UberMadness IV - Round Five Analysis (9402 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.11 on 467 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2006-11-27 08:19:09 EST
Round five is over. Round six is about to begin. We're hitting the home stretch. The high stakes. The great battles of our time. Who will continue? Who has fallen? All that, updated bracket, and how to clean your bathroom on a budget below:
WHO WROTE WHAT? WHO WON? (WINNERS ON TOP)
Pentameter
Ghola
High Stakes
Jack_McCallum
stevie_says
Titan
Stagger_Lee
Shaun_Rocks
Plan of Action
Hirilnara
Domenad
Victim of Progress
charmingly beef
Coyote
Never Again
ParlorTrick
DrogoRoch
Over the Falls
JMG114
Coley
Twilight Lost
JoeyG
Crystle
Hardcore
FunnyAsCancer
NerfHerder
Deep Forest
Kaos-King
Coleslaw_Murphy
Almost Full
JMG's ROUND FIVE FAVORITES
Stevie_says's Titan
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95993 (Entry 2)
With just enough imagination to hint at a much larger world, Steve takes you on a trip through a future where things seem at once strangely familiar and yet not all as they seem to be. Superbly crafted and well worth your time.
NerfHerder's Deep Forest
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96018 (Entry 2)
A forest glade that isn't all it appears to be is the setting for NerfHerder's latest opus. It may be his UberMadness swan song this time around, but its dreamy story blurs the line between fantasy and reality in ways you may not expect.
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ROUND SIX?
Next round starts on Tuesday Noon Nov 28 (tomorrow) and ends Tuesday Noon Dec 5. Voting ends Noon Friday Dec 8.
There will be six match-ups this round. Six chances to read, vote, and tell the Ubersite writers of YOUR CHOICE that you like their stuff. This is your opportunity to read brand-new, original material from Kaos, Pentameter, ParlorTrick, Hirilnara, McCallum, Stagger_Lee, charminglybeef, me, ghola, JoeyG, Stevie, and FAC. We'll be writing our brains out so take your time, relax, and enjoy the show.
User Reviews
Submitted by dluther31 (user info) at 2007-05-18 07:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting essay analysis like at http://www.essaybuzz.com
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-14 16:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more rape...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-14 02:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 23:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
An fuck the uberbroad!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 23:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am officially drubk.
And smoking a cigraterret.
Life is goof
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-13 22:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find concentration camp stories to be among the most disturbing. The amount of hate and pain people can harness towards each other is apalling, and very truly scary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:19:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
That reminds me... Somewhere on my hard drive I have at least two stories that were so grotesque I never even finished them. One was set at a concentration camp.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 18:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Har Har McCheatum's taking his old alter Wisher out for a spin (you should have her vote in UM)
--
News flash - Wisher isn't my alter. I'm pretty sure she isn't an alter at all.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 18:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To the dumb shit who posted this on the uberboard...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2241423 McCallum = Wisher RATINGS BOOST WOOT
I outed the alter in question (one dead for almost two years now) shortly after the comment in question. Jesus, get a life.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 17:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 16:42:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait until pictures are fixed, I can't!
Just Photobucket that shit, yo, I don't mind downloading it.
--
Does ANYONE know who this kid is talking to?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-13 17:23:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fictures are pixed! fictures are pixed!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 16:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait until pictures are fixed, I can't!
Just Photobucket that shit, yo, I don't mind downloading it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
============
Read below.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
--
Snark says he's gonna go 'hunting' for it, but for some reason I doubt him...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, Snark, that when women say, "I think we should take a break," it means it's all over, everything is down the shitter.
Are you a woman, Snark? Or are you gonna man up and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!!
*inspirational sports-movie music*
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
dadada
dadada
dah-daaaa dah-daaaa!
===================
No point in submitting graphics until the site is working. Work has calmed down and I'm getting the info together for JMG now.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
--
That reminds me... Somewhere on my hard drive I have at least two stories that were so grotesque I never even finished them. One was set at a concentration camp.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, Snark, that when women say, "I think we should take a break," it means it's all over, everything is down the shitter.
Are you a woman, Snark? Or are you gonna man up and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!!
*inspirational sports-movie music*
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
dadada
dadada
dah-daaaa dah-daaaa!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 03:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-13 00:53:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
So umm... did we decide to just end UM where it's at? I'm not complaining, just kinda curious.
~~~
Dibs on the official title.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-13 00:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So umm... did we decide to just end UM where it's at? I'm not complaining, just kinda curious.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-12 15:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-12 12:37:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S MA TITLE?
--
The Priapistic Puritan
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-12 12:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S MA TITLE?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-12 06:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
--
I just woke up from the strangest dream. If I write it out, it will gross you out.
3:30am and raining like a motherfucker.
I also woke up from a dream around midnight. That one will be my Ubermas entry now that I can tie it to a title Davros gave me.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This uberboard business is rather amusing.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Time off will seriously kill this thing dead.
FOOLS MWA HA HA HA HAA
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-11 14:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-10 17:01:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo and Method are now uberenemies?
FINALLY.
It's the clash of the titans I've been waiting years for.
------
I BID 200 QUATLOOS ON THE LARGE-CRANIUMED ONE
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:36:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
We've got heads on sticks...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-11 09:21:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
YOURE GOING DOWN, YOU FAT HEADED TEXAN BRIT
ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG
--
You're gonna need a bigger stick.
http://www.twoatlarge.com/usa_trip/california-pix-9.html
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We've got heads on sticks...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-11 09:21:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOURE GOING DOWN, YOU FAT HEADED TEXAN BRIT
ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-11 03:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Round wrap-up will be delayed a day guys. Crazy time here regarding work and the sale of the company I work for.
JMG will post it when he gets the info from me.
I'll give details regarding the holidays as well.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-10 17:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo and Method are now uberenemies?
FINALLY.
It's the clash of the titans I've been waiting years for.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-10 16:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end. """
WHAT THE FUCK???
They are NOT me. Since when have I been anoymous about giving Jack shit?
Also Jack do you recall I knew about this over a year ago and sent you an email of congratulations i even said I was considering it myself.
Why would I do all this now? I've got better things to do on a weekend.
Fuck off Method. I've put ONE comment from you about your crusty faced hop along chum.
Gaylord.
We are now uberenemies.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-12-10 14:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
------------
I did.
Oh no actually I didn't, but I read it anway and would reccomend it to anyone who enjoys Uber.
It *WILL* appeal to your interests.
Read This Book.
-Dave
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 12:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Check your email, beefy.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 11:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:21:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record, I'm not asking McCallum to read anything of mine -- I think he's made it pretty clear he hates my writing.
I was just interested in his experiences with self-publishing.
-
Hahaha! I don't hate your writing, man. That one word jarred me,* but overall I've enjoyed your stuff, especially for a newcomer to uber.
* The P word. I would feel wrong about using it, but I think that charminglybeef is 'taking it back' by throwing it in our faces and sticking it to the man!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record, I'm not asking McCallum to read anything of mine -- I think he's made it pretty clear he hates my writing.
I was just interested in his experiences with self-publishing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end.
--
Sorry, man.
Damn, that's some obsessive behavior.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 23:24:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: My name is Earl Scheib and I'll publish any book for $49.95 !!! WOOT !!! - (V)
--
Anonymity means not leaving a signature...
------
Wasn't me, Jack, I don't really care enough to spend a dollar on the uberboard. In fact, I didn't even know about your book until someone put that up there, and I went ahead and read the excerpt, which was excellent. I might just pick up a copy.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-10 04:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
everybody...has a story
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 23:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: My name is Earl Scheib and I'll publish any book for $49.95 !!! WOOT !!! - (V)
--
Anonymity means not leaving a signature...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Regarding the comment from KAOS...
I am working on novels that I'm gonna push. Uber is just blowing off steam, clearing the pipes. It's not like I'm going to try to sell a short story I wrote on my lunch hour. But if I did want to, we retain the rights to everything here, and it's not like the whole world is looking at Uber...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:27:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
So lemme see if I understand...
You're saying I'm bipolar...because at first, I argued for Jack's honor, because he is a decent writer...
But now that everyone knows Jack has a book published, and are jumping on the bandwagon, I'm not allowed to be skeptical of this overhyped bullshit. Because I think it's stupid, that out of the blue, everyone suddenly wants Jack's advice, while up until finding out he was published, criticized him, or at least didn't respect him.
But whatever, you wanna label me bipolar because of that, fine. I wouldn't want to get into a heated argument, and give more "proof" to my disorder.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wanted to know why Jack chose to go with XLibris over some of the competitors out there, such as LuLu.com. I'm probably doing much the same thing because it would seem posting crap on Uber is considered "previously published" by many Houses. I figure if I'm already going to catch hell for being self-published online, I might as well collect my best work, put it into book form and make some money off of it.
I have enough pieces backlogged to create two distinct anthologies and I can rework "Diary Of A Kaote" into a novel easily. By that time, I can take my 87,000 word novel, (which no part has EVER appeared online, except for some random illustrations) and track myself down a lit agent. The best part about places like XLibris and LuLu are that the creator retains EXCLUSIVE ownership. This means if you do eventually get picked up by a big House, they can purchase the rights for a 2nd printing off of you.
I've always been a big fan of McCallum's and I knew he published a book over a year ago. I only brought it up again because I'm literally get ready to produce my book in the next 2 months. I'm probably not going to go with XLibris because I want a bit more control over my cover - I commissioned an original painting for the cover art. Plus, I know how to do layout and design work.
It really is a bitch to get your name out there these days: I know, I've been trying for three years. The market is actually suffering thanks to places like Amazon.com and the like. Houses want to go with big names or sure sales only, and I can understand that. With places like XLibris and LuLu.com, you pay out a slight bit, make a decent amount back, bulk your sales and build a name for yourself... then market yourself to a big House.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88
I can live with that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Uberboard makes it even easier for assholes to be anonymous...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing for our uberboard user...
Since you find using a service like Xlibris hilarious, can you send me a link to your book? The one published by a 'real' publishing house that took you on after you got an agent? That would be helpful. Thanks.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard - They charge extra for a decent cover. Hilarious !!! http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2249806
Yeah. They do. It's called 'business.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoever posted this shit on the Uberboard has obviously never tried to get an agent.
You don't know what you're talking about, so blow it out your ass, you anonymous chickenshit.
How to get published: SEND MONEY TO COMPANIES THAT PREY ON DESPERATE WRITERS (or get a lit agent)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:11:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I submit 'Puddinger' as the title for the final.
--
Fucking Awesome...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So lemme see if I understand...
You're saying I'm bipolar...because at first, I argued for Jack's honor, because he is a decent writer...
But now that everyone knows Jack has a book published, and are jumping on the bandwagon, I'm not allowed to be skeptical of this overhyped bullshit. Because I think it's stupid, that out of the blue, everyone suddenly wants Jack's advice, while up until finding out he was published, criticized him, or at least didn't respect him.
But whatever, you wanna label me bipolar because of that, fine. I wouldn't want to get into a heated argument, and give more "proof" to my disorder.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my muthafuckin birthday!!!
+2's all around!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I was being sarcastic. Sarcastically commenting. People do it allllll the time here on Uber.
I really don't get how that's bipolar.
************
Read all of your comments on this post. See how they swing from far left to the far right?
That's where the bipolar came from....
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I was being sarcastic. Sarcastically commenting. People do it allllll the time here on Uber.
I really don't get how that's bipolar.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAC: Commenting? "Oh, what an honor" smacks of sarcasm more than it does of an innocent
comment. I think you realy may be bipolar.
<I am not!>
<Yes, I am>
<No I'm not>
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:15:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
~~~
?
I was just commenting on how all of sudden everyone's like, "OMG JACK READ MY STORY."
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I submit 'Puddinger' as the title for the final.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
********************
Puddinger shall become the most used word in the world. It can be a noun, verb, adverb,
adjective, or an interjection. What possibilities!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 17:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
___________________
Then don't send him your shi...er...story.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Jack, copy the rest of us on that would ya?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
McCallum, I asked you something similar, but I guess you forsaw my use of the word 'puddinger' and decided not to respond.
I too would be very keen on hearing about your experience.
thewerdisberd.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 14:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw shit...
I think I'm up against Stevie next round.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 14:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have mail.
V
V
V
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey Jack, I'm going to be doing some stuff in the next 2 months and I could really use some of your sage advice.
How have things worked out for you with your book? Do you have a positive outlook on the experience?
How do you feel about XLibris? What about LuLu.com?
E-Mail me at antius777.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter for Uberlady!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Roll Call
kaos_king
FUNNY AS CANCER
*weeps*
Dead Languages
joeyG
STEVIESAYS
*weeps*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Paradox
stagger_lee
CHARMINGLYBEEF
--
*weeps*
No offense, Beef.
*weeps*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is correct:
Archipelago
PARLOR TRICK
ghola
All For One
pentameter
JACK McCALLUM
Roll Call
kaos_king
FUNNY AS CANCER
The Hate Game
JMG114
hilinara
Paradox
stagger_lee
CHARMINGLYBEEF
Dead Languages
joeyG
STEVIESAYS
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:58:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
There were some people whose vote I was really proud to get competing against charminglybeef. You probably know who you are. Thanks.
Good luck for the comp, beef.
*****
At the end of the World, God will know I voted for Stagger_Lee.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How about the old saying: You can't judge a book by its cover?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 03:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
___________________________________________________
Worst cover in the history of publishing...
ever.
--
Yes and no, KK.
You have to pay EXTRA to use your own art, and I'm a cheap bastard. And if you look at Xlibris and see some of the god-awful in-house covers some people get, you'll see I came out OK.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 00:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everytime I think of a professionally-published Jack McCallum, I think of the basketball editor who writes for Sports Illustrated.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/archives/jack_mccallum/
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
___________________________________________________
Worst cover in the history of publishing...
ever.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just noticed the Uberboard.
Why buy this kind of publicity when others will buy it for you?
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There were some people whose vote I was really proud to get competing against charminglybeef. You probably know who you are. Thanks.
Good luck for the comp, beef.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-08 19:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUNNYASCANCER
Kaos-King
Roll Call
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-08 18:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:27:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacrilicious -- I knew you knew which was mine and Stagger's. I noticed you had voted for all the others and I was beginning to wonder if you would even bring yourself to vote at all.
===
I had almost no trouble calling the pairs this round. The lapse between my votes was based mostly on the fact that I tend to leave the longer entries until later. But for possibly the first time in UM, for a minute I actually did consider not voting on the pair; I really liked both your entries. But I didn't think that was fair either, so I womanned up and cast one.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 18:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wrote what?
--
Get the hell off my lawn, ya little punk.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wrote what?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What a fuck-a-roo!!!
FAC's get what they want cause they earned it...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-08 16:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Why forsake me?"
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the 3 hours I had, it wasn't bad. I really hate it when work gets in the way of my creative pursuits.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, P. Yours was just great.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You really kicked my ass Jack. Your story was excellent. Too bad I didn't really have a lot of time to write...I think my idea, if properly fleshed out, would have really been great.
Maybe I'll start the novella in my spare time.
Like in a few months or so.
Congrats!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
UBERMADNESS HAS NO EXIT STRATEGY!!!
Don't cut and run, you pussies!!!
Stay the course!!!
You have expended young lives, not to mention blood and treasure; to pull out now would mean the fallen entrants will have lost in vain.
Some of the stories still suck, by the way.
Three or four decent entries, tops. Every goddamn round.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:56:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
A delay might rekindle some interest in the contest... or it might kill whatever momentum currently exists.
Either way, I'm no help.
--
A delay would kill it dead.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A delay might rekindle some interest in the contest... or it might kill whatever momentum currently exists.
Either way, I'm no help.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:35:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
--
Yes. We all decided you are puddinger.
---
Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
==========
There are only about 50 individuals voting, including the participants. So what if it dwindles to 30?
END THIS MADNESS!
On the other hand, at least the entrants are trying to post something decent, which is a good thing.
Don't take a break, have this competition every goddamn day.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
-------------
Not that I matter too much for anything, but I won't be around then. I always seem to miss the very ends of these things.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
--
Yes. We all decided you are puddinger.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacrilicious -- I knew you knew which was mine and Stagger's. I noticed you had voted for all the others and I was beginning to wonder if you would even bring yourself to vote at all.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
---------------------------------
REALLY!??!! Damnit all. I may just have to start liking you CB.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure I got all the pairs guessed right. So far, I have. Expose yourselves!
And your entries.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh ghola. I'm... sorry.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mine was the awful one. "so i shot him"
better than a forfeit, right?
RIGHT???
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wept openly.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:31:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
You ass, I submitted that message at noon and a quarter.
<---smart.
--
Admit it. You puckered.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You ass, I submitted that message at noon and a quarter.
<---smart.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lies...
Right?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
AHAHAHA!!!
CHECK YOUR CLOCK YOU CLOWN!!!
YOU JUST DISQUALIFIED YOURSELF AND STAGGER!!!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:11:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--
Thanks to the socialist anti-Christian liberal left in this country we no longer celebrate Christmas in America, so a lot of us will be sitting around and killing time.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Calling Brian Blessed!
Get in here and tell these pantywaists to stop whining!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-07 22:13:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, couldn't have taken a break last week, when every college student on the face of Earth had finals, could ya Snark?
Silly holiday-celebraters.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:10:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--------------------------
I like the idea. It's nice to have a break.
-------------------------
Agreed. Things don't settle down for most people until after the new year.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 05:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I quit drinking because I thought I worked today.
TURNS OUT I DON'T.
AND THAT DRAG SHOW WAS RIGGED!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a charming..(Erm...)childrens morality tail...(or 'stach, as it were.)
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-07 23:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Accessible Morality: Johnny Bigote
There once was a boy named Johnny Bigote. Johnny used to be made fun of by all of his classmates because he was only five years old, but he had a big bushy moustache. None of the kids would ever play with Johnny except for a game called 'Rotten Johnny Moustache-cakes', where they all joined hands and encircled Johnny, teasing him unmercifully.
Johnny would go home every night and cry to his mom and dad, both of whom also had large, stately moustaches.
"Everyone at school hates me!" Johnny would cry. "And it's all because of this stupid moustache. Sometimes I wish I never had a moustache at all," and he would run to his room. Before he slammed the door he would yell, "I wish you could have just married a man without a moustache, mom, so that I wouldn't be stuck with one too."
His parents would be hurt of course, but having been through the same thing themselves, all they could do was offer him direction and hope he came of age, as all good Bigote's did.
"You know Johnny," his father would mumble from the hair beneath his nose, "when I was a boy I was teased a lot too. All of the Bigote men were. And most of the women. And eventually, what all of us learned is that having a moustache so prodigious is not a detriment at all, but an asset. Why, your great grandfather Billiam was a famous general in the Civil War. And his son was an organ-grinder, and my dad does Rollie Fingers impressions and I as you know, am the greatest Penny-farthing rider in the whole world."
At this Johnny's weeping would turn to sniffles, and he would rub at his nose and clear his eyes.
"I know dad, but it's just so hard."
"I know it is Johnny -- I know. But you've gotta stick with it kid, and one day it will all be worth it."
Keeping this in mind, little Johnny Bigote endured a torturous year of kindergarten -- one that he was very glad to see over.
In the last week of school, his classmates decided to have an enormous party. On the playground and in the cloak room Johnny would hear them planning, but he never got invited. Everyone got invited. Even Sally Rocek with the uncontrollable bowels. Little Johnny was very hurt, even though he hated every one of his classmates. Something in Johnny made him feel that this was a very important part of his life, that he shouldn't miss out.
So one day, overhearing the most popular kids in class discussing the party, Johnny got an idea.
"But where are we gonna get the liquor?" lamented Eddie Thomas.
"It simply won't be a party without hooch!" squealed Cecily Cardew.
Sitting at the dinner table that night, his parents asked him the same questions they asked him every night:
"So how was school today, Johnny?"
Naturally, they were quite surprised to hear their son reply, "Oh, excellent, mom and dad! I overheard the kids talking about the year-end party, and I think I just might be able to put my moustache to use!"
"Oh, that's wonderful son!" they both exclaimed, and they pressed no further.
The next day, Johnny Bigote didn't come home right after school. He went instead, to the liquor store by his house.
"Why hello there sir. Throwing a bit of a party?"
"You betcha," said Johnny Bigote. "It's gonna be one hell of a piss-up."
"Well, you take care now. Good day!"
And just like that, Johnny walked out, vodka and whiskey and rum and gin and vermouth and all the beer he could fit into the shopping cart in tow.
The next day was the day of the big party. All the cool kids looked bored and morose and spoke glibly of the event. That's when Johnny made his entrance.
"Hello everyone," he said coolly.
"Hey get out of here, 'Little Johnny Moustache-cakes'," said Eddie Thompson.
Cecily Cardew snickered.
"Oh, I'll leave if you want," conceded Johnny, "but then I guess I'd have to take ALL THIS BOOZE WITH ME!"
And all the children stop and stared. Eddie Thompson sidled up beside him and the room was silent, waiting on his decree. "You know Johnny, you're all right," and the entire classroom cheered.
Drinks were served and good fun was had all around. Johnny grinned from ear to ear, nursing a vodka stinger with a whiskey back. He basked in the growing drunk and the copious praise.
But then Johnny grew sad. And disillusioned. And disgusted.
"These people were never my friends," he thought. "They were the ones that kicked me and spat on me and tugged at my whiskers. And now, only after I have brought them all this booze do they treat me like a human being.
"I have indeed learned something from my moustache," he thought, "and that is that it takes a strong man to fit in, a stronger man to be different, and the strongest man of all to be different and proud."
And with that, Johnny Bigote walked down the dusty path and back to his house -- the liquor and understanding warming his insides.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-07 22:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, couldn't have taken a break last week, when every college student on the face of Earth had finals, could ya Snark?
Silly holiday-celebraters.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, for a good ten minutes today I thought you accidentally exposed yourself.
I mean your entry.
Turns out I just need to pay more attention.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ziss is KAOS, Shtarker. Ve don't 'break' here!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell, I don't even know how long "The Secret Uber Wars" series is gonna last, and I'm writing one ever day.
Yeah, a break would be nice in UM4.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--------------------------
I like the idea. It's nice to have a break.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-07 08:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can hardly wait for round six, especially since thing going on the front page now are shit...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Futter.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Roger
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fucker!
... or something.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rut.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Copulate Furiously.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Screw.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I was thinking about writing that on every story I reviewed.
"Pretty sure number two's McCallum..."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course, it's driving me nuts trying to figure which one is you and Stagger...
V
V
V
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:24:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
I'm guessing #2's McCallum.
-
Just give up, dude.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
reminds me of something Richard M. Nixon said a long time ago
<kick>
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:00:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
anything's better than a forfeit, right?
(i had finals this week. ughgughg.gag)
------------------
Between the 13 proposals I have to get out by next Friday, the dozens of people I need to research, plus the craziness that is going on in my personal life, I'm surprised I was able to even write anything that made an ounce of sense.
I may have to withdraw from the next round because I don't see me having the time to continue.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH!
I go away for 12 hours and come back to what looks like some fine reading and NO forfeits!
Thanks, fellow writers!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm wishing I would have forfeited.
God dammit all to hell.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anything's better than a forfeit, right?
(i had finals this week. ughgughg.gag)
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-05 09:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 02:49:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you, Jared, now I've got to listen to that song.
----------------------------------------------------
I can only listen to that song as sung by William Shatner. Once you've been spoiled, you can never go back.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 02:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you, Jared, now I've got to listen to that song.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man
And I think it's gonna be a long long time...
- Elton John, Rocket Man
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
got damn.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, just you.
But that's ok. Take your time. I don't mind if you need another...21 hours or so to finish.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I see everyone is waiting until the last minute again...
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-04 07:15:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
------
Rock n roll.
--
into the future?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*tapping fingers impatiently on desk*
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well over 300 reviews, and at least a quarter of them have got to be Jack_McCallum.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
24 fuckin hours to go and not even 1 of 6 stories is up? What the fuck?
Fuck you. And you too, you gaping asshole.
Fucking Monday morning, fuck.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-04 07:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
------
Rock n roll.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 03:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't give up.
Give me head instead.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-04 03:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mine's halfwritten and I might finish it tomorrow night!
OR maybe I'll just GIVE UP.
SLUT!
SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I finished!
Let the proofreading begin!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm having trouble with this one. Not a terribly friendly title, is it Stagger?
Might be all you mate.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-03 17:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:31:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, a namedrop on the uberboard via this post..and I'm not even competing in UM. You'd think you could find a more relevant example to support whatever the hell your point is supposed to be.
********
I don't know what the fuck their point was supposed to be. It's my review, so they may be connecting it to my name on the Uberboard. Sure glad someone likes to spend money on that shit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-03 17:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-03 06:00:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
A really big glass of ice cold chocolate milk always tastes better at 3am
Why is that?
*********
Well, in my case, I spike it with a couple ounces of peppermint schnapps...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, a namedrop on the uberboard via this post..and I'm not even competing in UM. You'd think you could find a more relevant example to support whatever the hell your point is supposed to be.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberboard wasn't me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-03 06:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A really big glass of ice cold chocolate milk always tastes better at 3am
Why is that?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
---------------------------------
See...I just got distracted for about 2 hours...and I'm going to be distracted for a few more.
It's going to be a while, my dear. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day for me so I don't know how much time I'll have to actually sit down. I write better under pressure anyway. I want to at least make you a little bit nervous...and at this point, my idea is pretty good but my mojo ain't flowin'.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 16:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
--
You let that shit into your house and the Illuminati Mind Controllers can enter your brain.
Fuck that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
********
Too bad Jack doesn't play golf. Then he could be REALLY pathetic...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My title ended up being kinda cool after all...
FAC is still gonna kick my ass.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
*********
I had a minth once, but someone stole it....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
--
You mangy old bastard...
********
Elderly son of an unmarried female is the preferred term , ya young punk....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's hope ThinkWord has $%$#ing spellcheck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
--
You mangy old bastard...
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:44:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope Pantymeter is working on her damn story.
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what are we looking at here, 70 or so hours until the R5 deadline?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what are we looking at here, 48 hours until the first R5 post goes up?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
*************************
Who can point out the grammar/spelling error in this review?
--
A better question would be who can point out one of my reviews, or posts, that does not have an error in it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
*************************
Who can point out the grammar/spelling error in this review?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-01 20:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:01:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee
I tried to be subtle. No one reads UM hub comments anyway, right? Sometimes I'm too resourceful (bored) for my own good.
-------
not subtle enough.
and yeah i'm lame enough to read the comments.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 19:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:51:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
I just won the office 50/50 draw.
Two Hunned and Forty smackers to beat my liver with.
--
Well happy fucking Friday. Damn.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
I just won the office 50/50 draw.
Two Hunned and Forty smackers to beat my liver with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee
I tried to be subtle. No one reads UM hub comments anyway, right? Sometimes I'm too resourceful (bored) for my own good.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OUTED!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna go have lunch at Boudin* today.
(BooDEH for Caulaincourt, BoDEEN for the rest of us.)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope Pantymeter is working on her damn story.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:36:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
hey-Jack-I-wanna-XXXXX-you
--
We can discuss how I might sate your needs another time, but what I need to know right now is how in the hell did...
Oh.
Boy, is my face red.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey-Jack-I-wanna-XXXXX-you
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:17:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Searched for a particular term in your excerpt. One result, silly. Can you GUESS which one it was?
;)
--
I have NO idea. I thought I picked a fairly obscure yet disgusting excerpt.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Searched for a particular term in your excerpt. One result, silly. Can you GUESS which one it was?
;)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:32:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoaaaaa Lili
(Before my time)
--
HOW did you KNOW that?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoaaaaa Lili
(Before my time)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well shit, I just noticed that someone dropped a dollar on my behalf...
Uberboard: WHOGIVESAFUCKUBERMADNESSISAJOKEGETALIFE - JMCCALLUM
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:44:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Immygirl14?
--
Nope.
Here's and excerpt from one of 'her' posts.
~
He smiled again and said "I like to be peed on." Just like that.
My God! I didn't know what to say for a second. I mean, I was disgusted. Its one thing if some guy in a club has had too many drinks and starts the old hey-baby-I-wanna-XXXXX-you thing, but in the middle of the supermarket parking lot with moms and kids around? I look down and he opens one hand and shows me a wad of money, $20s and $10s. I also saw he was wearing a wedding ring.
I said, "Gee, what about your wife?"
And like without even blinking he says, "She takes the pictures."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:52:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:48:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:17:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum = Carolrichards
____________
I always thought Jack was Mistress Fist...
--
I was neither. I did have a girl alter, but only for about 5 posts. Although one of them got nearly a hundred replies in a short time...
-------
Immygirl14?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:44:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even though my story is nearly done, I KEEP CHECKING MY TITLE to make sure I didn't imagine its sheer awfulness.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Now that I'm done with this... http://www.ubersite.com/m/96394
I no longer have any excuse not to work on my UM4 story.
**sigh**
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:48:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:17:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum = Carolrichards
____________
I always thought Jack was Mistress Fist...
--
I was neither. I did have a girl alter, but only for about 5 posts. Although one of them got nearly a hundred replies in a short time...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:17:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum = Carolrichards
____________
I always thought Jack was Mistress Fist...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum = Carolrichards
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:09:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:08:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
Jack, I had a fair amount of trouble drawing you as an android housing a mutant brain.
However, I finally came up with a satisfactory picture.
I'm hoping to have have "Ubermen Illustrated!!!" up later tonight.
--
I quail in anticipation, O Warped One.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jack, I had a fair amount of trouble drawing you as an android housing a mutant brain.
However, I finally came up with a satisfactory picture.
I'm hoping to have have "Ubermen Illustrated!!!" up later tonight.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
please note that I abstained from making any cheesy remarks there.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*throws half-eaten stale bagel at Jack*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:33:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
So I stuck my dick in her and she liked it and I saw her kid standing there and he was watching us and I told him to fuck off and he did and I kept right on fucking.
(Guess what this means...)
--
I'm writing like a motherfucker right now!!!
AHAHAHA!
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:55:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack -- that sounds familiar.
Does it mean YOU are CAUL?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So I stuck my dick in her and she liked it and I saw her kid standing there and he was watching us and I told him to fuck off and he did and I kept right on fucking.
(Guess what this means...)
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AWEOFIJWEF AIWEF A;CMAKUORPIEW
waefoijaefaf oijrowqeirqwe, woiaewrwa oiewaaoiew io. iweojirwoe ow;a;jeowifjawf!!!
wxc,jxcn, nv,x n,xcmnxc,mv. ojowefjweo "woaiwej oaiwowo".
aweifjaewif
aweifjewifawejfoaf;joajfiewa jeiwjfiewjfa imacojfwieaj fowjfowiej...
I'd like to submit the above story into the competition.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:32:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I sprinkled polonium-210 all over this review.
The remaining entrants will be dead by Tuesday.
--
My entry will be written in a heavy Russian accent.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:59:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:11:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stories are due NEXT Tuesday at noon?
Jesus!
------------------------
I know! They were always due on Saturdays at 1AM before! What the hell is going on here?
===============
Ahahaha
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:11:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stories are due NEXT Tuesday at noon?
Jesus!
------------------------
I know! They were always due on Saturdays at 1AM before! What the hell is going on here?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:32:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I sprinkled polonium-210 all over this review.
The remaining entrants will be dead by Tuesday.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stories are due NEXT Tuesday at noon?
Jesus!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-30 07:22:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:08:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I see.
So in other words, anyone who can string together a coherent, rational comment, consisting of more than 3 words, (..of which none are: 'OMG', 'TEH', 'LIEK', 'WOOT', 'Peener', 'Rape' or 'Schlongy'..) is "Long winded" and thus, must be one of Jack's alters.............
------------
If you were half as intelligent as you have so vehemently claimed to be, you'd realize that whoever is putting the shit on the uberboard is doing so to get you riled up, and, might I add, he/she is doing a HELL of a job stringing you along like a puppet. You keep falling for it over and over again.
It's quite amusing. """
People who claim intelligence are stupid.
AJ is doing this.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 09:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell me I'm wrong,
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 09:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Jack_McCallum alter: Carolrichards
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-30 07:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:08:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I see.
So in other words, anyone who can string together a coherent, rational comment, consisting of more than 3 words, (..of which none are: 'OMG', 'TEH', 'LIEK', 'WOOT', 'Peener', 'Rape' or 'Schlongy'..) is "Long winded" and thus, must be one of Jack's alters.............
------------
If you were half as intelligent as you have so vehemently claimed to be, you'd realize that whoever is putting the shit on the uberboard is doing so to get you riled up, and, might I add, he/she is doing a HELL of a job stringing you along like a puppet. You keep falling for it over and over again.
It's quite amusing.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-11-30 02:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:27:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:43:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
When am I going to be announced as the winner?
==============
GLALL is the winner of this UM.
There.
----------------------
Everybody had some great entries that I didn't read this contest. Too busy getting my groove on to some western african music at some dive where I wanted to punch this guy in the face for dancing like he was in the band or something. He's some rich fuckface from the upper crust, and he's all by himself in his flip-flops and shorts when it's 20 degrees outside. It's life man, and I think that's why I've prevailed above all obstacles I have faced in this writing competition.
So since this means I run the next one, I will declare myself all-time Uberlord with no quitsies and it's double-stamped, so basically I will be declared the winner of each Ubermadness held from here on out. Girls are not allowed to enter after this competition, and I will strongly enforce the usage of jagermeister for each entry until the end of time. I hope you're happy, Snark.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-30 02:33:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont even know whats going on
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2006-11-30 02:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Come on people...
horse87 is OBVIOUSLY Othmeal, Eric Rice, and Urbane working together under the guise of ONE person.
Duh.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:07:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
--
I didn't read this, I just skimmed it...
If you accuse me of sucking cock one more time I will exterminate you and your entire bloodline.
____________
By sucking their cocks?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:43:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
When am I going to be announced as the winner?
==============
GLALL is the winner of this UM.
There.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I go away to eat a bowl of rice and come back to this?
Yeah, I HAD alters when I first started here, I think most of us out grow that phase though. A few still stick with it through one Method or another.
The main reason I dumped the alters was to concentrate on just writing shit here.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just remember, I am an alter of Jack. I'm the alter with the BIG....
Dic....
Brai....
Bank Accou....
EGO!!!
YEAH, THA'TS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hopefully, "pullo, I've been at least mildly amusing before
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*swoon*
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:33:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
HOPPING?!?!
It's Tigerlilly then?
---------------------------------------
Figure of speech.
You get the idea, though.
Do a little checking and comparing of the styles (..and the mistakes..)in some of the posts in the Uber archives.
Knowing what you know now, you'll figure it out eventually... especially if you pay attention to one particular period. (..I'm surprised no one else has before now..)
And remember....there's more than one alter....
(..and I'm NOT one of them, dammit..)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:33:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
HOPPING?!?!
It's Tigerlilly then? """
the OFFICIAL first time one of your reviews has made me laugh out loud.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When am I going to be announced as the winner?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOJOPE!!!
yes?!?1?
NO?!?!?!?
no? are you sure?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<I won't say ANYTHING about mystiamoon...>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOPPING?!?!
It's Tigerlilly then?
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:29:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:18:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!! JACK WAS URBANE?!?!?!
---------------------------------
Let's just say that in the past, one of Jack's alters was a very controversial character on Uber for the longest time.
He/she kept people hopping like fleas on a frying pan for weeks on end..
Quite amusing to watch, actually....
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!! JACK WAS URBANE?!?!?!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Adult below
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"This long winded writing style seems familiar... http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2237890 HAR HAR"
"http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190 Now Jack's talking to himself. Misdirection! WOOT !!! "
-----------------------------
I see.
So in other words, anyone who can string together a coherent, rational comment, consisting of more than 3 words, (..of which none are: 'OMG', 'TEH', 'LIEK', 'WOOT', 'Peener', 'Rape' or 'Schlongy'..) is "Long winded" and thus, must be one of Jack's alters?
Jeez...
I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you overestimate your self-worth.
In my opinion, trying to fool you retards simply isn't worth the time it would take to type out posts under two user names. (Not that it would be difficult, in any case.)
However, truth be told, Jack did indeed have more than one alter at one time, and I can tell you, he drove you poor benighted neanderthals crazy with some of his posts. Not one of you ever clued into the fact it was him. Some of the alters were so far removed from his real personality, you'd never know it was him. A few were *very* well known, and some of his earlier ones were even female!
In any case, he's stopped doing it now for two reasons:
One, he can't access his most successful alter's account anymore, for reasons unknown, so he was kind of bummed by that. Bart apparently couldn't help him get it going again, either, so that was that. I tell you though, you'd all know who this 'person' is/was instantly, if I mentioned him/her. He says if he can ever get logged on to it again, he'll see if he can stage a comeback.
Two, unlike his early days on Uber, his styles of writing, both serious and humorous, are now too well known. Amazingly, there actually are a few of you quadrupeds out there with enough functioning synaptic connections to figure out who he is simply by his writing style, if you read the posts closely enough. Not many, to be sure...but a few.
That kind of takes the fun out of it, as far as he's concerned.
Now, this also begs the question; if he was going to create an alter, why make the alter sound so much like the way he already does? An alter, by definition, is an opposite, something diametrically opposed to the way one actually is. It's more fun that way, right?
Well, if I'm an alter, I'm a pretty un-creative one.
I never post, I rate only a few things, I comment only now and then -usually only on car related posts- and I never, ever (..until now..) get involved in, or instigate, any arguments, discussions, rants, or any other of the outrageous goings-on around here.
You expect anyone on Ubersite to believe Jack couldn't come up with something, *anything*, better than me?
Negro, please..
Lastly, I gotta say that I used to wonder how conspiracy theories got started so easily.
I wonder no more.
I come along, post a few comments a little on the verbose side, and suddenly some simian on here draws a few misbegotten conclusions, takes it into their empty noggin that I'm somebody I'm not, and next thing you know, the other sub-humans are actually paying money to point fingers via the Uberboard.
Of course, no matter what I say, no matter how logical I try to be, or how many times I offer to simply prove who I am, or rather, who I'm not, (..and it would be very simple to prove, by the way..), the HAR HAR ALTER comments go on endlessly.
Oh well...
Why bother?
Guess I'd better tell my wife to start calling me 'Jack'.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:24:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Harlequin Stephen King?
That must be terribly like alot of the stuff one finds on uber..
Jack - What's the credit card rant about?
--
Don't really remember much. Years ago I kept getting bombarded by citibank card solicitations, and this was after they turned me down for a card (I was young and broke then). I made a blow up of one of their form letters, added hand-written notes pointing out all kinds of errors in it, added a lot of obscenties, and mailed it back to one of the VPs. After that the solicitations stopped.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:03:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:53:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
gayest argument since method argued with caul about who had used the last of the self tanning lotion
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--
HAhahaha!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gayest argument since method argued with caul about who had used the last of the self tanning lotion
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Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Harlequin Stephen King?
That must be terribly like alot of the stuff one finds on uber..
Jack - What's the credit card rant about?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahaha. I just thought it was funny when you got all riled up at Method before, when he said something that was so obviously a wind-up.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:14:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
too much.
I'm a gore-a-phobic.
not afraid of the outdoors, though...
-----------------------
Well, there's a lot of humor in there. Kinda juvenile, but worth a read.
Ask him about his credit card rant.
I think he also tried a 'love story' kinda thing....
Good thing he didn't stick with it.
Imagine Stephen King writing Harlequin Romances.
(shudder)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
too much.
I'm a gore-a-phobic.
not afraid of the outdoors, though...
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:11:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:06:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:03:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit Jack I was trying to stir him up, not you. Switch logins.
--
Dude, if he was my alter, do you really think I would describe myself as an unfuckable geek in high school? Jesus.
I'm not denying that I was an unfuckable geek, mind you, but still, that stings, you know?
----------
Dude, do you seriously think that I think he's your alter? You both need to relax.
-----------------------
He says he's trying to stir me up, then says we should relax?
Conflicted individual, methinks...
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:07:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
re: the gore thing - I was afraid of that
sigh
-------------------------
What?
Too much or not enough?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:06:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:03:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit Jack I was trying to stir him up, not you. Switch logins.
--
Dude, if he was my alter, do you really think I would describe myself as an unfuckable geek in high school? Jesus.
I'm not denying that I was an unfuckable geek, mind you, but still, that stings, you know?
----------
Dude, do you seriously think that I think he's your alter? You both need to relax.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:03:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit Jack I was trying to stir him up, not you. Switch logins.
-----------------------
Huh?
Stir me up how?
I went over this before.
Now Jack has too.
Jeez.
Apparently you weren't listening, SL.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Don't forget, O wise ass, that IF I hit it big (and that's a big motherfucking if) I can afford to have you killed. "
-----------------------------
You've been killing me in one way or another in just about every story you've written since the train thing. What else is new?
Besides, you have to admit that incident was funny as hell.
At least, from where I was standing.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
re: the gore thing - I was afraid of that
sigh
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:03:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit Jack I was trying to stir him up, not you. Switch logins.
--
Dude, if he was my alter, do you really think I would describe myself as an unfuckable geek in high school? Jesus.
I'm not denying that I was an unfuckable geek, mind you, but still, that stings, you know?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:04:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard reports record quarterly profits, details at eleven.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddammit Jack I was trying to stir him up, not you. Switch logins.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:44:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
--
I just went back and checked who voted for what...
Regarding horse87-
He didn't vote for Flawed.
He didn't vote for Summer Breeze.
He didn't vote for Long Days.
So out of 5 rounds, he voted for 2 of my stories.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:44:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Or 'an unbreakable, iron will...'
Get the idea?
Hey, I was the one who dodged that fuckin train!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Or a 'gaze of piercing intensity...'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You could have thrown a 'noble countenance' in there...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:08:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course, being a short, pudgy, red-headed, bookish kinda guy...
--
Thanks for making me sound like a fucking Ewok, by the way...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Blues Brothers, huh?
Hahahaha...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:17:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:45:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
A week of reading? That's SOOOO tempting!
What's the general rating on the gore-o-meter?
--
Resist the temptation. It's all crap.
And your aversion to gore is why I've never recommended you read my book. Nasty stuff.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:08:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:45:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
A week of reading? That's SOOOO tempting!
What's the general rating on the gore-o-meter?
------------------------------------
It's all over the map.
It goes from level 10, over the top, rip-yer-guts out kind of bloodletting, to -10, no-blood-at-all attempts at mushy drama. A lot of rather odd humor in there as well.
At the time, I thought he was in search of a style that suited him.
Of course, being a short, pudgy, red-headed, bookish kinda guy, who wasn't getting laid in high school sorta guaranteed that his writing style was eventually going to more or less settle into a rather bizzare, bloodthirsty kinda groove. That, or he was going to end up in a bell tower with a deer rifle.
Mind you, as a tall, gawky, car-geek with a bad haircut, who wasn't getting laid in high school either, I suppose my impressions could be wrong.
--
Yes, but we did a kick-ass Blues Brothers back then...
A little padding and cheap suits and hats (and hair dye) and we were all set.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:41:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Burn it?
No way, Jose!
I literally have a steamer trunk of all that crap.
When you finally hit it big, I'm gonna cash in with a nice little collection of your early stories. "The Unpublished Jack McCallum", or something equally stupid.
--
Don't forget, O wise ass, that IF I hit it big (and that's a big motherfucking if) I can afford to have you killed.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 18:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:45:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
A week of reading? That's SOOOO tempting!
What's the general rating on the gore-o-meter?
------------------------------------
It's all over the map.
It goes from level 10, over the top, rip-yer-guts out kind of bloodletting, to -10, no-blood-at-all attempts at mushy drama. A lot of rather odd humor in there as well.
At the time, I thought he was in search of a style that suited him.
Of course, being a short, pudgy, red-headed, bookish kinda guy, who wasn't getting laid in high school sorta guaranteed that his writing style was eventually going to more or less settle into a rather bizzare, bloodthirsty kinda groove. That, or he was going to end up in a bell tower with a deer rifle.
Mind you, as a tall, gawky, car-geek with a bad haircut, who wasn't getting laid in high school either, I suppose my impressions could be wrong.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A week of reading? That's SOOOO tempting!
What's the general rating on the gore-o-meter?
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Burn it?
No way, Jose!
I literally have a steamer trunk of all that crap.
When you finally hit it big, I'm gonna cash in with a nice little collection of your early stories. "The Unpublished Jack McCallum", or something equally stupid.
-----------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:36:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought I told you to burn that shit ages ago.
Damn.
I was no Axolotl at 16, I'll tell ya that much.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
They're entertaining, if nothing else.
Besides, I don't even post here, and already I'm up on the Uberboard!
Woo Hoo!
Go Me!
Couldn't have done any better if I had posted a pic of my own genitals!
(..not that anybody'd actually do that, of course...)
...and yes, I have read your stuff.
A guy who can create something like the Daleks deserves at least a cursory glance...
---------------------------------------
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-29 13:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Horse.
I take no part in this arguement as I was desevedly beaten.
But if you feel the need to walk away from the fuckers posts I can recommend a good alterntive.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Davros
What the fuck did you guys expect???
-Dave
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought I told you to burn that shit ages ago.
Damn.
I was no Axolotl at 16, I'll tell ya that much.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yup.
You'll recall you did a parody of one of Suzuki's 'Sphere' articles in 1987 or so called "Foreskin Tech" in which you postulated that it was possible to grow removed foreskins into sheets of skin big enough to cover burn victims...with the unfortunate result that their faces would shrivel up in the cold.
It was real funny until I saw this:
"The after market for human foreskin is where the real money is made. Foreskins are sold to biomedical companies, which use them in the manufacture of insulin. They're also sold to middlemen, who package them for sale to research companies that in turn use them for biochemical analysis. Corporations such as Advanced Tissue Sciences (ATS), Organogenesis, BioSurface Technology, Genzyme, and Ortec International are taking cells from amputated foreskins and experimenting with artificial skin. Products like Dermagraft-TC, which sells for about $3,000 per square foot, are grown from the cells in infant foreskins and used as a temporary wound covering for burn patients. One foreskin contains enough genetic material to grow 250,000 square feet of skin."
(Circumcision. Daecher M. Icon 1998;2(2):70-3.)
http://www.foreskin.org/f4sale.htm
Me a packrat?
Hell, I even have the 'Farstar' Sci-Fi opus you wrote waaaaay back in high school.
If Crystle came up here, I could keep her reading for a week solid with all the old stuff of yours I have.
----------------------------------
Man, I don't know if I have copies of half that shit, you pack rat. The Suzuki stuff? Was that the the whole transplanting circumsized foreskins onto the faces of burn victims thing?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 17:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's some sort of cleanser that they sell at Target....
http://www.methodhome.com/products/detail.php?prodName=25oz_mandarin
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:43:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
So has anyone figured out what's going on with this whole "Horse87" thing?
--
Who is this Methid guy anyway?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So has anyone figured out what's going on with this whole "Horse87" thing?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got stuck in the storm in the mountain pass. Had to turn around and come back down to Cali. Sigh.
too bad you can't just email me his writing... or anything I can use.. erm, yeah, to, uh, embarrass him...
And BWHAHAHAHAHA - YOU ALL HAVE TITLES LIKE MINE LAST ROUND!!! (that is, ill suited to your style)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:56:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
...And I'm still waiting for Crystle to show up for coffee...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-29 15:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-
Really? I came up with a couple good ones. I think if you give it enough time, you'll find a winner.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 15:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-29 15:03:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
My title pretty much only allows for a single intereptation. One that I'm not pleased with. Any other attempt to work the title, and I feel the voters will think that I'm stretching.
--
EXACTLY.
It's like getting a title like "The Murder of James Dunston in a Small Town Called River Bend."
Not much leeway for anything but a story about the murder of a guy named James Dunston in a town called River Bend...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-29 15:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:19:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know about Pentamter, but I've hit a wall with this title. Jesus, it's sort of feel-goody, and that blows.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My title pretty much only allows for a single intereptation. One that I'm not pleased with. Any other attempt to work the title, and I feel the voters will think that I'm stretching. I have some ideas, but none that I'm too fond of. They all seem incredibly weak. I dunno...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
silly jared getting his 'friends' and 'enemies' mixed up.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:56:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy cow, what an astute observation!
A lurker voting for their friend's UM entry?
Never saw that on here before! How terrible!
------------------------------
I have a friend from when I used to work in NYC. She comes out of the woodwork every now and then and reads/rates my stuff. Someone on here once accused me of being her. That pissed her off, as I don't think she likes me very much.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 13:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-29 13:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Horse.
I take no part in this arguement as I was desevedly beaten.
But if you feel the need to walk away from the fuckers posts I can recommend a good alterntive.
--
I'm glad you used the plural "fuckers" and not the singular "fucker's" because that would have specifically implied MY posts and not all the posts in general and it would have been clobbering time.
I keep thinking that at some point I'll actually start my Round 6 story.
I'm reading a wiki article about geckoes. Cool little things. Their feet are astounding.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-29 13:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Horse.
I take no part in this arguement as I was desevedly beaten.
But if you feel the need to walk away from the fuckers posts I can recommend a good alterntive.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Davros
What the fuck did you guys expect???
-Dave
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy cow, what an astute observation!
A lurker voting for their friend's UM entry?
Never saw that on here before! How terrible!
In any case, I'm quite flattered.
Didn't know cared so much about my opinion.
If the rest of you literary giants write something worth reading, I might just rate you, too.
..And to explain something that those on this site with two functioning neurons in their head probably already figured out: I don't get to spend a lot of time on the net, so I simply take a second to check out Jack's posts to see what's new. If something else catches my eye, I may give it a look if I have time, but I usually don't bother rating it unless I have a coherent comment to make. (..which is a form of restraint some of you troglodites might try once in a while...)
To put it simply, for those who need a translation; Just 'cause I didn't rate it, doesn't mean I didn't read it.
Now to be fair, some of you are damn good writers. I look forward to reading your stuff when I'm able to, which is not often. Problem is, if I miss a few days of Uber, I don't feel like sifting through pages and pages of "My Breath Smells Like Kitty Litter" posts to find the few decent ones.
A simple click on Jack's profile usually satisfies my desire for a slice of UberStupidity. God knows, he attracts enough of you trolls to make my 10 minutes or so of web time entertaining.
..Except in this case, as I've wasted my 10 minutes typing out this reply while trying to avoid my boss's scrutiny.
...And I'm still waiting for Crystle to show up for coffee...
--------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You think you've got problems? I've been looking at that damn stupid uberboard all fricken day, then finally said to myself 'hey click on the link'. So I clicked on the link.
Now look where it's got me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know about Pentamter, but I've hit a wall with this title. Jesus, it's sort of feel-goody, and that blows.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up early and logged into Uber, Clicking on submit only to find I had no title! I ran into the street crying when there wasn't one there. I just got back from the police station, aparently running around naked crying is a crime, who knew?
I remember getting beaten mercilessly now. (Although I think it was a fix created by some government organisation that is so secret no one actually works there. Those bastards will rue the day, just mark my words)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 23:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OUTRAGE!
SCANDAL!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<3 Snark
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
=====================
WTF JACK?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that Horse87 only rates Jack Mccallums stuff, and votes for all of his UM entries?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Re: My Title
I enjoy it.
Hopefully I can come up with something that doesn't suck balls. Massive balls. Balls as big as your head.
Your friend,
Stev-RAAAA
PS: Fuck you. And your turtle.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:55:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:36:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - Horse, if I'm just seriously stalking Jack, will the offer for coffee still work?
----------------------------------
Only if you're willing to come way the hell up here for it.
I'll let you read some of his writing from 20 years ago. I've managed to save a shitload of it over the years.
Pretty funny stuff....but still a damn sight better than some of the posts on here..
(Sorry, Jack, but some of this stuff is too good to keep in the archives forever.. Your argument with that credit card company is a classic...and how about the David Suzuki parodies?)
Anyway, Crystle, you know how to contact me if you want to know more....
--
Man, I don't know if I have copies of half that shit, you pack rat. The Suzuki stuff? Was that the the whole transplanting circumsized foreskins onto the faces of burn victims thing?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:55:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dammit. my other alter outed.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:36:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - Horse, if I'm just seriously stalking Jack, will the offer for coffee still work?
----------------------------------
Only if you're willing to come way the hell up here for it.
I'll let you read some of his writing from 20 years ago. I've managed to save a shitload of it over the years.
Pretty funny stuff....but still a damn sight better than some of the posts on here..
(Sorry, Jack, but some of this stuff is too good to keep in the archives forever.. Your argument with that credit card company is a classic...and how about the David Suzuki parodies?)
Anyway, Crystle, you know how to contact me if you want to know more....
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:51:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't fool me Crystle!
Drop the sweet and innocent act!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96243#2238280
---------------------------------
STFU JAK!!! Or should I call you... METHOD???
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahahahaha, etc, Jack
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2238230
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't fool me Crystle!
Drop the sweet and innocent act!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96243#2238280
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:28:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, why do you think the British were so keen on conquering India 150 years ago? Have you ever tried their food?
---------------------------
Tell me about it. I visited England in 2002 and all I had there was fish & chips and Guinness. They should've colonized Japan, too.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I, for one, would much rather have Lamb Curry than Boiled Mutton
------------------------
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:28:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, why do you think the British were so keen on conquering India 150 years ago? Have you ever tried their food?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:28:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, why do you think the British were so keen on conquering India 150 years ago? Have you ever tried their food?
--
They wanted to fuck little boy ass. Read your Kipling.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:59:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by the_new_and_improved_nicey_nice_rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:49:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you troll
--
Want to narrow that down?
=============
I was talking to Jared.
-------------------------------------------
Rad, do you cook? For Thanksgiving, I tried my hand at this vegetarian Indian dessert. They were these maple cream puffball things. They came out well enough, only a little too sweet.
================
dude, you have so much more class than me.
I feel now is the time of year I become introspective and really think about how people feel about me.
WATCH OUT UBER, ITS GOING TO BE A BIG OL 12 STEP MEETING ON THIS HERE SITE, AND IM THE UNTIMATE FRIEND OF BILL.
etc.
Jared, every time I eat the Indian maple cream puffballs, they are always too sweet.
Its our Americanized tongue.
I mean, why do you think the British were so keen on conquering India 150 years ago? Have you ever tried their food?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should be working on my Round 5 entry... or is it Round 6...? Anyhow, I'm fucking around with something else instead. What a tard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:05:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
In about ten minutes, I am going to post my opus. It is a literary masterpiece that I have been working on for 4 years.
I'm letting you all know now so that you have ample time to get a box of tissues to wipe the tears off your face and a handgun so you can blow your head off after you realize you'll never read anything that awesome again.
--
Remember to post it under the category Quotes & Stories - Opus of the Week
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He, she, it...whatever.
You still whooped me.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In about ten minutes, I am going to post my opus. It is a literary masterpiece that I have been working on for 4 years.
I'm letting you all know now so that you have ample time to get a box of tissues to wipe the tears off your face and a handgun so you can blow your head off after you realize you'll never read anything that awesome again.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:40:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:29:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Pentameter?
The titles are up.
Congratulations on your win.
-------------------------
You don't even want to know what I'm thinking.
All I know is that I can't get that godforsaken song out of my head now. Fuck.
--
Hell, you're on easy street.
I've had 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You' by Frankie Valli playing continuously in my head since late August of 1977.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S MAH TITLE!>!?!?!
oh yeah, I flunked out.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:29:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Pentameter?
The titles are up.
Congratulations on your win.
-------------------------
You don't even want to know what I'm thinking.
All I know is that I can't get that godforsaken song out of my head now. Fuck.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*Raises hand*
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
JMG114,
Looking forward to losing against you. Having looked at the title, I'm stumped. Bet you already have a page or ten.
Still, this is all about having fun, right?
Good luck (not that you need it)
----------------------------------
I haven't checked the title yet, but you're an excellent writer. Best of luck to you, too!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:14:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
There is so much quality left in this tournament.
I wish you all could win. Except for JMG that is. I hope he gets eaten alive by bugs with sharp pointy mandibles.
-----------------------------------
DEATH AWAITS YOU WITH LONG, POINTY TEETH!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Raise your hand if you got a typhoon title.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He? Do you mean me?
Because last time I checked, I was definitely of the female variety.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:46:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't believe him, JMG. That's exactly what he said before he whooped my butt.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JMG114,
Looking forward to losing against you. Having looked at the title, I'm stumped. Bet you already have a page or ten.
Still, this is all about having fun, right?
Good luck (not that you need it)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:24:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:01:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:15:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG JACK DIDN'T DO HIS ENTRY ENTIRELY IN MSPAINT HE USED PHOTOSHOP!!! DQ HIM NOW SNARKYPOO!!!!!
=====================
DONE!
Jack is DQ'd for a blatant photoshop foul.
Pentameter is DQ'd for using the word clearasil.
-----
She should be DQ'd for blatant Steeler suckage. Otherwise, I agree.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Remaining UberMadness Contenders,
scourge here. I just wanted to drop by and say that from this point on I'll be voting on posts based on how much I like you. This bodes well for many of you. Others, not so much.
Please email me with your titles and a notation as to which entry under that given title is yours.
All my love,
Matt
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:15:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG JACK DIDN'T DO HIS ENTRY ENTIRELY IN MSPAINT HE USED PHOTOSHOP!!! DQ HIM NOW SNARKYPOO!!!!!
=====================
DONE!
Jack is DQ'd for a blatant photoshop foul.
Pentameter is DQ'd for using the word clearasil.
CharminglyBeef is DQ'd for being worldly.
JMG is DQ'd for writing better stuff than me.
FAC is DQ'd for male menopause.
Everyone else is DQ'd for being associated with Ubersite.
This years Uberlord is Electro's Sister.
Congratulations.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I did mention an 8th round bye. Congrats. You remembered an out-of-context detail.
My full quote was:
"Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-24 20:21:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, so 8 more people are out.
Next round, there are 12 people left, 2 undefeated, 10 with 1 loss.
After that round there will be 7 people left, 1 undefeated, 6 with 1 loss.
So um...with 7 people left, how's that gonna work out? Please don't tell me you're going to give the undefeated person a bye.
You got a month, hope it's a good answer."
Now please, inform me how that's a complaint. That's an error in the format, that needs addressing. If you don't handle it now, things'll get fucked up, and then you'll really have complaints.
As for my comments, you've got to be mixing me up with HotWillie or something. On any match that deserves it, I leave full comments as to what I liked/didn't like about each entry. On the ones that don't deserve it, I just leave "meh."
And don't try and dismiss me with the "I have work to do" excuse. I may "just be a college student," but that doesn't mean I don't have shit of my own to deal with. It's not like I sit around all day and get off to thinking of the Uberlord.
Fact is, you're riding a high horse that doesn't suit you, and you need to step down, and stop obsessing over my trivial little comments. I didn't have any beef with you before you started generalizing my comments, and I would have liked to keep it that way.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It seems like the rounds before this, everyone was being nice and polite with well wishes. This round, people are pissing other people off and being told what for. Good to see Ubersite has finally caught up with UM4.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My question about this competition is...why hasn't Pentameter reviewed MY latest masterpiece?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:15:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG JACK DIDN'T DO HIS ENTRY ENTIRELY IN MSPAINT HE USED PHOTOSHOP!!! DQ HIM NOW SNARKYPOO!!!!!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:38:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, what the fuck is your problem?
You keep saying I'm trying to change the rules, and I ask, WHAT RULE?
I asked if maybe Jack was in fact using an alter to vote, a legitimate inquiry, and then did research and found out he isn't. Despite the fact that I solved my own problem, you proceeded to ride my ass long after the fact, and still continue to do so.
Earlier I asked if there could be a more worthwhile selection of titles, because I and many others had no idea what an "abattoir" is, and writing a story off a societally-unused word is fucked up. If you think that's whining, notice that none of the titles I mentioned were mine.
The only thing I've complained about in reference to my own well-being, is that people were voting against me cause they thought my story was too long and didn't read it. If you've got a problem with me being pissed off because my efforts were ignored, simply because of length, then you're one hell of a shallow bitch.
If you think I've broken or tried to break one stupid rule in this competition, come right out and say it. Tell me exactly what "Uber-law" I've broken, otherwise just shut the fuck up.
Seriously, take that pretty little mouth of yours, and go back to sucking Donkey's dick. It's a far better use for those lips than gabbing off about shit you're too lazy to understand.
---------------
Oh, a suck Donkey's dick joke...like I didn't see that one coming. You're soooo original. Way to go! That would be as original as me telling you to paint your pimply face with Clearasil.
The fact of the matter is that you need to stop taking this so seriously. It's fucking annoying. Look on any UM IV post and you'll notice that you've left a whole shitload of comments, most of which are complaints. Read through any comments you've left on any UM submission...they're obnoxious. I know I saw you leave a comment somewhere complaining about someone getting a bye in the 8th round. If I didn't have real, actual work to do in real actual life where things really, actually matter, I would try to find it for you.
Like I said - I'm not the only one who thinks this or sees it. It's blantantly fucking obvious - http://www.ubersite.com/m/94386
I'm done with this. You can come back with your fifth grade insults, but I'll be busy working.
By the way, good luck in the competition.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean my INTEREST is aroused.
Sorry Crystle. Nary a naughty thought flitted though my head.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:36:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - Horse, if I'm just seriously stalking Jack, will the offer for coffee still work?
--
I'm aroused.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now you kids settle down or I'll give you the business.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, what the fuck is your problem?
You keep saying I'm trying to change the rules, and I ask, WHAT RULE?
I asked if maybe Jack was in fact using an alter to vote, a legitimate inquiry, and then did research and found out he isn't. Despite the fact that I solved my own problem, you proceeded to ride my ass long after the fact, and still continue to do so.
Earlier I asked if there could be a more worthwhile selection of titles, because I and many others had no idea what an "abattoir" is, and writing a story off a societally-unused word is fucked up. If you think that's whining, notice that none of the titles I mentioned were mine.
The only thing I've complained about in reference to my own well-being, is that people were voting against me cause they thought my story was too long and didn't read it. If you've got a problem with me being pissed off because my efforts were ignored, simply because of length, then you're one hell of a shallow bitch.
If you think I've broken or tried to break one stupid rule in this competition, come right out and say it. Tell me exactly what "Uber-law" I've broken, otherwise just shut the fuck up.
Seriously, take that pretty little mouth of yours, and go back to sucking Donkey's dick. It's a far better use for those lips than gabbing off about shit you're too lazy to understand.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww - what a sweet little fruit loop you are too!!!
Also - Horse, if I'm just seriously stalking Jack, will the offer for coffee still work?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:52:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus fuck me in the ass and call me a breakfast cereal...
Are we STILL talking about this Horse87 bullshit???
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If enthusiasm for my title was hair, I'd be Shlongy.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:12:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck..
You people have some serious issues.
Jack emailed me to let me know that, once again, I'm being accused of being his alter.
Let's address a few things here, hopefully for the last time;
I am not Jack.
I live 3500 miles from him.
Yes, of course it takes me about 60 seconds to figure out which entries are his. I've been reading his stuff for 25 years. Anybody could recognize his stuff after that long.
Yes, I do read them before I vote. Sometimes, some are so bad/good, I know which I want to vote for in a minute or so. Sorry, but you guys 'aint Hemingway.
Yes, I only vote on a few entries because I don't have the frikkin' time to read everything. I have a life. (..unlike a lot of you, apparently..) I don't spend endless hours on the net doing nothing.
If you think I'm an alter, why not ask Bart? He knows where am. My IP addresses show that quite clearly. Why carry on endlessly about something which can be settled so easily?
Also, ask Blitzkreig Bob. He knows me as well. His kid was doing a project for school and needed specific photographs taken in the cities we live in. (Remember that?) I gladly obliged. It involved sending me something to include in the pictures I took. He had to send it to the city in which I live, which as Bob can verify, is Ottawa. (Hey, it 'aint great, but it's home.)
So..
Any one of you live near here, and wanna verify this fact over a cup of coffee, contact me at my user name at Hotmail.com and we can arrange to settle this once and for all, dammit.
(..and you're paying for the coffee...) """
wow you are as hilarious as Jack.
I'd love to hang out with you guys.
SOOPER FWENDS!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pentameter?
The titles are up.
Congratulations on your win.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:21:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Horse- are you Jack's ex-husband?
--
Shlongy, don't fuck with guys who have full heads of hair, okay?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Horse- are you Jack's ex-husband?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is so much quality left in this tournament.
I wish you all could win. Except for JMG that is. I hope he gets eaten alive by bugs with sharp pointy mandibles.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck..
You people have some serious issues.
Jack emailed me to let me know that, once again, I'm being accused of being his alter.
Let's address a few things here, hopefully for the last time;
I am not Jack.
I live 3500 miles from him.
Yes, of course it takes me about 60 seconds to figure out which entries are his. I've been reading his stuff for 25 years. Anybody could recognize his stuff after that long.
Yes, I do read them before I vote. Sometimes, some are so bad/good, I know which I want to vote for in a minute or so. Sorry, but you guys 'aint Hemingway.
Yes, I only vote on a few entries because I don't have the frikkin' time to read everything. I have a life. (..unlike a lot of you, apparently..) I don't spend endless hours on the net doing nothing.
If you think I'm an alter, why not ask Bart? He knows where am. My IP addresses show that quite clearly. Why carry on endlessly about something which can be settled so easily?
Also, ask Blitzkreig Bob. He knows me as well. His kid was doing a project for school and needed specific photographs taken in the cities we live in. (Remember that?) I gladly obliged. It involved sending me something to include in the pictures I took. He had to send it to the city in which I live, which as Bob can verify, is Ottawa. (Hey, it 'aint great, but it's home.)
So..
Any one of you live near here, and wanna verify this fact over a cup of coffee, contact me at my user name at Hotmail.com and we can arrange to settle this once and for all, dammit.
(..and you're paying for the coffee...)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
--
I didn't read this, I just skimmed it...
If you accuse me of sucking cock one more time I will exterminate you and your entire bloodline.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, I was running through a field full of flowers and bunny rabbits this morning; completely at one with nature and the universe when suddenly I stubbed my toe and fell down.
I got up, brushed the blood off my face, and promptly paved the fucking garden over and painted it green.
Now I'm gonna go shoot my new gun through a school.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
although it does seem like something JONNYX would do.....
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:26:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:39:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
wasn't me - i always put my name after outrageous slurs, it helps my cool image. I am so cool.
--------------
wasn't me either, I would have put my gay trademark (V) at the end as well
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus fuck me in the ass and call me a breakfast cereal...
Are we STILL talking about this Horse87 bullshit???
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Somehow I just knew we'd find each other, Stagger.
This will be the battle to end all battles, and I am prepared: I have a story about rape-hungry zombies that wander around moaning, "vagina". The hero is an unlikely nerd who has found courage only when faced with death. I will tie in the title by using it as the name of the city where he makes his final stand. It is a winning formula. Plus of course the ultimate in plot twist: it's actually a dream.
Good luck to you, Stagger my friend.
--
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-28 06:44:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
I dodge charminglybeef last round (by complaining) and now I have to play him now? Fuck's sake.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You all need to simmer down...maybe this will help.
It sure can't hurt.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96209
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:39:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, Bubba, don't get pissed at me. Get pissed at the guy who put that up there in the first place.
I just asked about it here, found out I was stupid for asking, and corrected myself. Jebus.
Go pick a fight with Apollo or Method, they're probably the ones who started it. I don't even have a credit card, I couldn't put shit on the Uberboard if I wanted to.
-----------------------------
I'm not picking a fight with anyone. All I'm pointing out is that you've been complaining since the beginning of this tournament. Stop trying to pretend that you were innocently asking about horse87 because it's completely transparent. And, no one accused you of putting those things on the uberboard, so where did you get that from?
You don't like the rules? You can't play by the rules? Don't enter. It's that simple. """
wasn't me - i always put my name after outrageous slurs, it helps my cool image. I am so cool.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:03:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
=========================
Here's a judgement for you: YOU'RE A DICKHEAD.
--------------------------
Indeed, Bob. Indeed. Glad to see that I'm not the only one here who thinks you're acting like a little snot-nosed asshole.
Hey, maybe if Jack beats me I'll pull a FunnyAsCancer and throw a hissy fit in an attempt to get the rules changed to suit me! Sound good?
Whether you realize it or not, you've been acting like a whiney little bitch this whole competition, and that is what my point was. I said nothing about you sucking Jack's cock, but if that's what you need to get you off when you masturbate, then far be it from me to tell you to stop.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
=========================
Here's a judgement for you: YOU'RE A DICKHEAD.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by the_new_and_improved_nicey_nice_rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:49:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you troll
--
Want to narrow that down?
=============
I was talking to Jared.
-------------------------------------------
Rad, do you cook? For Thanksgiving, I tried my hand at this vegetarian Indian dessert. They were these maple cream puffball things. They came out well enough, only a little too sweet.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I might actually vote in the next round
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, Bubba, don't get pissed at me. Get pissed at the guy who put that up there in the first place.
I just asked about it here, found out I was stupid for asking, and corrected myself. Jebus.
Go pick a fight with Apollo or Method, they're probably the ones who started it. I don't even have a credit card, I couldn't put shit on the Uberboard if I wanted to.
-----------------------------
I'm not picking a fight with anyone. All I'm pointing out is that you've been complaining since the beginning of this tournament. Stop trying to pretend that you were innocently asking about horse87 because it's completely transparent. And, no one accused you of putting those things on the uberboard, so where did you get that from?
You don't like the rules? You can't play by the rules? Don't enter. It's that simple.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by the_new_and_improved_nicey_nice_rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:49:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you troll
--
Want to narrow that down?
=============
I was talking to Jared.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:07:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Um wooooo!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-28 06:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dodge charminglybeef last round (by complaining) and now I have to play him now? Fuck's sake.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:54:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
as for this line:"UM wouldn't be UM without some drama. Just a matter of when and who."
I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE
LET"S FIGHT!
*puts up dukes*
----------------------------------------
GRAAAAGH! U HAV ESTROGEN AND ESTROGEN IS DEH SUXXOR OMG:::"""!
=========
I've got fucking BOATLOADS of it. Make you go all girly and weepy and shit...here, put this pink helmet on while I punch you like a girl.
:D
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Titles might be a bit late tomorrow. Just got home from work so I just got the file off to Bart now.
Just a heads up, I didn't give him alot of time.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:54:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:15:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had so little time to spend on my entry last round that not even my alters voted for it...
...seriously, with everything going on in my life right now, it's going to be much more fun reading the entries of the final few rounds purely as a spectator.
--
...and that is a shame, because when you have the time, you really deliver the goods.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 21:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:40:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
as for this line:"UM wouldn't be UM without some drama. Just a matter of when and who."
I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE
LET"S FIGHT!
*puts up dukes*
----------------------------------------
GRAAAAGH! U HAV ESTROGEN AND ESTROGEN IS DEH SUXXOR OMG:::"""!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:15:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had so little time to spend on my entry last round that not even my alters voted for it...
...seriously, with everything going on in my life right now, it's going to be much more fun reading the entries of the final few rounds purely as a spectator.
--
...and that is a shame, because when you have the time, you really deliver the goods.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had so little time to spend on my entry last round that not even my alters voted for it...
...seriously, with everything going on in my life right now, it's going to be much more fun reading the entries of the final few rounds purely as a spectator.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:34:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just don't feel like writing a book. That's something that pompous cocks like you spend all their free time doing just so they can say they did it. Congratulations. Big accomplishment. I'll go hang my head at the fact that while you were wasting your time in a fruitless endeavor, I was either working or doing something fun. Boy am I a loser.
------------------------------------------------
What you said here really amazed me. I spent too much time writing out a long reply, going into detail about how moronic this statement is, but a person like you just isn't worth that kind of effort.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-27 21:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT?!?!?! I LOST?!?!
I DEMAND A RECOUNT!
HANGING CHADS! It's the HANGING CHADS!!!
whew - what a relief! That last title sucked for me - at least now I can return to lurking.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 21:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:40:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job Jared :)
I shoulda voted for you but I didn't want to be completely slaughtered.. ha
------------------------------------
I liked your poem, and I think that people should be more supportive of poetry in general on Uber. It was damn good for something that was just "thrown together."
UM wouldn't be UM without some drama. Just a matter of when and who.
==========
Thank you.
as for this line:"UM wouldn't be UM without some drama. Just a matter of when and who."
I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE
LET"S FIGHT!
*puts up dukes*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snarky- since you're playing Mussolini with this contest, what are you going to do about McCallum cheating?
-----
We're gonna make you prove it, asshole.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:55:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:39:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're gonna have to poke me a little harder with the stick.
Dammit. Busted.
Shut the fuck up, ya goddamn parasite. You wanna piece of me, too, dickhead? That can be arranged. I'll just add you and your horrendous pictures of primarily ugly women to "the list".
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96200
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:50:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack McCallum is one of the very few (including myself) on this site that is well-adjusted enough to understand that losing in Ubermadness is not a big fucking deal and therefore does not spend hours and hours trying to cheat his way into a title that, so far, has netted him exactly 0 dollars and 0 cents.
It must be "Opposite Day" around here.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<cringe>
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snarky- since you're playing Mussolini with this contest, what are you going to do about McCallum cheating?
-----
We're gonna make you prove it, asshole.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, Bubba, don't get pissed at me. Get pissed at the guy who put that up there in the first place.
I just asked about it here, found out I was stupid for asking, and corrected myself. Jebus.
Go pick a fight with Apollo or Method, they're probably the ones who started it. I don't even have a credit card, I couldn't put shit on the Uberboard if I wanted to.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:50:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack McCallum is one of the very few (including myself) on this site that is well-adjusted enough to understand that losing in Ubermadness is not a big fucking deal and therefore does not spend hours and hours trying to cheat his way into a title that, so far, has netted him exactly 0 dollars and 0 cents.
********
Bullshit!!!! I sent him a Postal Money Order for thoity-twwo cents, even though it cost me
99 cent to send it. Doan be tellin'me he ain't makin'no moneys....
:-D
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:50:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack McCallum is one of the very few (including myself) on this site that is well-adjusted enough to understand that losing in Ubermadness is not a big fucking deal and therefore does not spend hours and hours trying to cheat his way into a title that, so far, has netted him exactly 0 dollars and 0 cents.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's okay.
I hate myself too.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:29:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked what you wrote. I just hate you. It's a conflict I struggle with every time I enjoy one of your posts.
Bastard.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:23:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad some one liked what I wrote because I sure as hell didn't.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if you did, a hook in the right spot can be very pleasurable... or so I've heard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:19:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying you'll ever be famous for ANYTHING, except perhaps the record for celibacy but...
--
What, have I got fuckin hooks for hands over here?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just remember, Jack...some famous coach in some famous sport once said:
"If you ain't cheatin', than you ain't trying".
I'm not saying you'll ever be famous for ANYTHING, except perhaps the record for celibacy but...I'm just saying.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by the_new_and_improved_nicey_nice_rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:49:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you troll
--
Want to narrow that down?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Impotency ain't so bad once you get used to it... or so I've heard.
*******
Jes wear a suit. Iffin you gwine be im-po-tant, ya gots ta look im-po-tant...
Impotency is a pretty soft gig....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:02:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
METHOD KNOCK IT OFF!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack McCallum sucks balls.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 18:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't mind me Jack, I just popped in to stir some shit.
No one takes me seriously; neither should you.
--
Fuck you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Impotency ain't so bad once you get used to it... or so I've heard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:24:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you'd read my review below, you'd know all I said was that you were a very good writer who happens to suffer from delusions of grandeur and impotency. Don't take it so personally.
--
AHAHAHAHAHA! That was actually pretty fucking funny.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you troll
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep, one review out of 26 to win by a margin of 10 votes ALWAYS qualifies
as cheating in my book....
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:54:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hotwillie. Another alter with an early uberhistory that consisted almost entirely of giving me -2's on every fiction post. Grow a pair, will you?
===================
Don't be such a pussy. My average rating of your work is positive, not negative.
If you'd read my review below, you'd know all I said was that you were a very good writer who happens to suffer from delusions of grandeur and impotency. Don't take it so personally.
As for some -2 I gave you six months ago or whenever, skate it off. Jesus Christ. You go into hysterics whenever anyone gives you less than a +2.
As for whether you're cheating, I personally couldn't care less. Good for you if you're gaming the system.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't mind me Jack, I just popped in to stir some shit.
No one takes me seriously; neither should you.
******
Who the fuck is Method?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The girl in the white top has big hooties. Is she a blowfish??
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't mind me Jack, I just popped in to stir some shit.
No one takes me seriously; neither should you.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:07:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
paranoy-duh idiotas abajo
************
Le Madre la Puta....
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
paranoy-duh idiotas abajo
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:51:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, the amount that I don't care about this Horse87 nonsense is astounding...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, the amount that I don't care about this Horse87 nonsense is astounding...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:30:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who needs to pay a dollar to tell Uber that Jack is cheating?
Just review and voila: "Jack's cheating".
----------
Eating ain't cheating, dipshit...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who needs to pay a dollar to tell Uber that Jack is cheating?
Just review and voila: "Jack's cheating".
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:06:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, shut up. Seriously. Just shut up. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. The more that you go pleading your case, the more vultures you'll attract.
****
Bob, you and I are on the same side on this, but I disagree. Let people run their mouths without challenging them and they will never STFU. They need their tea dumped in the harbor and they need their red coats made redder with their own blood.
Never let an asshole get away with anything, especially a foolish asshole who cannot even write his own name...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:06:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, shut up. Seriously. Just shut up. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. The more that you go pleading your case, the more vultures you'll attract.
--
Are you kidding?
People are PAYING CASH to shit on me! That's incredible!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are people on this site who vote for each other all the time. O-man and Saccy +2 the hell out of each other, but does that mean they are scum? Well.... JUST KIDDING!!!!!
JMG114: What you said about poetry? Most people who don't enjoy good poetry really don't understand what they read. Orgasmatron is VERY good, but idiots still -2 him simply because
it is poetry. Macho motherfuckers wouldn't be caught dead reading or reciting a poem, but they know all the words to their favorite song. Go figure...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, shut up. Seriously. Just shut up. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. The more that you go pleading your case, the more vultures you'll attract.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh.... so now we go from 'alter' to 'buddy' and I have used his login. Right.
From the uberboard: HA HA Someone uses his buddy's login to vote for himself and then PROTESTS TOO MUCH !!!
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:04:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Has he used 3rd person in his comments before? If not, suck my cock.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you kidding me? This guy is gonna start accusing ME of having an alter?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
He swears it's his "friend", who conveniently votes for Jack every time
Actually Method, if you check back you'll see he skipped a few. When he does like a match, he votes for it. He's known me, and my style, a long time.
Following your logic, I should be FunnyAsCancer's alter.
I voted for him 4 times a row in until this last round.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job Jared :)
I shoulda voted for you but I didn't want to be completely slaughtered.. ha
------------------------------------
I liked your poem, and I think that people should be more supportive of poetry in general on Uber. It was damn good for something that was just "thrown together."
UM wouldn't be UM without some drama. Just a matter of when and who.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: HA HA Someone uses his buddy's login to vote for himself and then PROTESTS TOO MUCH !!!
What are we up to now, 7, 8 bucks?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From the uberboard: I predict horse87 will soon appear to clear things up and review LOTS of different people YEE HAW!!!
I feel honored.
Honored that people cannot be satisfied with falsely accusing me in the free forum of Uber. I feel honored that these individuals are now compelled to PAY for the privilege.
Ahahahaha!
Drop another dollar, douchebag! Mention my cats!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 15:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From the uberboard: Watch for the "buddy" to ride up on his horse87 to rescue poor widdle cheater boy
Looks like whysenheimer is back.
I love being accused of having an alter by alters with no balls at all.
(1)---------------
Original Submissions
I hate nerds (plus halloween camwhore) (Rating: -0.06 on 34 reviews, last by HotWillie 18 days ago)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2006-11-08 04:12:42
I hate nerds (Rating: -0.37 on 5 reviews, last by Newty 19 days ago)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2006-11-08 04:04:18
I hate nerds (plus halloween camwhore) (Rating: 0.16 on 6 reviews, last by Shlongy 19 days ago)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2006-11-08 03:57:11
====
Everything you ever wanted to know about HotWillie
User id: 27532
Registered on or around: 2006-06-22 21:31:03
# Messages posted: 3
# Reviews written: 745
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 45
# Hits: 981
Average rating of all messages: -0.09
(2)-------------------
Original Submissions
Feety is Born (as foretold in Revelations) NSFWeekends (Rating: -1.6 on 18 reviews, last by Sphagnum 76 days ago)
Submitted by Adolph Weisenheimer (View user info) at 2006-09-09 23:39:03
Feety is Born (as foretold in Revelations) (Rating: -0.66 on 4 reviews, last by JonnyX 77 days ago)
Submitted by Adolph Weisenheimer (View user info) at 2006-09-09 23:37:09
The SHOCKING Truth Behind McRectum's First Time (Rating: -1.2 on 38 reviews, last by Sockster 88 days ago)
Submitted by whysenheimer (View user info) at 2006-08-16 19:19:26
APW - Best in Show (Rating: -1.45 on 16 reviews, last by Wildman 101 days ago)
Submitted by whysenheimer (View user info) at 2006-08-09 15:58:33
Roadmap to Peace Between JonnyX and Sphagnum: Meat in the Middle, Boys It's Obviously Love (Rating: -1.6 on 13 reviews, last by Wildman 101 days ago)
Submitted by Wise_Guy (View user info) at 2006-07-25 16:50:11
====
Everything you ever wanted to know about whysenheimer
User id: 27480
Registered on or around: 2006-06-19 17:31:59
# Messages posted: 5
# Reviews written: 516
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 89
# Hits: 1724
Average rating of all messages: -1.30
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, Pentameter. You already know how I feel about your writing, so I'll just say good luck to you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:39:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're gonna have to poke me a little harder with the stick.
Dammit. Busted.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hotwillie. Another alter with an early uberhistory that consisted almost entirely of giving me -2's on every fiction post. Grow a pair, will you?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:43:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how you can't reist the allure of trashing Jack, huh aj? That's the only time weasels like you crawl out of the woodwork. Fucking tool.
--------------------
haha forgot to switch users.
Good times.
--
I was talking in 3rd person, which I have done before when alluding to the time-honored tradition of bashing Jack here on Uber. Try to keep up.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:35:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just kind of skimmed over the reviews, and FunnyAsCancer needs to shut the fuck up.
Seriously. Stop obsessing over a contest on a free website where you receive no tangible prize for winning. You complain about every fucking rule that doesn't pan out in your favor, you've already complained about a round that's a month away, and now you're stirring the shit with this supposed McCallum alter.
Get the fuck over it. If you lose, it's not going to be because of the rules, savvy?
Life is not such that you can debate every single thing you don't like and try to get your way. Stop it already.
Since you've been a bitch this whole tournament, I hope that kaos_king whips your ass so that you'll go away.
Oh, and Jack? It's going to be an honor to lose to you. I just want you to know that I'm bringing my A game.
w00t!
*********
A woman with class...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:31:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
And just for Bubba: it is not a 'coterie' of assholes.
There is almost always a specific word for groupings of things.
A gaggle of geese
A pride of lions
A school of fish
An uber of assholes
Now, I have heard people say a bubba of buttholes, but I don't believe it's caught on, since it's reversed in nature.
Buttholes do not come in bubbas.
*********
I should have put a period between coterie and assholes. How about arcane assholes?
Esoteric assholes? How about a Willie of worthlessness?
Some bubbas come in buttholes. Some people have assholes, some simply are.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just kind of skimmed over the reviews, and FunnyAsCancer needs to shut the fuck up.
Seriously. Stop obsessing over a contest on a free website where you receive no tangible prize for winning. You complain about every fucking rule that doesn't pan out in your favor, you've already complained about a round that's a month away, and now you're stirring the shit with this supposed McCallum alter.
Get the fuck over it. If you lose, it's not going to be because of the rules, savvy?
Life is not such that you can debate every single thing you don't like and try to get your way. Stop it already.
Since you've been a bitch this whole tournament, I hope that kaos_king whips your ass so that you'll go away.
Oh, and Jack? It's going to be an honor to lose to you. I just want you to know that I'm bringing my A game.
w00t!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:29:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how you can't reist the allure of trashing Jack, huh aj? That's the only time weasels like you crawl out of the woodwork. Fucking tool.
hahaha
busted
********
If you say the same stupid thing enough times it will make you
sound even MORE retarded. I thought the English were supposed to be
bright? Oh!! The word was blight...
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And just for Bubba: it is not a 'coterie' of assholes.
There is almost always a specific word for groupings of things.
A gaggle of geese
A pride of lions
A school of fish
An uber of assholes
Now, I have heard people say a bubba of buttholes, but I don't believe it's caught on, since it's reversed in nature.
Buttholes do not come in bubbas.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how you can't reist the allure of trashing Jack, huh aj? That's the only time weasels like you crawl out of the woodwork. Fucking tool.
hahaha
busted
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is the ignorant fuck who posted this? You obviously don't understand the usage
of the third person.
3rd Person http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2236742 Forgot to switch user names HAR HAR
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgot Pentameter. It would be nice if a woman won. I like women.
Or JMG would be okay, I suppose.
I guess you all are suitable 'almost can be's' (thanks Jared)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:37:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:28:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
All I have to say about this alter business is prove it. Prove it or shut up.
Funny how people like aj jump on the bandwagon to slam me, but no one questions who is behind the alter of whysenheimer, the one who started the accusations in the first place.
-----
whysenheimer is (was) sphagnum.
******
So who was/is ThoreauMe? KindaNews? Rob_Berg? HotWillie?
A coterie of assholes.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-27 14:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No offense, but the last three matchups of the next round are not in the same league with the top three.
Just an opinion.
And this contest is longer than my dick.
Barely.
As for the McCallum 'controversy' Jack is a pretty damn good writer, and doesn't need to cheat.
But do I think he would vote for himself twice if he could get away with it?
Absolutely.
Most of you probably would, too.
Jack just seems to want it more. I think he love UM so much because it's the only thing outside of Viagra that makes him hard anymore.
Personally, I think it would be classy for ALL previous winners to sit it out so there would always be a new winner. Then, after ten or so, you could have a comp between all of the previous winners. Uber Superstars, or some fucking thing.
Alters and cheating and shennanigans fall in line with the general level of maturity you'll find on an anonymous site such as this populated with people like you.
It's funny, but who cares?
I'm rooting for Stagger or Beef, myself. They usually display the confidence and decorum of writers who KNOW they're good, and I believe they would carry the 'title' with as much patience and goodwill as Snark has this time.
Jack just seems a little puffed up to me. Decent writer, but puffy. Probably needs to get out more.
None of this matters, anyway.
I don't really even like you people.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't give the titles to Jack. He gives them to me.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how you can't reist the allure of trashing Jack, huh aj? That's the only time weasels like you crawl out of the woodwork. Fucking tool.
--------------------
haha forgot to switch users.
Good times.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're gonna have to poke me a little harder with the stick.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:28:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
All I have to say about this alter business is prove it. Prove it or shut up.
Funny how people like aj jump on the bandwagon to slam me, but no one questions who is behind the alter of whysenheimer, the one who started the accusations in the first place.
-----
whysenheimer is (was) sphagnum.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and aj?
Please link me to the post where I described Ubermadness as either 'grandiose' or 'important.'
Please provide the link or the entire quote.
I am here because it is fun. I like writing. I have never said more than that.
You are the one who turned into a bitter accusatory asshole for reasons unknown. Look at the latest comment. Jumping on the HAHA JACK LIVES WITH CATS SO HE MUST BE WEIRD HAHA HAHA bandwagon.
At least try to some up with something new.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If Snarkie DQ's Jack, this could lead to his suicide...that's how much this contest means to him.
I don't want Jack's Uber blood on MY hands...I know that much. Let him "stretch the rules"...we've already had one suicide around here and Lord knows, we don't need another.
PS. DQ
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know it's not your alter, dumbass, I even said that in the initial response to this post.
I'm just saying it's awfully convenient that he manages to 'find out' which post is yours every round.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All I have to say about this alter business is prove it. Prove it or shut up.
Funny how people like aj jump on the bandwagon to slam me, but no one questions who is behind the alter of whysenheimer, the one who started the accusations in the first place.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Jack, you're a fucking retard. I like domenad, and I talk to him on occasion if I ever get on instant messenger. As much as you like to throw something as grandiose and important as UberMadness in my face, I really don't care about it. I don't need a half-baked contest with a competitive body of people who write things pandering to the masses of illiterate (Pentameter et. al this doesn't apply to) to tell me whether I can write or not.
But then again your cats can't really give you validation, so I suppose that's what you're here for. Kudos.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:25:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the idiot who posted the "3rd Person" comment on the Uberboard.
People talk like that all the time when they're being picked on, nitwit. Have you never seen the Simpsons?
"Aw, that's gonna come out of ol' Gil's paycheck." - Gil
It's called, "referring to oneself in the 3rd person." IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN HE'S TALKING ABOUT A THIRD PERSON.
You woulda thought people would be smart enough to realize Jack's the type of egomaniac to do that...
I hope the dollar was worth feeling like an ass for the rest of the day.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Give him the title before the finals???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snarky- since you're playing Mussolini with this contest, what are you going to do about McCallum cheating?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't bother answering, Hitler.
I went to the post and figured it out for myself...although I think Snark making the final decision on who wins, when you KNOW who both competitors are, is complete bullshit and ripe with room for fraud and bias.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:17:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark- seriously...why'd Domenad "lose"...or was it a tie and you just made the unilateral decision as to who won yourself?
Sounds like bullshit either way, to me.
==================
I made a unilateral decision based on personal bias and how gassy I was at the time.
Fuck the rules. I do what I want.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark- seriously...why'd Domenad "lose"...or was it a tie and you just made the unilateral decision as to who won yourself?
Sounds like bullshit either way, to me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Methinks Jack thou doth protest too much.
teeheehee...caught cheating in UberMadness...how sad.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:14:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:12:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheaters, like for example, Jack McCallum, who is seemingly cheating in this competition, should be tarred, feathered, banned and beaten.
I'll volunteer to be the one who administers the beating.
=======================================
Now now, don't make me go post digging.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark- I DO care.
Cheaters, like for example, Jack McCallum, who is seemingly cheating in this competition, should be tarred, feathered, banned and beaten.
Also, if YOU were the one who arbitrarily made the decision to give the victory to the competitor with fewer votes, you should suffer the same fate.
I'll volunteer to be the one who administers the beating.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-11-27 13:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
domenad lost?
WHAT THE FUCK TYPE OF COMPETITION IS THIS!
RECOUNT!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:59:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't fret too much, Jack, AJ's been a miserable cuntbag ever since around the time his buddy IHAKF got busted by the po-po.
Even assholes need lovin' sometimes, and in AJ's case, I mean that quite literally.
--
Actually, aj has been personally cunty to me ever since Domenad and I, two ultra-conservative right-wing assholes, kicked liberal leftist tree-hugger bleeding-heart ass in Ubermadness II and slaughtered aj and his fuzzy little friends as we climbed to the top of the heap.
Afterward, we ate their hearts.
*raises glass to Domenad*
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh,
I have a friend who goes by Xena on this site. Only ever comes on to read my stuff. I asked her not to vote in the last UM cuz I knew she'd recognize my writing right away and I didn't want the hassle of some half assed Sherlock accusing me of using an alter.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't fret too much, Jack, AJ's been a miserable cuntbag ever since around the time his buddy IHAKF got busted by the po-po.
Even assholes need lovin' sometimes, and in AJ's case, I mean that quite literally.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job Jared :)
I shoulda voted for you but I didn't want to be completely slaughtered.. ha
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:34:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaa
I must've struck a nerve with ol' Jacky boy.
Whining about life?
Not really, I just don't feel like writing a book. That's something that pompous cocks like you spend all their free time doing just so they can say they did it. Congratulations. Big accomplishment. I'll go hang my head at the fact that while you were wasting your time in a fruitless endeavor, I was either working or doing something fun. Boy am I a loser.
------
wow, and here I was thinking that playing Xbox all day made you a loser, but apparently writing, proofing, and editing a novel makes you a loser.
HA HA HEMINGWAY!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, aj, you really put me in my place with that reply.
You rock, dude.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:34:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaa
I must've struck a nerve with ol' Jacky boy.
Whining about life?
Not really, I just don't feel like writing a book. That's something that pompous cocks like you spend all their free time doing just so they can say they did it. Congratulations. Big accomplishment. I'll go hang my head at the fact that while you were wasting your time in a fruitless endeavor, I was either working or doing something fun. Boy am I a loser.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:00:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Vote #3- About two and a half minutes after voting on Jack's matchup.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95980#2232182
--
AHAHAHA!!!
I just clicked on that link.
If you CAN'T read both of those stories in 2 to 3 minutes you are a tard.
And yes, horse87 does read fast.
In fact, we used to get into arguments when I would give him a story to read (he proofed most of the cars and gun details in MY NOVEL, aj, THE BOOK I WROTE WHILE YOU WERE BUSY WHINING ABOUT LIFE), and I would give him shit for reading too fast and missing things like mood and atmosphere and subtle subtext, basically carrying on like I was a literary giant, and he'd tell me to shut the fuck up and remind me 'It's just a story.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how you can't reist the allure of trashing Jack, huh aj? That's the only time weasels like you crawl out of the woodwork. Fucking tool.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm just curious...
When will all of my UM4 posts appear on "My Uber" page?
--
I have a dream that none of mine will. It will play havoc with my rating, and my rating means something to me.
~~~
Usually they go up a couple weeks after they crown the Uberlord, when Bart or whoever has time to move them all around.
And don't worry about rating, they always get re-posted without the initial comments, and then people like youarsoghey or myself go +2 all of 'em.
So basically, the more UM entries you get in, the most straight +2s you'll get, cause people rarely if ever go back and actually rate them on merit again.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:00:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Horse87 is a separate person, but it begs the question of why he seems to always or only vote on Jack's UberMadness posts.
This round he voted on three, but only to make it appear that Jack isn't cheating.
Vote #1-
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96012#2232175
Notice the time stamp.
Vote #2- Jack's post, I believe, but I didn't double check it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95993#2232177
Notice the time stamp again, barely a minute and a half after the initial vote.
Vote #3- About two and a half minutes after voting on Jack's matchup.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95980#2232182
***
Either horse87 is a really fast reader or Jack is a fucking cheater that tells him which post is his and asks him to vote on a couple others to make it look like he isn't a fucking cheater.
Not that I care, just don't be a liar, Jack_McCheatum.
--
I have known this guy since high school. He knows my writing better than anyone, and no matter how much I change my style he always knows it is me. He is the one who first sent me the link to uber, and suggested I take part in Ubermadness II. I assume that's how he always votes for me. He doesn't really follow uber except Ubermadness.
All it would take is a few minutes research for Bart to know if horse87 was an alter or not. And how do you know he didn't read a few stories, leave, and come back and vote? I often have votes close to one another cause I'll print a few stories here at work and read them on smoke breaks or whatever.
If I had won quite a few matches by JUST ONE VOTE I could see cause for concern.
Otherwise shut the fuck up and suck my dick.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if Domenad had MORE votes than the other dork...why does he lose?
Explain that to me please.
===================
1 - What CharminglyBeef said.
2 - Like you really care.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Horse87 is a separate person, but it begs the question of why he seems to always or only vote on Jack's UberMadness posts.
This round he voted on three, but only to make it appear that Jack isn't cheating.
Vote #1-
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96012#2232175
Notice the time stamp.
Vote #2- Jack's post, I believe, but I didn't double check it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95993#2232177
Notice the time stamp again, barely a minute and a half after the initial vote.
Vote #3- About two and a half minutes after voting on Jack's matchup.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95980#2232182
***
Either horse87 is a really fast reader or Jack is a fucking cheater that tells him which post is his and asks him to vote on a couple others to make it look like he isn't a fucking cheater.
Not that I care, just don't be a liar, Jack_McCheatum.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally did it with the chick holding the teddy bear.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Typo, Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:54:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if Domenad had MORE votes than the other dork...why does he lose?
Explain that to me please.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How many rounds does this fucking nightmare HAVE?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm just curious...
When will all of my UM4 posts appear on "My Uber" page?
--
I have a dream that none of mine will. It will play havoc with my rating, and my rating means something to me.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey McCallum, how would you describe your success with self-publishing?
My email's in my user info...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm just curious...
When will all of my UM4 posts appear on "My Uber" page?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now that I have vented, thanks for the wrap-up, JMG.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I guess I am REALLY going all out to make this alter seem like a seperate person with posts like this...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59483
Didn't whysemheimer get banned for being a dick about all of this?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops, sorry, wiggles, I got my W's mixed up.
It was actually whysenheimer, and I'm not sure whose alter he is but obviously he is still bent about something.
Here is his post on the whole thing.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91898
Considering how many uberfriends +2 each other's posts all the time, I find it funny that the one single uberuser I know in 'real life' is said to be an alter.
Like I've said before, horse87 lives up in Canada, and is a guy I went to high school with.
Fuck sake.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Last again! I was hoping my win percentage would go up, but it looks like there were ass-kickings all over the place last round.
Well, I guess we both knew it would come to this, didn't we Stagger?
Assume the position.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:13:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I almost hate to ask...
But I assume someone's checked up on the JackMcCallum/horse87 connection, correct? Someone on the Uberboard apparently desperately wants us to notice that.
--
I think it was wiggles who started the whole thing. He got a hard-on for horse87, who is an old friend and the guy that first emailed me a link to ubersite.
My response...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93205
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-27 11:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This guy is such a fucking blubbering vagina.
|
|
|
V
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:18:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lol, nevermind.
Search Ubersite: "horse87"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:13:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I almost hate to ask...
But I assume someone's checked up on the JackMcCallum/horse87 connection, correct? Someone on the Uberboard apparently desperately wants us to notice that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:58:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:13:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I almost hate to ask...
But I assume someone's checked up on the JackMcCallum/horse87 connection, correct? Someone on the Uberboard apparently desperately wants us to notice that.
********
Hmmmm..... Can Horse vote for someone more than once? No?
Did Jack win by a single vote? No? Who da fuck is wasting his dollar?
If it were the Domenad/Hilinara pairing it might be a point of contention. But it ain't.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will eat you.
...from the inside.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:33:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So I'm still in this, huh? Okay.
I still feel shitty about the way Coleslaw Murphy went out.
Anyhow...
Bring it FAC!!! I'll stack my 2 pack a day smoking habit against your writing powers!!!
HAHAHAhahahaaa, **cough**
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lol, nevermind.
Search Ubersite: "horse87"
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 10:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I almost hate to ask...
But I assume someone's checked up on the JackMcCallum/horse87 connection, correct? Someone on the Uberboard apparently desperately wants us to notice that.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 09:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone dog-gone effed up the domenad/Hirilnara line. 21 votes, 49%.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-11-27 09:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sniff, I enjoyed my time in the comp, but alas all things must end.
I want Parlor Trick to win that way I got knocked out by the eventual winner, which in my simple mind will make me feel better.
Looking forward to some good stories without the pressure of trying to think of something mediocre myself.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-27 09:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Round.
FAC, top story, despite the problems.
Roll on round 8765344.
-Dave
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-27 08:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Five days later and...yup...UM is still going on. Good to see that the holidays don't change some things...
Oh, and you couldn't have found a nudie pic for the bottom of the post? For shame. ;-)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-27 08:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Domenad got hosed.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-27 08:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Entertain me, damnit!!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-27 08:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to Snark, Bart, & the UM committee! Great job holding it all together!