"Vote!...Vote!...Are you votin' yet?!" (613 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.13 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by a_little_more_time (View user info) at 2006-11-07 13:54:48 EST
If you don't vote today, you're probably better off packing up your shit and hauling out of the country tonight, because I'll be coming for you.
Dire emergencies aside, there is no good reason why everyone in this nation can't take an hour out of their day to go out and help decide our course for the next two years. I'm writing this at noon, and I've already heard enough weak excuses from others my age to make me physically ill.
"I just don't have time today."
Really? Did you perhaps completely miss the multimedia blitz your local representatives dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars (contributed by schmucks like you, by the way) to fund? Did you not notice the fact that it's marked on your fucking calendar? Maybe you missed all the signs on the side of the road as you mindlessly drove back and forth to work for the last month? Or, perhaps most likely of all, you DIDN'T miss any of these things and you either simply lack the simple foresight to be able to plan ahead or sleeping for an extra hour or watching the Today Goddamn Show was just more important to you.
Kiss my ass. The polls opened at 7 AM and they stay open until 8 PM. If your daily schedule regularly keeps you busy during that entire timeframe, you should've had at least enough intelligence to do one of the following:
a) let your boss know the week before that you were going to be an hour late today.
b) gotten up earlier and gotten your shit together.
c) stop masturbating so goddamn much.
or, best yet...
d) apply for and fill out a fucking absentee ballot, you junkslut.
Actually, you know what? Now that I think about it, if you completely forgot that today was election day or you just had too many other, more important priorities, it's probably for the best that you're not voting today, because you're probably too fucking ignorant to make an informed choice anyway. Just close Ubersite, turn off your computer, get back on the couch, and let Jerry Springer and Maury Povich liquify what remains of your frontal lobe. Then die.
"What's the point? One person's vote won't make any difference."
I hate to get preachy or cliched here, but I really did hear this one today (at an institute of higher learning, no less), so I suppose some of you jerkoffs still need to hear this: every vote counts, cunts. Goodness knows I'm not terribly touchy-feely, but every PERSON counts, period, provided they ACT. If one person didn't count, we wouldn't have most of the cool shit you and I enjoy every day. If one person didn't count, there wouldn't be peanut butter to spread on my nuts so my dog can lick it off. One vote can decide an issue or get a dude in office either way; common fucking sense dictates such, and if you're not using that, then just go ahead and wander out into noonday traffic.
"I'm not voting, period. They're all crooks either way!"
Some mouth-breathing Cro-Magnon douchebag spouted this one when one of my buddies asked him. Is that right, Flintstone? Well, if the leaders of this country are all crooks (and, have no illusions, some of them are), then what the fuck does that say about you, a person who is, essentially, laying right down and letting them ghey sex you up left and right? If you don't like the fact that those in power are leading you down a blind alley, then you really only have two methods of recourse available.
1. Vote them the fuck out of office.
2. Waste the bastards.
Yes, the latter does sound tempting to me at times, but I, like most people, prefer to just let the universe sort itself out by purging those fucks. And another thing: if you're so damn insightful and clever that you can see right to the black, pulsating heart of our political system and decide to not participate (as though doing so would sully your hands or spirit), and you don't like the way things are, then run for fucking office yourself. If you can recognize things as they are and you hate it, then change the system from the inside. If you can do such a bang-up job, then act like you got a pair, get up on a platform, and convince people to vote for YOU.
"I'm an anarchist. Voting would constitute recognizing a system of government that I am fundamentally against."
Sorry! No matter how you dress up your bullshit with fancy words or concepts, all you're really saying is, "If you don't play the way I want, then I'm just gonna take my ball and go home!" Well, I'm sorry to say this, Ms. Fuckscrew, but that shit didn't fly in the elementary schoolyard, so it sure as hell ain't gonna fly here and now. You don't get to push for radical change if you're not willing to go about making it happen; that makes you what we grown-ups call a "hypocrite". It's a simple concept, one that I already enumerated above: if you don't like the path we're on, you need to be willing to work within the confines of the system to change it. Despite what much of our recent cultural intolerance has indicated, it is very possible to alter things here, and it begins with you, voters and fuckheads alike. Simply shutting your eyes, plugging your ears and shouting, "It shouldn't be this way!" won't change a single thing. Deal with it.
So for fuck's sake, if you haven't done so already, go the hell out and vote today. I don't give a shit how you do it or who or what you vote for. Vote Vader for Sith Lord for all I care. Just make your voice heard and realize that it fucking counts for something. You've got a powerful resource at your hands as a citizen; use it.
User Reviews
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-11-08 10:49:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen!
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-11-08 07:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nope but that's the way things are
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:19:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, I hear what your saying and all but its a hell of a lot easier to sit here and complain about the government, and I am fond of taking the easy road.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-11-07 22:58:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i voted for poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-07 20:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stop preaching
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:41:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:20:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Move to Australia, Saccy. If you mind out for the poisonous bits it's lovely.
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Can I live in your hair?
-------
Ahahaha. I don't have the long hair anymore.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:41:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:20:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Move to Australia, Saccy. If you mind out for the poisonous bits it's lovely.
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Can I live in your hair?
__________
*insert Freudian comment*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've voted in every national, state, and local election for the last ~36 years,longer
than many of you have been alive. I try to stay informed on the issues and the
dipshi... er..ah.. stances of those running, but if I don't know what the fuck I think is
going on, I leave that one blank.
My wife is disabled, so we got her an absentee ballot. Voting is a right, but not exercising
it is a right as well.
Someone said all politicians are crooks, and that may be true.
Vote for the best looking crook. Bwahahahahahah!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:20:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Move to Australia, Saccy. If you mind out for the poisonous bits it's lovely.
===
Can I live in your hair?
Submitted by jraines (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job.
I voted last week.
GO KINKY!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Move to Australia, Saccy. If you mind out for the poisonous bits it's lovely.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 19:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There. I voted.
Done and done.
If Rick Santorum is reelected, someone outside of PA please take me in.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:24:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
NO.
First, and most important: I am not a US citizen.
(Voting is mandatory in Australia, where I live).
However, the other significant thing you've ignored here (which is not a reason not to vote, mind) is that the system itself actually abuses democracy on so many levels:
Therefore I disagree with changing the system from the inside.
That said, any person or group must be willing to work within the confines of the system until such time as they are in a position to change it.
No +2 for you.
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Note 1: Since I don't think you've ever reviewed any of my stuff before, you may not know me, so I'll be civil about this: I don't write anything for ratings. I honestly don't care what people rate me; I just like starting coversation.
Note 2: How does the "system" (definition please? the US government, or the global system, or what?) abuse democracy? You give no examples/evidence.
Note 3: If the system you speak of abuses democracy, and if that system is the democratic US government, then the system abuses itself. A self-destructive system cannot run. If that's the case, I guess terrorism is our only hope.
Note 4: Yes, certain elections have served to make conditions in this country, arguably, less democratic, but remember, it was the people who went out and voted who got their way. That's how it always goes.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I voted.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
NO.
First, and most important: I am not a US citizen.
(Voting is mandatory in Australia, where I live).
However, the other significant thing you've ignored here (which is not a reason not to vote, mind) is that the system itself actually abuses democracy on so many levels:
Therefore I disagree with changing the system from the inside.
That said, any person or group must be willing to work within the confines of the system until such time as they are in a position to change it.
No +2 for you.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-11-07 17:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Simply shutting your eyes, plugging your ears and shouting, "It shouldn't be this way!"
This image will be in my head, making me laugh, for weeks to come. High five.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-11-07 16:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if you stupid cunts fuck this up again i will personally fly over and slap every mother fucking one of you
Submitted by rennfahrer (user info) at 2006-11-07 16:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad all of the candidates offered suck...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-07 16:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
just vote NO on everything
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-11-07 15:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i say the less people who vote, the more the votes of the people who do will count.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-11-07 15:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-11-07 15:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:42:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not allowed to vote.
i'm a nigger
:(
=================================
GOLD
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not allowed to vote.
i'm a nigger
:(
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO RESPONSIBLE CITIZENRY WOO!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
c) stop masturbating so goddamn much.
NEVER!!!!!!!
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a good reason... It's too late to get an absentee ballot!
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:19:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:14:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:10:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm voting after work, but it is stupid to vote just to vote. I'm not sure I know enough about these yo-yo's running for office to make a good informed decision. I don't want to just vote for a particular party because that is stupid.
My point is, does it really do good to vote for the sake of voting even though you may be voting for the wrong guy??
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No, it really doesn't do good to do that. Our country depends on informed choices, but notice once again that I didn't attack that position.
My advice? Spend the rest of the day with Uber minimized and researching at least your local reps that are running.
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In a perfect world that would work out great. But unfortunately, you cannot believe everything you read. Everyone wants you to think the other is complete scum. At least half of the campaign is trashing the others and the little amount left talks about issues. But unfortunately, you cannot completely trust what they say ther stance is. They just want to be elected.
I cannot believe everything I read and am therefore in the same boat. Blindly voting because it is my "duty"
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:17:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:10:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:06:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is wrong with 'I don't want to vote?'
People's choice ain't it?
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Yes, it is absolutely the peoples' choice to vote or not; to deny them would be to deny an important civil liberty. However, note that the overall aim wasn't necessarily "Not voting is stupid, stupid!" and was more "The reasons college-age people I spoke with today overwhelmingly gave these dumbfuck reasons for not doing so". "I don't want to" is kinda unsubstantiated as I see it, but it's more valid than the ones I provided. That's why I didn't attack that position.
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Righto then. That is fair enough.
I won't be voting because I'm English and it's a bit far to come. I hope that counts also.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:10:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm voting after work, but it is stupid to vote just to vote. I'm not sure I know enough about these yo-yo's running for office to make a good informed decision. I don't want to just vote for a particular party because that is stupid.
My point is, does it really do good to vote for the sake of voting even though you may be voting for the wrong guy??
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No, it really doesn't do good to do that. Our country depends on informed choices, but notice once again that I didn't attack that position.
My advice? Spend the rest of the day with Uber minimized and researching at least your local reps that are running.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:13:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woo hoo, Im going to vote right after work. Its the one good thing left in this country anyways.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:06:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is wrong with 'I don't want to vote?'
People's choice ain't it?
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Yes, it is absolutely the peoples' choice to vote or not; to deny them would be to deny an important civil liberty. However, note that the overall aim wasn't necessarily "Not voting is stupid, stupid!" and was more "The reasons college-age people I spoke with today overwhelmingly gave these dumbfuck reasons for not doing so". "I don't want to" is kinda unsubstantiated as I see it, but it's more valid than the ones I provided. That's why I didn't attack that position.
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm voting after work, but it is stupid to vote just to vote. I'm not sure I know enough about these yo-yo's running for office to make a good informed decision. I don't want to just vote for a particular party because that is stupid.
My point is, does it really do good to vote for the sake of voting even though you may be voting for the wrong guy??
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 13:56:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with your general principle, but you'd do more good if you were out driving old or disabled people to the polls instead of writing this post, you know?
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Fuck that old and disabled people know they are going to need a mail in ballot. If they waited until the last minute they probably didn't pay attention ti the campaigns anyway.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is wrong with 'I don't want to vote?'
People's choice ain't it?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes!
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-11-07 14:01:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 13:56:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with your general principle, but you'd do more good if you were out driving old or disabled people to the polls instead of writing this post, you know?
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Agree, agree. Though, in all truth, I've spent the entire day thus far (apart from voting, of course), accompanying a disabled person to and around his college classes.
P.S.: He voted, too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-07 13:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with your general principle, but you'd do more good if you were out driving old or disabled people to the polls instead of writing this post, you know?