Sabriel (185 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.33 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Angel72nd (View user info) at 2006-11-29 09:28:46 EST
The dawn was breaking through the treetops Gently, lighting up the small hollow in the woods where Sabriel lay. He awoke slowly and rose to his feet; taking in the surroundings he set of in the direction of the sun.Memories slowly drafted into his mind as he continued his trvels towards Galleas Palace. He thought of her , as he always did, as he'd first seen her. Dressed in a deep crimson with her robes falling all around her tiny body. Her skin was smooth and silky, the color and texture of soft cream. There were very little color in her small cheeks but a hint was visible, the pale irridescent color of a rose flushed upon her soft cheekbones.Her eyes her a strange color of radiance ,a blue green that shown like diamonds being cast into sunlight. Eyes that resembled deep pools a shimmering perfection, Thats how he remembered her. Her hair was the color of sunlight , a deep blonde that look as though it had been spun of pure honey. It feel to the small of her back where it rested gently in soft curls. Her hands her small and fragile , like those of a child perhaps. He remembered the first time he held her , how small she was in comparison to his stature. He remembered wrapping himself around her , as if to protect her from the world. He sat at the base of a large willow and let the memory of their last encounter take ahold of him.........
User Reviews
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You have horrible grammar.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-11-29 14:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What. The. Fuck?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ah bugger. -2, not +2. This was terrible at everything.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-11-29 09:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The dawn was breaking gently through the treetops, lighting up the small hollow in the woods where Sabriel lay.
He awoke slowly and rose to his feet; taking in the surroundings as he set of in the direction of the sun. Memories slowly drifted into his mind as he continued his travels towards Gallea's Palace. He thought of her, as he always did, as he'd first seen her... Dressed in a deep crimson with her robes falling all around her tiny body. Her skin was smooth and silky, the color and texture of soft cream. There were very little color in her small cheeks but a hint was visible, the pale iridescent color of a rose flushed upon her soft cheekbones. Her eyes her a strange radiance, a blue green that shone like diamonds being cast into sunlight. Eyes that resembled deep pools of shimmering perfection, thats how he remembered her. Her hair was the color of sunlight , a deep blonde that looked as though it had been spun of pure honey. It fell to the small of her back where it rested gently in soft curls, with hands so small and fragile; like those of a child perhaps.
He remembered the first time he held her, how small she was in comparison to his stature. He remembered wrapping himself around her, as if to protect her from the world. He sat down at the base of a large willow and let the memory of their last encounter take hold of him...
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It's not hard to polish a turd, but for heavens sake, at least make some effort.