Idiot vs Idiot (Warning: Interactive) (504 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: -0.15 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rillins (View user info) at 2006-11-02 17:33:09 EST
I would like to share with you all some gems from my local newspaper's opinion line.
• The only thing Democrats are good at is changing a positive into a negative.
(Because everything is always just so positive?)
• Sen. John Kerry's slam of U.S. military personnel shows everyone what a true lowlife he is. "Cut and run" Kerry should be ashamed of himself and apologize to the troops.
(He should apologize, if he wasn't taken out of context)
• Who is brave or sensible enough to charge John Kerry with treason?
(Treason? Really?)
• Military personnel will cut and run into civilian life if they have to serve under the Democratic Party represented by Kerry.
(The world will apparently come to an end if any Democrat is elected. Puh-leeze. It's like those people who said "if we vote Democrat after Sept. 11 then we might as well just give up." Because, obviously, Democrats don't love our nation as much as Republicans.)
• Limbaugh has the right to say what he wants about who he wants. And Fox has the right to feel offended without needing an apology. That's American law.
(American law means never having to say "I'm sorry")
• Once the Democrats get total control, they'll quickly move to expand the welfare entitlement state to the point that they'll never have to fear being kicked out of power again.
(Oh Noes! It's the end of society!)
• Only Democrats could look at a 12,000 Dow and 4 percent unemployment, and say it's a bad economy because high school dropouts working at Wal-Mart are not getting rich
(Yeah, because helping normal people get rich is what government is all about)
Opinions such as these typically control the opinion section of the paper. If not Kerry, than any other Liberal Democrat (because you just can't say "Democrat" anymore.)
If you couldn't guess I live in Kansas, the reddest of the red states (let's all go cow tipping to celebrate). Wo0t!
Well, here's my challenge. I want someone from a blue state [bluest of the blue (let's all go drive Volvo's to celebrate) Wo0t!] to post some of their local paper's opinions in order to combat the opinions I posted. We'll call it "Idiot vs. Idiot, an Idiot's Guide to Arguing Politics." Must use REAL opinion line material and quote sources.
http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/news/editorial/
User Reviews
Submitted by rennfahrer (user info) at 2006-11-03 13:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good idea....
Although I can't see how you can argue with this one:
"• Only Democrats could look at a 12,000 Dow and 4 percent unemployment, and say it's a bad economy because high school dropouts working at Wal-Mart are not getting rich"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-03 13:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good idea.
Bad execution.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-11-03 10:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really enjoy how the following two bullet points contradict each other:
• Sen. John Kerry's slam of U.S. military personnel shows everyone what a true lowlife he is. "Cut and run" Kerry should be ashamed of himself and apologize to the troops.
(He should apologize, if he wasn't taken out of context)
This is a treasonous offense.
• Limbaugh has the right to say what he wants about who he wants. And Fox has the right to feel offended without needing an apology. That's American law.
(American law means never having to say "I'm sorry")
This is ok, because it was said by Rush, who likes Republicans.
Submitted by ScarfaceMN (user info) at 2006-11-03 09:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd bite, but I'm a bit short of a paper, and our papers go half and half in the opinion page (half Democrat backers, half Republicans.) That and I don't give a shit. The American public will vote another bunch of assholes who could not care less about anything that isn't their pocketbooks into office. Fuck 'em all.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-03 01:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and this was a great post.
Well done.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-03 01:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I
Mister President,
From way up high
in your ivory tower
please set a precedent
and deliver to me a pie
with flaky crust, bathed in your power
And mister chief of state
please watch while I masturbate
over that pie plate
and please mr. president, salivate.
And please mr. president
I don't think I'm asking much
but when I blow, please pass the dutch
don't keep me waiting
once I'm done masturbating
And Mr. bush
once we're done that spliff
open your mouth,
and breathe deep my chocolate starfish quiff
and once that's done.
for a bit more fun,
lick my gun.
Or better yet, do what I fuckin told ya
For poets this is called the fucking volta
Get rended limb from limb
you worthless sack of shit
and choke to death on donkey shit.
You're a worthless scar on this earth's anus
to say the least your existence is heinous
so fuck my pleasure genital
I hope pus filled warts cover your genitals
You are the worst thing on this planet,
positively fecal
And I hope you die a painful death.
Mr. President please realize this is not a threat.
But I really hate you, much to your bereft.
II
Mrs. Bush you are a whore
I fucked you on your bathroom floor
On Quaaludes you were most sedated
Jeb behind the mirror masturbated
And then miss Bush there was a pig roast
one stick in each end
and then each proposed a toast
while we violated your rear end
the date rape was glorious,
on the internet it will be notorious
oh Mrs. Bush your son and me
we raped your conscious sanctity,
and fucked your every hole.
But don't get despondent,
you have about a week before our viral correspondence
spreads throughout the net
and you must with a tourniquet
stop your putride bloody heart from beating.
Oh mrs. Bush, this is not a threat
but I hope you meet the butt end of a berret, a
and lose your teeth, and sink putrid into sewage
you vapid piece of floppy shit.
III
So this is the end of this little ditty
Your family pollutes your nation, and your city
There's nothing I could say that has not been said
me and most the world all wish you dead.
But this is not a threat. Take this to heart
I simply wish a stingray would stab you through the heart
So please vacation in locations tropical
and get chestfucked so deep no ointments topical
or surgical bandages, could save your worthless lives
---
That should be its own post.
Magic.
Submitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2006-11-03 01:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What newspaper is this?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-11-02 22:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:38:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
The line goes:
'Even if you win, you're still a retard.'
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-02 20:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-11-02 19:12:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
__________
when mr. conservative -2s your post, you know theres nothing there to argue about.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-02 20:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Serious pukeage.....
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-11-02 19:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right, point was for you guys to find an argument. I get tired of trying to be witty with this stuff; it's just all eye rolling.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:54:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
• Only Democrats could look at a 12,000 Dow and 4 percent unemployment, and say it's a bad economy because high school dropouts working at Wal-Mart are not getting rich
(Yeah, because helping normal people get rich is what government is all about)
So did you mean to make your little remarks in the parenthesis funny and witty? Because they weren't, and they weren't even cohesive in thought. What the hell does this Wal-mart one supposed to mean? You didn't even defend the liberal viewpoint; you gave a meanlingless sarcastic remark to another sarcastic remark. I don't think you even understood the original statement.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The line goes:
'Even if you win, you're still a retard.'
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I
Mister President,
From way up high
in your ivory tower
please set a precedent
and deliver to me a pie
with flaky crust, bathed in your power
And mister chief of state
please watch while I masturbate
over that pie plate
and please mr. president, salivate.
And please mr. president
I don't think I'm asking much
but when I blow, please pass the dutch
don't keep me waiting
once I'm done masturbating
And Mr. bush
once we're done that spliff
open your mouth,
and breathe deep my chocolate starfish quiff
and once that's done.
for a bit more fun,
lick my gun.
Or better yet, do what I fuckin told ya
For poets this is called the fucking volta
Get rended limb from limb
you worthless sack of shit
and choke to death on donkey shit.
You're a worthless scar on this earth's anus
to say the least your existence is heinous
so fuck my pleasure genital
I hope pus filled warts cover your genitals
You are the worst thing on this planet,
positively fecal
And I hope you die a painful death.
Mr. President please realize this is not a threat.
But I really hate you, much to your bereft.
II
Mrs. Bush you are a whore
I fucked you on your bathroom floor
On Quaaludes you were most sedated
Jeb behind the mirror masturbated
And then miss Bush there was a pig roast
one stick in each end
and then each proposed a toast
while we violated your rear end
the date rape was glorious,
on the internet it will be notorious
oh Mrs. Bush your son and me
we raped your conscious sanctity,
and fucked your every hole.
But don't get despondent,
you have about a week before our viral correspondence
spreads throughout the net
and you must with a tourniquet
stop your putride bloody heart from beating.
Oh mrs. Bush, this is not a threat
but I hope you meet the butt end of a berret, a
and lose your teeth, and sink putrid into sewage
you vapid piece of floppy shit.
III
So this is the end of this little ditty
Your family pollutes your nation, and your city
There's nothing I could say that has not been said
me and most the world all wish you dead.
But this is not a threat. Take this to heart
I simply wish a stingray would stab you through the heart
So please vacation in locations tropical
and get chestfucked so deep no ointments topical
or surgical bandages, could save your worthless lives.