Pick Some Bridesmaids Who Are Uglier Than You (520 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.7 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malka (View user info) at 2006-11-28 18:59:38 EST
Why do Brides have this absurd itch to dress up 10 of their closest friends in costly and disgusting gowns to hedge in the Happy Couple at the altar on their big day? It's not as if one of the affianced is going to bolt in the middle of the ceremony... not when there's ample time to do so beforehand by making a getaway to Las Vegas to escape family outrage.
I say, fuck this outlandish expenditure.
Besides which, if any bride had the nerve to make me wear such a pukey dress in public, I'd encourage the groom to get the Hell out of there. "Just think of the awful way she's going to decorate your house", I'd whisper. "And she'll dress your firstborn in gangrene-colored tutus and angry looking flowers. Even if it's a boy." Then I'd slip him some money for cab fare.
User Reviews
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-12-18 00:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To get your rating higher because you are awesome.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fookin morons....
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck happened? Your first two posts were alright.
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just when I think, "Surely this person has reached and encapsulates the limits of Internet tedium" you go and push the boundary even further. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.
If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to run an ant's go-kart around the inside of a donut. I understand what you are trying to say, even though you obviously don't. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting to read? You have the warm personal charm of a millipede and about as much class as a bucket of mucous lodged on top of a dumpster in a Blue Light district of New Jersey. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if that pimple on your ass hadn't turned out to be a brain tumor; if your weren't so fat that you look like The Michelin Man man on steroids, or if your face wasn't so ugly that visitors to the Ugly Palace pay money NOT to see you. No, come to think of it, you would.
In future, wake up the dozy peg legged hamster operating that wheel-powered brain of yours before you start typing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Front page needs some cleaning up.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-28 21:01:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bridesmaids' dresses are ugly by default, it's true.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
You're fucking HILARIOUS!!!!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:40:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Horrible photoshop job.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-28 20:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's not the concept that bothers me, I've seen some hideous bridesmaid dresses, it's just that I find burnt orange a really pretty color. Makes me think of a sunset. And I'm sure you could have found far worse ones to show...
http://www.calito.com/bridesmaid/larger/6762_a.jpg
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-11-28 19:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
meh
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-11-28 19:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I must admit, I thought this was dumb