I know in the grand scheme of things it's not too significant, but here it is anyways (489 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.65 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ampersand (View user info) at 2006-11-15 00:24:00 EST
This is a nonfiction, self-revelation sort of thing. It was written and posted for my own edification and is probably boring but every once and a while I like to get shit off my chest. Feel free to ignore it or -2 it with wild abandon. If you're feeling particularly perky, try a little of both.
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This first paragraph here is going to seem to be in no way connected to the following ones until the very end, but let me start things off by telling you about my coworker Albert. We both work in the library, we're in different departments but his office is near mine so he drops in to say hi semi-frequently. He's in his mid 30s I would guess, fairly skinny, neither handsome nor ugly and wears those stereotypical black-rimmed glasses. He's always cheerful and smiling and very happy, but it's the sort of omnipresent happy that screams façade. Either way, Albert is a pretty interesting guy. He's the sort of person who goes to art exhibits you didn't know were happening and concerts for bands you didn't know existed. He knows all the best indie record shops and all the best restaurants that the tourist guides don't know about. Unsurprisingly he himself is a painter. He paints houses but he also does oil/canvas paintings which he sells online and at art shows when he can. A lot of them are of cats; Albert really likes cats. Also, I'm pretty sure he's gay. It's not like I associate cats with homosexuality, but if you met him you'd be pretty sure he was gay too. Once this other guy who works with us, Chris, was talking about a car accident he got in; some guy t-boned him at an intersection. Albert happened to be walking by and though Chris said t-bagged; he seemed excited. So as I said, Albert is a pretty interesting guy. Anyways, we're about to make a big shift here so everyone buckle up (it's the law).
Everyday I get off class/work at 4pm. I put my headphones back in and walk to the little grocery store across from my dorm. There I buy a Powerbar Harvest, strawberry if they have it, and a Tropical Blend V8 Splash. This, more or less, is my dinner. It's not exactly the sort of dinner those food group pyramids would suggest, but it's the most significant meal I'll have after lunch so lets just call it dinner. After getting my powerbar and my V8 I walk to my room and check my email. Then I sit down on my bed and eat my 'dinner'. Then I get up off my bed, put on a t-shirt and black basketball shorts, I put my shoes (white Jordan XXIs, aka the hotness) in my backpack, my headphones back in my ears and I walk to the gym. By quarter of five, usually, there are enough people to get a full court game going and for the next two to three hours I am happy. I shout and scream and curse and laugh and joke and give high fives and even slap the occasional buttcheek.
Once all the lift has gone out of my legs I put my shoes and headphones back in their respective places and walk back home. At home I remove my clothes, hang them up, febreeze them and hit the shower. After the shower I brush my teeth, throw on my day clothes, return my headphones to my head and my books to my bookbag after which I walk to the library. At the library I read, write or whatever until my head hurts, which is starting to come earlier each night, and then I walk back home where I do nothing at all until about midnight and then I fall asleep. This is exactly how every day goes for me.
As you can see I do a lot of walking back and forth so I feel I should clarify exactly in what way I walk. First, I always, and entirely without regard to the weather, walk in my scuffed up, seven year old Nike sandals. No socks. Second I always walk with my headphones on. In explanation for that second point, I also always walk alone; thus the headphones. A young man has to have something to occupy his mind no? It's not possible to simply walk around entirely empty-headed is it? If it is, please tell me how: my thoughts are generally unpleasant little things and I would very much appreciate a way to be rid of them.
Actually, let me retrace my steps a little bit: there is a way to walk around empty, or very nearly empty-headed, and I make frequent use of it on weekends. If you are particularly dense, I am referring to my good friends alcohol and tetrahydrocannabinol. I got my fake ID from high school taken away two summers ago though, so mostly the latter. When I brought all that pot freshmen year I figured I'd be smoking it with all my crazy parties I'd be going to with all the crazy friends I'd be making. Failing that I figured I'd find a few other like-minded kids and we'd bake up each others dorm rooms all year while watching stupid movies. It hadn't occurred to me that I could also fail at that.
And then sophomore year (this year) I brought a lot of pot too because I had joined a frat that a few of my friends were starting (not a whole new frat mind you, just a new chapter of an existing one) so I figured we'd be having all sorts of crazy parties and such, just like I figured last year. As of right now, ~2/3 of the way through the semester, we have had exactly zero parties. The only time I smoke with other people, and the only time I have fun on weekends, is when my friend from high school throws a party at his townhouse at UMBC. And even when I go to his parties I don't fully party anyways. A few other guys I know from high school come as well and we play some beer pong and some dice/drinking games and stuff, but most of our time is spent in my friend's room getting stoned. It's still fun though, and I'm fairly certain the drugs are only a small part of the reason I'm on academic probation. The two finals I skipped last semester have a lot more to do with it I think. Plus that's a much easier reason to explain when you meet with your academic advisor. I don't think it would have gone over well if, when she asked me why I thought I was struggling, I told her it was because I smoke pot like it's my job.
Allow me to briefly shift gears once more. In high school I was happy, healthy and successful. I was a talented baseball player and one of the two top students of my class. I like to think I was *the* top student because the other kid worked his ass off to get the same grades I got by sleeping in class. And my SAT score was about 50 points higher (on the old scale, not the crazy new one). It's entirely irrelevant now as I haven't seen him since graduation and have no plans to change that, but it's still something I'll carry in the basement of my mind for many years I think. But don't take me for a complete dork (or is it too late for that?), I had quite a bit of fun in high school. I used drugs and alcohol back then as well, but not as frequently and almost exclusively in social contexts.
So at my high school graduation I and everyone else rightfully had very high expectations for my future. In fact it was all but a given that I would become a noble prize winning rocket scientist and cure cancer and put up a consistent .300/30/100 statline. But let's return now to Albert because he is what prompted this whole thing here. We were just randomly chatting yesterday instead of doing our work, and he was talking about when he was in college, and he referenced in passing something along the lines of "smoking those crazy cigarettes again". If the term 'crazy cigarettes' is ambiguous in print, it was perfectly clear in conversation and had absolutely nothing to do with tobacco. It occurred to me shortly thereafter that, at this point, Albert's life is a much more likely future for me then the life of a noble prize winner (alleged homosexuality aside) and, even though I like Albert, I'm pretty damn certain this is a bad thing.
User Reviews
Submitted by LisaD (user info) at 2007-05-18 13:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-26 10:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
's niiiice
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-11-17 22:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"To the poster, if the worry about ending up as an aged homosexual librarian doesn't scare you into smoking less and studying more then nothing any of us can say will."
That was the best comment in the history of ever.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-11-15 20:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:03:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
somehow, that's life.
doesn't matter what the program is, or the drug (or other distraction)
If you want it, you'll get it, if you don't, you get cats
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what if i want cats though?
AUTOMATIC WINNER
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i feel like what people think about my future is similar to what they thought about yours.
i always always wear sandals (flipflops, even in WI winter) and listen to music.
and then theres the weed...
good luck, man.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
somehow, that's life.
doesn't matter what the program is, or the drug (or other distraction)
If you want it, you'll get it, if you don't, you get cats.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it all depends on the person
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94112
Here is a +2 hopefully it will cheer you up in your lonly life of being a librarian. I am not sure what else you will do witht hat history degree.
People who settle inot that after bouncing out of engineering because they were high all the time normally don't rebound into a great job.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-11-15 01:06:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
It DOES take effort, but you can still be a total fucken druggie and pass. I'm living fucking proof. In two years I'll have a degree which is going to make me 55 bucks an hour.
I post on Uber when I'm drunk on Wednesday morning.
Trust me, just get the degree, then it's up to you to fucking WANT it.
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This guy will never get paid 55 bucks an hour.
To the poster, if the worry about ending up as an aged homosexual librarian doesn't scare you into smoking less and studying more then nothing any of us can say will.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, good ol'UMBC, College Park's red-headed step-child brother.
Life takes unexpected turns, but keep your head up. Sometimes not turning out the way everyone, including yourself, thought you would ends up being the best thing.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2006-11-15 01:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf im not reedingh all does tings
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-11-15 01:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good story but
Submitted by PrescriptionX (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:43:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't make me smile, nor is it "kicker of all ass" but it's a sight better than just "worth reading."
Fucking get to work.
I've learned one thing so far in Uni: it takes effort. I coasted through high school like nothing, did my drinking and smoking but got wicked grades too. University's different, the only people who succeed are the ones who really want something from it. Don't waste your time and (most likely your parents') money if it's not what you want to do. Go work full time for a year or two, smoke a hell of a lot of pot and maybe do it in another country for a while. Once you decide what you want to do then go back to university and take library sciences or whatever the hell else you decide.
Or don't, fucked if I care.
Now if you'll excuse me: I have a membrane biochem paper to write.
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It DOES take effort, but you can still be a total fucken druggie and pass. I'm living fucking proof. In two years I'll have a degree which is going to make me 55 bucks an hour.
I post on Uber when I'm drunk on Wednesday morning.
Trust me, just get the degree, then it's up to you to fucking WANT it.
Submitted by PrescriptionX (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gonna bring your rating up to 1.5 for use of a Postsecret post card.
Submitted by PrescriptionX (user info) at 2006-11-15 00:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't make me smile, nor is it "kicker of all ass" but it's a sight better than just "worth reading."
Fucking get to work.
I've learned one thing so far in Uni: it takes effort. I coasted through high school like nothing, did my drinking and smoking but got wicked grades too. University's different, the only people who succeed are the ones who really want something from it. Don't waste your time and (most likely your parents') money if it's not what you want to do. Go work full time for a year or two, smoke a hell of a lot of pot and maybe do it in another country for a while. Once you decide what you want to do then go back to university and take library sciences or whatever the hell else you decide.
Or don't, fucked if I care.
Now if you'll excuse me: I have a membrane biochem paper to write.