Don't F*ck with the Flib (SFW) (971 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.63 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mrs Flibble (View user info) at 2006-11-23 06:24:43 EST
My mate paid a stupid amount of cash on ebay for a cape. She's a fashion victim, don't ask... anyway, the seller royally shafted her by sending her a brown cape when it was advertised as black... Anyway, firstly my mate (we'll call her Patti) wanted it to go with a certain outfit. and secondly she's a single parent on benefits and so shouldn't have been spending her hand out cash on ebay crap anyway.
Knowing me and my copy of photoshop, Patti sent me a link for the item and asked me to check the pictures to see if it was brown in the picture. I restored the white balance using the radiator as a balance point...And sure enough, the colour picker shows it is indeed, brown.
This annoyed me. I hate to see any friends of mine shafted, so I agreed to make a couple of fake ebay accounts and bid on some of this seller's (we'll call her... Seller) items. Then to go through the whole "I'm going to pay you, need an address to send the cheque" balls.
NB: I'm British and Cheque is our word for Check 'cos we're a bunch of ponces who like to forget the amount of time we spent at war with the cowardly cheese-eaters by adopting many of their spellings. We also hang on to latin crap like "Et Cetera" and "Noto Bene" but we have no qualms about abreviating those to etc or &c and NB. Personally, I think the real reason we've not gone over to the easy spellings of words like "through" is because the government want to make life harder for the immigrants having to learn our language. Anyway, I digress.
Setting up the ebay accounts was slightly more difficult that I first thought, but once I worked out that if I swallowed my hatred of AOL and just knuckled down and got me some fake email accounts too, I didn't have to pass over bank details to "prove" who I was. To sign up to ebay I used the addresses and phone numbers of two chinese restaurants. It's going to be hillarious if Seller tries calling to have a go at her buyer!!!
Right then. My hairy little daughter having been put in bed, I set about winning the auctions. Not only did win, but the person who will be sent a second chance offer is also me so she's well and truely pwn3d.
Once I had won the auctions of two pieces of total tat, I got her address to send the cheque to... and set about making a cheque. Once it was printed, I did consider dipping it in baby shit as a final "f*ck you" but kind of thought that shafting her out of the excitement which follows the sale of one's items, and the cost of her ebay fees was pennance enough for her dirty deeds. It took a while to come up with a decent bank logo, but I thought a nicely stylised Goatse would fit in perfectly with the whole scheme.
This whole experience has taught me that AOL is important for one thing and one thing only... fake ebay accounts without having to give out bank details.
Since having Flibblespawn, I've not had much time to spend online doing such shit as writing on here... But she's napping at the moment and instead of doing the housework, I'm sat on my arse messing on the net. Sod the kitchen.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-13 19:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
disgusting
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-24 14:52:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
rad is not a tosser.
You are mean and I hope I never find you on ebay or raising additional children.
OH SNAP
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2006-11-24 14:10:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. i didnt spell the f word cos i wanted this to be SFW.
2. Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-24 04:18:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
hope you were smart enough to use fake return addresses on the outgoing mail
-------------------------------------
we don't use them in the UK, but the ebay acocunts both have fake addresses
3. rad, you're a tosser.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-24 04:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-24 03:49:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-23 11:20:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
For some reason this bothers me :(
===============
1. people on assistance spending money on ebay
2. getting so bent on such a trivial issue
3. being so inappropriately vindictive for such a minor thing.
4. assumming that another person was out to get them instead of making an honest mistake.
5. again, getting so upset over making an internet purchase of about $20
6. committing fraud
7. committing fraud for no gain, but rather to fuck with someone over something as trivial as selling an article of clothing a tinge lighter than the color advertised.
8. being as impulsive and childish as to not only commit fraud, but "pwn" somebody by writing up a fake check and sending it to them
---------------
AH YES
THAT MUST BE IT
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-24 04:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hope you were smart enough to use fake return addresses on the outgoing mail
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-24 04:00:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, and the apparent inability to spell out the f word annoys me.
OMG I JUST ANNOYED MYSELF
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-24 03:49:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-23 11:20:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
For some reason this bothers me :(
===============
1. people on assistance spending money on ebay
2. getting so bent on such a trivial issue
3. being so inappropriately vindictive for such a minor thing.
4. assumming that another person was out to get them instead of making an honest mistake.
5. again, getting so upset over making an internet purchase of about $20
6. committing fraud
7. committing fraud for no gain, but rather to fuck with someone over something as trivial as selling an article of clothing a tinge lighter than the color advertised.
8. being as impulsive and childish as to not only commit fraud, but "pwn" somebody by writing up a fake check and sending it to them
---
I know I'd hate to reinforce a sterotype, but is this what they were talking about when they talk about Essex Girls?
Or Chav?
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-11-23 23:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cute, its even better if this person had one of those automated accounts that automatically posts like 40 things a day, so they would be losing a shitload in listing fees "nickle and diming" their "misrepresenting in the ad" ass
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-23 11:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For some reason this bothers me :(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-23 10:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-23 07:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Personally, I think the real reason we've not gone over to the easy spellings of words like "through" is because the government want to make life harder for the immigrants having to learn our language. Anyway, I digress. "
No it isnt, its to prove our superiority over those blasted colonials, by jove!
---
Need I remind you that these colonial bastards kicked England's ass in the Revolutionary War?
Yeah, bitch, what now?
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-11-23 08:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-23 07:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Personally, I think the real reason we've not gone over to the easy spellings of words like "through" is because the government want to make life harder for the immigrants having to learn our language. Anyway, I digress. "
No it isnt, its to prove our superiority over those blasted colonials, by jove!
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2006-11-23 07:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
seller refused to refund. was paid for by cheque so she couldnt even get a paypal refund. ebay bastards and wouldnt get involved.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The "its brown damnit" and the "a freakishly large some of money for what is obviously tat" did make me laugh.
However, your friend could have got her money back, and brought a real coat if she'd sent it back. It was advertised incorrectly - and therefore not suitable for the purpose which it was purchased.
As for this outfit it was supposed to go with - did it have pants outside of tights?
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
I commend your vindictive design skills!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am put off by so many things here I don't know where to begin.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice work.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Ebay
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good skills. I could never figure out how to get pics like this onto Uber back in the day.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84512
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-23 06:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK