The War of All Wars. (Pt. 1) (434 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: The_War_of_all_Wars
Rating: 1.42 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by http://www.nowthatshumor.com (View user info) at 2006-11-12 12:35:54 EST
The bombs go off in the distant, the air is filled with the foul sent of discharged gun power & rotting comrades. The war as gone on now for over 10 years, the fighting seems to get more intense as the days go on, but the wars end seems to drift farther and farther away. I've been on the front lines for over 3 weeks now, and my shell shocked mind seems to wonder off more and more.....
It has been almost 100 years since the great nuclear war between the top nations, now the once 3rd world countries are the super powers. The nuclear war of 2052 was to end all wars. They were wrong, even after thousands of nuclear weapons were deployed world wide mankind has still found the will to survive in this waste land we once called earth, cursed earth is more fitting now.
Only 10% of the earth is still inhabitable by humans, so you can imagine how fast wars broke out over habitable land. Maybe it is a miracle that no nations left has nuclear weapons to deploy, or maybe it isn't. We should of just finished off mankind back during the great nuclear war, then let nature take its turn to restart, give the earth another million years to generate a species that would care for her, not exploit her.
Enough rambling, the sound of the bugle in the distant is a fearful sound. They are preparing to do another push. Hundreds of men are going to attempt to take a simple 100 yards of wasted rotten land, littered with dead bodies, shell holes and tons of other debris. I'm sure only a few of us will survive, and we'll probably lose the land we gained by the rise of the new sun. This though is the will of the generals; they demand to keep pushing and to break the enemy at all costs. What is left to break? We've all already suffered worse than anyone could imagine. Horrible rations, foul water that smells something awful, blood stained cloths are all there is to wear from dead friends and comrades.
I still don't know why I continue, life is no longer a pleasure, more of a fight to survive. I'd rather not be one of the ones stuck in a trench forced to eat my fallen comrades when we are under siege, but it has already happened. My shame runs deep from this, I have nightmares one couldn't understand. My mind is hell, I can no longer think straight. Perhaps that is part of the training, they want to break our minds, and they want us to lose hope and fight without conviction.
Well, time to line up with my comrades; we must take their closest positions to setup our artillery to hit a base not to far from us. Maybe we if we take this base we can get a stronghold and keep moving forward, though I doubt it. We line up along the farthest trench walls, waiting for the signal, the signal for us to run to our deaths. I would say a prayer, but I know in my mind there is no god that would allow this to happen. The enemy knows were are coming, they begin heavy bombardments a few yards in front of our farthest reaching trench and lay heavy suppressed machine gun fire. The whistle sounds... to war we go.
User Reviews
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:20:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The story is engaging but the 3rd grade level spelling and grammar is not.
In your first paragraph alone look at the errors. It's like you're pounding on your keyboard in a drunken rage and just hoping the right sequence of letters comes out by chance.
The bombs go off in the distant [DISTANCE], the air is filled with the foul sent [SCENT] of discharged gun power [POWDER] & [AND] rotting comrades. The war as [HAS] gone on now for over 10 years, the fighting seems to get more intense as the days go on, but the wars end seems to drift farther and farther away. I've been on the front lines for over 3 weeks now, and my shell shocked mind seems to wonder [WANDER] off more and more.....
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-11-12 18:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-11-12 15:38:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't terrible. But why would there be infantry if it was a nuclear war? The style reminds me of the bit when Morpheus describes the Human vs. Robot battle in the Matrix, coupled with Remarque's descriptions of WWI, well done.
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I noted in part one that it has been almost 100 years since the nuclear war, I figured that would be enough time for armies to regroup, i maybe should of made it longer. Trust me I have great ideas for the next parts to come. Stay Tuned!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-11-12 15:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't terrible. But why would there be infantry if it was a nuclear war? The style reminds me of the bit when Morpheus describes the Human vs. Robot battle in the Matrix, coupled with Remarque's descriptions of WWI, well done.
Submitted by jimmiss (user info) at 2006-11-12 15:30:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-12 15:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-11-12 14:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I like you.
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-11-12 13:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-12 13:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Grammatical corrections are in parentheses. If it doesn't make sense, ask and I will explain...
***
The bombs go off in the distant (distance), the air is filled with the foul sent (scent) of discharged gun power & rotting comrades. The war as (has)gone on now for over 10 years, the fighting seems to get more intense as the days go on, but the wars (war's) end seems to drift farther and farther away. I've been on the front lines for over 3 weeks now, and my shell shocked mind seems to wonder off more and more.....
It has been almost 100 years since the great nuclear war between the top nations, now the once 3rd (-) world countries are the super powers. The nuclear war of 2052 was to end all wars. They were wrong, even after thousands of nuclear weapons were deployed world (-) wide (,) mankind has still found the will to survive in this waste land we once called e (E)arth, cursed e (E)arth is more fitting now.
Only 10% of the e (E)arth is still inhabitable by humans, so you can imagine how fast wars broke out over habitable (the once habitable) land (s). Maybe it is a miracle that no nations (nation) left has nuclear weapons to deploy, or maybe it isn't. We should of (have) just finished off mankind back during the great nuclear war, then let nature take its turn to restart, give the e (E)arth another million years to generate a species that would care for her, not exploit her.
Enough rambling, (;) the sound of the bugle in the distant (distance) is a fearful sound. They are preparing to do another push. Hundreds of men are going to attempt to take a simple 100 yards of wasted rotten land, littered with dead bodies, shell holes (,) and tons of other debris. I'm sure only a few of us will survive, and we'll probably lose the land we gained by the rise of the new sun. This (,) though (,) is the will of the generals; they demand to keep pushing and to break the enemy at all costs. What is left to break? We've all already suffered worse than anyone could imagine. Horrible rations, foul water that smells something awful, blood stained cloths (clothes) (,) are all there is to wear from dead friends and comrades.
I still don't know why I continue, (.) l (L)ife is no longer a pleasure, more of a fight to survive. I'd rather not be one of the ones stuck in a trench forced to eat my fallen comrades when we are under siege, but it has already happened. My shame runs deep from this, I have nightmares one couldn't (cannot) understand. My mind is hell, I can no longer think straight. Perhaps that is part of the training, (;) they want to break our minds, and they want us to lose hope and fight without conviction.
Well, time to line up with my comrades; (.) w (W)e must take their closest positions to setup our artillery to hit a base not to (too) far from us. Maybe we if we take this base we can get a stronghold and keep moving forward, though I doubt it. We line up along the farthest trench walls, waiting for the signal, the signal for us to run to our deaths. I would say a prayer, but I know in my mind there is no god that would allow this to happen. The enemy knows were (we) are coming, (.) t (T)hey begin heavy bombardments a few yards in front of our farthest reaching trench and lay heavy (,)suppressed machine gun fire. The whistle sounds... to war we go.
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Thank you, I must of read this first part over about 3 times, but i'm at work and trying to do many other things, I'll take my time with part 2, I appericate the help, some of the mistakes you pointed out make me feel really silly.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-12 13:30:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Grammatical corrections are in parentheses. If it doesn't make sense, ask and I will explain...
***
The bombs go off in the distant (distance), the air is filled with the foul sent (scent) of discharged gun power & rotting comrades. The war as (has)gone on now for over 10 years, the fighting seems to get more intense as the days go on, but the wars (war's) end seems to drift farther and farther away. I've been on the front lines for over 3 weeks now, and my shell shocked mind seems to wonder off more and more.....
It has been almost 100 years since the great nuclear war between the top nations, now the once 3rd (-) world countries are the super powers. The nuclear war of 2052 was to end all wars. They were wrong, even after thousands of nuclear weapons were deployed world (-) wide (,) mankind has still found the will to survive in this waste land we once called e (E)arth, cursed e (E)arth is more fitting now.
Only 10% of the e (E)arth is still inhabitable by humans, so you can imagine how fast wars broke out over habitable (the once habitable) land (s). Maybe it is a miracle that no nations (nation) left has nuclear weapons to deploy, or maybe it isn't. We should of (have) just finished off mankind back during the great nuclear war, then let nature take its turn to restart, give the e (E)arth another million years to generate a species that would care for her, not exploit her.
Enough rambling, (;) the sound of the bugle in the distant (distance) is a fearful sound. They are preparing to do another push. Hundreds of men are going to attempt to take a simple 100 yards of wasted rotten land, littered with dead bodies, shell holes (,) and tons of other debris. I'm sure only a few of us will survive, and we'll probably lose the land we gained by the rise of the new sun. This (,) though (,) is the will of the generals; they demand to keep pushing and to break the enemy at all costs. What is left to break? We've all already suffered worse than anyone could imagine. Horrible rations, foul water that smells something awful, blood stained cloths (clothes) (,) are all there is to wear from dead friends and comrades.
I still don't know why I continue, (.) l (L)ife is no longer a pleasure, more of a fight to survive. I'd rather not be one of the ones stuck in a trench forced to eat my fallen comrades when we are under siege, but it has already happened. My shame runs deep from this, I have nightmares one couldn't (cannot) understand. My mind is hell, I can no longer think straight. Perhaps that is part of the training, (;) they want to break our minds, and they want us to lose hope and fight without conviction.
Well, time to line up with my comrades; (.) w (W)e must take their closest positions to setup our artillery to hit a base not to (too) far from us. Maybe we if we take this base we can get a stronghold and keep moving forward, though I doubt it. We line up along the farthest trench walls, waiting for the signal, the signal for us to run to our deaths. I would say a prayer, but I know in my mind there is no god that would allow this to happen. The enemy knows were (we) are coming, (.) t (T)hey begin heavy bombardments a few yards in front of our farthest reaching trench and lay heavy (,)suppressed machine gun fire. The whistle sounds... to war we go.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-11-12 13:00:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-11-12 12:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is one of my first real attempts to make a story, I'm not to interested in the ratings but more into suggestions and comments if you don't mind. I'd like to hear ideas and things that I made have done wrong. Thanks you filthy animals.