"Let's Reform the Band!" The Mystical (Failed) Quest for Rock Stardom (635 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ich bin ein TTOM (View user info) at 2006-11-29 07:34:15 EST
Remember when you were 15? (For most of us this wasn't so long ago, for Shlongy...well, lets just say mammoths were involved)
Remember when all you wanted to do was:
1.Get drunk/stoned/both (Delete as applicable)
2.Get as much boob/cock as possible (Delete as applicable)
3.Get through high school without making too much of a dick of yourself.
4.Form a band.
1 and 2 still apply to me (1. Both 2. Boob)
I failed miserably at 3. (There IS a surprise I hear thee cry? Yeah, well....SHUT UP!)
I never achieved 4 since I have the musical ability of a stunned weasel and I wasn't very popular so, even if I was the 15 year old spotty white equivalent of the ghost of Hendrix reborn, I wouldn't have been able to rally others to my cause.
And, thus, my dreams of a North Eastern Scottish rap trio rhyming in broad Scots went unrealised.
Now, every so often, I'll hear a song or see a video and the craving will set in. The foolish thought that maybe, just MAYBE, I'm not as shit at playing a musical instrument as I thought I was, pick up my guitar, strum a few (non existent) chords, get disillusioned within 5 minutes, get bored then wander off to get 1 and, if I'm lucky, 2 as well.
Here then are some of the bands that make me want to get the band back together or, in my case, formed in the first place, have a massive creative difference, not speak to each other for a decade and a half, then get back together cos the bass player died and the rest off us blew all our money on cocaine and prostitutes...I'm planning ahead here.
Rammstein
Hard as fuck German metal. Can't understand a word they're saying but you can't go wrong with pounding guitars and large amounts of fire.
One of the best gigs I ever went to.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-2115830352321800041&q=Rammstein
Soulfly
More hard as nails metal, this time with a Brazilian tint. I've been an avid fan of Max Cavalera since the days of Sepultura.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=3809386408261763833&q=Soulfly
Beastie Boys
Who the fuck DOESN'T like the Beastie Boys?
Quite simply the best band ever to grace the Earth and easily the best gig I've ever been to, even though some fucker in a bowler hat knocked off my glasses and not long after I was diagnosed with cancer (Neither Beastie Boy nor Bowler hat related).
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-6992487032615922288&q=ch+check+it+out
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-4229812084102313590&q=Sabotage
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-3278025685121502692&q=Intergalactic
Aphex Twin
I don't know how exactly you make music that is both compelling AND disturbing, then set it to a video that is fucking creepy as fuck (with a dog pissing) without being a drooling mental case but, somehow, Richard D James does it.
He's Welsh, which says it all really.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=2727946189754209238&q=Aphex+Twin
Jimi Hendrix
You need me to explain it? Then you don't have ears, shitcheese.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-2999417569188182518&q=Jimi+Hendrix
David Bowie
He's made some god awful music and some god awful song but if I was ever going to be a sexually ambiguous transvestite, I'd choose to be David Bowie.
(PS Labyrinth is ace)
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-1316699544626627401&q=David+Bowie
Nine Inch Nails
Pretty much the only "depressing" music I listen to. Can't help but think of The Crow when I hear them.
They're playing Glasgow in February and I've got tickets. WOO! Etc etc.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-9132783084275220181&q=Nine+Inch+Nails
BONUS VIDEO: NIN and Bowie DOUBLE THE AWESOME FOR HALF THE COST!: http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=1274504905650513972&q=David+Bowie
Johnny Cash
If I was half as cool, half as hard and half as awesome as Johnny Cash I'd be precisely 38.2 times as happy as I am just now...oh, uh I'd also like to be alive, which I am and he isn't...you get the point.
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-2301825237376124104&q=Johnny+Cash
Gary Brolsma
...what?
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-6377855743675143177&q=Numa+Numa
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-06 14:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:36:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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fuck off Brad
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:36:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SPINAL TAP 2 - JAZZ ODYSSEY!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-11-29 12:01:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon I can get you a gig at Forres's premier nightspot, the Mosset Tavern
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I don't think we're good enough for such a high end venue yet, we might manage a gig in Keith or Insch.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-29 22:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only German metal I've been exposed to is Oomph!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-29 21:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Time and money for girls covered with honey
You lie and aspire to be as cunning
Reeling and rockin' and rollin' b size d cup
Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Me, my girlfriend and my bro all dyed our hair black, threw on black clothes and wore white masks one halloween just like off the Du Haste album or whatever it's called.
About 10 people asked us "Hey... are you guys like the phantoms of the opera or something?"
Finally, towards the end of the night, this really really drunk due came up to me and said "FUCKIN RAMSTEIN YEAH!" then stumbled off into the crowd.
I didn't kill people for a long time after that.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-11-29 16:39:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got:
1 Both
2 Boob
3 Almost
4 During point 3 my band was formed in the 80's ( no dino's involved)
We stayed together for almost 17 years and had a great time. We started out as a schoolband making punkrock and over the years we evolved towards more sophisticated energetic rock.
I still sometimes miss being in a band but then again the times they are a changin'
Bowie is one of my all time favs but only his work from '66 to the late 70's and Eartling.
Rock on'
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yep.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Soulfly.
Fuck YES.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOLFSTONE!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-29 13:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to Lollapaloza '93 (I belieive) when I was 15.
Lush, Pearl Jam, Jesus & Mary Chain, Soundgarden, Ice Cube, Ministry, and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-11-29 12:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon I can get you a gig at Forres's premier nightspot, the Mosset Tavern.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fingered my first pussy at 15...remember it like it was yesterday.
Never washed my hand after that.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAAAASSS MOOOOONKEY!! THAT FUNKY MONKEY!!!
*insert little dance*
saw them two januarys ago, for an hour PSHAA... i even wore my pink adidas jumpsuit
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-29 11:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice-Boob
So she just had the one then...was it a uni-boob?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 10:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ace
i wanted to start a scouse rap quartet called S.W.J - Scousers With Jobs.
I was going to be Dr Jay, my mate was going to be Snoop Dan, we had Cheap-E and Nice-Boob (that was a girl).
It would have been awesome.
The rat was on a mat wearing a hate like...
The spike on the fence stops the scally like...
etc.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-29 10:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love the Beasties.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81899
Probably my most tasteless post.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMMMMMMMMM......drop?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:07:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
If this wasn't already awesome, the "Parental Guidance" sticker would have sealed the +2.
-Dave
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-11-29 08:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If this wasn't already awesome, the "Parental Guidance" sticker would have sealed the +2.
-Dave
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done squire.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah yes, to clarify.
The two bams to my left and right are my mates James and Mac. Unsurprisingly the pic of James was taken in a pub thus giving him an orangy tinge...well, that and all the Irn Bru, obviously.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I join?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:45:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Du
Du hast
Du hast mich
Du hast mich gerfact
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-11-29 07:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who's that dude on the left? It looks like you've taken a photo of the sun with a really powerful filter on the lens. It's the man in the sun!
I've had far too muchsugar
>palpitations<
>palpitations<
>palpitations<
WEEEEEEEE!