guys do some dipshit stuff for girls (w/camwhore) (long) (1862 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.15 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RAYG (the kuroneko_sama) (View user info) at 2006-12-01 04:03:34 EST
Everyone knows that we guys are totally retarded when it comes to a hot chick telling us what to do.
Infact, if the promise of high quality, double jointed, crazy freaky sex happens along. A guy would do anything. We would sucker-punch our own grandmothers, pay off some crazy bills, fund an abortion, fight the "abusive asshole ex boyfriend that they got with because they were rebelling and the junkie swore he would leave his wife for her" ex boyfriends and of course buy them stuff (jewelry, pets, cars, private islands).....
...and yes... even change your name.
Now I was dating this girl since I was 17 years old... I was with her for a total of 4 years. I was stupid, young, stupid and smitten.
After all she was one of those quirky, pent up, sheltered, quasi-nerdy chicks that could have totally been a swimsuit model or a porn star or something.... Like one of those girls in those Face Soap/Body wash commercials. And through some awesome act of god, had never really had a boyfriend because she never got a drivers license to get out of her "middle of nowhere" home for fun and her parents were over protective so she had a TON of sexual frustration to take out on me.
...and we would talk about getting married and all sorts of shit like that.
I was totally retarded.
Enough so to buy plane tickets 4-6 times a year to fly out to Seattle and spend a week or 2 with her until she was out of school and we were ready to get a place together......
...
Anyways at the time I was trying to make it big in the media... I wanted to be a movie star or a game show host or even a weatherman or some junk.....
I settled for promotional modeling and local TV stuff
For those of you unfamiliar... promotional models are like those girls that stand in front of cars at car shows, or those jerks at the mall that flirt with you and try to get you to enter a contest for "free" security system, pool, or storm windows. they don't do TV and stuff, and usually end up being broke, addicted to heroin and sucking off guys for websites that pay them $5 a blow... or kill themselves when they realize models are useless after they are put to pasture at the ripe old age of 23 (when the perky boobs start turning to meat flaps) or doing basic bridal shows and stuff.
Now promotional modeling is dumb, they basically pay you 100 a day (they say $20-$75 an hour when you sign the contract, but it's a $100 a day minimum and your rarely ever working for more than like 20 minutes on anything worth while)
(On a side note.... L.L. Bean catalog people are ASSHOLES... those pictures in the catalog of people enjoying fun out in the snow.... are actually shot in a desert...YES A DESERT....the "Desert of Maine" actually... they had the models in full winter snow gear in a desert, in direct sunlight, in the middle of July just because their cameras couldn't handle the weather....."hey, those sand dunes look a lot like sledding hills, lets have the editing dept fix it later"...cockbags)
...
Well when I suggested using a pen name... after all.... A good portion of Hollywood wasn't born with the names you see on the screen. she suggested I do a full legal name change....
....so I did.
Well because I'm an idiot she convinced me to change my first name to Romeo..... Yes Romeo
Like Romeo & Juliet....
Let me explain.... her online name was lady_juliet, and I was under sir_romeo and she thought it'd be all romantic, and poetic and "fun" to have Romeo and Juliet as a couple in real life.
Well it only costs $50 to legally change your name in this state. Infact, it was a really simple operation...... way too easy.........
I wish there was like an assload of red tape and forms and waiting periods and stuff.... (Kinda like getting a sex change...you gotta live for a year like that to see if you like it of some junk.)
But apparently it's no different than if a woman changes her last name when she gets married.
So I went from RLG to RRLG... Raymond was now my middle name. Though when I signed anything I signed it as R. Raymond, and not Romeo
I figured id "play it cool" (god that sounds stupid looking back) and just tell people I was named after someone in the family (like I actually was) and it was easier to use my middle name as a first name, so we wouldn't get confused.
People accepted it.
I was always kind of embarrassed every time I had to say what the "R" was for
...but it didn't stop there.... She then convinced me to get a license plate that said "ROMEO" so she could do the same on her car....
....and as I said before...I'm a guy.... She was hot....and sexed me up several times a day.... So I pretty much said "yes dear": and let her walk all over me....... (Cunt)
So then I had "ROMEO" as a license plate on my car.
....we broke up about 6 months after that. And I stopped the modeling to take on hosting a local TV show (another stupid project that worked out for shit)
And after approximately 7 months as being known as R. Raymond... I had my name changed back
To this day when I get pulled over the cops sometimes mention it.... and my passengers snicker at my stupidity. And when I have to fill out things like applications, I have to write it in the "alias" section.....
...I suppose it beats getting a tattoo
.....I'm still a bit bitter.......
And my fiancé thinks it's funny and has to shout my "full" name at me when she's yelling at me.
...at least after I get married next summer I dont hafta worry bout that shit.
.....so what stupid things have you all done for a chick....(or a guy if that's your thing)
User Reviews
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-01-13 21:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it is most likely the worst picture of her i could have possibly found
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-13 21:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that dame was your mother for a second.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-12-18 12:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you might have been one of the dumbest people alive. i hope in the name of ronnie james dio that you smartened up. in the way you write, it seems you have. wahoo!
1983 called. it wants its haircut and tucked in shirt back.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-12-18 11:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
(On a side note.... L.L. Bean catalog people are ASSHOLES... those pictures in the catalog of people enjoying fun out in the snow.... are actually shot in a desert...YES A DESERT....the "Desert of Maine" actually... they had the models in full winter snow gear in a desert, in direct sunlight, in the middle of July just because their cameras couldn't handle the weather....."hey, those sand dunes look a lot like sledding hills, lets have the editing dept fix it later"...cockbags) ""
OMG YOU MEAN MOVIES AND TV AND PICTURES IN CATALOGS ARE FAKE?????????????????
HE-MAN WASN'T REAL????
-----
Awesomesauce.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-18 11:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i love the outfit eric harris
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-12-18 11:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
man I'm glad I'm ugly.
never have to worry about things like that. You know, having a girlfriend, stuff like that.
.....sigh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-18 10:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not THIS homo-fest again...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-12-18 10:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-18 09:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:35:23 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't read it. i'm just wondering...
why did you put on make up?
AND WHAT'S WITH THE PARACHUTE PANTS?!?
---------------
HAHAHhahahaah Nooonie made me laugh, the first and last time that will happen.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She is NOT hot.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-12-03 19:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
awesome butt cut
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2006-12-03 14:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell is going on in here? this cannot be real.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-12-03 09:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like this guy i used to know at my school called Russell. I found his blog one time and it turns out hes gay. And a slasher.
..
I don't know where I'm going with this...
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:34:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Um.. about the, uh, "beautiful chick"...
To each his own, I guess.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-12-02 12:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
She has "crazy eyes". Run away, Homeo.
___________________________________________________________________________
No THIS is funny.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-12-02 02:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-02 00:28:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
...says frank"RAYNOLD"thebear (yes ray-nold)
------------------------------------
it's rEynold
it's french
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2006-12-02 02:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This screams "approval seeking vagina with no sense of identity".
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-02 00:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...says frank"RAYNOLD"thebear (yes ray-nold)
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
and his middle name is Lewis!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 18:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
She has "crazy eyes". Run away, Homeo.
-----
yep, I can spot those from a mile away
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How in hp;y fuck is someone so fucking ugly, stupid and homosexual as you is still fucking aliv? By gods if I habd't taken all those drugs I would give you such a betaing....
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
optometrist
n : a person skilled in testing for defects of vision in order to prescribe corrective glasses.
Submitted by Disco (user info) at 2006-12-01 16:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...saved by the bell..ROFL
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hell i laughed
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hilarious
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty funny. You obviously watched way to much Saved by the Bell as a kid.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the picture of you (seemingly after a base jump or something) standing next to your red audi with 'romeo' plates and dice hanging from the mirror might be my favorite picture of all time.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now i read it.
you ARE retarded. (that was an intonation implying agreement with previous statements made by yourself)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
(On a side note.... L.L. Bean catalog people are ASSHOLES... those pictures in the catalog of people enjoying fun out in the snow.... are actually shot in a desert...YES A DESERT....the "Desert of Maine" actually... they had the models in full winter snow gear in a desert, in direct sunlight, in the middle of July just because their cameras couldn't handle the weather....."hey, those sand dunes look a lot like sledding hills, lets have the editing dept fix it later"...cockbags) ""
OMG YOU MEAN MOVIES AND TV AND PICTURES IN CATALOGS ARE FAKE?????????????????
HE-MAN WASN'T REAL????
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you DO know this is ubersite right?
release the hounds!
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
too bad you're fucking ugly
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:09:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Two things:
1. Hey look, it's Conan O'Brian's nerdier cousin!
BLASPHEMY
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
She has "crazy eyes". Run away, Homeo.
hahahaha
I wish I could see the picture so I could see why everyone is mocking you. good luck.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, you are one brave sonofabitch to post those pics of yourself.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This assclown even makes nitty look hetero.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've seen hot, and she's nowhere near.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
After reading all that, my comprehension of the material's undertone, I came away with a general feeling that can only be surmised by yelling:
"Impacted Fecal Matter"
OHHHHHHHHh!!!!! the battle that testosterone and estrogen must be waging within that dainty body of yours.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think we've worked out why you never became a movie star.
+1 for balls-to-the-wall courage in posting those pictures.
You're gonna get boot stomped.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post seriously smells of K-Y, rigid latex and vasoline. I bet you could pass a peach pit with nary a wince from your Bon-belle'd lips.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a dick
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-12-01 10:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:29:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG you think that woman is hot?
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I... have no idea how to rate this.
Have a 0 while I figure this one out.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She definately does have crazy eyes though, she reminds me of a hyper local morning talk show host that secretely takes crystal meth and beats her kids with wire hangers.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:11:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
i average about 185lbs give or take 5 lbs... its jsut some clothes really dont flatter me well, its the curse of being irish/italian all chest and shoulder, with little t-rex arms
its my ginger-guido heratage.
-------------------------------------------------------
I busted out laughing at this one, bc I know people with this terrible affliction.
Also the short stout legs on a tallish body comes to mind...aka duckism.
Why would you keep the plates?
Don't you feel your balls retreat up into your body when you step into a bright red car with Romeo vanity plates?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't read it. i'm just wondering...
why did you put on make up?
AND WHAT'S WITH THE PARACHUTE PANTS?!?
Submitted by combatwombat (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I um.. I can't uh... I really don't believe you actually posted these pictures of yourself and actually claimed them to be um... yourself. And wow. Yeah, you're gay.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
u serious?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-12-01 09:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Two things:
1. Hey look, it's Conan O'Brian's nerdier cousin!
2. Nice sunglasses. Did you borrow them from Corey Hart?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-01 08:12:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She has "crazy eyes". Run away, Homeo.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:28:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
You lead the league in gayness, Romeo.
--------------------
For the first time ever, I am with dipshit on this one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You lead the league in gayness, Romeo.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-01 07:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to smack your face with a shovel you smug fagot.
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HA YOU TOOL BAG ID RATHER FUCK YOU THEN HER...
GO FAGS WOO!!
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
eye of the beholder and whatnot... she has one hell of a body too
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH AN ASS LOAD OF UGLY
GOOD THING I LIKE DOGS SO ID HIT IT
GO DOGS WOO!!!
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it isntthe most flattering picture of either of us, but yes, she is quite beautiful
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG you think that woman is hot?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-01 06:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dear Lord. Just... Sweet baby jeebus.
I am aghast
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
more like kurenoko-chan
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait till Method gets here.
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU FAG
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gotta love the angry alters
Submitted by spontaneous (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I DON'T LIKE YOU
YOU LOOK LIKE A FAG
WAIT I'M A FAG TOO..
CAN I LICK YOUR MAN BOOBS?
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but its easy to lose weight or gain muscle if i need to... i just wish i wasnt only 5'7
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 05:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i average about 185lbs give or take 5 lbs... its jsut some clothes really dont flatter me well, its the curse of being irish/italian all chest and shoulder, with little t-rex arms
its my ginger-guido heratage.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your body is all disproportional, like you gain and lose weight a lot
Submitted by RoytheJoy (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was the Simpson quote at the bottom of the page when I initially read this:
Yeah. Wait a minute. It's the guy from TV. My kid's
hero...Cruddy...Crummy...Krusty the Clown!
-- Homer Simpson
Krusty Gets Busted
---------------------
NO LIE!
---------------------
what we do for sex.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He he
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 This made me smile (but at your misfortune)
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-01 04:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...and if anyone wants a gameshow host or a weatherman...im your guy...
or at least let me do some cartoon voiceover work.