A Nobody (269 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.5 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Roy Lichtenstein <uberstein80.at.cooltoad.com> (View user info) at 2006-12-01 01:08:51 EST
Moonlight cascaded from window blinds like staggered razors cutting the room. In a desolate corner these blades of illumination cut onto the surface of a disheveled computer console.
Empty bottles of bourbon and whiskey laid askew as slaughtered enemies do.
A barren Maruchan® Instant Lunch cup fashioned a lonely fork, which protruded nonchalantly away from the individual commandeering the computer.
The commander was of elephantine physique. Despite this the man aerated within the four walls inconspicuously; a perfect juxtaposition of his meandering life.
But no one cared about his height, immense weight, or pimpled complexion. This man was fulfilling his vows as nOOb_Killer, an alias he contrived in the cyber world. Being revered the most by his anomalous counterparts as the MVP of Final Flatulency XVI.
nOOb_Killer kept his poise and stamina high for his in-game audience, an opposite rating of attributes then that he had with women in actuality.
But the tumultuous gamer had fury in his eyes tonight. An army from the "Newbian Regime" was flanking his peaceful paradise, and nOOb_Killer was not about to be overturned by a brood of carbon copy failures. So the man corrected his vertebrae from the slouched position to a more upright prepared stance. And with perspiration beading on his brow exclaimed his battle cry.
"I will send you back to the bitches that spawned your deceased grandmother!"
What nOOb_Killer failed to realize was that he had over encumbered his power strip and a large electrical spike zapped through the previously stable current. Almost instantly the man's monitor display shrank into a hairline rectangle before it cut off completely, along with the PC tower. A solemn serenity filled the room, leaving only the razor blades to cut back into the room and the dismal void of nOOb_Killer.
User Reviews
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Lichtenstein, you bastard!
What upsets me the most about all of this is the recurring thought that if I had shot you when I wanted to, I'd be out by now.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:12:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a truce to all the Übers.
______________________________
We'll be cool when you're done +2ing all my old posts you retal -2ed.
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 03:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Acronym Definition
TSDR Toxic Substances and Disease Registry
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-12-01 03:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
tsdr
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright, here then, a +2 cause I know what it's like to be the new guy.
just deal with the shit and you'll get thru.
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:12:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a truce to all the Übers. The old Roy is dead. I'll succumb to the pecking order of this site. I can't act this bad all the time.
jfreakman -- I'm being serious. BTW, this isn't Frank.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Even Frank wasn't this big of a douche.
is this Frank? I haven't seen him in a while.
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 01:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a truce to all the Übers. The old Roy is dead. I'll succumb to the pecking order of this site. I can't act this bad all the time.