You Don't Deserve a Meme (544 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OwnageGoat (View user info) at 2006-11-19 21:19:33 EST
Men are fucking scum. I'm done with them.
If anyone has any magical pills that will transform me into a lesbian, please please drop me a line. Otherwise, I'm about to commit to a vow of celibacy.
Well, celibacy from other people. No way I'm giving up a little self-love. I can do it better alone anyways. Assholes.
In my latest misadventure, I had a blind date with a friend of a friend. For the purpose of protecting his non-existent dignity, I'll call him Will here.
Will, when I first caught glimpse of him at the restaurant, was everything you never get out of blind dates: tall, good looking, and a generally nice piece of ass. Being shallow, I approved very much of his long hair (in a neat little ponytail) and well-cut jeans.
For once, I didn't feel like a complete fucking tool for showing up in a dress and nice shoes, because here was a man that owned a mirror.
For any other male, he was probably a fag.
But I digress. We were seated in the middle of the floor, and then exchanged small talk, while waiting for our food. Inwardly, I was beating myself trying to come up with interesting and witty topics without coming off as a nerd (confession: I am). At certain intervals, he would laugh, flashing nice white teeth (got to like a man who knows how to floss), and actually have something to say about various topics in Philosophy and Politics.
Finally, someone who spent more than two seconds selecting clothes, and could match my conversation. Life was fantastic.
As dinner arrived, he asked me if he could make a personal confession. Intrigued, (and ready to do anything he wanted me to) I told me to go ahead.
Laughing, Will confessed that he was skeptical of dating someone that was my type. Being an absolute idiot, I said, "what, like intelligent?"
He just kind of shrugged and replied, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"
I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said 'Fresh', and it had dice in the mirror, if anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, homes, to Bel-Air!'
I pulled up to the house at about seven or eight, I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes, smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there! To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
User Reviews
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:48:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-11-20 03:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the first one I read, and I was so fucking confused. Coming back to it, though, I now recognize the brilliance of this piece...
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-11-19 22:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cstick man I think you better read the rest of these...
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-11-19 22:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, i have those lesbian pills
you can come over and get them anytime you want
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno that beret is pretty disturbing
and Doodles Ax needs to be the first to drink the kool-aid for not continuing past genesis
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
VERY.
Looks like I'll have to find something else disturbing. :(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:41:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give it a +2 to even it out for bringing back fond childhood memories and on account of you being my bitch ;)
In other news, I havn't heard from Doodles since Uberanity.
---
I remeber that. our church has lasped into demise I'm afraid
We need to recruit more members and drink the purple kool-aid
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those guys are gay together
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SWEET
Sinistral WOOO
To equate that, I will eventually destroy your adulthood...do you like Mythbusters?
For your sake, I hope not.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give it a +2 to even it out for bringing back fond childhood memories and on account of you being my bitch ;)
In other news, I havn't heard from Doodles since Uberanity.
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles man, why the hate?
:D This is delicious copypasta and you know it
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aww Sinistral baby I still love you ;)
You just need to LURK MOAR
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you
All 3/100ths of an inch of you
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking wow.
Perfect turnaround.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-19 21:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
BOOOOOOOO