Where be Bart? (683 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tyrell (View user info) at 2006-11-30 15:35:09 EST
Bart used to show his ugly mug around here once in awhile. Where is he now? I will tell you.
He's got a bitch. A bitch that would totally be turned off if he said "I run this website..."
We might as well call her Yoko Ono. Probably telling Bart what to do, where to work, what websites to write code for.
Cut Yoko loose, Bart. A bitch like that is only going to run up your restaurant tab higher and give you a sexually transmitted disease. Is that what you want? Then your crotch will itch when you are responding to future posts instead of just responding to the post itchless.
Bart puts his dick above all of us. Wait. That doesn't sound right.
One day Bart may tell Yoko about ubersite and she'll offer him advice on that as well.
"I don't like the color Ü is." Well, nice. I am guessing it will be changed to a sparkling hot pink like the iPod nano Bart bought her for Christmas. Pre-loaded by Bart himself with sappy love songs that have meaning between the two of them, a virtual pukefest of emotional tunes.
Get off that bitch's snatch and get back to ubersite where nerds like you belong, Bart. You are not entitled to have a real life, just like the (rich) losers that made youtube, ebay, and yahoo.
I think the users at this site should dictate your life, and I will begin with a few rules.
#1: You will live ubersite. This means you will know what is always going on from the newest drama to the oldest user who still posts. This should be you, cock-knob. And you will post. Daily.
#2: You will answer all requests for accounts within 15 minutes. This means setting an alarm every 15 minutes for the duration of your sleep time which is alloted to 2 hours, twice a night for a total of no more than 4 hours.
#3: You will give out your personal land-line phone number, a cell phone number, and address in your next post so everyone can reach you at any time of the day.
#4: You may hire one staff member to help you, but you must feed him/her dog food and lock them up in a cage no bigger than 4' x 4' at the end of the evening.
#5: You will place a web camera in every room of your house and put a remote control electric dog collar around your neck at the highest voltage setting. There will be a button that is clickable from the MAIN PAGE that will trigger this collar. This will keep you in line. A small exposive charge will be placed on this collar with the trigger device being placed just outside your apartment's windows and front door. If you try to escape, the explosive will detonate.
#6: You will be happy and make updates to your website that users ask for. If someone wants a button on the bottom right corner that has the Incredible Hulk doing different break dance moves everytime you click on it, you will do it. If users want access to user's personal data, you will give it to them. There is no request you can turn down.
Get your ass back to the computer, Bart. Or else I may have to drop you outside your apartment with an AK, ya know what I'm sayin'?
User Reviews
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2006-12-04 19:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Soup's ON bitch
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-30 21:41:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart is like an absentee landlord. You only hear from him when the code enforcement people or the Secret Service get on his case because his tenants are running amok.
hahaah
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-30 21:41:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart is like an absentee landlord. You only hear from him when the code enforcement people or the Secret Service get on his case because his tenants are running amok.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-12-01 00:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There's nothing wrong with the colour pink, bitch.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is quite possibly your best post.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-30 21:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart is like an absentee landlord. You only hear from him when the code enforcement people or the Secret Service get on his case because his tenants are running amok.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-11-30 21:01:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#2: You will answer all requests for accounts within 15 minutes. This means setting an alarm every 15 minutes for the duration of your sleep time which is alloted to 2 hours, twice a night for a total of no more than 4 hours.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed my friend of color. Since what you say only counts for 3/5 I will do you a favor and officially second this.
Submitted by mrez (user info) at 2006-11-30 20:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Totally, drop the bitch!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-11-30 19:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously. He started this shit, he needs to finish it.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that a touch on the large side for you, "pullo?
We don't want you getting scared because your home is too big and unmanageable..
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:38:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
#4: You may hire one staff member to help you, but you must feed him/her dog food and lock them up in a cage no bigger than 4' x 4' at the end of the evening. """
woo!
i'm in!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I also approve. Who shall we put in the cage?
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-11-30 18:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha...seems reasonable enough
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BART BART BE DOWN MY PANTS WOO...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you're right.
And Shlongy is ALWAYS right so it's confimed.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-30 17:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahha
I approve.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like our original black guy better than you. he's a kinder gentler nubian. that said, this still made me laugh.
now where's my creme brulee?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to dog collar idea.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-11-30 16:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart is a racist, and he avoids black people like you.
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Kind of dumb and stupid. With respect.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I WANT A PINK U!
Submitted by Tyrell (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, that be Chicago bro. Lower wacker.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#4: You may hire one staff member to help you, but you must feed him/her dog food and lock them up in a cage no bigger than 4' x 4' at the end of the evening. """
woo!
i'm in!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-30 15:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet that picture was left over from your search on Detroit for the Welcome To series...