bovine holocaust (430 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.9 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Art> (View user info) at 2006-11-16 10:04:04 EST
Once upon a time a moo cow came wandering up the road.
The cow passed by one prefabricated building after another. A funny smell wafted
through the air, and a familiar and pungent stench encompassed a five mile radius.
Nearby was a railroad, and trains went by regularly. The cow enjoyed taking strolls down
the long, winding trails leading over the hills and towards a humble valley.
"Moooo-ooo-oo" the cow heard. She turned around to a horde of bulls slaughtering each
other at the mere sight of here udders. Knowing what she was doing, the cow took a full
on romp, swinging her dairy holes to and fro, coaxing the bulls to slaughter each other
for her affection.
When none were left standing she proceeded towards the valley, which was just over the
rusted train tracks. As she was about to cross she heard the distant whistle of an
oncoming train. Having a flair for engineering, and a fetish for steam, the cow waited
patiently for the train to come by.
As soon as she saw the bright beacon in the distance, she immediately knew she was
coming across a cattle car. The wailing inside was unbearable. Luckily, she would only
have to hear it for a few brief moments. As it passed, cow proceeded to the valley, but
was stopped by a sudden screech, and turned to be witnessing sparks flying, as the train
came to a near-sudden halt.
She approached the conducter, a reputed bull named Mr. Hornsley. Mr. Hornsley tipped
his horns to moo cow, and continued about his transgressions.
He approached the last train car, passing by an ocean of flailing arms and echoing
obscenities. When he finally reached the back, he unloaded his orbital stabbing platform,
complete with purple death lasers, and pointed it towards what seemed to be a single
organism, which was in reality was several men, women and children writhing, whilst
violently grabbing, tearing, and biting at one another.
The smell of urine, sweat, blood, tears concocted a strange brew, and as the people
retreated to their corners of the car at the sight of Mr. Hornsely, amassed in the center
was a pile of victims, mostly women and children, especially fat children.
The sight matched the stench, and moo cow began to heave at the sight of the savage
humans. With a hormone pumped mind and body, one brave soul used moo cows
distracting behavior as a chance to flee the slay ride. He ran swiftly by Mr. Hornsley with
primal aggression in his cry.
Mr. Hornsely was knocked over and upon recooperating immediately jumped back on the
train. Luckily, before the brute, yet foolish man had a chance to even split from the
tracks, Mr. Hornsleys human-catcher bashed him in to oblivion.
Moo cow was still uncertain what would happen to the lot, but Mr. Hornsely insisted that
they would soon be arriving at Auschwitz Condominiums.
Moo cow had enough excitement for one day, and decided to continue her journey in to
the valley. On her way back, she saw the train docked at the station, being hosed out by
a team of illegals from Bovine, Moo Mexico.
Exhausted from hunger, she stopped at a nearby fast food resauraunt for a delicious and
nutritious meal. As she took her first few bites, she had a sudden feeling of deja-vu. That
odor.. that wonderful stench. A brief snapshot flashed in her mind, too quick to quite
grasp what it meant.
"Oh well" she thought to herself with a shrug. The hamburgers here always have tasted a
little strange.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-17 15:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cows
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-16 15:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
moo.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-16 15:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-11-16 11:57:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
"Once upon a time a moo cow came wandering up the road."
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-11-16 14:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-16 13:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2006-11-16 11:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Once upon a time a moo cow came wandering up the road."
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-11-16 11:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mooo cow
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-11-16 10:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Why don't we run down there and fuck one of those cows!"
"Easy son. We can just walk down there, and fuck all of them..."
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-16 10:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hehe