A little diddy I cooked up... (346 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by dave benson <misterkick.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-11-10 23:30:32 EST
The sun was shining. The sky was clear. The pastures were green, and the trees swayed wistfully in the wind. Two men stood poised for battle.
"Father," said the younger one, both hands firmly tied to the hilt of his broadsword. His voice was disturbingly calm, given the intensity and the anticipation.
"What is it?" replied his father, with the same uneasy calmness.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, the other spake, "I am unsure."
A gust of wind tore through the air between them, but they were left unmoved. Raising his voice above nature's level, the father shouted, "Do not be. This is as it would be. Fate has put us together, it has found us opposed." Planting his front foot firmly in the ground, he stepped forward to cover the feet between them and swung his fist with the momentum of that step.
His son leaned out of the reach of this attack, dodging it in a rather non-dramatic fashion. Taking a cue from his father, he charged forward with his shoulder before him, and struck him with such force that he was forced to regain his balance. Spinning to utilize the momentum of this movement, the son swung downward across the elder's chest, or the air that was previously occupied by that chest, as his father had moved in a lightning-quick burst of speed to the son's right side.
"You're faster than that, Hender. Why are you holding back?" he asked, before swinging a roundhouse kick into the jaw of his son. Thrown asunder by the enormous strength behind this blow, Hender rolled with it and then recaptured his balance.
Hender wiped his jaw clean of the blood and saliva that had escaped it. "You are a fool. I will not fight you, father. This is nonsense." He approached his dropped blade, lifted it from the ground, and slid it into its scabbard.
Footsteps to his left drew his attention. A pale-skinned woman stood outlined against the setting sun. Hender wasn't sure of her identity, but his father soon confirmed it. "Your mother has come to save you, it appears," taunted he.
Those spindly fingers to which Hender belonged reassured their grip on his weapon. "You are not my mother, demon. I will not be fooled." As her form blotted out more of the sun, he could clearly see the signs of witchery: a bizarre glyph was carved into the dead flesh of her forehead and her eye sockets were liberated of their contents. She had become a classic example of the ritual of ressurection, as performed by the few powerful witches of that time and place.
Stopping, she cackled twistedly. Reanimated corpses were bound to a single vocalization, as ghosts often repeat their actions over and over again. The memory of dead ones is limited to such things.
Captured aghast by the vision before him, Hender leapt at his father's laugh, which was brief. "You are the fool here, not I, Hender, for would fools be granted the ability to play God? Would fools be able to bring back their loved ones from the bindings of death?" As he closed his second question, his voice raised to a shout, and storm clouds appeared to suddenly fill the skies of dying light over their heads.
Furious, Hender shouted in response, "You did this? You performed this monstrosity?!" As if the gods themselves were disapproving of their actions, the skies split in a great thunderbolt that scarred the earth between them. The sound was deafening, but none of the three parties present stirred.
There were a few silent seconds, before Hender's father responded. "Monstrosity?! Was she not dead? Are you not happy to see your beloved mother once more, Hender?!" Another cackle sounded from the walking corpse. "She sure is happy to see you, Hender!"
Hell broke loose. The winds kicked up to high speeds, causing horizontal rain to spill onto the three figures. Lightning fell rapidly, igniting the earth. Lifting his sword high, Hender shouted, somehow breaking above the volume of God's wrath. "Those words will be your last!"
He charged against the wind, almost feeling as if he were flying. It took him a mere second to reach his grinning father, where he brought the weapon down with such force as to rend his father's shoulder and slice directly into his heart. Hender's eyes stared into the eyes of deceit right before him, as his father's face contorted into a painful and pale shape, and he spoke. "It has been determined before this moment, just as all your actions have. You were supposed to kill me, but this moment will help you remember that free will is not an illusion." The air seemed to quiet around them, although the grey slabs still hung above. "Let this be your last move guided by those in control, Hender. You alone have knowledge of this. Change this world." And then he died.
The standing corpse adjacent to them fell limply to the ground, its life force diminishing as its caster had. Confused, covered in blood and rain, and tired, Hender ripped the sword free of his father's flesh and turned away. These brief words had been the only directions his father had ever given him, and yet, he knew not what to do with them. Everything inside of him hated his father, but he also knew that those last monotone words had meant something. Slowly, he began to walk, and his true journey began.
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I don't know where I was going with this, I just wrote on a whim. Excuse any typos, and ehh, let me know what you think!
User Reviews
Submitted by Zampolit (user info) at 2006-11-13 11:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I recommend having a look at The Elements of Style: http://www.bartleby.com/141/
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-11 08:54:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is worse than seeing Allyson's so-called (photoshopped) tits...
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-11 08:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen worse.
Submitted by Zampolit (user info) at 2006-11-11 07:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
On god no. Please go away and get better.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2006-11-11 06:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nah did not read so go fuck off
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-11-11 04:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you put some effort into this, but your word choices are...well, not word choices that I would personally use...like 'her eye sockets had been liberated of their contents' and the words 'spake' and 'asunder'. The word 'spake' sucks. A lot.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-11 02:57:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
finally managed to read it without my brain exploding, all I can say is
huh?
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-11-11 02:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
read it.
but then again, i'm drunk.
SHUT UP ALLYSON SHUT UP.
damn me.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-11-11 02:29:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i did read it btw
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-11-11 02:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-11 00:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
didnt bother to read it, the clump of words just berrated my eyes
your other post was more broken up... what happened here?
ida -2'd ya but your obvously new.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-11 00:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PARAGRAPHS! FOR THE LOVE OF JEEBUS! PARAGRAPHS!
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-11-11 00:05:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The term is "ditty", and it refers to a song, not a story.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-10 23:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
10 reviews yet?
No?
Damn.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-10 23:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think... AIDS.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-10 23:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know where I was going with this, I just wrote on a whim. Excuse any typos, and ehh, let me know what you think!
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-11-10 23:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think I'll go visit another website.