You're dreaming of a white Christmas? I'm dreaming of your death. (1770 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: Eat_Me
Rating: 1.48 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Forensic (they made me this way) Girl (View user info) at 2006-12-01 01:50:14 EST
GoddammSonofaMotherFuckinChickenScrewingCousinFistingBallSniffingBITCH!
My ass hurts. I think I pinched my sciatic nerve. My left ass cheek is aching and my big toe is throbbing.
Yesterday was rain, turning to sleet, turning to ice. All within the course of one 8 hour shift.
Fucknugget
We still have the ice today but with a nice little additive, 5 TO 8 INCHES OF COCKSMOKING SNOW RIGHT THE FUCK ON TOP OF IT! That too occurred during the course of my shift. Ice going in, ice AND snow coming out.
I fell right the fuck on my ass too. That ass jockey of the snowplow buttsniffer that works for the hospital thought it would be too fucking funny to shovel out the parking lot by dumping the snow on top of the evening shift staff's cars. The radiology tech threatened to cook buttsniffer's testicles for breakfast. The Rad Tech is a dude too.
So the cowardly cumstain took off somewhere behind the hospital.
I hope intestines leap out of his rectum, snake their way up his torso, and choke him.
We passed around a shovel until we were able to dig ourselves out. That's when I fell on my ass.
I melted part of the parking lot from the stream of obscenity that escaped my lips.
15F (-9.4C) with a windchill of 0F (-17.7C).
Almost 0 visibility.
One fucking hour to get home. Normally it takes 20 minutes.
Douchebag cocksuckers driving like they're missing a chromosome or two.
YEAH AND THEY WERE ALL MEN TOO! ALL YOU SACKSUCKERS WHO ACCUSE WOMEN OF BEING SHITTY DRIVERS AND JUST SUCK MY LEFT TITTY. WHO GOT HOME AND WHO IS PROBABLY STILL OUT THERE STUCK IN A DITCH?
WHO?!
EXACTLY.
And the really sad part is this is really only a typical Midwestern winter. It's been a lot worse.
I think I strained my uterus too.
The next mouth breather that says, "I just loooooove the snow" will be slaughtered and fed to my cat.
Here's a piece of advice from me to you; STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDWEST. IT IS A PLACE ABANDONED BY GOD.
OH, AND FUCK YOU TOO DANTE ALIGHIERI.
And I'm really fucking glad Burl Ives bit the big one too.
If you want to bitch about this post, pucker up, Buttercup, and kiss my dainty pink asshole.
Jesus, several parts of my body hurt right now.
Oh, and the pics...........
You might think that it doesn't look all that dismal, but the blizzard like, blowing snow doesn't show up too well.
User Reviews
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-02-09 03:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:05:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-07 14:16:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 09:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eleven inches in my little town...I hate central Illinois.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-04 08:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I flew into chicago on friday. They had about 6 inches of snow. I have seen enough for the winter.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-03 19:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Posts like this make me feel better about living Califonia. Thanks.
Last week we've had highs around 60, lows around 40. Skies so blue it hurts to look at them, and nights so clear Orion is letting it all hang out.* And I felt tempted to bitch about the cold.
* Sword my ass, that's his wang hanging down there.
Submitted by AinSophAur (user info) at 2006-12-03 12:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the snow, I agree with every fiber of my being.
I live in a city that is ALREADY a shithole.
Add in super narrow streets, the complete inability for the city to clear snow, being right off of a large body of water..in a state surrounded by water damn near and the inevitable snowfalls that come along with it...uuugh.
Every time I hear someone say they love the snow, I want to beat them with a sack full of smashed assholes.
Fuck the snow.
Fuck Detroit.
Fuck snowlovers up the ass with a goddamn jackhammer.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-03 00:49:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Forensic,
If it makes you feel better it was about 70 here in NYC on Thursday and now its 35-40 here on Saturday. Hot, cold, soft, hard...My nipples are so confused.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-02 22:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coming from a wisconsin girl, +2 for this:
Here's a piece of advice from me to you; STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDWEST. IT IS A PLACE ABANDONED BY GOD.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-12-02 12:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no sympathy. Move where it's warm and let your ass thaw out.
Submitted by kimmccay (user info) at 2006-12-02 11:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah,
I fuckin HATE snow.
I 've fucked too much shit up in snow.
Damn snow....
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-12-02 11:30:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always thought that if you fell, you would kind of float to the ground like a feather.
It's only snow, stop getting so riled up.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-02 10:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Missouri. Go Rolla woo!
Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny. But still, the midwest isn't all bad. we get to make fun of you sissies who are actually effected by 20 degree weather. Come on, that's warm!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-01 18:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just found out I'm gonna be in Denver end of January...
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-12-01 17:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH AND THEY WERE ALL MEN TOO! ALL YOU SACKSUCKERS WHO ACCUSE WOMEN OF BEING SHITTY DRIVERS AND JUST SUCK MY LEFT TITTY
--------
what time should i be over for the titty sucking?
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-12-01 17:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lovely
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 17:22:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061201/ap_on_re_us/wintry_weather
Ha
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The anger in this post made me tingly in the pants.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha @ Shlongy
I have seen no evidence of global warming in my neck of the woods
Bosh, btw, there has been a lot of faggotry and douchebaggery here lately. Scruggs is behind it. You need to get your boy in check.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss snow. I can't believe it's December and it was 66 yesterday.
Thanks, global warming.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:10:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
My ass still hurts
Sorry about that. As promised, it does get bigger when aroused.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, JUST SET YOUR MIND TO IT AND IT SHALL BE.
oops caps lock was on.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:20:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88049#1980300
---------------
Bosh man, I've decided that I want you to have my babies.
I just can't figure out how I'm supposed to impregnate you.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
let's make a really deep snow angel
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My ass still hurts
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was hit by the same storm.
WOOOOOOOOOO Midwest!!
I got a snow day.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88049#1980300
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
420 hits
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SILVER AND GOLD
SILVER AND GOLD
HEY BONNIE, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE LATEST NEW FASHION ACCESSORY? IT'S CALLED 'BODY FAT', MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT SOME TIME...
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
weet
you bring the beer
ill bring the firecrackers
we'll party
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:42:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
ps wanna make out?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:40:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry dude but i love that kind of weather.
the aggrivation of driving to and from work in the snow is lame, but it is made up for by sitting near a window with a warm fire burning as blankets of snow fall down outside.
The simple pleasures of living in rural New England.
------
um... i do.
:D
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hammer pants with a bosh Patriots Starter jacket from 1994, smoking 4 cigarettes and a can of boshweiser, maybe..
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:40:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
but it is made up for by sitting near a window with a warm fire burning as blankets of snow fall down outside.
The simple pleasures of living in rural New England.
==
This made me picture you in a bosh smoking jacket with a cigar and a snifter of brandy.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ps wanna make out?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry dude but i love that kind of weather.
the aggrivation of driving to and from work in the snow is lame, but it is made up for by sitting near a window with a warm fire burning as blankets of snow fall down outside.
The simple pleasures of living in rural New England.
Submitted by Malka (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:38:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your hate. Snow is a detestable and evil thing.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HHAHAHAHAHAH
i can't wait till it snows.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You may want to consider moving. I hear it never snows in a lot of the country.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THAT could be a lot of FUN!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Skip the crank calls and I'm in.
We'll just replace "crank call people" with "perform sexual favors on each other" though.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We need to get shitfaced, smoke butts and crank call Uber people.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I drive an hour to work. In the snow it can take up to three to get back. Don't know how long it would take to get there in the snow as I just call in sick.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:31:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Every time you post, I love you more and more.
Down here in Louisiana, we don't know much about this "snow" that you speak of. The pictures tell me it's white. That all I know.
Submitted by 0bnoxious (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
wow, your life sucks, you should end it...
skate it off
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:33:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got 5" to 8" of cocksucking something for you, right here.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was like 70 degrees here yesterday. However, today they're calling for thunderstorms, 50 mph winds, and then we're going to get whacked with the storm that you just rode out.
I hate winter. No. I actually like winter, but I hate the snow.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The next mouth breather that says, "I just loooooove the snow" will be slaughtered and fed to my cat.
---
That's how you know you're not a kid anymore...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday was record breakingly warm here in PA. If someone piled snow on my car, I'd want to disembowel them with a fork, but I'd also like to wear a coat for about the first time now that it's December. I like the changing of seasons and they ain't. Perhaps it is the end times.
I love that you found a way to incorporate "dainty pink asshole." Good rantin'.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was 77°F last night and I left my windows open.
I woke up sweating this morning.
I am wearing a T-shirt.
I will be drunk on the beach tomorrow.
Have a nice day. =)
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:05:49 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm from Newcastle. I'd go sunbathing in that shit
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rantastic!
I'll kiss your dainty pink asshole anytime!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm from Newcastle. I'd go sunbathing in that shit.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-12-01 03:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wtf is 'snow'??
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-01 03:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, you are getting hit a whole lot harder than me
But trust me, it's comin my way....so. IL
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 03:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for the category. And of course a pink asshole needs lovin'.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I give you a hug or something?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this plus two is because I want to get into your pants.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See? That was better.
Your ducts are full and the flow is natural.
Good girl!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whatthefuckever! I wasn't trying to compete with that brilliant post.
I posted this because I can.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen better. Recently, in fact. http://www.ubersite.com/m/96327
No offense, but you're trying too hard, probably because of the aforementioned post.
The bile will flow when the ducts are full.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Kansas City
or Kansas Shitty
whichever
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do you live?
But I'm sorry you had a crappy day. My condolences and all that.
I live in the Midwest and I hope hope hope it doesn't snow here this weekend cause...well...I've got a lot of driving to do.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-12-01 02:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDWEST. IT IS A PLACE ABANDONED BY GOD
---------------------------------------------------------------------
weeeeep noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ITS USUALLY NEVER THIS BAD HERE IN NOVEMEBR, SHIT DA LAST NOVEMBER SNOWFALL OF 10 INCHES OR MORE HERE WAS IN 1885
THIS YEAR SUCKS WEEP
HATE DA PLAYA NOT DA GAME
GO BEARS WOO!!!