Juvenile Douchelinquents (831 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.96 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malka (View user info) at 2006-11-29 19:33:17 EST
Your kids suck. Those unruly, corrupt and snarling little playground pustules you have running around in your homes should be put to sleep like vicious, rabid, tampon devouring wolverines before they corrupt the entire pack of assholes with which they roam. Yes, before they infect the others. Just kill the beastly, diminutive snotslinging pusfuckers before I have to do it for you.
I've had it with being called a "fucking white trash bitch ho" by other people's nine year old children, nor do I enjoy the other diarrhea ghettoshit they let fly in an educational facility. My workplace is not a warehouse for douchebag losers of permissive dipsomaniac parents who wouldn't give a shit if their spawn sought after-school shelter from a youth center, a library, or in Biggie G's Craxhouse of Blisterfuckerz. It should also be off limits to those parent who would visit only to complain that we have banned their mini-me shitheads from our presumed free babysitting services because those turdeaters can't stop stealing, lying, cursing, fighting and invoking the magical Butteye fairy. The next brat that snivels, "Butteye didn't do it!" when I evict them for that shit is going to get stabbed in the eardrum with a sharpened crayon.
Is this the crap you're teaching them at home? Why are you so fucking surprised, then, when we suspend your little asshole pie from access to our facilities for half a year when that beast can barely refrain from shitting in its palm and slinging it at other people?
Fuck You.
And don't give me that half-assed pathetic bawling fuckwhine that you pay taxes for our public services, either. I pay taxes, too. How does that make sense that I support my own salary and am then forced to deal with your specious argument that I shouldn't garrote your unwholesome, putrid, pee-scented spawn with the lanyard on my worker ID card when she calls me an ass fucking whore? Bitch, I also pay for your government cheese, and that goddamned little fecal renment of your unholy uterus would be peddling her twat socket in the freezing rain if I wasn't doing my dipshit job of monitoring her plummet into future whoredom while she waggles those scrawny shitflanks at her future pimp and writes down her phone number on the walls of our public bathrooms, so shut the fuck up! "I pay your taxes", indeed. I hope your free food gives you gonorrhea.
Do you people really think that we're supposed to raise your feral little crotchshits after your own inadequate handling of adult concepts such as accountability and responsibility? Where the fuck do you think that your house cretin has learned those disgusting manners and impulsive fucktard assmouth explosions except from you?? Don't unleash that piece of shit bastard on others unless you're willing to do the groundwork of civilizing it and making it presentable to the public.
"It takes a village", my fucking ass. We're not running around with spears and erecting clusters of shoddy grass huts for shelter anymore. The village has quit its job and proclaims your homeless abortion an irremediable disaster. If you want a return to the good old days where other people watch your fucking children then lets also bring back the disciplinary measures of wooden ass paddles and knuckle beatings with splintery rulers. I know a lot of pissed off teachers who itch for the opportunity to beat the crap out of your feral school aged shitbasket without the threat of legal repercussions. Hell, I work out. I'm ready and it's on. I'll kick your ass too, if you think it would be helpful.
Maybe instead of sending your child off to terrorize the neighborhood with paintball guns while you sprawl on the bed for Billy Joe Bob Junior the Second for a handful of soiled foodstamps and a bucket of chicken, you should try introducing books and other intellectually stimulating items to your household. Violent video games don't fucking count, and your child's dependence on them is a mark of lazy, dismissive parenting. I'd start a new library, with a book that you might enjoy reading to your kid at bedtime.
User Reviews
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-12-18 01:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-12-18 00:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RPharazon (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great rant, with tons of swears and the like that would make a sailor pat you on the ass once or twice.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to cuddle with you over the bleeding body of a crying child. You've inspired me.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you female?
You know what? Doesn't matter. I'm in love.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The next time I smack down a little dipshit, I will do it thinking about you
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles is trying too hard to be Darko.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-11-30 13:34:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:52:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
great rant
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-11-30 09:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me want to punt children.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-11-30 08:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:45:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because you and I share the same horrible and aggressive vocabulary.
I cuss and swear routinely like an angry sailor who's been denied shore leave.
It is something to be proud of, and ashamed of, simultaneously. Very special.
Perhaps we can have a cuss-off one day.
:)
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Well done, a nice rant. I have no kids, but if I ever do I'll smack 'em once for you.
I'm in for a cuss-off too, if it happens.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-11-30 06:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Even though I couldn't be fucked to finish reading this. Got to love the variation in your insults!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because you and I share the same horrible and aggressive vocabulary.
I cuss and swear routinely like an angry sailor who's been denied shore leave.
It is something to be proud of, and ashamed of, simultaneously. Very special.
Perhaps we can have a cuss-off one day.
:)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for misspelling "remnant" SAVED by +4 for using "Specious" which I, coincidentally, used in a post about a week ago.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think I'll ever be able to learn to swear this well.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great rant
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, yes.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:34:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 filename
otherwise perfect.
**
DoodleButt, no applesauce for you, ya fuckin moron. You fucked up something that was better than you could do in 57,000 years, fucktard!!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:43:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:34:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 filename
otherwise perfect.
=========
oh my fucking god!
Although the damage is done, here's a few more +2.
Jesus
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:41:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*rapturous applause*
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 filename
otherwise perfect.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of the best swearing and name-calling I have ever read.
Plus, I agree with you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'll kick your ass too, if you think it would be helpful."
I adore kids. But not ones like these.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*Applauds*
Submitted by eatyourvitamins (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:29:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are people afraid to beat their children? I plan to beat mine and any others that need it.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for picture. I didn't read.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:41:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
Submitted by gina (user info) at 2006-11-29 20:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality loathing
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent hate.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my god this post gave me such a woody
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your parents did a horrible job curbing your potty mouth.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOO RIGHTOUS (and right) RANT!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-11-29 19:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.