Events (342 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dacin Adams <Dacin0828.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-11-07 04:19:46 EST
"More people are afraid of speaking in public than they are of dying."
This statement starts the event. My mind, curiously detached lately, homes in on this simple phrase like a compass needle finding magnetic north. Why this phrase among many others, I shall never know. I dwell on it. I ponder on it. How can so many people be scared of speaking in public instead of their life ending? How is that even possible?
The question obsesses me.
The more I think of it, the more reasons flood into my mind. Like a buzzing mosquito around my ear, they keep me up at night. Swirling around that one central thought, my mind enters frenzied exhaustion. I can't sleep. Food holds no attraction. Something is wrong and I can't bring myself to care until I can answer the question of why the world around me makes no sense.
The answer comes to me as I stare blankly at a thumbtack in my wall. People aren't afraid of dying because they have lost their appreciation for life. My eyes snap open fully. Color washes back into the world and I smile for the first time in days. It was so easy. The answer was there the whole time! I rush out my door to share this revelation with every man, woman, and child I see.
A homeless man sits on the sidewalk in front of my home. He has crutches and a small dog on a leash. He claims to be a veteran of war, but his eyes are full of greed and manipulation. I can share nothing of knowledge with this man, or any like him. Doubt plagues me. I might reach a hundred souls, but millions will not be able to hear my message.
The despair is immediate and total. Depression destroys my world.
As I lie in bed that night, my mind once again won't let me sleep. My thoughts spin from one to another worse than before. I beg for serenity and am convinced my mind is a traitor. I stare at my ceiling as I realize that I haven't been to work in four days. I am comforted knowing that work isn't important. My message is. I capitalize it in my thoughts to give it prominence. The Message. Die so others can appreciate life. My mind is satisfied. I sleep.
I wake up to find myself sitting on my couch. I'm confused. I was in bed hours ago. My apartment is filled with the reek of dishes in my sink, my trash can, and myself. I think I've been sitting this way for hours. For a few minutes, I worry about myself. I should take a shower. Clean myself up and then clean up my place. At least brush my teeth. God, how long since I used a toothbrush?
Something hot and rusted awakes in my mind. I feel feverish as thoughts of hygiene fade away to white noise and The Message becomes my priority. My mind feels attacked with a strange form of clarity. I can teach people my Message. I can proclaim it to the entire world. In the Bible, Jesus did it in a small part of one country. All I need is a stage, and I can be a special Messenger of God. I whisper that title to myself as I leave my home, a man with a mission. I watch my feet, and the world goes blank for awhile. It's comforting.
I'm staring at a mall. I look around briefly and realize that I have found the perfect platform. People are shopping for the holidays and it looks as if every store is packed. I look around attentively at the shoppers, unaware that I'm really staring vacantly ahead with my head slightly cocked. Something in me has become unhinged.
My sanity starts stretch like taffy. I blank out.
I'm at the mall again. My clothes are filthy. People are staring at me and my scalp feels like it's crawling off my head. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not even wearing socks. My fingers have blisters on them. They hurt like a bitch. It must have been all that wire I was messing with last night. I need to get some band aids on them before they get infected. The way the grime is caked on my hands, I wouldn't be surprised if I got put into a hospital. Hell, I could have an infection swimming in my veins right now. I could be dying. That would make me a martyr. A martyr for my cause, my devotion. A martyr for the Message. I'm going to go down in history.
I shoulder my backpack and move towards the center of the building.
I walk past an information desk and wink at the girl working there. We're going to be martyrs together, her and I. She offers me a look of disgust as I walk by, but I don't notice. My mind is yammering a hundred different phrases at once. I miss her look of disgust turn to one of alarm as I pass her.
The center of the mall is a play area for children. I stop about a hundred feet from the nearest coin operated ride. I sway on my feet. My balance has left with the dodo it seems. I wait for my focus. Please God, let me focus and stop this whole thing once and for all. I cry a little as I put my pack on the ground and notice that the zipper is broken. Everyone in the mall has seen the instrument of my Message. We will all go, knowing we make this world a better place for others. I reach forward to turn the homemade timer.
Four impacts slam into my back and I'm thrown ten feet away. I can't move. I try to raise my hand to wipe at the gray around my eyes and nothing happens. I'm staring down the black tunnel of the officer's gun as the spinning in my mind slows down like a centrifuge finally coming to rest.
I am at peace. The blackness swallows me.
(disclaimer: With the latest about Shitfuck and all, I want to state that I don't intend to do anything described. This is solely a work of fiction)
User Reviews
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll admit it, the only reason why I'm rating my own work is to get it back on the reviewed list.
I'm such a whore for attention
Submitted by BlueEagle (user info) at 2006-11-07 12:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
real good writing.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-07 10:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another good piece of work goes relitivly un-noticed.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-07 08:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2006-11-07 08:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sooooooooooo telling a government agency.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-07 05:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-11-07 05:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment