Shlongy's Menage a Trois - With camwhore (SFW) (4697 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.01 on 239 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shlongy's alter (View user info) at 2006-11-27 21:44:11 EST
I just checked the calendar, noticed that it's already November, and figured I'd better liven up this shithole with a post.
Had an INTERESTING sexual experience with a couple of our more well known female Uberites so I thought I'd brag...I mean, share with the group.
We're all friends here, right?
(I KNOW I made a promise - took an oath of silence if you will- to these two upstanding broads of Uber but a story THIS good must be told...I'll just change the names so no one will know who I'm talking about...therefore, they can't get mad at Shlongy and no one will get hurt.)
SO it was just a random Friday night...Mrs. Shlongy had to work, what, with it being "Black Friday" and all...when, out of nowhere, my phone rang. It was just a shade after 7pm...I'd only had like 6 scotches so I was in great shape and raring to go. And fairly coherent.
On the line? Two of Uber's finest...we'll just call them "LigerTilly" and. for reasons that I cannot fathom, her friend "Tenpameter". (Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the also, to protect the sluts.)
Apparently, they were on a road trip to Florida - probably going down there over the holiday weekend to load up on some dope and transport it back to the northeast- and when they were cruising on 95, they saw the Hilton Head Island exit- Exit 8 - thought of who else, SHLONGY - and decided to give me a call.
Yeah...They sounded drunk - like I giave a shit - whomever was yelling into the phone was saying something along the lines of "We're horny and we want us some shlong" - I'm PRETTY sure I heard that right...so I gave them directions and they were on our their way to Shlongy's house...no more than 15 minutes from the exit. Whomever I was speaking with said something about their "toys" and requested that I toss some porn into the DVD player so when they arrived, we'd be ready for "any kind of action".
Hold on a second...my phone just rang.
OK, where was I? Oh, right...Another Uber Quiz.
We'll start with a series of 10, easy True/False selections:
True or False
1) Despite her apparent bitterness, Lisa would give her left nipple if she could fuck Shlongy JUST once: T / F
2) Out of all of our proud Uber servicemen and women, Moneyshotforyou is, by a wide margin, the biggest asshole loser of this group: T / F
3) Method = OathMeal = moron T / F
4) Apollo was seen in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade - his head was floating down Fifth Avenue attached to ropes, right next to Woody Woodpecker: T / F
5) Nitty told me to tell Uber to "fuck off": T / F
6) Sicosemen loves himself more than Hidden loved himself during HIS camwhore heyday: T / F
7) Stok, LSD20 Paint it Black and frankthebear are giving Habeeb a "run for his money" for the title of "Uber's biggest fucking retard": T / F
8) jgreening is probably the most honest poster Uber has ever seen, and one helluva NFL prognosticator: T / F
9) Ghola is blowing me while I type this: T / F
10) Jack McCallum doesn't give a shit about UberMadness: T / F
11) Shlongy is dreamy: T / F
Now for some "multiple choice" questions:
1) I'm Uber's biggest dickhead and no one likes me...Toss into the mix that 94% of Uber has never even heard of me and my life pretty much blows. I am:
a) COMountain
b) JonnyX
c) Sphagnum
d) and my alters
e) If I had some
f) kai (in retirement because Shlongy was mean to him)
g) iddqd
h) gnarls barkley
i) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
j) Wiggles wherever the fuck he is - they must not have computer access at the "fat farm"
k) ETS
l) messmind - who, quite frankly, I've never even heard of
m) I have a boner
n) not anymore
o) kaelic
p) or, gaylic
q) are you as bored as I am?
r) probably
s) Did I leave out anyone important?
t) fuck this
2) No one on the planet - and this includes Inion De Tuna (or however the fuck you spell her name) and Spooner, has more pictures of peni and male asshole stored on his hard drive than I do...Why, I couldn't even begin to surmise: I am:
a) professorfuckface
b) squattail
c) professorfuckface's mom and dad
d) TigerLilly
Hold on...
Phone rang again...
OK, where was I? Oh yeah, let me tell you about my Bahamas Cruise from three weeks ago.
Ever been on a cruise? If you're a heavy eater or a fatass, there's not a better deal out there.
I'd say that 87.9% of Uber qualifies there so call your travel agent today.
I'm neither but I do like to gamble so...
They have A LOT of stuff going on pretty much 24 hours a day on a cruise. You can get food - all you want (pssst...jgreening) at any time of the day or night and it's free; part of your cruise fee...and the activities...man, they have like 40 things to do on the ship every day!
Here's a sample of what I DIDN'T do on Day 2 of the Bahamas cruise:
1) Photo gallery - had no pictures taken, bought none
2) Funship Films - no interest in a DVD of the cruise
3) Formal Night - didn't bring my tux, blew off the formal dinner- too fucked up. I brought my tux once on one of these...got all stuffed into my monkey suit and two tables over, some dickhead was wearing a t-shirt with some redneck retard expression printed on it and a "Dale Earnhardt" baseball hat backwards so I'm done with the formal nights.
4) Shore excursions- we don't do these. We grab a cab and go where WE like to go...Usually the Crystal Palace to lay on the beach and gamble
5) Nuemage Temporary Body Art- yeah, right
6) Art Auctions - no thanks, we have some of that Tarkay shit
7) Shopping ashore- I have enough horseshit we don't need at home already
8) Carnival golf- Oh boy! Mini-golf or hitting balls into a net!
9) FunShip Trivia- I'd kill everyone
10) Bingo - zzzzzzzzzzzzz
11) Game Show - I'll pass- I'm too cool for that shit
12) Dancing in one of the 6 lounges - fuck you
13) Kareoke- Where's my gun?
14) Power Walk at 7:30am- I'm not sone throwing up at 7:30am
15) Big Screen Movie - Ummm, I have 52 movie channels on my home TV...think I should take two hours for this?
16) Yoga- I'd rather Toga
17) Library - buahauahauahau
18) Singles Meet - I DID consider this but Mrs. Shlongy put the kibosh on that
19) "Friends of Bill" why would an alcoholic go on a Cruise? It's a 72 hours booze-a-thon.
20) Late night Mexican Buffet- Didn't want the runs when there was a chance of getting my anus tongued.
What I DID do:
1) Smoke many cigarettes
2) Drink from approximately 9am until...
3) Played craps for 18 hours over two days in the casino
4) Has a lot of sex; well, twice the first night...none after that. As usual.
5) Slept until noon the NEXT day.
Cruise done...drive 5 hours home from Cape Canaveral.
Tell me about YOUR cruise experiences and maybe, that can help save this post from the reaming it truly deserves.
And now, that camwhore of my menage a trois I promised you.
I sure hope this works...Until next year, Uber, arriveaderci or somefuckingthing.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-13 18:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So swampy, did you have your asshole stretched out sufficiently in the three months you've been MIA?
Rumor has it that you can now fit a Budweiser can up your ass.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-03-02 08:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i've got more hair on my perineum than you can even think about combing over your bald melon
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently, moneyshot is having a snot and tear filled "Kleenex moment".
Go fuck yourself, soldier-boy. I LOVE -2'[s.
That's my raison d'etre.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto-Schlongy -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Buahauahauahauahahaa....
Someone give earth_collapse - voted "Worst Uber Name Ever" in a 2005 poll a fucking hanky and a diaper.
Hey, I'll be in Tahoe next week all week long...If you live anywhere near there, why don't you stop over and say "hi"...and then, we'll make arrangements for you to have some soup.
Submitted by JohnnyTruant (user info) at 2007-02-06 16:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:48:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead. I will -2 every single post of yours in a moment's notice. I don't care if I get banned...
---
OH SHIT DON'T PLEASE FUCK C'MON MAN I'M SORRY!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-06 16:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:48:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead. I will -2 every single post of yours in a moment's notice. I don't care if I get banned...
------------------------------------
Calm down, dude.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead. I will -2 every single post of yours in a moment's notice. I don't care if I get banned...
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
is that faggy looking middle aged guy really you?
sorry about your face.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-28 04:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy knows his hockey goons, +2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-01-21 06:44:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
oh god how could you possibly play craps for so long... so boring
but; very well manicured lawn and handsome dogs
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-08 20:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm trying to cut down my amount of Uber time lately...the "no comments" still add up as reviews.
I may retire at 30,000 reviews...it's pretty much all that keeps me going around this dump these days.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-08 08:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy - I am dismayed that you tend to be leaving lots of 'no comments' or a dismissive 'no' reviews when I expect a far greater quality of work.
Kindly rectify this manner immediately.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:47:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...And that's saying something.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-12-28 19:11:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That has to be your gheyest photo yet.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-12-18 12:44:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-12-15 22:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A few years ago I was trying to figure out which kind of dog I wanted. I decided on one of the following:
Greyhound
Whippet
Pharoh Hound
But then I read that they will chase after cats and such, and you really need a fenced yard in order to have one (or else they chase after squirrels and such, and you either lose them or they break their necks on the chain they are hooked to).
So I ended up with a golden retriever. Nobody warned me that they are bumbling and gumpy.
It's fitting, I suppose.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-12-12 19:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
greyhounds win.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-12 19:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-12-06 01:31:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
There are two talented and funny writers on this site. This guy is one of them.
BTW, who's the other one...It's squattail, isn't it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-12 17:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure we'd NEED "photoshop" if I ever ran into some of Uber's biggest dickspots but I will take that under advisement.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-12 16:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:49:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
This sure died quickly.
So, what kind of nonsense would Uber like my next post to be about?
---
a post about you travelling around the world knocking other uber users teeth across the bar. complete with photoshopped heads and all.
ttom will likely help you with the photoshopping if you need it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-06 07:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit. There are two brilliant people on this entire site and the guy that reviewed below this one is one of them.
Shlongy is obviously the other one.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-12-06 01:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are two talented and funny writers on this site. This guy is one of them.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:45:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can' keep track of all the morons...they're all interchangeable dipshits, so a quiz wouldn't be as effective...accurate...or comical, as they used to be.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nah the amount of active users is the same it's just the dipshit quotient has inexorably risen as ever.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's much more difficult to produce a quiz now than it was in the "olden days" when there were fewer active Uberers.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, this was a really shitty quiz, compared to your other ones.
You should do a story about how you came to own a pair of daisy dukes, and where they are now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Been there, done THAT.
NEXT!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:49:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
This sure died quickly.
So, what kind of nonsense would Uber like my next post to be about?
---------------
I want to see Shlongy in a straight up fist fight with Mr T but then you realise your mistake and double team Paris Hilton in both senses of the phrase
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:49:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sure died quickly.
So, what kind of nonsense would Uber like my next post to be about?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tits Ahoy.
Submitted by fclo002 (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dirty pancakes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 00:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a golf course...out the backyard in SC. I love it. It's like having a gargantuan back yard that I don't have to mow.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who's that little kid on the left? He's adorable!
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:11:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Shlongy, where do you live? That looks like a nice place. Is that Shlongy Land?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post today...considering I only read Manic Mothers and this one.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck the bald chick on the left.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not bad...you only missed a few of 'em.
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True or False
1) T
2) F
3) T
4) T
5) T
6) T
7) T
8) F
9) F
10) T
11) T
Now for some "multiple choice" questions:
1) Q
2) A
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy is the best!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-11-30 12:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of your dogs, I'm not saying which grey, satanic dog it is, but he is possessed by evil spirits, or she or fuck the gender, just get a priest.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:17:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if that guy comes back, he can make fun of me some more and help out the cause, but the sheer magnitude of my online presence alone has driven him shamefully away, never to show his face again.
Real shame, I found him hysterical. My internet fame is a mixed blessing sometimes, really. ""
i hear you brother.
i've started using my internet fame for a better purpose though.
cash.
online casino firm 888.com are paying me a dollar for everytime i mention them.
a dollar! from 888.com. awesome eh? 888.com giving me a dollar! ME! from 888.com!
(i just earned more than tom sorrel does in a week right then)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bauahf ghsi hausyr akslllc 5 sns7ed; su8we 5jk7834nde
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
7)habeeb is actually really really smart. those other retards are just retards, plain and simple.
---
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91841
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90468
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90954
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91276
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88743
and especially: http://www.ubersite.com/m/95419
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-11-29 15:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I respect that you are not ashamed of how pathetic you are.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:28:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The "interesting shape" of my head probably has something to do with the enormous brain it is trying to contain.
You should see the interesting shape of the head of my dick...up close.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How did that black chick NOT +2 Shlongy?
I may have to go bang her to settle this.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-29 10:00:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-29 10:00:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:38:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Your head has an interesting shape
------------------------------
Homer.
---------------------
More like "Bender" actually.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-29 10:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:38:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Your head has an interesting shape
------------------------------
Homer.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your head has an interesting shape
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if that guy comes back, he can make fun of me some more and help out the cause, but the sheer magnitude of my online presence alone has driven him shamefully away, never to show his face again.
Real shame, I found him hysterical. My internet fame is a mixed blessing sometimes, really.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That goddamn "Welcome to..." bandwagon killed my heat...you fuckers.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-28 22:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You also look a little like Al Davis when he was alive.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 22:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On a side note, Al Lewis' death was an "answer" on Jeopardy this evening.
It's a crazy world.
Someone oughta sell tickets.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-28 21:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-28 19:44:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like Al Lewis.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:06:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Al Lewis died in 2006.
Like I said...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not if your kidney dialysis machine has anything to say about it
Wait.....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Al Lewis died in 2006.
Shlongy will probably make it OUT of 2006.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-28 19:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that Ghola and Foerensic?
You look like Al Lewis.
Or Davis.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lee Harvey, you are a madman.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:43:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you forgot to feed your dogs.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am now a convert to the church of shlong
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:31:34 (#)
Ranking: -1
That's definitely not retaliAtory..
on the other hand :
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:52:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:38:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps, I should clarify.
YOU didn't give me the erection.
Carry on, and please, throw me my well-deserved +2.
Then, get the fuck out.
There you are ! BTW : http://www.ubersite.com/m/96206
There might be retaliAtory content in that one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So, without the directive, you would have blown off this "instant classic"???
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-11-28 18:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm rating this because you told me to
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
REtalitory..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You must not know "the rules".
I paid tribute to you, as true a Uber nobody as there ever will be, in MY brilliant post, and you re-pay the great Shlongy with a -2?
And it's seemingly a "ratalitory -2" at that???
You'll never last, asseater.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:52:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:38:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps, I should clarify.
YOU didn't give me the erection.
Carry on, and please, throw me my well-deserved +2.
Then, get the fuck out.
There you are ! BTW : http://www.ubersite.com/m/96206
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:38:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps, I should clarify.
YOU didn't give me the erection.
Carry on, and please, throw me my well-deserved +2.
Then, get the fuck out.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
A small piece of this post :
l) messmind - who, quite frankly, I've never even heard of
m) I have a boner
n) not anymore
i find this disturbing . really .
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't even know where to find a bookie, but supposedly betting online is illegal, too. At least that's what all of our resident attorney's here on ubersite said when we went to do the poker tournament. I say I hate bodog, but I keep going back anyway.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't wager sports online but I can't hate Bodog, at least not yet.
I'm waiting, as we speak, to hear back from their agency on a 2007 annual radio deal that supposedly starts December 4.
I bet sports the old fashioned way.
Illegally, with a guy name "Lou" or "Norm".
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 17:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate Bodog.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needless to say, I'd do Inion in the ass...for as little as $20.
I'm sure she could scrape up that kind of money to pay me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:27:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:48:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Inion- you don't like Shlongy???
---------
no no i love you. just ask method, i tell him i hate him all the time and i'm sure i'd let him do me in the butt if he paid enough.
===
Will $1.25 do the trick? Cause that's about all I would be willing to toss for a throw at your toll booth.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like that "new guy", which is rare arund here.
But he ain't getting an invite to do ANY of my relatives.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahaahah
Even though half the shit you said made absolutely no sense, you still made me laugh.
You're welcome to come over and fuck my sister any time you want.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 16:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn!!!!! How long does it take to crush a beer can in one hand Hulk-style and toss it at me while growling "Cocksucker" in my general direction?
I'm out.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well I really don't have the time to sit around here and wait for him to "sharpen" up that Geico Caveman wit. I'll stop by later after hockey and check out the cave walls for a retort.(I love painted "hand characters")
Keep up the good work, Shlongy.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean 2003 for his first post? Thats like...( doing "Thud" math counting on all fingers and unzipping my pants for the carry-over)...A whole damn bunch.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:34:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he's not going to "fire back" right now with my "Turkey Drumstick" wedged between his lips...he does seem to have manners.
I was just looking over some of the past posts to get the "feel" of the place, and man, I have to say the kid has been here a VERY long time...even for the internet.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Look kids! It's TV's Robert Englund and his dags! I loved Wishmaster! Oh and those Nightmare on Oak Street movies were tops!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
also, it'll take way more than four drinks to get me THAT drunk.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:48:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Inion- you don't like Shlongy???
---------
no no i love you. just ask method, i tell him i hate him all the time and i'm sure i'd let him do me in the butt if he paid enough.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is exactly the kind of intense, intellectually stimulating conversation that this post needs to shoot straight to number one in "Most Heated".
Method- don't let that guy get the best of you...he's winning right now!
FIRE BACK!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was not involved in this in any way.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sure thing Methud...only because I KNOW I could touch BOTH sides at the same time AND get a tear-o-joy from your sparkling eyes.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why, you wanna fuck me or something, Opie?
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 15:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method?... just how long have you BEEN on this site for ANYWAY?
man, talk about "lack-o-growth" spurt.
I find Shlongy's self-depreciating sense of humor genuinely funny.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woo
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He'll be here soon enough...he's just waiting for mom and dad to go out so he can hop on the computer and wreak havoc on Uber and the other 14 websites he "hangs out" in.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS POST IS GETTING REALLY FUCKING GAY
WHERES PROFESSOR FUCKFACE WHEN YOU NEED HIM
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel like I LOST last night...I was getting 10.
A guy I just had lunch with DID lose last night...-10.5 on the favorite. He rallied with a second half play that popped.
Inion- you don't like Shlongy???
Join the club. I'm all broken up over it.
On a side note, after your FOURTH drink on me, you'd be climbing my pole like it was a jungle gym.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How about that push last night. Do you think Vegas knows what the fuck they are doing? ...ever?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:30:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't like you...
but i'd probably still have a drink you.
wow that explains my dating life.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:29:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:25:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
puppies!!!
You've arrived- you made it into a Shlongy post. CONGRATULATIONS!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JonnyX cannot- despite his pathetic attempt to do so - bring himself to rate the post and not "the great poster".
His bitterness over the last 25 Shlongy -2's on his posts shows through like jam on jgreenings chins.
That's fine with Shlongy.
There's only room for one cool old dork on Uber and that old dork is Shlongy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
puppies!!!
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the intraweb is really neato to senior citizens.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This blows, but it's right on par with pretty much your last 70 posts or so.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Must have been a mix up in "shipping". I'll speak with those illegal immigrants later today.
Anyway, the reason that TL isn't the correct answer to number 2 is that you forgot to add in the "goatse" to the equation.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:17:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, you only sent me "Shlongy's butt cheeks" collection.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 14:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I now that for a fact: I've personally sent her the Shlongy "Glamour Shots / Penis Collection" that is in such high demand around Uber.
Did you ever get yours? I forget.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lissen! I'm telling you, Tiger has a vast supply of peen on her hard drive!
Just ask her!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TTOM- you ALMOST got them all correct.
You missed number 9 and Multiple Choice question #2.
The answer is "fuckfaces' mom and dad's" computer
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-28 13:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True or False
1) T
2) ?
3) Probably T
4) Very T
5) T
6) T
7) T
8) T
9) F Shes blowing me
10) T
11) T...I mean F! F F F F!
1) I'm Uber's biggest dickhead and no one likes me...Toss into the mix that 94% of Uber has never even heard of me and my life pretty much blows. I am:
c) Sphagnum
2) No one on the planet - and this includes Inion De Tuna (or however the fuck you spell her name) and Spooner, has more pictures of peni and male asshole stored on his hard drive than I do...Why, I couldn't even begin to surmise: I am:
a) professorfuckface
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"good luck storming the castle"
...think about it until your minds eye catches it and illuminates the "Ahaaaaa" light.
auto +2 because of the dogs...(racing greyhounds saved from the brink of Purina 12 ounce?)
that and the fact that even though you'd probably do better in a vasoline-slinging slap fight outside a club called "Piston's" than in a fist-o-cuffs scuffle outside a bar called "Leon's"
you're still a funny MF.
Do your dogs go to the same gym you go to?
carry on
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:59:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Then I'd be smiling too!!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like your dogs.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The dog's smiling because he thinks it's comical that I had to pick his big, steaming pile of shit up off the golf course.
I'd just as soon leave it but I know how pissed I get when I get a "bad lie" in a pile of poop.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 12:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not a yawn...that's a doggie smile.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You didn't borrow those just for the photo, did you?
The white one is yawning which indicates an uncomfortable situation.....
Katie Holmes took a Cruise, ask her.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:03:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
TTOM - yes it, IS the dog on the right.
But I lead him in balls, 2-0.
-------------
Once again, mankind shows his superiority by loping off the nads of his servants.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are about the only bitches I can see you picking up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just read this again...Anyone know anything I can take to control what appears to be ADD? Or perhaps, alcoholism?
This reads all over the place.
Kind of like a Jack McCallum post.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:39:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
I *heart* Shlongy
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I spy three nice muzzles in that picture.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
TTOM - yes it, IS the dog on the right.
But I lead him in balls, 2-0.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:02:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It was only a matter of time before you saw THAT review...bauahauahauahahahahah etc.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-28 10:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:22:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
1) F
2) F
3) F
4) i don't understand
5) T
6) T
7) F, i like LSD and stok
8) F, he admitted being a pathological liar
9) T
10) F
11) F
1) b) JohnyX
2) d) TigerLilly, that vapid cunt
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahahahahahaha.....Fuck you, ya fairy.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So one of the animals in the pic has a penis...is it the dog on the right, cos it sure as hell isnt you old man
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha..you make me laugh.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All three dogs in the picture are cool...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmmm...I think I now see the secret to "positive ratings" and "encouraging feedback".
Rip loki and apollo.
NOW you tell me.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:49:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:30:19 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:20:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, that's right...I don't have a vagina.
Well, neither does loki and you always plus 2 HER happy horseshit.
This post is infinitely superior to ANYTHING that stupid bitch has contributed in the last two years, you stupid fucking foreigner.
-=-=-=
I'm bumping you up because uber has ne'er heard more truer words. "
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, Ghola...how'd you do on the T/F quiz?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of COURSE I've seen "Best in Show" numerous times.
ANYTHING that Christopher Guest does- starting with one of my all time, Top Ten favorites "Spinal Tap" - is a "must see".
I'm gearing up to see "For Your Consideration" as we speak.
That cast he uses in every movie, topped by Fred Willard, is fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlorty.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the two on the right are cute. i think there's something wrong with that one on the left though.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlong, if you've ever were unfortunate enough to see the movie "Best in Show" you'd understand why my impression of greyhounds is that they are fag dogs. Also, they are very skittish and that equates to fag dogs if you ask me. You may argue that they are skittish because they were beaten at the tracks and I'll argue that they probably deserved it because they weren't winning. Get yourself a tough dog like a Rotteweiler, or a Doberman, or a Rhodesian Ridgeback. or in your case, the manliest you could get would be a toy poodle.
This is the kind of dog that I'm going to get as soon as Dollar General gives me a raise.
http://www.thairidgebackdog.com/#
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Homage a trois.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:30:19 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:20:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, that's right...I don't have a vagina.
Well, neither does loki and you always plus 2 HER happy horseshit.
This post is infinitely superior to ANYTHING that stupid bitch has contributed in the last two years, you stupid fucking foreigner.
-=-=-=
I'm bumping you up because uber has ne'er heard more truer words. "
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fromage a trois.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know Robert Englund went on cruises...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Try harder?
I thought the idea around here was try as LEAST hard as you can and see how much heat you can garner.
I have no original ideas and no creativity. This is as good as it gets, rad....sadly.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Electro would be welcome at the Shlongy compound...as long as he showed up with one of his "handlers" in tow, because I'm kind of afraid of autists.
He could stay 8 minutes. Plenty of time for that snapshot.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you are actually not a bad looking dude.
try harder next time, this post was kack.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:44:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah...they're pretty much ALL rescues. We've taken them in from tracks in New Hampshire, Florida and Oklahoma, of all places. We've had 4 total. Two have already passed at age 15 and 13.
And greyhounds are NOT fag dogs, sicosemen, although I can understand you WANTING them to be.
They happen to be the fastest breed of dogs on the planet. And you can BET on them.
Like it's not natural that I would own THOSE kinds of dogs. They enjoy gambling.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would pay good money to see a picture of you and Jeffrey Wellman standing together eating chokomut icecreams
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna see Mrs. Shlongy
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very entertaining
11) ~T~
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll have to trust me...I'm so fucking handsome that sometimes , it actually hurts, to see all of the hearts I break.
I just don't photograph well...bad lighting and such.
You all won't have as much hair as I do when YOU'RE in your 60's.
That includes the women.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 21:44:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
BTW, that IS a bag of dogshit in the background there...For you "collectors".
Go Pack.
------
and yes, GO PACK.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are those rescue dogs? i like them
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:20:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, that's right...I don't have a vagina.
Well, neither does loki and you always plus 2 HER happy horseshit.
This post is infinitely superior to ANYTHING that stupid bitch has contributed in the last two years, you stupid fucking foreigner.
-=-=-=
I'm bumping you up because uber has ne'er heard more truer words.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:23:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your dogs
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Where to begin...
Greyhounds and/or Whippets are for fags, that's you in case you forgot.
I took my old ex-lady on an Eastern Carribean cruise to Playa Del Carmen, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel and got shit fucking faced. I almost got arrested in Mexico, but my cruise sticker saved me. The ship had record breaking seas and everyone was getting seasick, which was the same weekend that some other ship had food poisoning on, or salmonella, or some shit. It was about 5-6 years ago if I remember correctly, needless to say, everyone flipped out. I got more shit fucking faced, and never threw up, except when I tried to nosh on some vagine. All in all, it was pretty fun. I'm actually considering doing an Alaskan cruise because it looks so beautiful.
You're last 3 posts all have camwhores in them which would imply that Shlongy loves himself more than sicosemen did in his camwhore heydey, after hidden loved himself in his heydey.
Lastly, I think it's time we talk about hair extensions, plugs, or rogain at the very least. It appears that your haircut keeps getting faster and faster. It's like watching a timeline in the progessions of your last 3 pictures. With that terrible hair color, I suggest you get your ass hairs transplanted.
Good luck, old man...I'm sure the suppositories from your podiatrist keep you in good health.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-11-28 07:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heheh the picture!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-11-28 06:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:57:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
you're really starting to grow on me, Shlongster.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-11-28 03:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like woody harrelson with AIDS and a pair of dogs.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-11-28 02:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your appearance amuses me.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2006-11-28 02:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-11-28 01:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking shit, label your post correctly.... your dogs are cool by the way
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-11-28 01:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For complete and utter shite... very enjoyable.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're really starting to grow on me, Shlongster.
i just wanted to let you know that.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- #1 is false. she was fucking ME for the past two years. she needs a real man with a cock bigger than her thumb.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you, Shlongy.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH You're a stupid ugly douchebag!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-11-28 00:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the Greyhounds. Are they rescues?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
perkan i meant of course
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
child below
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll never come close to making the money I make because they just don't pay that much in the "food service" industry, genius.
Now fuck right on off.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well at least I don't suck off dog cocks. Sorry but I don't.
I will go to a better college than you ever will. I know that pisses you off. Keep on truckin' on communications.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:51:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I can move better in the pocket than that 'favre chap' can these days.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And "your" illiterate, you fucking retard. Get the fuck outta my post.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So do you suck the dogs cock, or do you hit it from the back?
The funny part is I picture you doing this... ahahahah eww... god damn your fucking disgusting.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this favre chap looks older than you
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:40:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew I was fucked an hour ago...when nitty told me that I was "in good shape with this play".
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
especially with that interception!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
interesting
TD seattle - pack+10 isn't looking likey old egg.
i'm no expert like.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A rare "tie". I think it's only happened once in NFL history since they instituted the current overtime rules.
yeah, I'm watching...I need the Pack +10...badly. This fucker is gonna end up right on the number and it'll be three hours of squeezing, all for naught.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
was it three or four?
i stopped reading after i first read my name.
alright then!
p.s you watching the nfl right now?
i have itched to see overtime and this might go into it.
by the way, what happens if they are level after overtime?
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This entertained me well enough.
You should go sailing instead of on monstrous cruises.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, that's right...I don't have a vagina.
Well, neither does loki and you always plus 2 HER happy horseshit.
This post is infinitely superior to ANYTHING that stupid bitch has contributed in the last two years, you stupid fucking foreigner.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How could you -2 this masterpiece after I gave you like, 2 or 3 tributes in it?
That's weak sauce, mister.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the combover's fooling no-one shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One of my best friends lives in Knoxville...been to visit him 3 or 4 times.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going for the "manic/depressive" "lack o'concentration thing here, Jack...think I pulled it off?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well if I can't have a night with shlongy, can I atleast get a copy of the home made sex tapes you made with TL and Pentameter?
My adress is 15346 bluehill rd knoxville TN 36456
I bet that is actually a zipcode too.
I also bet im stupid enough to throw my real address out on Ubersite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I figured if I baited this post with enough "Method" mentions, he'd show up...like a good fish would.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post. Shows that the old man has a few more swings left in him.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1) T
2) T
3) F
4) T
5) T
6) F
7) T
8) T
9) T
10)F
11)F
1) K (Wins the Golden Mongoloid Award)
2) D
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:49:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:40:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I just don't like FAKE retards...like Habeeb, Stok, Shinebox and Method.
--------------------
SIMMER DOWN WILFORD BRIMLEY, BEFORE YOUR DIA-BID-IS STARTS ACTING UP
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
iddqd-
The "apollo giant head" stuff might be an "old joke" as you say...
But history will show - and a little research which I sure the hell will not ever do - that SHLONGY was the original person who STARTED the entire "Apollo giant noggin gravy train of love" on Uber.
I'm 99% certain I started it when i first logged on...and decided on my character's Uber "angle".
One of those geeks like Axoltl or maltese could probably research and prove that fact.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:38:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:35:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Even the one who screams 'shine fucking boxxxxx?'
I'm talking about those types.
===
these 'types' have been around forever.
same shit painted differently.
---
i much prefer 'shine fucking boxxxx' to internet elitism.
find yourself a forum with a moderator if some retarded sentence out of thousands bothers you.
++++++++
They banned me :****(
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:26:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:19:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a whole new generation of retards on Uber now.
===
people always say that because newcomers dilute the attention they get.
-----
right on the fucking money.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:41:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1)f
2)f
3)meh
4)tired joke
5)i dont even think i know who nitty is
6)noone loves themselves more than hidden did back in the day. not even me.
7)habeeb is actually really really smart. those other retards are just retards, plain and simple.
8)meh again
9)t
10)f
11)he's one sexy skink.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul- I hate those fucking retards like Stok , too.
then again, I'm not crazy about the Uber VETERAN retards like Habeeb, either.
I guess I just don't like FAKE retards...like Habeeb, Stok, Shinebox and Method.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:35:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Even the one who screams 'shine fucking boxxxxx?'
I'm talking about those types.
===
these 'types' have been around forever.
same shit painted differently.
---
i much prefer 'shine fucking boxxxx' to internet elitism.
find yourself a forum with a moderator if some retarded sentence out of thousands bothers you.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I rather enjoyed this.
I plan on going on a "ghetto cruise" with my girlfriends early next year.
It will rule all over the place.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lisa is a virgin, shlongy. treat her with respect!
seriously, i can't believe some girls still think that claming virginity makes them look like 'pure'. in this century, virgin means bad lay, rancid vagina and unkempt bush.
i suppose it makes sense when you're a dumb broad with head issues.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:35:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Since I stopped playing college foots- cold turkey - about 5 , 6 weeks ago, I told you...I'm something like 18-5. No backs...no teasers...no half time lines...good ol' fashion home underdogs and the fucking Raiders have treated me rather nicely the last 4 weeks, too.
I wouldn't bet a college hoops game at this time with YOUR money.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:26:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:19:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a whole new generation of retards on Uber now.
===
people always say that because newcomers dilute the attention they get.
new users are much more interesting than people like loki or tired charicatures like myself.
-------------
Even the one who screams 'shine fucking boxxxxx?'
I'm talking about those types.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is no way to spend a summer
I've got sand caked on my feet
I gave my ice cream to a shark
And now I've got nothin' to eat
No fun!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Blow me. I'm reigning champ. I'm in for Life. What would you fools do if nitty didn't make the trip?
No NFL for me tonight. 3-0 in college hoops.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:31:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. I really need the Pack tonight to put the cherry on top of a 5-1 NFL Sunday/Monday.
1-1 Thursday...another PLUS week for J.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Inscribe the trophy with whatever the hell you want.
Put Cam's name on it.
We'll never see it - or you - again. You're out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa- take the rest of the fucking quiz, sweetums.
And you're wrong about #1...some of the other posters got it right. See?
I didn't "bust my ass" for 7 minutes to have you blatantly disregard the rules.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if they were V-1s, i'd help you...maybe
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Older quiz
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60446
Better quiz
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54626
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:24:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul- You came in third...Pick a prize and once again, and this MUST BR REITERATED for you, especially, you are not eligible for the "Night With Shlongy"
===
give me your money.
that's my price, jew.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1) F
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And #5 is most definitely 'T'
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:19:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a whole new generation of retards on Uber now.
===
people always say that because newcomers dilute the attention they get.
new users are much more interesting than people like loki or tired charicatures like myself.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure I duckhooked a shot into your backyard.
I did it just because I knew Mrs. Shlongy had cold watermelon and colder beer waiting for us. That was the day I shot a 207. Right before I won the tournament. Should I inscribe the plaque with my real name or should I simply put 'Nitty'?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul- You came in third...