Hayden Panettiere saved my ass. (716 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.8 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jfreakman (View user info) at 2006-11-20 21:10:29 EST
Today was Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
For those who don't know, I love my daughter. Very much. She means the world to me, and I am so happy to have her in my life.
When my wife left me, I thought I would die. I know that no one literally dies from a broken heart. The coroner usually ends up putting "suicide" on the cause of death line. But I didn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and late at night I would watch videos of our wedding and cry. Sad, pathetic, and cliche, my life meant nothing save one bright shining spot.
My daughter saved me from myself, literally. She brought joy back into my life, and when the judge awarded custody to me, I thought that I would always be happy. That's a stupid thought, now that I think about it, but she means that much to me.
Today, at Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, she saved me again. This time from getting fired, going to jail, and probably killing a man.
Just so you know, I am a Video Comms Operator at a rather large pharmaceutical company. I don't have the best job, but it pays well, and it's not too hard. I've been there about 14 years, so as one of the perks, I get to park a little closer to the building. Big deal, but I'll take what I can get.
As we pull into the 10+ year lot, I see a black Yukon swerving around me. As he went by, I noticed the guy flipping me off. What did I do now? Well, nothing, but I didn't know that at the time. I merely went on about my business of parking my car.
Luckily, there was one spot left. I smiled to my daughter as I got ready to pull into it. However, seemingly out of nowhere came the black Yukon. As he pulled into my spot, he laid on the horn and again gave me the one-finger salute.
What the hell? "What a jacka...jerk." I said, mindful of my daughter's young--but probably not innocent--ears. I watched the prick get out of his car and saunter to the back, open the hatch and rifle through his briefcase. I recognized him. It was Jim, a seven-year man who I had pegged right with my first assumption-jackass.
I was pissed. I don't know why I got so mad, it's not like the 10-year lot is that great, but it was the principle of the thing, I guess. If you haven't been with the company for ten or more years, don't park in my damn space. And as I sat there and thought about it, I got more and more mad.
I keep a baseball bat in my backseat. One of my more eccentric hobbies is going to the batting cages, and I like to use my own bat. I grabbed it out of the backseat, and opened the car door.
"DAD!!" My daughter, the voice of reason. "What are you doing? PUT THE BAT DOWN!"
I looked at her face, and I got back in the car. Jim hadn't even noticed what's going on. I slowly sank back into my seat. I felt my rage subsiding, and as I thought about it some more, I realized it was a parking space. It wasn't worth beating the shit out of some guy for.
So I did what I think any guy would do. Once in the building, I politely asked him to stop parking in my lot. When he responded in the expected negative, I nodded with a smile, and said, "Thought so. Just wait, big man."
Needless to say, when he woke up today, his precious Yukon looked something like this:
User Reviews
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-11-29 02:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for trying so hard at my little game!
don't give up!
I gave you a clue, use it!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-11-21 19:34:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-21 15:53:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
She's the actress who plays Tim Allen's daughter. She hasn't really done anything else since.
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nuh uh - she was in Bring it on 3
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-21 17:18:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-11-21 16:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-21 15:12:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's a Hayden Panettiere?
Is that some kind of ghey sandwich?
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Pay attention bra-man. She's a hottie.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-21 15:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She's the actress who plays Tim Allen's daughter. She hasn't really done anything else since.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-21 15:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's a Hayden Panettiere?
Is that some kind of ghey sandwich?
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-11-20 22:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:32:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Heroes
I fucking love this show. Im watching it right now.
DONT DIE PETER! WHERE THE FUCK IS HIRO? WHY CANT MOHINDER JUST ACCEPT IT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Hiro is starting to piss me the fuck off!
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-20 22:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
very good, toe.
Probably cause it was on the tube.
+2's for life.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-11-20 22:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe Somebody
Yay for me!!!
Why the hell do i know this?
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I just reread my own comment, and all i can say is that I'm sorry for it.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No. Not heroes.
But that's a fucking awesome show, and i love you guys for it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhhhhh, is this a jgreening story?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Heroes
I fucking love this show. Im watching it right now.
DONT DIE PETER! WHERE THE FUCK IS HIRO? WHY CANT MOHINDER JUST ACCEPT IT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heroes.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-20 21:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2's for life if anyone gets this.