Mind if I put my dick in your coffee? (410 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.08 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sw3953 (View user info) at 2006-11-17 12:20:40 EST
That's what he asked with his eyes anyway. Jesus Christ! You can't swing a dead cat in a Starbucks without hitting a gay guy. Every time it is the same. Need room for my cream? Want me to make that a latte? How about that in a venti? You look thirsty this morning.
It sure is good though. I need a refill.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-17 15:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:58:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:47:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
StarFucks blows.
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And if there is one thing Bubba knows... its suckin' dick.
_________
Robbie, weren't you the asshole who wanted to stop fighting? Christ, man, you are a liar and a fool on top of being a retard. Dipshit.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:47:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
StarFucks blows.
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And if there is one thing Bubba knows... its suckin' dick.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
StarFucks blows.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Considering the hilarious title, I am rather disappointed with this post.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just for stepping INTO a Starbucks, it makes YOU gay, too, Cowboy.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-11-17 14:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This had potential. What you have is good, but it needs more rant. I like some of your phrasing.
My friend uses that phrase, and it's always funny (he doesn't overuse it).
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:20:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this sucked more cock than all those gay guys combined.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:58:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THERE IS NO COFFEE IN VANCOUVER PEOPLE!
IT HAS RAINED SO MUCH THE WATER TABLE ARE CONTAMINATED!
I REPEAT! I REPEAT!
THERE IS NO COFFE IN VANCOUVER - STARBUCKS, TIMMY'S, ETC ARE CLOSED!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would totally dick up your coffee. Wait that's totally insane coffee would burn me. I would totally dick up your frappuccino though.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:40:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You got something against dick in your coffee?
Hate monger.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
he's got a point...
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:35:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I swung a dead cat in Starbucks once.
The thing was, I hadn't slept for like 76 hours and I was starting to feel the pinch. I decided that all I needed to do was have some rancid road tar from Starbucks and the caffeine hit would get me back to my usual wired, incoherent self.
Lucky for me, this particular Starbucks was open at 5:30am when most normal people need coffee. I wandered in, sat at the first available seat and waited for someone to serve me.
At 7:45, I woke up when the manager started prodding me with the end of his broom. "Please wake up and get the fuck out of my store, sir".
I groggily got up and left the premises trying to digest what had happened. My head was aching by now because I still hadn't had any coffee and 90% of my vital organs had shut down for maintanence thinking that I would be doing a fair bit of sleeping after the bender I'd been on. The first one to wake up was my brain. It did a few quick calculations and decided that I still hadn't fulfilled the over zealous, dipshit manager's request. Searching the pavement for something I could use to cave his ignorant skull in, I finally rested upon the stray cat that was moping along, trying to make everybody aware of its starving plight by making an incessant noise that felt like a jackhammer was penetrating my cochlea.
Storming back into the store, I swung the cat in several 360 degree arcs most of which connected only with thin air. Finally, the tail disconnected itself from the rest of the shrieking cat's body and the torso went flying through the air, eventually assosciating itself with the stupid FUCK's head.
With a startled yelp, the manager fell backwards, crashing through an $8000 window and coming to rest on the footpath. I wandered over, and stood above him glaring menacingly. With tears streaming down his face, he asked me why I would do such a thing?
"You told me to get the 'fuck' out of your store, so I did. He's now lying on the sidewalk"
And with that, I jumped on my magic carpet and flew back to never never land.
True story.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Never been to a Starbucks.