cars i have owned 1/16 (with an 8 year old camwhore)... long (1261 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.89 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RAYG (the kuroneko_sama) (View user info) at 2006-11-18 01:28:09 EST
I am going to do a post of each car that i've had... and what went wrong, in the chronological order that I have owned them(in my random, "off on a tangent" style).
...
Since receiving my license 9 years ago, I have owned 16 automobiles. Some died tragic horrible deaths, some survived to another driver.... and some, well, just kind of couldn't handle what I had to give it.
Last time I checked, my DMV record was going onto a 4th page.
Here is my very first car....
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CAR #1: 1990 Mazda RX-7
...
This is probably the coolest (and dumbest) thing a mother could do for her kid. Funny thing is, my mother used to street race in the 60's/70's, she should have known better....
Since my sister was given a car on her 16th birthday, I was going to get a free car too...
I basically went to the car lot and (half kidding) said "I want that". My mom simply said "OK" no argument or anything... I simply was allowed to get the fastest, lightest, possibly the least-safe, and "most impossible to repair" car on the lot.
Well, I got to stare at it in my yard for a few months, (washing it daily, putting in a kick-ass sound system, etc.) because I was unable to get into "drivers-ed" when I wanted to. (Fucking driver's-ed class filled up with 15 year olds when it was offered so I had to wait till fall of my 17th birthday to get in...Cocksuckers... having a September birthday is a bitch) but I eventually got my license, just after my 17th birthday, and got her a runnin'
I had it a whole total of 18 months, but only actually drove it about 1/4 that. (The funny thing about NH is they had a rule for people under 18. You received automatic suspensions for 30/45/90 days for the first/second/third offense...any offense.)
...I'm just glad I dodged that "can't drive after dark" law
...
My first ticket was dumb. My cocksucker "drivers-ed" instructor, the local police chief, decided to make an example of me.
It was a Saturday, I was picking up something from school, and the parking lot was barren. I'm talking maybe 5 cars total in the entire lot. You can see about 1/4 mile in every direction.
well my drivers ed teacher was in to do a weekend class and saw me from the inside of the building, driving through a stop sign in the middle of the parking lot (mind you, I could see EVERYTHING around me... I could practically see the curvature of the fucking earth) and about a mile up the road he pulled me over...
The asshole left the building, got into his unmarked cruiser, and pulled me over. , gave me a $72 ticket (wow remember those days of $72 tickets...they are like 3X that now). As a result, I lost my license for 30 days....fucker. That was in November.
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December came around and I got my license back I ran a stoplight I just wasn't paying attention I guess, it was the middle of the night, no other cars around, but some cops are bored, and yes I did break the law... so I had it coming.
As I was heading home I got a 3rd ticket for not coming to a complete stop at the off-ramp. (Those cops must have a homing beacon on me) and I had the 45 and 90 day suspensions consecutively)
It basically saved me from driving in the snow... so it wasn't a terrible thing; an rx-7 isn't exactly a car for the winter months.
...
May came, I got my license back. and was very aware of where the cops were from there on in.... it didn't make me a "more behaved driver", it made me a "more aware of where the cops were" driver.
Let the chaos begin
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I basically was a cocky, stupid, teenage male with heightened adrenaline, and a "testosterone enhancing", "too powerful" car. In addition to randomly going the wrong way down "one way" streets, power sliding, random racing, making a 45 mile trip in 20 minutes (doing about 145 will do that.... I actually passed a cop clocking in the median during that, but he didn't go after me, he must've been napping......I was LUCKY), driving THROUGH some random person's yard to get to the next street over in the middle of the night... doing donuts for the hell of it... basically, I was a dumbass.
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One really bizarre thing happened and to this day I have no idea how....
I was driving into town, and had no issue under about 30 mph... then I heard a "THUNK, THUNK, THUNK".... As I slowed down, it went away.... Ooooohkaaaayy?????
So I sped up again "THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK"... ok...something was wrong....
I got to the mechanic shop round the corner, and he looked the car over...and was baffled. He took it for a spin and got the "thunking", he said there is probably a problem with a wheel...
So he took the wheels off and one wheel was VERY out of balance.......
He took the tire off the rim and "BWOOSH" about a Gallon (no lie) of water poured out of the tire.... No fucking clue how I got a gallon of water in my tire.... It was fully inflated... and had given me no trouble till that day..... Strangest damn thing...... I had a new tire put on, the mechanic was cool enough to do it at cost (he knew I would someday be funding his kid's college tuition)
...
Anyways... back to the chaos......
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One time, I got challenged by a mustang in the passing lane of a 50mph zone in a town I will call "town x" (like 15 miles from my house) we gradually increased speed until I hit about 130mph and his governor kicked in (I never let him past my nose...despite his best efforts), at which point a cop car came FLYING from the distance behind us (it was a pretty long straight-way with a slight hill) the mustang quickly went off to a side road, but the cruiser went after me (I was still about half mile ahead... pussy mustang... that's what I get for being the winner), I went down several strange roads as fast as I could to lose him....
The road turned to dirt....
Now at this point I wasn't so much "driving fast" as I was "flying low"
..."SHIT!!!" the rx-7 was not built for dirt!
As my car seemingly hovered over the dirt road... I totally "fish-tailed" as I tried to slow down and completely spun the car (at least a full 1080 degrees) like a top, on all 4 wheels, as it skidded to the side of the road and stalled.
As the dust cleared I looked over to my friend, Jack (who's who was frozen stiff with mega-wide eyes) and asked if he was ok... he couldn't form words, he just kind of babbled, then said "WOW".... (I tend to do that to my passengers)... we then started laughing hysterically. (Did I mention he was a heavy stoner?)
When the dust was gone I had realized I had paralleled parked between a utility pole, and a boulder, "Ace Ventura" style. Well I kind of thought it was cool, but realized it could have easily killed us....several times over..... But that was quickly replaced with the concern of whether or not I damaged my car. I got out, and miraculously, didn't see any damage, I thought for sure my tires would have been blown, but hey....no signs of the police anywhere....
I started the car and slowly headed into the town of "town y" (about 5 miles away..... mind you these towns have populations of less than 1,900) and pulled into a plaza parking lot. As jack and I were checking for any damage from the spin out, THREE CRUISERS, lights blaring flew down the road past us. We looked at each other and decided to head home.
I got massively lucky that night, and never heard anything of it ever again. I did avoid the town of Sunapee till I got a diff car, but never saw that mustang ever again either...pussy.
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About 2 months later somebody from school (probably the ass that drove his dad's crappy porche... A beaten 924 I think) decided to sugar my gas tank....
Now the car got home no problem, but the following day I tried to start the car, and I was blowing gasoline out of the exhaust and it wouldn't start.
It was taken to 3 different mechanic shops to attempt to get it fixed, none of them could (problem with the rotary/wankle engine... nobody knows how to work on those things).
I ended up trading it in and used the insurance money (about $500 more than mom paid for it) for a down payment on car #2
...
More to come............
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-17 16:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet car, eh.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-14 06:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm, motor cars.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-06 18:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WANKEL
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-30 00:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they told me somthing was added to the fuel (suggested sugar) that reamed all of the neoprene in the car including the gaskets and shit and it totally fucked the injectors and ecu
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
car stories get +2 from me.
but on a side note it has been shown that sugar in the tank wont actuallt ruin the car. it wont dissolve and the fuel filter would take care of the rest. mythbusters actually tested this. now bleach in the oil is another story.
still good story
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-21 11:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
....thats why i now own an svx
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-11-21 04:41:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-20 09:40:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-11-20 07:25:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Have to give you a +2 'cos I just bought an RX8 and it is AWESOM!
i would have gotten an rx-8 but i totally object it having 4 doors on principal
(even "half doors" are doors)
had they ever decide to made a convertible like they were going to on its second year... i would buy it though
sure its fast, sure its powerful, and has 2 ROTARY ENGINES... there is no such thing as a 4 door sports car.
(points out that porche is making a 4 door car to be released next year)
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Just go and take one out for a test drive, i dare you to not love it. This car has changed my whole attitude to driving. I used to love it, now I am haveing dirty sordid sex with the road.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-20 09:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-11-20 07:25:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Have to give you a +2 'cos I just bought an RX8 and it is AWESOM!
i would have gotten an rx-8 but i totally object it having 4 doors on principal
(even "half doors" are doors)
had they ever decide to made a convertible like they were going to on its second year... i would buy it though
sure its fast, sure its powerful, and has 2 ROTARY ENGINES... there is no such thing as a 4 door sports car.
(points out that porche is making a 4 door car to be released next year)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-11-20 09:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
many of my good driving stories contain the phrase "i almost died"
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-11-20 07:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have to give you a +2 'cos I just bought an RX8 and it is AWESOM!
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-11-20 00:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice post
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-11-19 16:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great
Submitted by RPharazon (user info) at 2006-11-19 15:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mazda = Auto +2
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-18 23:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah the zebra covers are definately on the "overly tacky" side
but, i still got laid........
.so its ok......
and yes they were sold with the car.....
... i still have the dice though
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-18 23:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like the tallest columbine killer
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-18 23:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-11-18 14:03:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
great stuff
i damn near gave you a +1 though because of the zebra skin seat covers ( i guess it was the 80's or something)
yeah the whole interior was zebra...... and it has fuzzy dice.......
if it makes you feel better.... they were sold with the car.... never to be seen from again
and the photo was from 10 years ago and the car was a 1990
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-18 20:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
?WHAR IZ THA PlCTURE OF THA 8 YER OLD I WANT 8 YER OLD NUDY CAMHORE.?
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-11-18 18:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
coo.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-18 14:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus you're lucky
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-18 14:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone either has... or is... the stoner sidekick
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-11-18 14:03:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great stuff
i damn near gave you a +1 though because of the zebra skin seat covers ( i guess it was the 80's or something)
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-11-18 13:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fun
i think the defining memory of my adolescence will be BEING that stoned person in the passenger seat
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-18 13:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2006-11-18 04:11:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the lawnmower engine
+2 for the stupid driving (we all did it)
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-18 04:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it actually had a turbo II
the engine was put in the gxl body
it simply didnt have the ram air hood
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2006-11-18 04:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the lawnmower engine
+2 for the stupid driving (we all did it)
-2 for nonturbo.
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2006-11-18 03:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you. I think you are cute.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-18 01:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the best thing about being 5'7, I can fit into the micro-tiny japanese cars.... they feel like they were built just for me.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-18 01:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that car was sweet, it was a little cramped for me, but boy could she move!