Over the Falls (222 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Parlor Trick (View user info) at 2006-11-21 04:10:31 EST
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
"We've been expecting you." The old man motioned in the direction of the straight back chair facing a heavy wooden desk where he sat in the center of the otherwise empty room. "We just need to get some information for our records before we proceed." The scene wasn't what I was expecting. But I wasn't expecting anything that had happened today. It had been one hell of a trip.
"You've had one hell of a trip." The old man said, smiling at me, blatantly plagiarizing my thought. "Robert Overcracker is it? Perhaps it's best if you start from the beginning." He suggested, which, was exactly where I was thinking I should begin.
-------------
Let me start by saying that if not for my friend Franklin I wouldn't be here. When I first met him I was about ten, playing by the pond at the old gravel pit behind my house. "Don't play by the pond," my mom had warned but she was too preoccupied being a single mom to pay much attention to the comings and goings of her only son.
I had used an old nail to poke a hole in the edge of my Frisbee. I tied a string to it and was giving toads and various crawly things ferry boat rides on the chilly water. The Frisbee floated on the surface some distance away. Flattened on the blue plastic, the nervous toad passenger waited for a change of circumstance, when, out of nowhere, Franklin showed up.
"Whatcha doin?" He asked, chewing on a blade of grass, bare feet sticking out from denim overalls. He was taller than I but seemed about my age.
"Nothing." I said, hiding the string behind my back.
Franklin stepped around me and looked in the direction of the pond his eyes following the length of the string. "Looks like you got a toad out there praying for his life. What did he do?"
"Huh?" I considered the possible crimes of a toad.
"Well he must've done something if you got him out there, his whole life hanging by a string."
"He didn't do nothing," I started to pull on the string, the plastic disk teetered in the water and the toad stiffened.
"Oh, I see what you're doing. You're saving him! You're giving him this day to see things differently. Look at him! Scared as hell but he's out there! You're helping him be something! To go where few toads have gone before!" Franklin jabbed his fists in the air and hollered in praise of the amphibian on the Frisbee. By the time the toad made it to shore I was hollering too.
Franklin had a way of spinning and I had a way of spinning right along with him. We went to different schools but in the summer we would agree to skip classes on the same day and meet at the pit.
"We're not skipping class, we're taking our education into our own hands. We are the Shepherds not the sheep!" Franklin would declare with divine conviction. "The Lord helps those who help themselves my dear friend. It's up to us to choose our path. Detention be damned!" And with a unifying high five we dove into the face of the sparkling water right about the time World History was starting.
I never met Franklin's parents, nor did I hear anything about their reaction after he spent a night in jail when he was nineteen for failing to stop promptly when approached by a police vehicle with flashing lights. We had been cruising around passing time before a movie, when the red and blue lights filled the rear window. I sat up straight in my seat and wondered if I was wearing clean underwear.
"Pull over." I said to Franklin, who just kept on driving continuing his explanation about how people need to lose their fear and know when to step off the beaten path. A spot light lit up the interior of the car and the voice on the loud speaker instructed us to pull over immediately, Franklin just raised his voice and continued, "Like Moses my friend, sometimes you have to make your own path."
He finished his point and pulled over shortly after the second cop showed up. "Sorry officers, we were engrossed in conversation," I heard him saying as he was pulled from the vehicle.
It had been almost three years since I had seen my fearless friend Franklin. After graduation I had fallen into the lethargic pattern of daily living. Selling insurance paid my rent and basic cable and kept me moving down the beaten path. I was sorting through yesterdays mail when my office intercom squeaked to life. "Rob? There's a 'Franklin' up here to see you."
I could hear him talking as I approached, "It's a personal emergency," Franklin was saying to Stella the oversized secretary at the front desk, "it's essential that he leave with me now." He looked up and winked at me as I rounded the corner.
"Well, he needs to talk to Mr...." she didn't finish her sentence before Franklin grabbed me by my elbow and ushered me towards the door.
"This is it Rob. This is what we've been waiting for." He picked up where we left off as if no time had passed between us. "The Lord has spoken my friend. He has shown me the way." It was barely eleven in the morning and uncharacteristically warm for the beginning of October in Michigan. Outside there was a blue S-10 pickup still running, driver's side door open and a Jet Ski tied in the back. Franklin climbed in the open door and said "All aboard to see the Lord!" And I slid in beside him.
"Franklin, good to see ya buddy, but you're not thinking were going to go ride that thing are ya? I have an appointment at 4:00 and..."
"You're not going to make it. We're going to Niagara."
"Ah...Niagara? The waterfalls? That's about five hours away! We can't..."
"Oh yes, my friend. We can. I have a mission and I need you to do it."
"What's up with the Jet Ski? Tell me you're not..."
"Hear me out, Mr. Overcracker, hear me out."
Franklin took the next few hundred miles explaining with a prophet's conviction that the very gates of heaven would be opening today, October 1st, before dark at the top of Horseshoe Falls. And while, even now, it sounds rather far fetched to say, it made sense at the time.
"Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." Franklin preached as the miles passed beneath us. "Genesis 1:20 says 'Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life.' And in Ephesians 5:26, '...sanctify and cleanse with the washing of water.' I have found hundreds of these references Rob. They all point to the same thing.
We came from the water and in order to be united with our Lord we must return to the water. There is no other way. Wait for the sign and go without hesitation. And if we do, if we seize our chance we are rewarded by walking in the divine garden with our father." He folded his hands in deference to the wisdom presented. "Rob, a week ago I was given a sign. The Lord came to me, he spoke to me, in a dream and assured me I would know what to do and when to do it. And this is it, today, with you. It's all coming together. Before sun fall, it's going to happen and you, my friend, are going to be there."
"A dream? This is based on a dream? It was all sounding good up until that."
"Well, that's where the faith part comes in my friend. The rest of it is clearly documented. But everyone knows you have to take a leap of faith to be graced with the glory of God. Just ask Abraham. Do you have faith my friend? Someday you're going to ask yourself that question."
"Are you sure you're not reading this thing wrong Franklin? I mean it's not unreasonable to think that you might just die going over a large water fall on a Jet Ski."
"I'm not wrong. But have no fear my friend, I have a helmet and a rocket propelled parachute, if things don't go as planned."
"You have a what?"
"A helmet."
"The parachute you ass! Where did you get a rocket propelled parachute?"
"Pawn shop. You can get anything from a pawn shop." He patted a small red backpack that looked to be no more than a child's book bag with a silver thermos.
"And how will you know if things aren't going as planned?"
"Well, if I fail to ascend into heaven in a great glorious cloud of mist, then things aren't going as planned."
"Franklin, seriously, what if you're wrong? What if this doesn't work?"
"Bet ya $20 it will." He said smiling.
"Isn't gambling the tool of the devil?"
"The Lord works in mysterious ways."
The blue pick up raced down Highway 420 in the direction of Niagara Falls, its driver smiling and singing the praises of the Lord, and by the time we entered Canada, I was singing his praises too. Every now and then Franklin would slap the seat and say, "This is it Rob! This is it. What we've been waiting for! Praise the Lord!"
Green road signs counted down our progress. 'Niagara Falls - Exit Roberts Street'. "See that? It's a sign Robert. You're supposed to be here participating in this great event! The time has come!"
As the words left his mouth, a car appeared behind us and red and blue lights filled the small cab of the truck. A siren followed, Franklin checked his mirror and kept right on driving.
Shortly before Exit 132 a second police car showed up and Franklin slowed the truck to a stop. He turned and faced me; "Looks like there's a change in plans Rob." He stated matter-of-factly. "You're going to have to take the lead on this one buddy. It's time to choose your path, make your mark. It's your turn to take the ferry. Don't miss your turn." His door was opened and he was escorted abruptly from the vehicle.
Several minutes passed. The sun drooped in the sky, threatening to leave and take the golden opportunity with it. The officer returned without Franklin. "Your friend there is crazy, mister. I don't know if you know that." The cop passed me my license through the window. Were going take him in and you can pick him up here," he poked his finger at an address on a form," in the morning." He passed the paper through the window. "You're free to go."
Morning was too late. I slid over the blue vinyl upholstery to the driver's side and watched the police car pull away with Franklin in the back, cuffed hands raised with two thumbs up, the string unrolling between us.
....
I shifted in my chair. It was getting hot in the confined room. The old man didn't' seem to notice. The processing was taking longer than I had hoped. With a wag of his fingers, the old man motioned for me to continue, "Go on," he leaned in closer and bridged his hands in the shape of a steeple, "please continue, I'm hanging on your every word. I assure you."
"Well there I was on the side of the road and I asked myself the question. What would Franklin do? And I made the decision right then to risk it all and demonstrate my faith in the Lord almighty.
The circle on Franklin's map indicated a spot on the Niagara River about a mile up from the Horseshoe Falls. A gravel drive curved from the main road and led to a tree-lined slope to the river. I backed the truck to the waters edge, put on the helmet and adjusted the red straps of the backpack over my arms. I angled the bed of the truck into the flowing water, turned off the engine and climbed from the cab to the Jet Ski in back. The key was in place and the Jet Ski engine roared to life. The river thundered its encouragement as the cold water filled my shoes and I released the ropes. Taken into the flow, I squeezed the throttle and flew with the rushing water into whatever waited over the falls.
And now here I am, just like Franklin said, although he didn't mention this administrative part. What do you call this place anyway? I can't wait to get started. Will I be seeing the gardens?"
"Oh...well the gardens and such are more for the brochures," the old man leaned back in his chair. "Perhaps our marketing people exaggerate slightly. We often have to use creative imagery to encourage participants. It's not easy getting people to do the Devil's stunts you know."
"Yeah, I can imagine. Ah...when you say 'the Devil' you mean 'the Lord' right?"
"No. I mean the red guy, the anti-Christ, you know, the Dark Angel." The old man's face split into a pointy grin, "Don't you know whether you're dealing with the Lord or with the Devil Robert?"
"No, no...it was the Lord, it was God in heaven who called us here! Franklin said it was. It is written, in Genesis...or Equestrians or something like that." I tried to stand up but couldn't.
"Tell me now Robert, would your Lord have you do a pointless stunt like go over a hundred and seventy foot water fall on a Jet Ski? Would the Lord make a mockery of a precious life like that? How beautifully wasteful." I felt sick to my stomach.
"Don't look so surprised. You chose your faith. You made your own decisions. One hell of a decision, I'll give you that." The old man stood up and took his time lighting a cigar.
"They'll come for you shortly," he blew smoke in my direction and before leaving the room said, "You owe me $20."
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-05 12:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2