(SPT) - Shit Post Thanksgiving (395 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: SPT
Rating: 1.37 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-11-23 08:50:16 EST
So it's Thanksgiving...
I'm not going into see my family until tomorrow. For the last few years we've always had Thanksgiving either on Wednesday or Friday. On Thursday, my family helps out at the local "Point Of Light" in our town. It's kinda like a soup kitchen-y thing, but mostly deals with feeding the elderly and the ill. We've been doing it for a number of years now, my brothers and I delivering meals all about the Tri-State area all day. My mom just doesn't have time to cook on Thursdays.
Wednesday ended up being too hectic for a number of the family this year, so we all decided to move it to Friday. My next youngest brother, the one I live with, is spending today with his girlfriend's family. I was going to make the trip in myself, but it seems that a local Boy Scout group got conned into helping down at the Point Of Light this year, so they have all the drivers that they need. In the end, I get to spend a nice, quiet day to myself here at home. I'm quite content with that.
Thanksgiving has become a ridiculous holiday at my parent's home. My mom and dad have five son's, with me being the oldest at 29, the youngest at 15. We only have one Grandparent left, and my Grandma is in her mid - 80's. That's fun. My father was an only child and my mom's only brother died almost three decades ago without any children of his own. We make up for it by having all the girlfriends over.
When all the boys are together, mischief soon follows. My dad doesn't help matters in the least. One of our favorite past times is tormenting our poor mother. That, and stabbing each other with the turkey fork. Our dad tries to play some bizarre random semi-classical CD that he bought off the PBS website at three in the morning while my mom was asleep and Grandma promptly forgets all of our names. One brother, will at some point, proposition another brother's girlfriend for oral sex much to everyone's delight except for the mortified young lady.
After dinner, the elder boys will trek out to the front porch so we can smoke, listening to our mother screech at us the whole time. According to her, we're trying to cover up the taste of her meal. If my dad can sneak out, he'll join us for a cigarette before mom can catch him. Now that he's retired from teaching, he's in the process of building a giant woodshop in the backyard. I have no doubt he'll suddenly decide he has to "show us something" out back after we eat.
In the past, after dinner I would track down various friends who had been scattered abroad to hang out with them. The last couple of year though, I've felt more like spending time with my family. I don't necessarily know if it's because I'm getting older, or if because they are. I know that I can end up laughing like a lunatic at their antics. Actually, my brother and I have thought about introducing booze into the mix this year after dinner to see what happens.
I'm really the only one in the family that drinks, however. My parents never really consumed much alcohol. Hell, two malt beverages and my mom is tanked. The brother right after me is on some medication for his liver, so he doesn't drop 'em back much. The two brothers after that are just lame. I'm gonna have to figure out some yummy shit to take in and mix for my parents so they'll actually drink it. Ameretto Sours or something equally stupid.
Well, I suppose that's it really. I hope all you sick freaks have/had a great day consuming a gluttonous amount of food. You can have my helping of cranberry sauce... I never really cared for the stuff.
User Reviews
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-11-24 08:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-23 17:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love cranberry sauce!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-11-23 14:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Family dysfunctions are fun at times. I, like you, am finding that I look forward to those more so than getting together with friends. You could be right about knowing in the back of your mind that you haven't much time left with certain family.
The booze thing is a great idea. I'm jealous of all you Yanks having the day off. *sulks*
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-23 13:27:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you can afford to miss a meal...just saying, is all :)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-23 13:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know what you're saying...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-23 10:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like cranberry sauce, either. Or stuffing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-23 09:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The faces at our table have changed so much over the years, but I'm thankful for each of them- whether they stay for just one or for years to come. Same goes for you people and this site where every day is some perverse or silly or really shitty holiday. Happy Thanksgiving, darlin'.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-23 09:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment