I woke up with a syringe in my arm! (The true story of Me and Girl) (442 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -1.78 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HH (View user info) at 2006-11-14 23:35:38 EST
Rape is such an unbelievably good skill to acquire. Yes, I do call rape a skill, and even then I don't do it justice. It's more an art form. Should the dumb bitch die? Should I give her AIDS? Do I cum inside of her or just on her face? The questions are endless, and better yet, whichever way I happen to answer them lay a new fate that I've never dealt with. Perhaps this time I shall run from the cops, or maybe have to run away from some serious gangsters. Fuck, for all I know I might have to dodge some Ring Wraiths, fucken bastards always up on my ice.
Moving on, I see this bitch on the street, she gives me eye contact so I slap her and divulge my bulging meat pretzel and give her the helicopter. She screamed pleasure and I told her to fuck off. She wanted to blow me so I said okay, and we went behind a dumpster. The dumpster smelled like bukkake, but it added to the atmosphere and general mood, which was cozy and relaxed, which I liked.
Once I coated her with my seed, she said she wanted to buy me drinks, weed and cigarettes. I punched her on the shoulder, then drop kicked her in the face. She finally convinced me to let her buy me shit. I agreed. What a stupid whore.
I told her I had AIDS and she said she wanted it too. Good. After I told her to buy me some rock candy at the candy store she said that maybe we should hold hands. I kicked her in the crotch and vomited in her earlobe. If you've never vomited in anyone's earlobe, it's an interesting time. I gave her a leg drop and that was the end of that discussion.
All of the sudden we end up a shoot out between two gangs in downtown Detroit. Instead of protecting her I rush out into the street and start shooting everybody, woman and children included. The bitch tries to give me a hard time so I shoot her 6 times in the chest, and once in the crotch, to prove that I'm a fucken man and she only has a sissy vagina. After she's dead, I resurrect her, because I am a fucken champion.
After that she said she wanted to marry me, I laughed and kicked her in the neck. That taught her to open her mouth. I met Randy Savage and we both punched her in the face; then gave her flying elbows.
Moral of the story: Bitches that you have sex with usually have AIDS from me. Or that random ass guy with the huge monster black cock that they fucked was me.
Enjoy your work day.
Toodles~
User Reviews
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-11-16 20:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
misleading title, not to mention completely stupid content
diagnosis: little 16 year old fag
prescription: take the Korn tape out of the deck from your 88 Tempo, and throw it out the window
outcome: you are still pretty damn lame
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-11-16 20:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bart doesn't really rate except to -2 the shit.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-16 19:46:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shenanigans, you woke up with a penos in your ass.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-15 03:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I was only joking :(
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-11-15 01:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fucking name is hawthorne heights. Eat shit you fucking emo-freak.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-15 01:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Golly, Phallic. Not everyone gets to have a 1.5+ rating, K?
Suck a sock-covered-cock, wouldja?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:06:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't feel bad, dude. Bart RARELY doles out +2's.
I've got 200+ posts, and I have I wanna say 3.
______________
Jay means he has 3 +2s in total. Bart gave him 2 of those.
Submitted by jraines (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't feel bad, dude. Bart RARELY doles out +2's.
I've got 200+ posts, and I have I wanna say 3.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
F-
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:50:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
With a career ranking of 1.51, I've yet to get a "bart" review. Thanks dude. Appreciate it.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Upon further review, strangely random like Boshman.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Painful
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-11-14 23:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This rating is on the second paragraph alone.