I hate nerds (plus halloween camwhore) (1322 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.1 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2006-11-08 04:12:42 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95423
There are two kinds of uberers. There are those who can take it or leave it, and there are morons.
In my view, there are lots and lots of morons.
The morons argue about the size of their dicks and insist others post camwhores of their vaginas.
And the guys are even worse.
The morons pretend to know about love and life and death and hookers and gambling and drugs and pussy and everything else when they are really only experts on wanking to porn, spending their parents' money and stealing music downloads.
These are the kinds of uberers who don't think twice about acting tough on the internet but sing a different tune when you meet them in person.
This happened to me last night.
It was late and I couldn't sleep, so I went down to the cyber cafe and browsed around.
Sometimes I like to look over the shoulders of nerds to see if anyone is on uber. If I see they are, I check their screen name and rent a station nearby. Somewhere I can see their tough guy face.
I sign on and search around until I see a recent review, and I engage them.
It doesn't take much to start an argument on uber, as you all know, but it is also surprisingly easy to goad someone into making a physical threat.
Last night, an uberer, who shall remain nameless, threatened to "kick my ass" if I didn't "stfu!"
This pimply loser was typing furiously, and looked genuinely angry.
I should say at this point, if I can obviously see that the nerd is having fun, I don't fuck with him.
But if I see he's a little too serious, then I figure one of us should be enjoying ourselves, so I try and have a little fun.
Anyway, as I'm sure you've guessed, last night I got the kid to boldly say that he would beat my ass if he ever ran into me.
I said that would be fine, if he's ever in my city, which I named, to look me up.
When I said that, the kid actually looked over his shoulder, which I thought was a neat bit of ignorant foreshadowing. It's a big city, and the nerd actually looked over his shoulder!
Then I said as a matter of fact, if he was ever on the west side, he'd better watch his step.
The kid didn't answer me after that, didn't type or use the mouse, but just watched the screen in silence.
In rapid succession, I pumped out more reviews:
If you're ever on the street where the cyber cafe is, come find me.
I'm usually at this particular cyber cafe, on Tuesday nights, at this time.
All the color drained out of the kid's face, which wasn't much, because he's a nerd.
He jumped up, yanking the headphones out of the computer. It was probably Britney Spears, but those stations have no external speakers so I can't be sure.
He looked around the place frantically. I smiled at him, and pretended to go back to my computer.
The kid flew out the front door, the attendant yelling after him.
I jumped up and went out the rear door. The parking lot is around back, and you're not supposed to go through the employee area, but when you are purposeful and calm, people don't generally fuck with you.
I waited in a dark area until I saw him round the corner, and while he fiddled nervously with his keys, I put my hand on his shoulder.
The kid let out a high pitched squeal the likes I haven't heard since Bubba2341 raped jgreening in Deliverance, and turned around in horror.
I smiled and said easy, buddy. I just wanted to say you still have the headphones on.
And then he shit his pants.
Seriously.
I would've thought he would crap his pants in fear, but this was a shit of relief.
It was loud and the smell was immediate. No way was it a fart.
He handed me the headphones, not even embarrassed. Why should he care when his mom does the laundry?
I thanked him and put out my hand to shake.
He shook my hand, and told me his name.
I held his skinny little hand a little too long, until he really looked into my eyes.
I'm HotWillie, I said.
I can't tell you his name, but if one of your buddies doesn't review for awhile, you'll know why.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and again but at least you figured out how to use pictures.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 15:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did NOT rape Jay Peg. He wanted it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-01-05 14:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
MINUS TWO
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-05 14:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even better with Cam-whored goodness.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-05 13:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who brought this shitpile back?
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-05 13:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-08 21:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-08 20:25:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:22:15 (#)
Ranking: -1
Ahahahaha.... you spent your evening in a cyber cafe and called someone else a nerd? You're a funny guy.
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Ja, I'm pretty sure that was the joke.
=========================================
Ha ha ha. I don't actually hate nerds, whatever they are, and I certainly don't go to cyber cafes and look for uber people, whatever they are.
This is just a stupid story to allow people the chance to vent their anger towards me for my honest ratings, which anger some posters, apparently.
It was going to be a response to a post (linked above) titled "I hate niggers," that ended with a picture of a muscular black man. Mine was going to be "I hate crackers," and end with a picture of a muscular white man, but somehow it morphed into nerds and a camwhore.
I enjoyed all the negative comments, though.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-08 20:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:22:15 (#)
Ranking: -1
Ahahahaha.... you spent your evening in a cyber cafe and called someone else a nerd? You're a funny guy.
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Ja, I'm pretty sure that was the joke.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-08 20:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I loved you in those Slim Jim commercials.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-08 20:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-11-08 13:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Really funny...+2...posted twice...-1...posted three times -1....first post....-2 just keep in mind this...if the file you are attaching isn't in JPEG format it won't show up. Just for future reference.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-08 12:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-08 12:49:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you're a total unfunny asshole but this was quality fiction.
Because it's obvious, you couldn't beat your own meat.
But I liked this.
WAIT A SECOND. It took you THREE tries to post this?
Yer a jeaneeass.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-08 12:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There are two kinds of uberers. There are those who can take it or leave it, and there are morons.
---
You are DEFINATELY in the moron category.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-11-08 12:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Ahahahaha.... you spent your evening in a cyber cafe and called someone else a nerd? You're a funny guy.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
crumple him to death!
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh. Not really very funny.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu or i'll kick your ass
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-11-08 10:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
thats kinda funny
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-08 10:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mindless diversion. The meaning of Uber.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The watch completes the costume.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:06:10 (#)
Ranking: -1
meh.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is your Halloween costume KISS meets South Pacific Islander?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should consider wearing that make-up and mask 24/7 because it's obviously an improvement.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-08 09:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2006-11-08 08:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't I see you on a Gilligans Island episode?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-11-08 08:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why?
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-11-08 08:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-08 07:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 re-rate because I just showed that picture to a female colleague, and she sprayed black coffee out of her nose and all down her white blouse, which is the funniest thing I've seen in ages. All the laughing and pointing at the stupid cow was solid gold.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-08 07:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2006-11-08 06:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2CRUMPLE
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-11-08 05:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU HAD BEST UN-FUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!!!!!!!
Best movie evar
good post
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-08 05:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nerds hate you.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-08 05:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:33:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yep, theres some real douches out there.......
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:30:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Was this supposed to be ironic? In any case we've heard it all before.
=============================
You are both correct, in rating and in fact.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-08 05:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, neither do I. I work on a computer and at least two of my hobbies involve them and I can't use them for shit.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-08 05:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stagger, I don't know how to work a computer very well. I had to run back down to the cyber cafe and grab a nerd to help me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to go from no posts to 3 in 10 minutes or whatever.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more roids
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yep, theres some real douches out there.......
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-08 04:30:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was this supposed to be ironic? In any case we've heard it all before.