Bright Blue Bliss (90 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (View user info) at 2006-11-07 11:07:13 EST
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I was fourteen the first time I tried Ecstasy.
My fifth birthday party was really more of a family reunion. We had a barbecue in the back yard and all of my aunts, uncles, and grandparents came in from Michigan. I never really cared for any of my extended family. My aunts and uncles were all borderline white trash. My grandparents were just too condescending. I was only five and I knew that. And finally, my cousins were all older than me and would later become your stereotypical frat boys.
There was one exception though. At that age, Uncle Ernie was definitely my favorite; he always had a couple of new magic tricks or a great story to tell. He was a well-built man, something that seemed almost out of place with this family.
We were sitting in the backyard of our two story townhouse, not too far away from my dad grilling the food. My parents both grew up in the rural Midwest and neither wanted to leave.
Uncle Ernie walked over to me and put a hand on my back. "I need a volunteer." He looked down at me. "How about you sir?"
I laughed and nodded. The first thing he did was pull a quarter out of my ear, which I had seen him do before and no matter how much I tried, I could never find it on my own.
"How'd you do that?"
"Shh. I'm not done yet."
He took the quarter and threw it into the air. My neck arched back to follow the quarter up, but it was gone. I laughed but was sad too, I wanted that quarter.
Uncle Ernie leaned down to me. "Jake, go look in your grandma's hamburger."
I was confused but I did as he said. My grandmother was smiling as I walked towards her. She lifted the bun off her burger and sitting on the patty, was a quarter.
"WOW! How'd you do that?" I shouted as I shoved the quarter into my pocket before he had a chance to make it disappear again. "You have to show Danny!"
Danny was my older brother. Six years older and he was always in a bad mood. I don't remember ever seeing him smile but I thought maybe the magic trick will get him to crack one.
Uncle Ernie smiled, "Maybe later, ok?"
My mom came out of the house, a worried look on her face. "Has anyone seen Danny?"
Everyone went quit, most people looked at my dad but a handful looked at Uncle Ernie. I wasn't sure why.
After the house was checked, people hurried into their cars to search the neighborhood. "He can't have gone far." was repeated by just about everyone.
They all searched for hours while I sat in the house with my grandparents. Neither of them talked to me, they were more worried about Danny. A banner over my head exclaimed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!" to an empty house.
They didn't get back until after dark. My parents struggled through the door first, my dad holding my mom as she cried. Then my aunts and uncles came in, heartbroken.
Except for Uncle Ernie.
He was fuming as he walked through the door. He came straight for me and had one thing to say, "This is your fault. If you didn't have this party then your brother wouldn't be missing." He turned away and went to help console my mom.
My bottom lip quivered, I had never seen Uncle Ernie mad like that before. Why did he blame me? I thought he liked me.
Neither of my parents were really themselves after that. Mom started drinking and dad spent most of his time at work.
A couple years later, we were having Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparent's house in Michigan. Ever since Danny went missing, Uncle Ernie wasn't interested in showing me tricks or telling stories anymore.
I walked around the house, trying to find something an eight year old child could be entertained by. I passed by couches and chairs covered in plastic, green curtains that reminded me of a dried out alligator I saw on the news, and a bookcase full of dusty World War Two books. Then I passed by cousin after cousin, hearing bits of their conversations.
"She called out her own name in bed last night, should I be worried?"
"Yeah, she had an affair with Ernie about nine months before Danny was born."
I saw my dad talking to Uncle Ernie near the front door and asked him what an affair is. Ernie quickly excused himself as my father asked me why I wanted to know.
"I heard someone say that mom had one nine months before Danny was born. It sounded kind of bad and I wanted to make sure she was ok."
My dad didn't answer. His jaw clenched the way it always does when he's angry. He turned away from me walked towards mom. Ernie had just said something to her and I watched as her expression shifted from joy to terror. Mouth open, eyes wide, a hand brought up to her face.
My father started shouting as soon as he saw the two standing together. I had never heard him yell like that before and I could tell from the expression on my mother's face that she hadn't either. Ernie tried to interrupt, but as soon as he opened his mouth, my father punched him in the face. The only thing I've ever seen hit harder than that punch was when Ernie hit the ground. I felt the floor rattle and heard a glass shatter. Dad stormed out of the house and that was the last time I saw him.
Things got worse for my mom after that. She was drinking a lot more and had trouble getting, much less keeping a job.
The summer before I started high school, I met and became fast friends with Dom Riley; a bit of a burnout but he turned out to be one of the best friends of my life.
We came over to my house one day during the summer before high school started and found my mom, lying motionless in dad's favorite chair with an empty prescription bottle at her feet. I was frozen but Dom quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. We walked to his house where I went up to his room as he called 9-1-1. He came up a few moments later and saw my staring blankly on the bed.
He thought for a moment before speaking. "Jake, I have something for you."
He opened his desk drawer and reached way in the back. He pulled out a tin of Altoids and offered me one.
"I don't want a mint." I said, feeling a lump in my throat.
"It's not a mint."
"Then what is it?"
"It will make you feel better, just take one."
Dom told me to swallow the pill, not chew it. So I did and moments later I couldn't help but feel a little bit happy. Bliss rushed over my body and I sat back on the bed.
"What was that?" I said through a smile.
"Ecstasy."
Despite what had happened before, and with Dom's "little helper", I really focused during high school and worked hard. I graduated in the top ten percent, got a scholarship to an Ivy League school, and met the love of my life. Her name is Jessica; we met in my Psychology class during our first year at Princeton. She tripped on the strap of someone's backpack and fell into my arms. I only wish I was paying more attention so I could have actually caught her. After she hit the ground, I bent down to see if she was all right.
She opened her eyes and I felt the same high I got that first day on Ex.
"Are you all right?"
She smiled, sending a second shot through my system, "I'm fine."
I helped her back up. There was an awkward moment between us and she was about to turn and leave. I knew I would have to kick my own ass if I didn't ask her out.
She was already facing away from me but I tried anyways, "Would you like to go for a cup of coffee after class?"
Her back turned away from me and her strawberry blond hair swung outward. Her face lit up and she laughed. "Sure."
The reason I was able to focus and work so well in high school was because Dom became my connection for Ex. The drug gave me such a euphoric attentiveness that I was able to really know what I was doing for class. But after high school, Dom went to Canada and my Ecstasy connection went with him. For the first couple of weeks, I was ok. But it wasn't long before the desire for one of those little yellow pills became intolerable.
Jessica and I were invited to a party on the third weekend of school. There were two things I noticed when I walked through the door. The first was the keg of beer by the door, which was convenient if nothing else. The second was a group of three guys bringing a hand to their mouths and then quickly jolting their heads back.
They were taking Ex.
I was instantly more excited to be at this party as I rushed over to make a few new friends. My hand digging through my pocket for whatever cash I had on me.
"How's it going guys, I'm Jake."
The blond guy with long hair looked at me and in an in an excellent Keanu Reeves voice, said "Welcome Jake! I'm Anthony." He extended a hand towards his friends. "This is Lucas" A tall thin guy with short dark hair and a permanently content facial expression. "And this is Rick" A shorter guy who was probably a wrestler in high school, strong build and a touch of cauliflower-swelling in his ear.
"Good to meet you. Anthony, I hate to sound like I had an agenda when coming over here, but I couldn't help but notice you guys taking a hit of Ex."
Rick laughed and Anthony held back a smile. "No, man, Ecstasy is a waste of time."
I felt insulted and was about to defend it when Anthony pulled a little tin from his pocket and opened it up to reveal a bunch of little blue pills.
"These are Three-Bees. One hit of this makes Ecstasy seem like a Flintstone Vitamin."
I couldn't help but smile, "How much for one?"
"Don't be ridiculous Jake, it's on me." Anthony said, picking a pill out and placing it on my hand. "Enjoy."
I down the pill, close my eyes, and wait.
And wait.
And wait.
I don't feel anything. I slowly opened my eyes and saw everything tinted slightly blue. Then it coursed through my body and I felt everything. I stood silently for what felt like a long time. Thoughts formed and connections were made. I took my first breath. "It's like I'm the pen, and my future is the ink that exploded out the back!"
The three guys laughed at me and Anthony slaps a hand on my back. "I can already tell that you're going to be a lot of fun to hang out with."
The rest of the night was a blue-tinted haze, but it was the perfect kind of haze where everything was ideal. I was on cloud nine.
I wake up in the hallway outside my dorm. He wasn't kidding when he said that pill was strong. Just one was enough to last me for the night.
I stand up and lean against the wall until I get to my door. After a couple minutes of struggling with the lock, I make it inside and lie down on my bed. I roll over and feel papers crinkle in my pocket. I must have picked up the mail last night.
I'm just about to drift off to sleep when my pocket starts buzzing. I pull my phone out, quickly hit answer and bring to my ear. "Hello?"
Nothing there.
"Hello?"
There's still nothing. I pull my phone down to check the ID. It was a text message from Jessica, not a call. She says she wants to meet me at the coffee shop we went to on our first date.
I stand up from my bed and change into a hoodie and a clean pair of jeans. While changing things from my dirty pants pockets to these, I find a small tin with at least a dozen Three-Dees in it. Anthony is a hell of a guy.
A few minutes of walking and a few minutes of stumbling later, I enter the coffee shop and see Jessica sitting at a table near the corner.
I order a black coffee and make my way to her. "Morning hon." I lean down to kiss her and she turns so my lips hit her cheek. She's never done that before.
I sit across from her, "Did you have a good time last night?"
She gives me a look that could burn a hole through cinder. "What do YOU think?"
Shit. "What happened?"
"Like you don't know."
Why do girls do that? Why would I ask if I knew? I stare back at her, more timid than I've ever been.
She rolls her eyes before shouting. "You had your tongue down two different girls' throats last night!"
Oh shit.
"And that was only BEFORE I left."
"I'm so sorry Jessica. I promise it will never happen again."
"You're right Jake; it won't, because we're over." She stands up.
"No, no, don't go, I promise Jessica!" She walks to the door. "I love you!" She doesn't even flinch as she pushes the door open and walks out.
My coffee arrives just as the love of my life leaves. I don't think that's going to cut it as a replacement. I stand up without touching the drink and head straight back to my room.
My chest is pounding as I grab the tin Anthony gave me last night and pop a Three-Dee into my mouth. My heart slows and I wait for the calm to hit me. The room slowly tints blue but there's no relief. I swallow another pill and wait. It's not as strong as last night but I can feel the buzz now. It'll be enough to get me through this. The blue tint brightens as I sit down on the bed.
Papers crinkle again but I don't know where they are. I think of the mail from earlier and grab the top letter that I'm sitting on. I have to concentrate to read the dark ink over the blue tint.
"Joliet Correctional Facility?"
Dear Jake,
My name is Randy Archer; I'm a guard at the Joliet Prison. I met your Uncle Ernie about six years ago when he was arrested for manslaughter. Unfortunately, the person killed was the daughter of an FBI agent with some pull. Most of the guards here believe the death was an accident but the Feds aren't the forgiving type. There's no easy way to say this. Your uncle was given the lethal injection last night. I'm deeply sorry. I'm writing because your uncle asked me to tell you he's sorry for everything.
-Randall Archer
Uncle Ernie is dead?
I take another hit.
Why is this bothering me so much? I haven't heard from him since I was a kid.
When he used to do magic tricks for me. Danny and my parents too. I loved all of that so much. My fifth birthday was perfect. Everything was perfect back then.
But it's gone now. Ernie is gone.
I hold another hit in my hand and stare at it. I need this. I swallow the pill and leave the tin open. The tint is bright now and I feel... different. But there's no connection like before. I should probably take the rest of them. They'll help me connect to what things were like when I was a kid. Then I'll be ok.
I pour the last of the blue pills into my hand. I'm going to need something to drink with this.
I stumble to the fridge and open it up. I swallow the pills and grab a beer. I drink it away and crawl to my bed. I lie back. The bright blue tint engulfs my surroundings. The calming feeling takes over my body like I've never felt before. Everything melts away and I feel my eyelids being pulled shut by sleep. I fight to keep them open but soon fade into the bright blue bliss.
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Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:26:53 EDT (#)
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