College and Borat (1122 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -0.5 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dystopian (View user info) at 2006-11-06 19:34:49 EST
My weekend was shit. If college was a physical entity, I would summon the Jews from the netherworld to kill it. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I have no Social life. The entirety of my social interaction for the past two days of "glorious freedom" from class has been eating pizza with my family and watching Borat with friends.
On that tangent, only see Borat if you enjoy being kicked repeatedly in the testicles. The movie has sunken to a moral abyss so low that Paris Hilton may be considered virginal in comparison. Hell, even Hitler seems like a swell guy. Watching the movie was like witnessing a train wreck into a nuclear waste facility that ruptures and spews radioactive waste onto a pod of cute baby seals which mutate and fly off to sodomize small children. Unable to decide between seppuku, gouging out my eyes, and homicidal rampage, I sat in awe of the moral degradation of the steaming pile of shit that is Borat. I urge the reading public to see the movie purely for the unique experience that I can only compare to the worst hangover, dropping the soap in prison, and watching your dog get hit by a truck.
That tangent over, college sucks. A combination of excessive paper writing, Plato, and Aristotle has ruined me for all eternity. I have just spent five hours and approxiamately ten pages of text proving that the Christian Right is responsible for all that is wrong with America using the Socratic Method. I am now Philosophy's bitch, and he is a cruel master. My writing is the best it's ever been, my logic is undeniably poignant, but I spend so much time kicking ass on paper that I don't have the chance to actually move my ass from the pages of some book or the computer screen. I even had a fucking dream in the Socratic Method. I was talking to Plato about his Theory of Forms, and how it is bullshit. Being an absolute sadist, I decided that my nocturnal hallucinations would perhaps look good in a paper for my Honors Humanities course.
Note to self: do not attempt to disprove the Theory of Forms by attacking Aristotle and Plato's logic, it makes your head fucking hurt real bad.
User Reviews
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2006-11-23 18:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There just aren't enough way for you to fuck off and die.
Submitted by Jim_Lokus (user info) at 2006-11-23 17:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh the humility that comes with being a total retard....
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-21 17:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You only need checkout your subsequent two posts to see why... You are a loser that hates everyone.
"My weekend was shit. If college was a physical entity, I would summon the Jews from the netherworld to kill it. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I have no Social life. The entirety of my social interaction for the past two days of "glorious freedom" from class has been eating pizza with my family and watching Borat with friends."
This is the second time you mentinoed this. This is disturbing. You claim to be a girl. How would you know? Are you some kind of hermaphrodite?
"On that tangent, only see Borat if you enjoy being kicked repeatedly in the testicles."
If your writing is so good why does this post sound like it was writen by a schizophrenic retard with multiple personality disorder? For example the subject... College and Borat. Why? Usually if you're going to talk about about two totally different topics somewhere in the dialogue you link them together somehow, draw a parallel a metaphor, something? Not you. You just ramble incoherently about a movie you didn't like (that went over your head by the way) and then about how much you hate college. I've got a good idea for my next post "Fuel efficiency of the wankle rotary engine when fueled with methanol and the great transcendentalist poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson." It goes together like, well how much you hate college and the new movie from Borat! You suck!
"My writing is the best it's ever been, my logic is undeniably poignant, but I spend so much time kicking ass on paper that I don't have the chance to actually move my ass from the pages of some book or the computer screen."
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-20 00:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i didnt get what was so wrong with this post
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-11-20 00:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
get over yourself.
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2006-11-20 00:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
awful
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-19 16:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-19 15:52:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
x
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-06 21:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
woops.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-06 21:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a. Borat was awsome. I saw it twice over the weekend.
b. College is awsome. Plato kicks ass and Socrates is even better, but then again Im studying political philosophy.
Submitted by ScarfaceMN (user info) at 2006-11-06 21:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow... Where to begin?
Your review of the movie told us it sucked, we got that after the first line, jackass. But you didn't tell us WHY it sucked so bad. So we're all left to believe you're an idiot who didn't even see the movie.
Also: This is not your livejournal, myspace blog, or what not. You bitch about how bad your fucking life is at your own fucking risk. You, my friend, are a total puss for complaining about this shit. Philosophy classes? Damn, I used to load up on those and English courses because of the easy A they provide. You have no life? Maybe it's because you are, in real life, as boring as your writing.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
19M sodium hydroxide... Do not go there.
Also relevant to Borat, or any of Sacha Baron Cohen's work. Ali G was funny until you realised just that the man behind it actually held most of those attitudes...
And it's nothing to do with his religion. In fact, if anything, he should know better.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:55:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
Have a charity +1 because I couldn't have less interest in seeing Borat...in the theater, on YouTube, or even mentioned on Uber.
He ain't funny.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^JEW^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
try working 45+ hours a week and taking 14 hours of class.
sometimes i feed my cats. that is the extent of my social life.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Boo Hoo.
Try majoring in Organic Chemistry, then you'll know pain. I saw a girl spill 19M NaOH on herself today - she didn't realize it because it's a natural numbing-agent - and only figured it out when she went to pick up a pippette and her hand was bleeding all over her lab table. I guess that will teach her to wear headphones in lab so that the people around her screaming to warn her makes no impression on her.
Also, try staying sane when all your roommate does is walk around naked and have sex with his behemoth girlfriend on YOUR couch.
But Theory of Forms was a nuisance when I discussed it in Philosophy ... so I know where you're coming from: +1
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2006-11-06 20:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I forgot ubersite was actually called livejournal.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Watching the movie was like witnessing a train wreck into a nuclear waste facility that ruptures and spews radioactive waste onto a pod of cute baby seals which mutate and fly off to sodomize small children"
.......... so it was great?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Have a charity +1 because I couldn't have less interest in seeing Borat...in the theater, on YouTube, or even mentioned on Uber.
He ain't funny.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well sure but:
"Watching the movie was like witnessing a train wreck into a nuclear waste facility that ruptures and spews radioactive waste onto a pod of cute baby seals which mutate and fly off to sodomize small children. Unable to decide between seppuku, gouging out my eyes, and homicidal rampage, I sat in awe of the moral degradation of the steaming pile of shit that is Borat. I urge the reading public to see the movie purely for the unique experience that I can only compare to the worst hangover, dropping the soap in prison, and watching your dog get hit by a truck."
...is a pretty outstanding review - even if the dude didn't get it.
I'm still excited to sees it.
Submitted by jraines (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
Borat's entertaining, you're not
&
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Somebody didn't get point of the movie.
------------------------
Ditto and ditto, respectively.
The movie is a satire (i.e., not "for real").
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Borat's entertaining, you're not
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Should have been categorized: Shit.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL U R TEH SMRAT!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-06 19:44:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Somebody didn't get point of the movie.