Odd Males Who Have Attempted to Penetrate My Drawers: Episode I – “I Like Your Balls” (2268 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.55 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lisa (View user info) at 2006-11-04 16:48:30 EST
"Hey, I like your balls! They're bouncy and fun!"
"Thanks?"
And to think that only an hour prior, I had scissors in my hand, about to snip off the retarded fuzzy balls on my winter boots. Had I cut off my balls that fateful night, I never would have met Arthur the Artist and his cokewhore girlfriend.
"Come have a drink with us!"
"I'm on my way to the grocery store..."
"Come on, we're just going around the corner."
I figured anything was better than sitting down to a homemade Italian dinner for one, popping in a bad Jennifer Aniston movie and sobbing pitifully into my meat sauce over a breakup, so I joined Arthur. He pointed to a tall blonde marching ten yards ahead of him: "I've been seeing this girl for two weeks, and she is a trip. Her name is Bridget. She's fun, but you have to be nice to her."
"Okay."
"We were just at a gallery showing. I think she's going to rep my work. She's been all over the world, she's a model, she's worked with celebrities, she's dated millionaires."
"What kind of art do you do?"
We followed Bridget into a dive on State Street, where Arthur pulled out a pocketbook of his work samples. Most of them were Jackson Pollock meets Magic Eye—a bunch of crazy paint splatters with hidden faces of women.
Arthur smiled at us as we took seats at the bar. "My two lovely ladies. What are you drinking, sweetheart? I'm buying."
Arthur ordered an entire bottle of red wine and practically filled my glass to the brim. Bridget sat with her back to us, periodically leaning over her shoulder to address us. "I'm sorrrry, there is so much drama going on right now. Snot you, it's me. I'm having a mellldown."
"That's okay, I understand, I kind of am too." Bridget shook her head again and hunched over her wine.
Arthur moaned sympathetically. "Ohh, give me a hug!" Arthur hugged me. "Now give me a kiss!"
"Don't you think that might upset your girlfriend?"
"Just a quick one, it won't matter." I gave him a peck. At this point, I was pretty sure Arther the Artist and his cokewhore girlfriend were swingers.
"Bridget, who do you model for?"
"Oh...pmmfff...thas a question I can never annswer...do you know John Doe?"
"No, I've never heard of him."
"How about Richard Roe?"
"No."
"He's the most famous photographer in Chicago!"
"Yeah...no, sorry."
"Well, he wanted to develllop me as a modelll. I've been all over the worrrld, really. I've modelllled, I've worked with celebrrrities, I've dated millllionaires."
"Isn't Bridget gorgeous?"
"Yeah, she has a beautiful face." Actually, Bridget kind of looked like a strung-out bird that had been smashed between a Hummer and a concrete wall.
"She has a beautiful EVERYTHING," he whispered in my ear as he took my hand. Yep, swingers. "We just light up a room when we walk in together."
"You two are very glamorous."
"Yes, we are glamorous! And you are glamorous with us! I love Bridget's narrow face, but your features, my God! Those wide-set eyes? And I love the contrast between you two." Definitely swingers. Arthur, who had been holding my listless ring finger, now moved one hand to my knee and refilled my half-empty glass with the other. Bridget seemed to be flirting with a new guy, and we listened to their conversation about coke.
"Have you ever done coke?" Arthur whispered. "I've done it a few times, but I don't make it a habit. We're going to my place later, there will be partying, wine, drugs—
"Nnno more drugs," spat Bridget.
"Kidding about the drugs! Her cousin just died of a coke overdose. You know, Lisa, I'm looking for an apprentice. Ideally it would be an art student looking for a paying part-time job. Someone to model for me and help me with my equipment."
"Uh, I could maybe do that. Maybe."
Arthur thanked me and left for the bathroom. I took off my jacket and started a conversation with Al, the friendly-looking old man in the corner who appeared to be highly amused by our situation. "I don't mean to be rude, but you have an interesting face, what's your ethnic background?"
"Well, I like to think I am an American, but my father was Chinese."
"Really? I thought you might be Native American."
Arthur reappeared on his stool. "I'm Irish, but I'm also part Cherokee."
"Yeah?"
"Because I'm a JEEP!"
"Ha...what?"
"Hey, I love your shirt. I love the stripes. They're so...and the edges of your stripes...mmm."
"What?"
Arthur, ever-conscious of the contents of my glass, poured white wine into my leftover shiraz. "You like white wine, don't you? Let's get a Rose going here."
New guy, who was actually cool and normal, asked me questions about school. "Lisa is going to be my apprentice," boasted Arthur.
"I'm still not quite sure what that entails."
I ignored Arthur's hand, which was now inside the lower back of my shirt. Bridget leaned back to scold him, and I caught bits of their whispers: "...your hannnds...like...what is that...if I did that...kick my ass...cousin died...just friendly...my apprentice...play your cards right..." Arthur sheepishly inched his hand out from under my shirt.
It was now clear to my drunken mind that Arthur the Artist and his cokewhore girlfriend were not swingers, but monogamous, and he was flirting with me *literally* behind her back without making the slightest effort to hide it.
Bridget leaned back. "Your presentation in here sucks."
"Mine?" I asked.
"No. His. Hee...hee is taking advantage of us, because he knows I am a nice girrrl, and you are a nice girrrl. He doesn't understand what it means to be in a monnnogamous relationssship."
"Oh, come on, we're going back to my place afterwards and we're going to have a party."
She put her hand up. "Nnno, I'm not going. If you two are into that, you go. Your presentation here ssssssssucks. You don't understand the kind of connections it has."
Arthur slipped a hand into my boot and tried to tug my jeans out of them. Really, Arthur? You're really going to feel up my shins? I pushed his hand away.
"I think you're in enough trouble."
"Just give me a little skin."
"I don't think so."
Bridget finally turned her whole body towards us and waved her finger in the air. "You two are the most antisssocial people here! You don't try to pick up another girl while we're on a date! And you, you are easy."
"I'm easy?" I asked, amazed. "I've been with two people!" Why am I defending myself to this coked-up bitch?
"Yes, you are easy. When I am walking down the ssstreet with my boyfriend, you don't accept his innnvitation to come along."
"I'm sorry that I've hurt you, really. I didn't know what kind of people you were, or why you asked me to come in the first place."
Arthur shooshed me, eyes closed. "Relax."
"No, it's cool, I understand why she's upset."
"You did hurt me! I am on a date with my boyfriend." Who is clearly a misguided homosexual.
"Hey Lisa, want to get something to eat?" asked new guy.
"Hell yeah, let's go, I'm starving!"
As I put on my jacket, Arthur hissed desperately, "Relaxxx." He caught my arm and breathed heavily in my face. "Okay, I won't ask you to stay. All I ask is that you answer when I call."
New guy and I made our way to Blue Chicago. "So, tell me...how did you meet that artist guy and his cokewhore girlfriend?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-11-17 11:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the way the blonde talked. I mean in a sad, I-can't-stand-her kind of way.
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-11-06 21:03:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Err... that didn't make any sense.
I meant I can't stand people who have poodles and wear poofy stuff like those balls.
Cut them off.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your ability to wear those balls on your boots is directly hinged on whether or not you have a poodle.
Coincidentally, so is my likelihood of despising you.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-06 16:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-06 05:43:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SMELL LIKE TUNA
Yeah, I ate out for lunch. Your mom's a sweet lady.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the post was OK, but you get a +2 for pissing people off
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You people...
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-11-06 15:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EW I hope you cut off the fuzzy ball cause that looks dumm.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Something good. That is SO refreshing.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2006-11-06 08:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-11-06 08:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
if this bothered pentameter it would be pathetic enough, but that fact that it bothers someone else on pentameter's behalf is excruciatingly retarded
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-06 05:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SMELL LIKE TUNA
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-06 05:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good, and the reviews were entertaining as well!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-06 04:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You didn't answer the man's question though.
There's not shame in getting laggered and staggering out the door with some vauge person of the opposite gender after being hit on by something repulsive mind. For all we know "New Guy" was some profoundly beautiful piece of masculine architecture, like a cross between a lion and a dolphin with a gentle but massive tool.
For the sake of our ego's, however, we shall all imagine him a bloated liar.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-05 21:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I call him "new guy" because I don't remember his name, and if I made up an arbitrary one, i.e. "Steve," I know if I ever saw him there again I'd be like, "Hey Steve, how's it going?" He was the "new guy" in our party, not in my life.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-11-05 20:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So I'm guessing you and new guy had sex?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-05 17:43:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Always a pleasure.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-11-05 16:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-11-05 16:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-05 15:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-11-05 14:52:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
At least situations like this make for interesting stories (if you survive)
--------
hey is ur user name in aid of the cereal or the drug??????
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-11-05 14:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least situations like this make for interesting stories (if you survive)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-05 13:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-05 07:00:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-05 05:53:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-11-05 02:49:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
---
Personally, I think you need to expand your parameters on what you consider 'real'.
---
Your opinions about "expanded parameters" are words on a screen, as are mine. You say this is real life? I don't believe you would speak to me or anyone else in real life the way you do on Uber. Nor would Shlongy or Caulaincourt. Nah, buddy, this is an anonymous shitslinging festival, not real life.
---
Everything is 'real life', silly.
Do you honestly think you are engaged in some sort of fake life? I mean the person who created this 'Bubba' moniker... as you sit there reading these words - you know full well that someone took the time to write this shit out. Someone put (minimal) effort into responding directly to something that you put out there. This dialogue we are having is REAL.
It might have very little MEANING... and be completely and utterly useless.
But still very real.
It's anonymous, there is a giant heap of shit-slinging and the festivities never end.
Some people absolutely take advantage of the anonymity and conduct themselves like giant annoying fuck-heads... that is their choice.
I would argue most of them are just as unlikable away from the computer... just not so 'vocal'.
If you were to act like an abrasive sycophantic nut-job I would say the exact same things directly to your face as I do online. (I am good like that.) I just don't think we would ever find ourselves "hanging out". That is the beauty of these types of forums - we get exposed to the inner workings of some hugely divergent world views and through this rather simplistic communication tool, engage in some very unique conversations.
Even if the content of that exchange produces nothing more than colorful descriptions of genitalia, a regurgitated mom joke, or a hearty 'fuck you' - your participation, the clacking of keys... they are all quite real.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-05 13:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because this is hilarious...I love stories like this
+2 for flattery
+2 for creepfirebombing defending my honor
Sadly, it took me a minute to figure out this was a play on my title from way back when.
For those of you jumping down creep's throat, he and I are actually friends in real life. He's the type of guy who stands up for his friends whether the situation is big or small, so that's probably why he was so annoyed when he thought you were trying to rip me off (which I don't think you were).
Creep's a good guy who I am happy to call my friend...so...everyone can calm down. It's all good.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-05 12:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! i want some shin too
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-11-05 12:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge i've been working non-computer jobs for the past few months, so i don't get much time at home with my beloved macbook. plus i have nothing worthy to post.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-11-05 12:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your balls.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-11-05 10:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would have been a +3 if the shenanigans had continued back at the artist's place. +4 if the situation had escalated into dancing barefoot while eating icecream.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-05 10:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to hang out with Arthur.
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-11-05 10:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-05 10:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-05 10:18:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-05 09:54:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
No...I would act and say the same stuff.
______
Right! Lyin' sack of shit. I've heard stories...
:)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-05 09:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No...I would act and say the same stuff.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-05 07:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-05 05:53:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-11-05 02:49:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
-------
Ubersite is about as far away from the real world as you can possibly get.
Isn't that the point? It's to get away from our lives for a little while. I'm sure we bullshit with other real people and tell the same stories to people we can see and feel and smell, but the purpose of this place is to distract us from ourselves.
There are about 10 people on this site who are real to me because I have met them and spoken to them. The rest of you are just words on a screen.
This is not the real world. Not even close.
---
hehe...
See?
"real world"
I don't come here to get away from my life - I am actually addicted to spouting my own bullshit. I loves it.
Anyways... look, people on this site utilize affected speech - or needless verbosity - and other less obvious intangibles that display who they would like to appear to be. It has certainly been my experience that people become 'familiar'.
You display a small reflection of your soul on sites like this. We routinely barf out our deepest thoughts... passions. Embarrassing stories, fabrications, dreams, experiences.
We show personality, (extreme) bias.
Auto - Approval of posts and forge other types of friendship. Thinking someone is cool is a real feeling... and I think some of the contributors on this site are out-fucking-standing. Some are simple idiots - but they provide various levels of entertainment so they are essential... and also real in their annoying little ways.
You come to this site to get away?
I guess my life isn't sad enough to want to get away from it. I rather enjoy my life... this website is certainly part of it - I happen to find it highly engaging. A great place for mental masturbation... a wonderful place to purge. I have a lot of built up frustration with how stupid we are as a society... and I love being able to come here and vent.
But I also enjoy some of the other posts... and the community immensely. This place is fascinating to me... and I am sure many others.
Personally, I think you need to expand your parameters on what you consider 'real'.
____________
Your opinions about "expanded parameters" are words on a screen, as are mine. You say this is real life? I don't believe you would speak to me or anyone else in real life the way you do on Uber. Nor would Shlongy or Caulaincourt. Nah, buddy, this is an anonymous shitslinging festival, not real life.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-05 06:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not easy to read. But that could be the blinding hangover and the right lights stabbing mine eyes.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-05 06:49:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the only person who should be saying anythign to lisa about the similarity to pentameters title is pentameter.
who the fuck knows or rememebers EVERY other title written by other people. women get hit on by weird guys a lot, so this sort of title is going to be a common thing between many women. get the fuck over it.
i thought the story was really engaging, and i highly enjoyed the dialogue - well except for the 'drunk person' dialogue. its hard to write a strange accent well.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-05 05:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-11-05 02:49:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
-------
Ubersite is about as far away from the real world as you can possibly get.
Isn't that the point? It's to get away from our lives for a little while. I'm sure we bullshit with other real people and tell the same stories to people we can see and feel and smell, but the purpose of this place is to distract us from ourselves.
There are about 10 people on this site who are real to me because I have met them and spoken to them. The rest of you are just words on a screen.
This is not the real world. Not even close.
---
hehe...
See?
"real world"
I don't come here to get away from my life - I am actually addicted to spouting my own bullshit. I loves it.
Anyways... look, people on this site utilize affected speech - or needless verbosity - and other less obvious intangibles that display who they would like to appear to be. It has certainly been my experience that people become 'familiar'.
You display a small reflection of your soul on sites like this. We routinely barf out our deepest thoughts... passions. Embarrassing stories, fabrications, dreams, experiences.
We show personality, (extreme) bias.
Auto - Approval of posts and forge other types of friendship. Thinking someone is cool is a real feeling... and I think some of the contributors on this site are out-fucking-standing. Some are simple idiots - but they provide various levels of entertainment so they are essential... and also real in their annoying little ways.
You come to this site to get away?
I guess my life isn't sad enough to want to get away from it. I rather enjoy my life... this website is certainly part of it - I happen to find it highly engaging. A great place for mental masturbation... a wonderful place to purge. I have a lot of built up frustration with how stupid we are as a society... and I love being able to come here and vent.
But I also enjoy some of the other posts... and the community immensely. This place is fascinating to me... and I am sure many others.
Personally, I think you need to expand your parameters on what you consider 'real'.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-11-05 02:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:15:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
PENTAMETER WRITES A SERIES CALLED "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS." http://www.ubersite.com/m/95317#2211581
Jesus, you people are idiots. I highly doubt Pentameter gives a flying fuck about how many hits she gets on a website. She's probably out in the real world right now, worrying about real things that involve real people.
---
People who refer to the 'real world' amuse the fuck out of me.
This IS the real world, sunshine. That keyboard your punch away at is real. Your ISP is real. Your thoughts and other people's reactions to your words - ALL real.
Why be defensive?
-------
Ubersite is about as far away from the real world as you can possibly get.
Isn't that the point? It's to get away from our lives for a little while. I'm sure we bullshit with other real people and tell the same stories to people we can see and feel and smell, but the purpose of this place is to distract us from ourselves.
There are about 10 people on this site who are real to me because I have met them and spoken to them. The rest of you are just words on a screen.
This is not the real world. Not even close.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-04 23:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was really good, well done.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-04 22:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-11-04 22:08:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
i had some fucking twit ask me out the other day at my local watering hole......keep in mind that i do wear my wedding ring. and this fucktard was wearing his collar turned up. he says to me, "you are one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen, like a mix of angelina jolie and catherine zeta jones".
uh yeah, ok.
well i AM, but i am also faithfully devoted to electro. my beloved chocolate encrusted electro.
---
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-11-04 22:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i had some fucking twit ask me out the other day at my local watering hole......keep in mind that i do wear my wedding ring. and this fucktard was wearing his collar turned up. he says to me, "you are one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen, like a mix of angelina jolie and catherine zeta jones".
uh yeah, ok.
well i AM, but i am also faithfully devoted to electro. my beloved chocolate encrusted electro.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-04 22:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-11-04 20:10:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-04 20:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-04 19:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You have some really stpuid fucking acquaintances.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-11-04 19:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
who's pentameter?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 19:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:49:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:44:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
---------------------------------------
The original series was decent, can't say I have an opinion on this one since I can't be bothered to read it. I know you haven't read it, thus you would be one of the people who didn't get the title. Happens all the time.
---
ergo : provide a link. (I win!)
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot for the life of me imagine going out for a drink with two weirdos I met on the street.
Unless they were hot and rich and ....naw fuck it. It's better than watching a Jennifer Aniston movie, I'd have to agree.
This should have been your (tenth) clue: "Someone to model for me and help me with my equipment."
NO NO NO
the answer is always NO
And I can't believe this dude kept touching you and you LET him. Skeevy! Learn to run. At least you did eventually.
Makes me think of the guy at the party last Friday who had no teeth and asked me to cuff him (I was wearing a cop costume, the kind you love so much). I said no. He asked "are you married?" I said yes. He said "Cheat on your husband?" !! it was, of course, worth him asking because I was at that moment really hoping some toothless, longhaired stinky tweaker would come hit on me so I could sleep with him. Then he moved on to my friend, dressed in her ragdoll costume, and took one of her braids and started stroking his face with it. "MMMmm...." he said. "That's what I"M Talkin about..."
WTF
CREEPY GUYS ARE....CREEPY
Case in point: http://www.ubersite.com/m/26599
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:44:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Odd Males Who Have Attempted to Penetrate My Drawers" gives credit to "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS" Rob. Jesus, people play off of other people's titles all the time here.
---
Um... Darko, I don't actually give much of a shit.
I didn't read the original series, I am shocked I even read this one.
---------------------------------------
The original series was decent, can't say I have an opinion on this one since I can't be bothered to read it. I know you haven't read it, thus you would be one of the people who didn't get the title. Happens all the time.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Odd Males Who Have Attempted to Penetrate My Drawers" gives credit to "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS" Rob. Jesus, people play off of other people's titles all the time here.
---
Um... Darko, I don't actually give much of a shit.
I didn't read the original series, I am shocked I even read this one.
Seems to me if there was an attempt at giving credit - a link would have been the thing to do.
That is all I am sayin'.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Odd Males Who Have Attempted to Penetrate My Drawers" gives credit to "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS" Rob. Jesus, people play off of other people's titles all the time here.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:37:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
The story wasn't bad, but you're not even going to give credit to Pentameter for starting this type of post damn near two years ago?
Strange Men Who Have Tried To Get Into My Pants: Episode I - The Zombie-Hating Skate Rat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60906
--------------------------------------------
The title is credit, she made it clear what she was reffering and not linking makes it an inside uber thing which older users get. It's not like it wasn't a well known series.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
PENTAMETER WRITES A SERIES CALLED "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS." http://www.ubersite.com/m/95317#2211581
Jesus, you people are idiots. I highly doubt Pentameter gives a flying fuck about how many hits she gets on a website. She's probably out in the real world right now, worrying about real things that involve real people.
---
People who refer to the 'real world' amuse the fuck out of me.
This IS the real world, sunshine. That keyboard your punch away at is real. Your ISP is real. Your thoughts and other people's reactions to your words - ALL real.
Why be defensive?
IF you knew about the other series and were trying to emulate it in some way you should have given it credit.
If not... who gives a fuck?
Besides, assuming what the individual who employs the 'Pentameter' moniker THINKS is far more idiotic than some uber-purist pointing out that your story title was awfully similar to someone else's.
Because it is.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-11-04 18:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:52:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should develop and write a script for a sit-com pilot.
I know, I know, sit-coms are tripe but I think you could write a really nice one that will be better than 99.9% of the shit out there.
That might be the best compliment I've ever received, so thanks.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if this bothered pentameter it would be pathetic enough, but that fact that it bothers someone else on pentameter's behalf is excruciatingly retarded
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:52:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should develop and write a script for a sit-com pilot.
I know, I know, sit-coms are tripe but I think you could write a really nice one that will be better than 99.9% of the shit out there.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh...did you just call me an idiot?
This isn't about hits, you dumb cunt. It's about respect. You ripped off her title and didn't give her a link. I'm sure she doesn't care, but I do. Now go fuck yourself with a hot curling iron.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PENTAMETER WRITES A SERIES CALLED "STRANGE MEN WHO HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO MY PANTS." http://www.ubersite.com/m/95317#2211581
Jesus, you people are idiots. I highly doubt Pentameter gives a flying fuck about how many hits she gets on a website. She's probably out in the real world right now, worrying about real things that involve real people.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The story wasn't bad, but you're not even going to give credit to Pentameter for starting this type of post damn near two years ago?
Strange Men Who Have Tried To Get Into My Pants: Episode I - The Zombie-Hating Skate Rat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60906
This is, of course, not to say that you can't post a similar story. But if you're going to go so far as to spoof the title, at least grant the chick a link.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those aren't actually my boots, I just looked for a picture of boots with balls. Mine are better.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
those boots are really awful
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
decent story but for the life of me i can't decide why people wear those horrendous boots.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
outstanding
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Bah. I can't decide. Your drunk dialogue was annoying... but the story was ok until the end.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-04 17:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-04 16:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Bridget shook her head again and hunched over her wine."
No "again," since there was no first time.
"Arthur slipped a hand into my boot and tried to tug my jeans out of them."
"It," not "them."
I have to point out my errors before anyone else does. It's a sickness.