When Zappa Meets Uber: "Camwhorin' Girls/JonnyX Goes Down" (816 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: captainthorns_music
Rating: 1.57 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-11-30 14:36:25 EST
Yes, you heard right, it's a Zappa-Uber double feature...
..and for those of you too young that may have never even HEARD of Frank Zappa (the horror!), this is parodying "Catholic Girls" and "Bobby Brown Goes Down." Check 'em out sometime - Zappa's good stuff.
I reaaaaally wanted to do recordings of these, but I just don't have the time for it now. Maybe someday, if the demand's high enough. Until then, enjoy...this is the last of my Uber-parodies for a long time.
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"Camwhorin' Girls"
Well, camwhorin' girls
(At the Boobs of Uber lovefest)
Camwhorin' girls
(Do you know how they go?)
Camwhorin' girls
In the annals of Uber
MeTHod might be a fairy
But at least he ain't hairy
Camwhorin' girls
(On the MVA)
Camwhorin' girls
(Make a straight from a gay)
Camwhorin' girls
(There can be no replacement)
How do they go, after their show?
All the way
Thats the way they go
Every day
And none of their partners ever seem to know
Hip-hip-hooray
For all the skin they show
Theres nothing like a camwhorin' girl
Giving Uber a show
While they learn to blow...
Yes, they're learning to blow
All the camwhorin' boys!
(S.I.Co. Semen...)
Camwhorin' boys!
(Kinda ripped, kinda wow!)
Camwhorin' boys!
(Matt Maiorano...)
Were they all well endowed?
Photoshop not allowed!
Camwhorin' girls
(UrbaneMischief smells funny!)
Camwhorin' girls
(Hey! She gave me VD!)
Camwhorin' girls!
(Professional Peon!)
Supple breasts made to plow
They'll make you go wow!
Right away
Thats the way they go
Every day
When the ladies start the show
Matinee
Pass the kleenex please
Theres nothing like a camwhorin' girl
With her hand in her box
And she's on her knees
She was on her knees,
My little camwhorin' girl
(How she loves to undress)
Camwhorin' girls
(Now my pants are a mess)
Camwhorin' girls
(Make me hot for my cousin)
I love what you show
So please post a few dozen
Camwhorin' girls
(Ooooooh!)
Camwhorin' girls
(Ooooooh!)
This is Master Bates...
Bart had a girlfriend named Valerie.
She used to log onto IM every week.
Theyd chat with each other there
Share ideas
And think pure thoughts.
But one night when he was on IM
Valerie wasn't there...
She was posting her cunt on the front page of Uber
In order to make Most Heated
And be remembered for eternity...
*** brief instrumental interlude into "JonnyX Goes Down" ***
(Oooooooo) A real alter! I mean, not real, but almost a real alter...(heiney-heiney, hidey-oh!)
Hey there, people, I'm JonnyX
I like to say "Y HALO THAR BUTTSECKS!"
My posts are slick, my teeth are shiney
I tell all the guys they can kiss my heinie (tiny heinie ho!)
Here I am chillin' at Ubersite
I'm dressin sharp
I'm looking tight
Alters argue with me, but they're a little too dim
So I'll put the smack down as I verbally rape 'em
Oh God I am the Uberian dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
And I'm a handsome son of a bitch
I'm gonna get some new panties that'll make you twitch
(Get a new, get a new, get a new panty...)
Uber fornication
Became a very real temptation
I tell you people, my ratings went platinum
When I fucked this Aussie by the name of Sphagnum
He made a little speech then,
Aw, he tried to make me say when
He had my balls in a vice, then he took the dick
With them no longer hooked on, I made a change real quick
Oh God I am the Uberian dream,
But now I'm attracted to the football team
And I'm a miserable son of a bitch
Am I a boy or a lady? I dont know which!
I wonder...wonder...hi-ho silver!
So I went out and bought me some lingerie
I might look like a lady, but I don't think I'm gay
Got a job modeling undies for ShopKo
That'll teach all the guys to call me a homo
Eventually me and OathMeal
Stopped our fighting after we made a deal
I can take about an hour on his tower of power
As long as Ginger gives me a golden shower
Oh God I am the Uberian dream
With a creeper up my bum 'till it makes me scream
And I sure miss getting head
Hi-ho silver!
Oh god, oh god, I'm so gorgeous!
Hi-ho silver!
And my name is JonnyX
And my name is JonnyX
Hi-ho silver, away!
And my name is JonnyX
Hi-ho silver!
* fade-out crying *
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can dig this.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:07:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anyone who doesn't own at least 20 zappa albums is a failure
Damn! do i feel pawned!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-02 12:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellence
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anyone who doesn't own at least 20 zappa albums is a failure
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-12-01 22:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are not worthy.
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2006-12-01 22:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it but referencing Zappa = +2.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe's Garage is the GREATEST ALBUM, EVAR.
If I ever get an alter, I want it to be Central_Scrutinizer.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 00:35:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
waiting for the sequal to the tune of "why does it hurt when i pee"...
+2's for life if someone does a "billy the mountain" uber parody
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-30 21:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch out where the Habeeb goes, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:29:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
And I would be privy to this information how? No harm, no foul. :p
===
You don't know my name is Valerie? These crazy usernames, I tells ya..
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:04:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:41:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
JonnyX was killed in a car crash over Thanksgiving weekend near Oceanside, CA.
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Whaaaaat?
=============
Actually, he was eaten by Jay Greening in a magic case of mistaken identity over the Thanksgiving holiday.
Jay died the following day of peritonitis. Apparently Jonny fought, perforating Jay's intestine and forcing several gallons of waste out Jay's rectum prematurely, which Jonny then posted on Ubersite.
No one noticed anything amiss.
I for one, will miss them both. The eater and the eatee, the shitter and the shitty, and send them on their way through the intestines of the universe with good wishes to their final destination.
*sniff* fags below!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:43:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:36:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Urbane wasn't the ONLY Valerie on Uber you know..
AHEM
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And I would be privy to this information how? No harm, no foul. :p
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:08:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been mentioning these for a while. I've been waiting. With interest. Like a turkey in a hand grenade factory. Like a booger on a hooker's labia. Like sneakers on a waxed gym floor.
And like UPS, you delivered.
--------------------------------
You have such a way with words. :p
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Zapparific
Submitted by ScarfaceMN (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to any Zappa post!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been mentioning these for a while. I've been waiting. With interest. Like a turkey in a hand grenade factory. Like a booger on a hooker's labia. Like sneakers on a waxed gym floor.
And like UPS, you delivered.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:43:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where ya goin' to, Capt'n?
-------------------------------
Nowhere, physically...just using up the last of my Uber parodies here for a while. I've been focusing my efforts on writing and recording original music lately with great luck, so I need to concentrate on that while the creative juices are flowing.
That, and I have work to do at, um, work, for a change. But I'll still drop in as able.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 S.I. Co. Semen. Is that JonnyX shit true or just a stupid pindick joke?
---
I'm guessing it's bullshit. He posted something on the 27th, so Thanksgiving weekend was well over already.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you keep saying that - how do you know?
and Thorns - this was kind of creepy. Rather like uber, actually.
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Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
JonnyX was killed in a car crash over Thanksgiving weekend near Oceanside, CA.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:46:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 S.I. Co. Semen. Is that JonnyX shit true or just a stupid pindick joke?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:36:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Urbane wasn't the ONLY Valerie on Uber you know..
AHEM
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where ya goin' to, Capt'n?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
JonnyX was killed in a car crash over Thanksgiving weekend near Oceanside, CA.
------------------------------
Whaaaaat?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Repost 'cause I fucked up the original post and now my picture's gone. ~ le sigh~
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-11-30 14:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
JonnyX was killed in a car crash over Thanksgiving weekend near Oceanside, CA.