I've Been Blessed, But Sometimes Life Isn't Fair..... (2347 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.18 on 100 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TigerLilly (View user info) at 2006-11-15 04:16:05 EST
This year my parents will share their 36th Wedding Anniversary and as long as I can remember, my parents have been together, and for the most part, happily married. Sure there have been fights over the years and doors have certainly been slammed a time or two. Names have been called and I can certainly remember tears being shed. But there has never been a Thanksgiving or Christmas, birthday or any other holiday without both of my parents present. There was never a school vacation that had to be split between my mother and my father, nor was there ever a 'see you this weekend, I love you' conversation over the phone. Basically I grew up in what most would deem to be the quintessential "perfect" family.
Now I can certainly attest that there is no such thing as "perfect" or a perfect family and quite frankly that's another story entirely. But, my parent's, surprisingly enough are still together after all these years and never have I heard either one of them mention the divorce word. Not once.
But going back and thinking about college I had a friend whose parents split up. It didn't affect me and didn't affect the way I lived my life so quite honestly I really didn't pay any mind to it. And even when she would tell me her and her sister would be spending the day on Thanksgiving with their mother and night with their father, I still remember thinking to myself, 'well that's cool at least you can see both of them'.
Blame it on being naïve, or blame it on having the 'perfect' family. In any case I was too young fully understand what going through a divorce was really all about.
I guess you could say I was young and very ignorant.
Unfortunately it's taken me this long to fully grasp the whole divorce issue and what it means. I now realize what children of divorced parents go through and how extremely difficult it is for them to cope with. The "D" word is everywhere today. Whether in a magazine you read at the gym - how woman cope with "it" and moving on after divorce; or in your neighborhood grocery store overhearing someone talk about how "she' is going to get custody of "them".
Divorce is difficult, scary and sometimes unexplainable for the children that are involved.
They don't understand why mommy and daddy no longer love each other. They can't figure out why daddy has a girlfriend and mommy is living with someone that isn't their father or in some cases their mother. Whatever sexual preference, it's tough. It's tough on mom. It's tough on dad. But more importantly it's tough on the children involved and it's tough to explain to them that regardless of the situation they're still loved.
In my opinion the majority of adults going through divorce need to stop thinking about themselves, their battles, money, cars and their settlements and start thinking about the children that are involved. Of course I can't change the world but divorce should be about keeping the children in a stable environment that they can deal with while their parents try to work things out in their favor. Of course this isn't always the case.
Unfortunately, in today's day and age, 'nothing' is forever and divorce is sometimes unavoidable. But for the children involved and for their well being divorce should be less about the parent's disagreements and more about the parents trying to make better lives for their.
Children need lives that are filled with love and care, not anger and hatred. When children hear their mother and father calling each other names the way they sometimes do during divorce, it breaks their little souls. It takes something from them that can never be replaced. A small part of their innocence is taken and neither age nor time can make up for those moments.
It'll be 36 years this December that my parents have been married and I often times find myself wondering why they've made it this far, while so many other couples have failed. My life isn't perfect nor is my families. I have been lucky and I do count my blessings daily. Sure I've witnessed many fights and tears have been shed over the years but I am lucky to say I've never heard the 'D' word and I've never had to chose between parents.
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Andrew, Devon & Cody......I love you very much.
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-05-17 11:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-19 16:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the that Serina thing needs some basic lessons in English. I honestly didn't understand any of what she said.
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Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-19 16:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the that Serina thing needs some basic lessons in English. I honestly didn't understand any of what she said.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-19 15:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think he dumped serina/cheryl due to her agonizing lack of punctuation
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-19 15:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by serina (user info) at 2006-11-19 07:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
ah my dear you have not recognized the pattern yet first dawn makes the money and supports the family and she is crazy then i do and i am crazy and now you do and oops thats right then you will be the crazy one do not say you were not warned my heart is definitely whole and i was raised with good values but every once in awhile we all do things we regret the difference between the two of us is that i do not deliberately set out to hurt innocent children think about how he treated both families and know you will be the next victim anything else to say you know how to get in touch with me since you called here and pretended to be dawn when speaking to my son
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Oh sweetheart, I didn't call your house 'pretending' to be anyone other than myself. Otherwise I would've, perhaps, BLOCK MY FUCKING TELEPHONE NUMBER you ignoramus. I was polite to your child, as HE has nothing to do with any of this. I am nice and kind to ALL children regardless of the situation.
You were raised with good values?? Really? Wow. That's not what I heard. You still talk to your mother after all she did to you? C'mon now. Stop lying. You just look like a jackass. I've heard everything that went on out at Block. Or is Steve the one lying to me?
As far as who made the money and who did what in their relationship, it's in the past and I have no comment on that. And neither should you. It's none of your damn business anyway. Dawn and I have made our peace and both of them made poor choices in their relationship.
CASE CLOSED!!!!
Not one person is to blame for any of it. Not the kids, not Dawn and not Steven. It was a bad situation and everyone is better off now. EVERYONE!!!! Dawn is happy and we couldn't be happier for her. Steven and I are very happy and did you hear we're getting married??? So let me just tell you something there sweetheart, Steven, well he has changed his life around and is a different person now because unlike you, he wants to marry ME!! And besides I wouldn't date a leach, mooch, slug or any other flavorful name you might like to call him. I DO come from a wonderful, caring and loving family. We/I do nice things for the people that we/ I love. And I certainly would never turn around and play Indian giver should the relationship fail. Ya know what? I want to see that gun Steven pointed at your head as he TOLD you to buy things for him, as he told you to take him on vacations. You did it because you loved him and you wanted this fairy tale life together. Well guess what? Life isn't a fairy tale and now you have this little broken heart and you think HE owes you something in return for gifts you GAVE HIM while the two of you were together?? Grow up Cheryl!! How old are you? Oh that's right!! I forget you're in your 40's. One would think you'd be all grown's up now. But I guess your lack of punctuation would indicate you haven't.
So here is a little update for you since I know you keep coming back because your curiosity has gotten the best of you. Steven has a great job now because he's motivated to start a NEW life, a better life for us and his children. His relationship with Dawn is good. My relationship with Dawn is good and most importantly the children are very happy because they like Dawns man and they like their daddies girl. That must hurt too.
One of the biggest mistakes Steven ever made as I know he's certainly not perfect was rebounding with a nut ball like you. Once again, if you have problems with this situation take it up with Steven. If he cared for you, he wouldn't have falling in love with me. He's an amazing man and he adores me. We couldn't be happier. Stay tuned for wedding details. I know you will.
Submitted by serina (user info) at 2006-11-19 07:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ah my dear you have not recognized the pattern yet first dawn makes the money and supports the family and she is crazy then i do and i am crazy and now you do and oops thats right then you will be the crazy one do not say you were not warned my heart is definitely whole and i was raised with good values but every once in awhile we all do things we regret the difference between the two of us is that i do not deliberately set out to hurt innocent children think about how he treated both families and know you will be the next victim anything else to say you know how to get in touch with me since you called here and pretended to be dawn when speaking to my son
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-19 00:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Caul, you come back to read the comments I've left for you time and time again. Just profess your love and be gone.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-18 21:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 17:21:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
You make me laugh. You're more predictable than New England weather.
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why change my formula?
you are the one who needs to stop being so redundant in your bitching.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-18 09:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by serina (user info) at 2006-11-18 08:41:37 (#)
Ranking: -1
although some of your perspectives have merit i would think you could find a less public way of conveying your feelings to said parents it is hard for any child to experience the divorce of parents, the death of a parent , or the abondonment of someone that professed to love and care for them it is despicable that children lose their innocence so young due to the desinegration of our society due to lack of a strong moral value system
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Cheryl, what do you want? Can't you just stop acting like a child and deal for Christ sakes.
If you have issues with this whole situation then I suggest you take it out with ME instead of in a public forum instead calling Stevens Mom, or sister or anyone that this DOESN'T involve. I've been posting here for years and if you don't like it then to fucking bad. Get a grip on reality. A broken heart sucks. You gave him your love..yadda yadda fucking yadda. He didn't love you. If you hadn't been such a crazy, maybe he would've pursued with the whole divorce long before I showed up. But he didn't because you 'Serina', Cheryl's alter-ego were a nutcase.
As far as 'moral values' go, you're filled with hypocrisy. Now run along and meet with your married next door neighbor and smoke some pot together around your children. Moral values my ass. You're a dipshit.
Submitted by serina (user info) at 2006-11-18 08:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
although some of your perspectives have merit i would think you could find a less public way of conveying your feelings to said parents it is hard for any child to experience the divorce of parents, the death of a parent , or the abondonment of someone that professed to love and care for them it is despicable that children lose their innocence so young due to the desinegration of our society due to lack of a strong moral value system
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-17 15:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:04:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:46:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been waiting for something like this for SO long now. DON'T make me linkwhore all my Tiger poems again.
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you are gay and self-promoting.
stop that.
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Remind me again what industry you work in, becuase I never tire of hearing about that?
Wait, do you like to suck dick? I can't tell. There aren't nearly enough reviews about that.
Now stop throwing stones at the boy you have a crush on and try acting like a lady for once.
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ah sowwy.
:(
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-17 15:39:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-16 09:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel as though the media also plays a huge role in the divorce rate in this country. Divorce is everywhere on TV, movies and commercials.
I also think Merlina was 100% correct. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-11-16 07:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents, and my partners parents are still together.
I love that people say "still together" like its a shocking thing nowadays... sadly I think it might actually *be* a shocking thing.
THE most shocking thing is that my parents ARE still together, considering that they dont appear to like each other very much... Until you witness one of those tender moments when they think we're not watching... like when they're having a sneaky cuddle on the sofa and my dad farts and they both laugh instead of having a huge row over how rude my father is - and you realise, they DO love each other - even if it is our of familiarity rather than mutual respect.
Its also sheer fucking determination to keep it together, despite what the world chucks at them becuase they always seem to be at each others side when bad shit happens.
Whereas my partners parents seem like a hermaphrodite (scuse spelling) split in two, with one half getting the boobs and the other half getting the balls... even though, secretly I think thats a big bloody act, and really, they've already divorced.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-16 04:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Children hate rows, unless they are playing tunnel ball.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-16 03:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another thing to this would be parents that stay together 'for the children' and then make said childrens life a misery with the rows and hate.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-11-16 00:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
didnt even need the picture for a +2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-15 23:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
my parents were married for 21+ yrs and their getting a divorce is probably the best thing they could have done.
I'm so glad I don't have kids.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-11-15 22:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 18:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awww now see. You're just a big softy down deep.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-15 18:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not really.
i can't be my best nasty self.
i like you too much.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 17:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:53:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
So I cant write.
Big fucking deal.
I never said 'I' COULD.
Now shut your fat mouth and run along you're a waste of oxygen.""
better that than a waste of prosthetics.
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Oh SNAP!! You really got me there now didn't ya?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-15 17:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 17:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:25:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
So I cant write.
Big fucking deal.
I never said 'I' COULD.
Now shut your fat mouth and run along you're a waste of oxygen.
===
the rating system's not there to accodomodate your ego.
it's just a rating.
big fucking deal.
YOU stfu.
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You make me laugh. You're more predictable than New England weather.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
divorces and custody cases and screwed up
children are my livlihood.
transcripts.
without them, I perish.
DON'T FUCK WITH THAT.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
So I cant write.
Big fucking deal.
I never said 'I' COULD.
Now shut your fat mouth and run along you're a waste of oxygen.""
better that than a waste of prosthetics.
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is so cute. i guess i have the perfect family as well
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
So I cant write.
Big fucking deal.
I never said 'I' COULD.
Now shut your fat mouth and run along you're a waste of oxygen.
===
the rating system's not there to accodomodate your ego.
it's just a rating.
big fucking deal.
YOU stfu.
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my parents dated for 8 years, and were married for another 24 before they got divorced last year. i'm almost 23 years old and its still having terrible effects on me. but i guess you have to look at the bright side, at least both of my parents are still alive and are much happier now.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-11-15 16:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have the perfect family too. i also work with my dad and my brother i feel very lucky that i see them 5 days a week or sometimes even more. it warms my heart to know that no one in my family has ever been put in a nursing home, we just deal with crazy grandma. i hope that my children stay just as close to me as i am with my parents.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-15 15:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THE LIFETIME CHANNEL JUST CALLED THEY WANT THEIR POST BACK
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-11-15 15:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I kind of wish my parents would have gotten divorced. (sigh) some kids have all the luck.
No, seriously - I do. Mom treats Dad like crap. She needs help. That's why they don't know I was married and don't know I am divorced.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck the Po-leese
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ruthless, I know and I agree with you. It is subjective.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So I cant write.
Big fucking deal.
I never said 'I' COULD.
Now shut your fat mouth and run along you're a waste of oxygen.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not attacking you, darlin', just saying this is very subjective. Sometimes divorce is bad, sometimes it truly is great. There's a flip side to every coin. That's it.
And as for parents acting like parents and not children? I agree completely. If only it happened more often.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what was the fucking point of this?
zero insight.
divorce can be bad m'kay?
the end.
your writing style is fucking annoying too.
"""Sure there have been fights over the years and doors have certainly been slammed a time or two. Names have been called and I can certainly remember tears being shed. But there has never been a Thanksgiving or Christmas, birthday or any other holiday without both of my parents present. There was never a school vacation that had to be split between my mother and my father, nor was there ever a 'see you this weekend, I love you' conversation over the phone."""
Yeah we got it the first time three hundred times. It would have been better as:
"Sure there have been fights, tears shed and doors slammed but we've always been together when it matters."
Stop labouring the fucking point.
You're a nice girl but damn you can't write.
(And I felt under uber-pressure to put the 'nice girl' disclaimer in there to soften the blow - you are one of the very few that get this privilege on account of your legendary tantrums.)
i hate this fucking place.
it should be called 'mediocre-site'.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:02:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
My parents split up when I was 9, but they both kept me as their first priority. I never saw or heard them fight, neither one of them ever discussed the details of the divorce with me, and they maintained a friendly, lighthearted relationship (as they do to this day).
Now they are both happily remarried, and everyone is better off. Divorce isn't a bad thing if both parties can be mature, responsible adults about it.
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Exactly as it should be. And as a step-parent in a situation where all three parents (the mother, father and me) are mature, pleasant and always put the child first, I can say that sometimes it is indeed better for the child when the parents are not together.
If his parents were together, he would be growing up with lots of fighting, bitterness and anger. Instead, he gets parents who are civil and happy, plus extra people (me and my family) in his life who love him.
Of course it's not perfect, nothing ever is, but it is much better than the alternative.
So, like just about everything else in life, any opinions made on this subject should be made on a case-by-case basis, not sweeping generalizations.
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Adults also need to be happy. And by no means am I saying, parents should stay together and miserable for their childrens sake. We only go around this world once. I just hate to see all the fighting and anger while going through the process even if the divorce is a mutual decision.
Parents should act like parents and not children themselves.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:46:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been waiting for something like this for SO long now. DON'T make me linkwhore all my Tiger poems again.
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you are gay and self-promoting.
stop that.
---
Remind me again what industry you work in, becuase I never tire of hearing about that?
Wait, do you like to suck dick? I can't tell. There aren't nearly enough reviews about that.
Now stop throwing stones at the boy you have a crush on and try acting like a lady for once.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-11-15 14:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
My parents split up when I was 9, but they both kept me as their first priority. I never saw or heard them fight, neither one of them ever discussed the details of the divorce with me, and they maintained a friendly, lighthearted relationship (as they do to this day).
Now they are both happily remarried, and everyone is better off. Divorce isn't a bad thing if both parties can be mature, responsible adults about it.
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Exactly as it should be. And as a step-parent in a situation where all three parents (the mother, father and me) are mature, pleasant and always put the child first, I can say that sometimes it is indeed better for the child when the parents are not together.
If his parents were together, he would be growing up with lots of fighting, bitterness and anger. Instead, he gets parents who are civil and happy, plus extra people (me and my family) in his life who love him.
Of course it's not perfect, nothing ever is, but it is much better than the alternative.
So, like just about everything else in life, any opinions made on this subject should be made on a case-by-case basis, not sweeping generalizations.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been waiting for something like this for SO long now. DON'T make me linkwhore all my Tiger poems again.
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you are gay and self-promoting.
stop that.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:56:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not saying this happens in all situations where people stay together for the kids. I'm sure it also happens when people have decent marriages, too. But I think it's not right to generalize and say "divorce is bad for children." Because sometimes, I think it really is the best choice.
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Agreed. And had your parents stayed together and divorced while you were going through, lets say, puberty, it might have had a different impact on your life.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been waiting for something like this for SO long now. DON'T make me linkwhore all my Tiger poems again.
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Apparently there is some sort of fetish that people do have for amputees. Eh, whatever floats your boat I guess. I never dated one. A fetish or an amputee.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-11-15 13:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 11:51:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:50:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:09:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Show me your hole!
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Yeah shlongy, uber would be SO much better with some amputee pr0n.
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Sweet lord....haha
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well i sure as hell won't look away.
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if it is a pic it would be my new background.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents divorced when I was 2 or 3. Really, I don't think this has negatively affected me. First of all, I was far too young to remember them evening being together. Secondly, I think that things turned out a lot more positively for me.
I believe that marriage is a very serious investment. I also believe that there are a lot of people who do not take it very seriously. When you marry someone, you are making a committment to them and yourself that you will do anything to try and make the relationship work. You shouldn't be at the altar thinking "well, if this doesn't work out, I at least have a way out." Marriage is work. I think a lot of people miss that.
Despite the fact that I believe marriage is this serious investment, I also understand that there are certain circumstances in which you just cannot make things work. There are certain issues that perhaps you did not forsee happening. Cheating is one of those things. Some people, no matter how much counseling they get, cannot get over cheating. I don't think anyone can judge them poorly for that.
It does become tricky when you have children involved, but I don't think that you should stay together for the kids. My aunt and uncle are a perfect example of this. Caught up in their Catholic ways, they will not divorce. They hardly ever talk to each other, they hate each other, they have no respect for one another. They live in separate rooms. And you know what? They've made it worse for their kids. Now they have created a pair of manipulative little brats with no concept of how other people might feel about a given situation. They are selfish assholes. For my cousins growing up, they never heard no. At least not for very long. They ask mom, she says no, and because of the poor communication between my aunt and uncle, they ask dad, who gladly obliges.
I'm not saying this happens in all situations where people stay together for the kids. I'm sure it also happens when people have decent marriages, too. But I think it's not right to generalize and say "divorce is bad for children." Because sometimes, I think it really is the best choice.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:46:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Divorce rate is high - but then again I don't know why people get married so quickly these days.
I've been seeing the Bloke for 3 years and we haven't even moved in together yet..
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You're awesome Merlina. I completely agree with this. I think people are so consumed by this 'well I need companionship..I don't want to be alone' mentality that they end up just 'settling'...which is absolute crap when kids come into the picture.
Good post Tiger.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm... Channeled Disney there for a moment...
Who would tinker bell be?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
princess tiger lilly speak truth
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 12:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been waiting for something like this for SO long now. DON'T make me linkwhore all my Tiger poems again.
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V
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 11:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:50:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:09:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Show me your hole!
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Yeah shlongy, uber would be SO much better with some amputee pr0n.
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Sweet lord....haha
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well i sure as hell won't look away.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DIES: White shorts + no undies on the junk = yum
MEN: White shorts + no undies on the junk = I'd sooner kiss a horse while it vomited carrots into my mouth
haha, a new catch phrase in the making.
I have many thoughts on this issue I'm sure you can imagine but don't know how to succinctly address them here. I do think divorce is far too easy and acceptable but I have a hard time saying I'd change things for me now. My son is top priority, we are civil, and neither (as far as I know) of us talk shit about the other so..... like so much else life throws at a person you just have to do the best you can with the cards dealt you.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:09:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Show me your hole!
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Yeah shlongy, uber would be SO much better with some amputee pr0n.
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Sweet lord....haha
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever get married and divorced I'm goin balls to the wall like Elizabeth Taylor
What is she on marriage # 27 by now?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My parents' divorce is the greatest thing for my stand-up career..........if I had even the slightest of desires to pursue stage comedy. Unfortunately I don't, so I get to internalize all of the fun that comes from having a stepmom younger than me and the joys of meeting the occasional oddball my mom dates.
The guy who didn't wear underwear was...interesting.
As was his love of white shorts.
Clearly he never learned The Rules:
LADIES: White shorts + no undies on the junk = yum
MEN: White shorts + no undies on the junk = I'd sooner kiss a horse while it vomited carrots into my mouth
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Show me your hole!
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Yeah shlongy, uber would be SO much better with some amputee pr0n.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-11-15 10:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My parents split up when I was 9, but they both kept me as their first priority. I never saw or heard them fight, neither one of them ever discussed the details of the divorce with me, and they maintained a friendly, lighthearted relationship (as they do to this day).
Now they are both happily remarried, and everyone is better off. Divorce isn't a bad thing if both parties can be mature, responsible adults about it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-15 09:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-15 09:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I couldn't possibly care less, but +1 for tackling an issue not too commonly seen here. Now shut us your gash.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-15 09:12:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold."
- Neale Donald Walsch, "Conversations with God"
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-15 09:05:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:34:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think 2 of the biggest problems that any couples face are lack of communication and not loving the other person when things get rough. People are so quick to throw love away when they're angry...it's really sad.
I don't think people should stay together for their kids because sometimes it's worse for them. I do, however, think that people should act like adults in front of their children.
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that first part is what happened in my marriage. he still won't even tell me why he hasn't given me the divorce paperwork. still have no particular idea why he wanted the divorce other than i don't look like other girls.
the second is what my parents did. me and my bro knew my parents should never have gotten married but they stayed together for 23 years until my bro graduated from highschool. so that was a miserable household and the basis for the idea of a family in my head.
since i'm too lazy to read the reviews... who's getting divorced?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Show me your hole!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Divorce is a bigger threat to the "sanctity of marriage" than anything to do with gays. "Till death do us part" means nothing in modern society.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think 2 of the biggest problems that any couples face are lack of communication and not loving the other person when things get rough. People are so quick to throw love away when they're angry...it's really sad.
I don't think people should stay together for their kids because sometimes it's worse for them. I do, however, think that people should act like adults in front of their children.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:59:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
DR, I'm drunk....what? Huh? Who? Where?
Someone get me a shot of Patron stat!
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You need a lil variety. to then end, I'm currently stocking Patron, Cabo, Milagro, and Sauza for when I wanna feel cheap. Expand your horizons. Embrace your inner cheap.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"They can't figure out why daddy has a girlfriend and mommy is living with someone that isn't their father or in some cases their mother. Whatever sexual preference, it's tough"
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus, Indo, don't go into a roid rage right here on this post. Someone's parents got a divorce.
Oh, wait, it was mine.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-11-15 08:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So this whole post is "PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN....especially when you are getting divorce"
Didn't find it funny, heartwarming, eyeopening or thought provoking.
This is a no brainer, this is like saying don't let your kids play in traffic.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good sentiment.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The secret is to be able to accept somebody for who they really are, and not expecting them to be anything else.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ShakeyBear (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After reading Lisa's comment and having read a few other of her comments I think it's about time to state that she is awesome.
Submitted by ShakeyBear (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
crap, below is supposed to read "I'm happy my parents didn't split up"
Submitted by ShakeyBear (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's kind of a weird entry.
It's kind of like you're talking about something you don't know. It would have been enough to say "I'm lucky my parents have split up". The rest just seems like you're guessing about how things are for kids whose parents are divorced, or based on past experiences that you've seen but not really experienced.
My parents broke up when I was younger and at first when my mom attempted to leave I didn't know why, and I cried. The next time though I was ready, as a result of hear my parents argue, and despite the minor trauma that their arguing caused I was ready for them to split as it ultimately improved life for everyone tremendously.
Yes parents should get their act together. But divorce can be a good thing, a terrific thing, if they can't. I can assure you that it was not my parents' break up that was the biggest tradgedy of my youth, but rather the natural entry into a shitty world. I think many kids nowadays attempt to blame their parents for a divorce, citing it as the source of all their troubles in life/social life. It's just not true in many cases. The world is shitty. Sometimes because of shitty parents, but just as often because of shitty kids on the school front, and sometimes even because of shitty kids that are the way they are because of a constant bickering on the home front from parents who are too stupid to know that they SHOULD divorce.
Divorce is part of life. To think that you can spend your entire life with just one person is a crazy notion, when you think about it. Partly because, can you trust yourself? And partly because, can you trust them? I think people should stop condeming divorce and start realizing it can be virtuous, if it is done the right way.
I guess the bottom line is that parents need to get a fucking grip on themselves, and how they run a family. If they have an issue, they need to keep it out of the eyes/ears of children, and if a divorce is to happen then parents need to be smart enough to understand each others' right to visit the kids. If they don't understand, they're attempting to opt out of a lifelong agreement and responsibility they made that they obviously shouldn't have. And there is nothing worse then somone bitching about a personal responsibility that they feel they shouldn't be responsible for.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents were married 22 years when my mother died at age 41. Life is not fair.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-11-15 06:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm blessed too.
And I'm thankful for it every day.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was very well written.
yes, you're very lucky indeed. my parents divorced when I was very young. respectively, they've both had three marriages. and because of this, I always said I would never get married. I was always afraid to commit to anyone enough to get married, because I was sure the same pattern would start all over again. but now I'm dating a wonderful girl, I love her and we've talked about getting married. for the first time in my life, I'm excited about the thought of marraige. good luck to you too.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:11:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:57:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just realised my last comment could have been extremely hurtful, I feel like an utter dickhead. I'm just joshin' you, TL, without thinking. but Merlina is still frigid
~~~
You really think?
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not really, no. Sorry Tiger. gone.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:11:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drunk?
its like, Monday night, or something.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Art Modell can felch some indiscriminate gay guys arse. I needed to get that off my chest. Tiger I'm sorry I put my foot in m... gawd. fuck it I'm going out.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:57:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just realised my last comment could have been extremely hurtful, I feel like an utter dickhead. I'm just joshin' you, TL, without thinking. but Merlina is still frigid
~~~
You really think?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this one?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95740
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 05:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:49:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think less people should get married. There shoud be more self-examination as to whether you can be faithful to one person for the rest of your life, and if you're strong enough to make sacrifices and constantly face someone else's problems. Too many people just do it because it's expected, they can't think outside the box, they don't know what else to do with themselves.
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Lisa....PS. I agree with you wholeheartedly. So A-fucking-men to that. I'm drunk...eh, it happens.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DR, I'm drunk....what? Huh? Who? Where?
Someone get me a shot of Patron stat!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just realised my last comment could have been extremely hurtful, I feel like an utter dickhead. I'm just joshin' you, TL, without thinking. but Merlina is still frigid.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:49:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Sherlock, I was hoping someone would answer that mystifying question: "Does divorce hurt children?"
I think less people should get married. There shoud be more self-examination as to whether you can be faithful to one person for the rest of your life, and if you're strong enough to make sacrifices and constantly face someone else's problems. Too many people just do it because it's expected, they can't think outside the box, they don't know what else to do with themselves.
Children of unmarried parents would on the whole be better off than children of divorced parents, most likely. My parents were never together, that was much less traumatic that having to adjust to the fragmentation of my family.
"I don't believe in marriage...I think at worst it's a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it's a happy delusion - these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they're about to make each other."
That's from "Frida"; it doesn't apply as well to today's society, but it's amusing nonetheless.
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Wow. Actually I'm not married nor do I have kids, which means I don't have divorced kids. It was just something I had been thinking about so I decided to write about it. Tis all. I think I shall invest in a $1.25 Steno Pad.
Anyone hear about how Method made out with getting Carrot puke off his car???
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*should, damn
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhaha Merlina is frigid. Tiger I don't believe you for a minute. You've probably got them in an album.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Sherlock, I was hoping someone would answer that mystifying question: "Does divorce hurt children?"
I think less people should get married. There shoud be more self-examination as to whether you can be faithful to one person for the rest of your life, and if you're strong enough to make sacrifices and constantly face someone else's problems. Too many people just do it because it's expected, they can't think outside the box, they don't know what else to do with themselves.
Children of unmarried parents would on the whole be better off than children of divorced parents, most likely. My parents were never together, that was much less traumatic that having to adjust to the fragmentation of my family.
"I don't believe in marriage...I think at worst it's a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it's a happy delusion - these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they're about to make each other."
That's from "Frida"; it doesn't apply as well to today's society, but it's amusing nonetheless.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:46:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Divorce rate is high - but then again I don't know why people get married so quickly these days.
I've been seeing the Bloke for 3 years and we haven't even moved in together yet..
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:36:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you know, Tiger, that patriots is nearly an anagram of pirates? well did you? no. Because one legged people don't know about anagrams, or even about the triple jump. All you know about is standing on one leg, and wondering about how you ever get further in the playoffs than The Browns, which is dumb, because The Browns never really reach the playoffs. One legged people are dumb. I have a lot of single socks I was gonna through out, email me.
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I have single socks too, but only because when I do laundry I only wash the one that I need and then the other one seems to disappear. One legged people maybe dumb cuz they throw the 'other' sock out and they could start a 'one legged sock' company that caters to one legged people.
PS. Where is Shlongy???
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'throw'.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you know, Tiger, that patriots is nearly an anagram of pirates? well did you? no. Because one legged people don't know about anagrams, or even about the triple jump. All you know about is standing on one leg, and wondering about how you ever get further in the playoffs than The Browns, which is dumb, because The Browns never really reach the playoffs. One legged people are dumb. I have a lot of single socks I was gonna through out, email me.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:19:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am what happens when your parents get divorced.
in other words, if you don't want your children to turn out like me, don't get divorced.
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oh this is just *awesome* news..
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:20:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
calling me a moron was not very nice.
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Really you shouldn't take it personally. I'm called 'Peg' just about everyday. Ask Nitty. ;)
All truth. A story for another time.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"But for the children involved and for their well being divorce should be less about the parent's disagreements and more about the parents trying to make better lives for their. "
to make better lives for THEM
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
calling me a moron was not very nice.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not bitter though.
just nuts.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-15 04:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am what happens when your parents get divorced.
in other words, if you don't want your children to turn out like me, don't get divorced.
or married in the first place.
:)