suggestions please (legitimate, please) (290 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.75 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cuntie (View user info) at 2006-11-06 13:52:48 EST
i was having a nice little affair with one hot mofo when i had too much to drink because i got frustrated when i could not see him and blew it - now how can i return to our lovely, casual relationship? if i just called him up and said i was dying to suck his cock again would that do it? what do you think? got any other ideas? i am serious!
User Reviews
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-13 15:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:08:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a suggestion:
- Step away from the keyboard.
- Walk to your office bathroom. If you are an unemployed whore, walk to your trailer's shitter.
- Turn on the faucet and plug up the sink so water will collect and pool.
- While this is happening, undress.
- Take it all of. I SAID TAKE IT OFF YOU FUCKING SLUT!
- That's better.
- Shit, I forgot something. Get dressed and go back to your office supply closet and/or trailer desk and procure the following items: stapler remover, gluestick, scissors, tape.
- Got 'em? Good.
- Go back to the bathroom and undress.
- Turn off the water. There should be a full sink in front of you.
- Using the stapler removers, bite at your nipples until they are raw, bloody and hanging by a few loose tatters of skin. Use the scissors to carefully snip them off.
- Place them in the full sink.
- Using the gluestick, run a thick smear of paste between your labia and close that fucking hole shut.
- Remove the severed nipples. Dry them off. Don't get any fresh blood on them - THEY'RE ACCESSORIES NOW.
- Using the tape, affix them to your earlobes. YOU'RE A PRETTY PONY NOW. YES YOU ARE!
- Hold the scissors by the handle between your feet, and quickly sit yourself down on the blades so they go up your ass, directly up your ass, do not pass "Go," do not collect $200.
- Smash your face against the countertop until your teeth are a shattered mess. Smile for the mirror and try not to think about all the assblood running down your thighs.
- Using the tape and some moxy, bind your wrists behind your back. You can do it if you try. Don't doubt me on this.
- Submerge your head in the pool of water until you're a drowned, dead, bloated, mess.
- Never post again.
----------
i second that motion
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-11-13 15:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:55:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
you could offer to let him stick his head up your ass. since yours is already there, it would be a great place to hold a SERIOUS talk about where you want the relationship to go.
==============
I laughed, I cried, I died.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:01:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
He's probably uneasy because your still a pre-op tranny. Don't worry, after the operation, he'll come back around cause there ain't no lovin' like post-op tranny lovin'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This post was really funny
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:14:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:08:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a suggestion:
- Step away from the keyboard.
- Walk to your office bathroom. If you are an unemployed whore, walk to your trailer's shitter.
- Turn on the faucet and plug up the sink so water will collect and pool.
- While this is happening, undress.
- Take it all of. I SAID TAKE IT OFF YOU FUCKING SLUT!
- That's better.
- Shit, I forgot something. Get dressed and go back to your office supply closet and/or trailer desk and procure the following items: stapler remover, gluestick, scissors, tape.
- Got 'em? Good.
- Go back to the bathroom and undress.
- Turn off the water. There should be a full sink in front of you.
- Using the stapler removers, bite at your nipples until they are raw, bloody and hanging by a few loose tatters of skin. Use the scissors to carefully snip them off.
- Place them in the full sink.
- Using the gluestick, run a thick smear of paste between your labia and close that fucking hole shut.
- Remove the severed nipples. Dry them off. Don't get any fresh blood on them - THEY'RE ACCESSORIES NOW.
- Using the tape, affix them to your earlobes. YOU'RE A PRETTY PONY NOW. YES YOU ARE!
- Hold the scissors by the handle between your feet, and quickly sit yourself down on the blades so they go up your ass, directly up your ass, do not pass "Go," do not collect $200.
- Smash your face against the countertop until your teeth are a shattered mess. Smile for the mirror and try not to think about all the assblood running down your thighs.
- Using the tape and some moxy, bind your wrists behind your back. You can do it if you try. Don't doubt me on this.
- Submerge your head in the pool of water until you're a drowned, dead, bloated, mess.
- Never post again.
---
um...
...wow.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to +2 this on basic principle.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a suggestion:
- Step away from the keyboard.
- Walk to your office bathroom. If you are an unemployed whore, walk to your trailer's shitter.
- Turn on the faucet and plug up the sink so water will collect and pool.
- While this is happening, undress.
- Take it all of. I SAID TAKE IT OFF YOU FUCKING SLUT!
- That's better.
- Shit, I forgot something. Get dressed and go back to your office supply closet and/or trailer desk and procure the following items: stapler remover, gluestick, scissors, tape.
- Got 'em? Good.
- Go back to the bathroom and undress.
- Turn off the water. There should be a full sink in front of you.
- Using the stapler removers, bite at your nipples until they are raw, bloody and hanging by a few loose tatters of skin. Use the scissors to carefully snip them off.
- Place them in the full sink.
- Using the gluestick, run a thick smear of paste between your labia and close that fucking hole shut.
- Remove the severed nipples. Dry them off. Don't get any fresh blood on them - THEY'RE ACCESSORIES NOW.
- Using the tape, affix them to your earlobes. YOU'RE A PRETTY PONY NOW. YES YOU ARE!
- Hold the scissors by the handle between your feet, and quickly sit yourself down on the blades so they go up your ass, directly up your ass, do not pass "Go," do not collect $200.
- Smash your face against the countertop until your teeth are a shattered mess. Smile for the mirror and try not to think about all the assblood running down your thighs.
- Using the tape and some moxy, bind your wrists behind your back. You can do it if you try. Don't doubt me on this.
- Submerge your head in the pool of water until you're a drowned, dead, bloated, mess.
- Never post again.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
tell him you'll let him do you in the ass and then go atm.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get the fuck out.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why are you asking the uberusers????????
Submitted by pinecone1 (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh whoops sorry - wrong site
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh wow...a woman who likes to suck cock and isn't ashamed to say it!!!!one!!1
Fuck off.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-11-06 14:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
He's probably uneasy because your still a pre-op tranny. Don't worry, after the operation, he'll come back around cause there ain't no lovin' like post-op tranny lovin'.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"The sherriff is on the way."
"What happened, did the retard escape?"
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yawn
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is Ubersite, not Love-line. Post something intelligent, if there is such a thing...
High five for letting everyone know you're a dirty whore.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, I got a suggestion. Get a bottle of Drano. Use half to give yourself an enema, and the other half to administer a cleansing douche.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you could offer to let him stick his head up your ass. since yours is already there, it would be a great place to hold a SERIOUS talk about where you want the relationship to go.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-11-06 13:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell him you love him. And then charm his cock like a viper by playing the pan flute.