Getting ready for Thanksgiving, and my other mother. (457 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Madame Destrukt (View user info) at 2006-11-22 03:19:23 EST
This is starting off topic, kinda. I've seen between mothers and daughters a physical relationship that I don't know how to comprehend. Before I had any reason to be disgusted by her, I never felt a reason to reach toward her, and as best I can remember, she never wanted to, or reached towards me.
It's been 10 years at least now with my foster mom. I was never in the foster system, a really great family took me in as a runaway. And that's a different story. To foster doesn't necessarily mean the system.
She's a nurse. She started in the Navy around the time Vietnam was going on. Beginning or tail end of it, I don't know, but she was around while some shit went down, that's for sure. I've never been good at history.
She always let me know she cared, without coming down on me for anything I did. She knew how to show me she thought I was better than what I was doing, without making me feel like a piece of shit for not doing my best in the first place. She knew how to let me learn from my own mistakes and trusted me to do so.
I met her when I was 15. I was 21 when I realized that she'd showed me what unconditional love meant. She didn't take long to show me these things, it took me a long time to realize them.
And I still don't know how to deal with it.
I don't know how to show her back that I love her.
She's the heart of her family. She's a heart for quite a few of us that are family without being blood. I'm not the only one that shows up for her on Thanksgiving just to say, even if we don't actually say it, that we're glad she's in our lives.
Just like I don't know how to say I love her, I don't know how to be like her. As a person, and as a mother. She's not perfect all the time, like any human, but if I could do as much good for, and bring as much warmth into as many peoples hearts as she has. That's something I've particularly learned from her boys.
Another child was nothing but potential to make their lives more strained. If it ever pulled at them, they never let me know. The three of them have each taken their own time to get to know me and appreciate me (as I've done them) on various levels. But none of them have ever made me feel unwanted. 10 years later my relationship is different with each, much more so, I'm sure, than if we'd all grown up together.
But they're all still my brothers. The oldest talks to me more honestly than most humans do, the youngest gives me a lot a comical grief, and the middle one, the one I've always had the hardest time connecting to although we were the same age, entrusted his wife, (me)meeting her for the first time on the wedding day, to help her thru the ceremony. It was a jewish ceremony, I was her something ....that sounded like a Dune race, (sho merit?) fuck, I'm not jewish! But I've tried to help her with the hebrew prayers I know for passover, or even just dinner prayer. Talk all the shit you want to about jews and money, but they're one of the few religions that believes you'll go to heaven by being a decent person without ever knowing religion. Find a Catholic or Christian who will tell you that!
What the hell was my point? Oh yeah! There are things such as trust, faith, respect, and values, that can still be learned. Obviously I'm falling far behind in these things. But when I believe in myself enough, I see this as a goal. I don't need to change the world, I just want to show the people I love that we can make it a better place, at least for each other.
I'll be going to a Thanksgiving dinner this Thurs and our table will be made up of 4 blood related persons and at least another 6 (including me) and probably another 6 over the night and possibly up to or more than another 4 people as guests over the evening.
The food is great. I can't say that it's not a draw, it's damn good. But no one comes there for the food alone. Faulty in various ways, Reuben was a good man before he passed, and Jane is a great woman. They raised amazing children which I'm easily the faultiest of (I was 16 when they took me in) that will (and already are) showing a sense of family and community with each other that's missing from common day society.
You can't just look out for your own back. Yeah, you should look out for your own back! And you should be cautious about who you let in around your back. But you have to let some people in. You have to.
You're still a solitary creature. We all are. Always. You may play a bigger part in the grand picture, but you have to weigh its worth. The desire to monitarily provide a good life can diminish you as a person down to nothing. A shadow in your loved ones lives.
I'd just be happier having my grandchildren tell their children how great of omelettes I used to make, and a few of the stories I used to tell. Hopefully ones that they find useful later in life.
I'd rather be inspiration to 2 than a notable name to 2 million.
How do I tell her how much I respect her, love her, and admire her, without sounding like a cheeseball. Ok, I'll sound like a cheeseball, how do I do it without sounding fake?
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-11-24 15:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-22 15:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hopefully, you've learned how to cook a turkey.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-22 15:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I "sense" that this post will have a few less "hits" than her last post.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-22 15:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The top was worth being able to read the comment below.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-22 08:08:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
What??? No tits?
No interest.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-11-22 11:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe she's on here right now. Then you'd have a Hallmark moment AND a common interest.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-11-22 11:14:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just fucking tell her.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-22 08:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't you just print this out and give it to her?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-22 08:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
What??? No tits?
No interest.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-22 07:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You say "Mom/Mum/Lady wot brought me up/Mother I respect you, love you, and admire you, I just wanted you to know that because I don't think I've expressed those feeling until now"
Job done.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-22 06:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Simple: You tell her after eating her "passed down from 4 generations stuffing" and you do it boisterously (to avoid sounding like a cheeseball) and after 2 bottles of wine (takes the edge off). "God Damn Sheryl(assuming that's her name), that fucking stuffing was great, just like you. Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me, you big waggling cunt sack, you? Well, you do, I just thought you should know."
After that, make sure you pass out from the trypthpan(sp.) so fast that your head smacks the table and you belch and pass gas in your turkey nap. I think it's a really well designed plan that lets them know, you know. Let me know how that works out.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-22 06:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice enough
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-22 04:32:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the way you express yourself and your opinions.