1994 (long, drunk) + camwhore (1094 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.03 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Madame Destrukt (View user info) at 2006-12-02 13:04:35 EST
Race riot. A few hundred kids approaching one another from opposite sides of the soccer field. Blacks against the mexicans and the asians. And all of them against the whites.
At a high school with over four thousand students, I'm sure many got picked up, or got on busses, without knowing what was going on. Many others did the same while knowing and were just glad to be getting away from it.
I watched it all through a heavily tinted bulletproof window. The counselor was out doing something, and my police had not yet arrived. I saw the two large clusters of people, if I had to guess, a couple hundred in each, on opposite sides of the field. No leaders came out and exchanged words. They were in their crowds for a few moments, then the crowds decended on one another.
Hundreds of bodies milled around the middle of the field, I couldn't figure out where they were going or what they were doing, it was like watching a frantic beehive. Some fell into small groups, wrestling and generally doing anything they could to beat the living shit out of some opponent. But I think most of it was running, and screaming, attempting to give up to some animal passion. It wasn't complete anarchy, but the closest most of them had been able to entertain in their lives.
The cops didn't even don riot gear. Their appearance sent most of the kids running off in every direction to get away from the school. To the best of my knowledge, no one was stabbed, shot, or killed. It made the local news of course, but it seems few were momentaril detained and, again, to the best of my knowledge, no one was actually arrested.
But it did delay the officer coming to see me. My best friend from junior high thought she was doing me a favor. We'd barely spoken to one another our freshman year, we had no hard feelings against one another, but we were on very different paths, and the cruel politics of high school made it so that we were now just casual friends in passing.
I don't even remember how she saw, maybe she just assumed from me wearing a long sleeved shirt in 90 degree weather, she knew me and my family well enough. She went to a counselor and told them she had a friend who was being abused. It was late in the day that I got called into the counselors office and I doubt anyone knew what was going to happen after school.
Why I didn't just lie my way out of the situation, I don't know. I really don't remember talking to the counselor, but I revealed enough that I had to stay and talk to the police and have pictures taken of my bruises.
I might have been able to catch the last school bus if the riot hadn't gone down, but since it did, I surpassed my five minute window of calling home by far. When the officer did arrive I had to pose for polaroids and was actually given a choice. Did I want to go home, or did I want to go to a receiving home?
Naieve as I was, I knew receiveing homes, group homes, foster care, etc, were very very likely to be worse places than I lived in. I was spoiled. Had my own phoneline since I was 10, got the marjority of clothes and toys I ever asked for, had a nice bicycle, my own room (well, I was an only child), went to summer camp, could get whatever I wanted at the grocery store, video rental store, or when we went out for fast food (which was most of the time). Hell, I had a full blown entertainment system in my room, tv, cable (black box even), nintendo, stereo system. In no way was I lacking in physical accomodations.
But I chose the receiving home anyway. I would get so much shit for being late, and being late delivered by a police car, that I was so terrified of what would be done to me that I chose the home. For all the good that did.
When they check you in, they take you into the bathroom and have you strip naked. They then fill out on their paperwork every bruise, scar, birthmark, and freckle you have on your body on their little diagram of a human shape. Flourescent lights too. Horrid. Your clothes are taken away and you have to wear their donation provided clothes. You cannot modify those clothes in any way. No writing on them, cutting them or anything else.
It was after lights out when I was escorted to my bed. It was only 3 to a room, each in single beds with a cabinet to keep the belongings they'd given you, they did a decent job of not making it seem like jail. After they left me I broke all their rules and went to the bed of my roommate who was crying. She told me her story and the best I could do was assure her that one day, even if she didn't get what she wanted, one day, it would be better.
Communal kitchens all smell the same. They put me to work duty right away, washing the breakfast dishes. They had a power washer, like in restaurants, but it still took some time to get them all thru. Comforing a distressed girl in the night, and that smell, oh that smell, it was so like girl scout camp. Everyone so lost and broken, and I finally felt like I belonged.
As I said, I was spoiled. Talking to my social worker was a nightmare. I do understand from her point of view, she has to deal with kids who are lucky to have a pair of shorts in winter and be fed a spoonfull of peanut butter a day. She ran a few materialistic questions by me then told me to go home and keep my head down till I was 18. That was not the droid I was looking for.
Things about me had been reported to CPS a few times in the past. Not since I was little though. For what I can't tell you, but my daycare reported my parents once because I'd been spanked so much I couldn't sit down to pee. And for a week I had a hand print across my face, but that was my grandma. My mom's mom. What I remember is how much I loved that when I got to visit her she'd always have bubble bath for me. Apparently during one of those baths I was so excited I was splashing water everywhere and made a big mess. She slapped me.
She checked herself into a mental health clinic after she did that. Even I think that's a bit extreme, but at least she felt some remorse. I was not a dumb or ADD kid, I could be talked to and reasoned with, I respected the requests of people even if I didn't understand why. Well, before I was a teenager at least.
Rollerskating was a passion to me. I never took any lessons, but I loved to go. I think part of it was that I loved music, as I do today. Almost every Sunday, for years and years, my parents would drop me off alone with a wad of cash to get in, rent skates, and feed myself. The independance they let me build by doing that, I think, is a large part of the reason why I hated it so much when I became a teenager and they suddenly had to know about my every movement.
Nancy Reagan had "Say NO to drugs" put into every box of lemonheads I got out of the vending machine. Yet again I can't tell you why, but I knew not all adults were to be trusted. By skill or by luck, I was never taken advantage of, in any way. (if you get to talk to them intimately enough, virtualy ever girl my age has a story of rape or molestation, don't know if it's a trend or true, but they all do) I was a good student and enjoyed the academic, if not social, aspects of school. Bit of an outsider, but damn it, I was a good kid.
Nothing I did revoked that from me. It was simply my age. Or Rikki Lake.
Science. It's now possible to create a child from two eggs. As long as this technology exists, men aren't needed to continue the life cycle. I wish more discoveries have been made in genetic engineering. A good friend of mine wants to do the two egg thing and have a child. I don't want the depression that flows thru my bloodline to be carried on to another. I may almost hate my mother, and revere my grandmother, but we all think about things to much. And we always think in terms of which is the greater evil, never what might be good. All 3 of us are incredibly differnt people, yet we all have seen life as "Me vs. Life".
Grandma died at 61, Mom at 40. At 27 I believe that I'm somehow working on borrowed time. I should be dead already. Born 39, 59 and 79. I fucked up not having a child 99. We're meant to die out. We're bad blood.
There are things you teach/learn, and there are things that are intrinsic. Maybe I just learned it, but I think it's inside. And I don't want another person to have to live like this. Granted, if science did have control over these things it would probably be used to create massive millitant blood thirsty armys, but it's nice to think that they could take it away.
We'd have an incredibly intelligent, beautiful child together, but I can't do it if there's any chance she'll end up with my affliction.
Excuse our necks, we're leaning. I'm middle, the friend being discussed is left. Right is another friend who has her own insane children with men.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-12-05 00:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Which one of those three dudes is you?
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i didnt read this but you look better without the goth makeup.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU AND YOUR GOTH FRIENDS HAVE EVIL SCARY EYES....
oh noes!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ignore my previous niceties towards your appearance
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:31:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:00:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
goth chicks dress in black because they are fat.
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only the black haired ones - on the rare occasion you see a blonde goth chick, she's always thin as a rail...
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And she's usually looking to blow some rails.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:00:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
goth chicks dress in black because they are fat.
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only the black haired ones - on the rare occasion you see a blonde goth chick, she's always thin as a rail...
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is it just me or are 98% of goths fat losers?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:00:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
goth chicks dress in black because they are fat.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-12-03 15:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The chick on the right is doable I suppose.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-03 14:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:43:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:16:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships.
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Could we have a 'relationship'? I mean I don't have as much money as shlongy or as big a penis as kracka, but I DO spend all my time on the interweb and I'm a level 95 Orc with a +12 axe of death.
===
Babe, I care little about the size of a man's wallet or his dangle. You had me at "geek sex."
==============
and here I thought you fell for the ol' "orc" line.
That's what usually bags em for me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-02 21:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm bored
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-02 21:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jameson 18 year aged.
I have had no power for 2 days.
Submitted by showfishorama (user info) at 2006-12-02 21:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a joke, right?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 21:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What KIND of whiskey, scourge?
I'm off for a bottle of red and a movie with my BFF. Good times.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the writing was too...fragmented?... for my taste. it didn't hold ITSELF together well enough to hold me.
the camwhore was unnecessary.
anyway...i'm going to have a whiskey.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:16:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships.
---
Could we have a 'relationship'? I mean I don't have as much money as shlongy or as big a penis as kracka, but I DO spend all my time on the interweb and I'm a level 95 Orc with a +12 axe of death.
===
Babe, I care little about the size of a man's wallet or his dangle. You had me at "geek sex."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:16:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships.
---
Could we have a 'relationship'? I mean I don't have as much money as shlongy or as big a penis as kracka, but I DO spend all my time on the interweb and I'm a level 95 Orc with a +12 axe of death.
We could play D&D together? And then have geek sex that last 12 seconds? I could post about it on my blog? I have an employees discount at McDonald's I could get you fries for only 80 cents? Call me tomorrow? And we could end all of our declarative sentences in question marks to go against the trend and rebel?
**********
DOODLES!!!! Step away from the computer. Now.
If you think ANYONE here is good more consistently than Jack Mc, you are out of the
applesauce cartel.... You shall starve, bitch....
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships.
---
Could we have a 'relationship'? I mean I don't have as much money as shlongy or as big a penis as kracka, but I DO spend all my time on the interweb and I'm a level 95 Orc with a +12 axe of death.
We could play D&D together? And then have geek sex that last 12 seconds? I could post about it on my blog? I have an employees discount at McDonald's I could get you fries for only 80 cents? Call me tomorrow? And we could end all of our declarative sentences in question marks to go against the trend and rebel?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-02 20:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:18:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack is much too modest. There are a few good writers here, but none as good as Jack.
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I enjoy Circe's stories the most—though her latest let me down though.
Jack is definitely within the top five though.
Eitherway, you're good stick around
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 19:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually read this. I wonder how many of those who reviewed it were simply reviewing a camwhore.
As far as the science goes, I'm interested in reading more. I am lucky enough to have the best father ever, and there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships. So as far as a world without men goes, I wouldn't ever want to live there. I would like to visit it, though.
I didn't find this to be self-serving or overly emo. I think it takes a certain amount of courage to be able to share such personal tales.
I hope that writing it was cathartic for you.
********************
I read EVERY post on which I leave a comment. Sacrilicious, you are probably right about people reviewing a camwhore, but I think those types of people are idiots.
The author of the post may have some issues to deal with, but she has things more together than she lets on...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually read this. I wonder how many of those who reviewed it were simply reviewing a camwhore.
As far as the science goes, I'm interested in reading more. I am lucky enough to have the best father ever, and there are a lot of men in my life with whom I have very strong and healthy friendships. So as far as a world without men goes, I wouldn't ever want to live there. I would like to visit it, though.
I didn't find this to be self-serving or overly emo. I think it takes a certain amount of courage to be able to share such personal tales.
I hope that writing it was cathartic for you.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd be willing to bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS and my left nut that one of you smells like McDonalds french fries...all the time.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It puzzles me that you realize what the problem is, yet you do nothing to correct it. Getting drunk and crying on the shoulders of internet-strangers isn't the answer, unless the answer that you want is attention - be it positive or negative.
Now, quit whining. Pick yourself up. Brush yourself off. Go kick some ass.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-02 18:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That is a lot of red eye
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Kurt died when he was 28. Only just, but 28.
===
FUCK YOU BUTTSLUT!!!!1!
Born: February 20, 1967
Died: April 5, 1994
DO TEH MATHZ0RZ
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kurt died when he was 28. Only just, but 28.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 16:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:28:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:18:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Granted, Kurt was our Jim Morrison/Janis Joplin/Jimi Hendrix. I'm not even a fan of The Gratefull Dead, yet I still cared.
===
Did you know that all four of them died at age 27? Freaky, huh?
--
There's a guy who has written a few books on Rock'n'Roll deaths, and when he is on Coast to Coast he kicks ass. He has ALL KINDS of '27' coincidences that make you sit up and scratch your head. R. Gary Patterson.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-12-02 16:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wwweeeeird
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Naieve? huh? spell check.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Sorry, not impressed with your sad tale.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Remind me...which one of those three pigs are you again?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU ARE DISGUSTING
BLAAAAAAAARF
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96443
U HAVE BEEN BEEBED
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Old fucker that I am, I remember the deaths of Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Elvis, Stevie Ray,
Ricky Nelson, Keith Moon, Lowell George, John Bonham, etc.
Yes, I was sad when I heard of the death of Jerry Garcia, even though I was never a big Dead fan.
A lifestyle filled with money and drugs may often lead to an early death, and it is even sadder because the people who provided that money by their support and adulation are left cold and alone.
The needless death of John Lennon hurt me more than anything else; on a par with the death of my own father...
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:18:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Granted, Kurt was our Jim Morrison/Janis Joplin/Jimi Hendrix. I'm not even a fan of The Gratefull Dead, yet I still cared.
===
Did you know that all four of them died at age 27? Freaky, huh?
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:59:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'll always remember 1994 as the year that... ate shit." -Mike Dirnt
He's right -- Kurt Cobain blew his head off, OJ fucked our justice system, etc.
__________________________________________________
I almost mentioned Kurt here, but decided not since this took place before that. I specifically wanted to bring up how *everyone* got upset about Kurt but no one gave a shit the next year when Jerry Garcia died. I know Nirvana was much more relevent to our age, but even the burn out hippies had nothing to say when Jerry died.
Granted, Kurt was our Jim Morrison/Janis Joplin/Jimi Hendrix. I'm not even a fan of The Gratefull Dead, yet I still cared.
In 4 years of highschool you get to experience 7 different years of students. When I was forced to rallys and such there always seemed to be a particular apathetic miasma from our class. I've never understood why.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:18:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:58:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:40:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom cashed in her chips when I was sixteen, after years of laboriously converting her liver to stone through the liberal application of booze. Her side of the family was pretty much insane, but that's where my storytelling / escapist / head in the clouds / head up my ass gene comes from, so it wasn't all bad. Instead of thinking of it as a crazy gene, I think of it as a coping gene. I don't drink or do drugs, prescribed or otherwise. I just write a shitload of bad stories.
_________________________________________________________
I'm glad to hear that's working out for you. Honestly.
Thanks.
And your stories aren't bad, piss ant. I came here from b@w and started reading all the grubermadness. My brain has osterized (blended) it all so much that I can't say if I remember you from posts or comments, but if you need a little ego boost, consider yourself boosted, you make me feel fuzzy.
***********
Jack is much too modest. There are a few good writers here, but none as good as Jack.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'll always remember 1994 as the year that... ate shit." -Mike Dirnt
He's right -- Kurt Cobain blew his head off, OJ fucked our justice system, etc.
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:40:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom cashed in her chips when I was sixteen, after years of laboriously converting her liver to stone through the liberal application of booze. Her side of the family was pretty much insane, but that's where my storytelling / escapist / head in the clouds / head up my ass gene comes from, so it wasn't all bad. Instead of thinking of it as a crazy gene, I think of it as a coping gene. I don't drink or do drugs, prescribed or otherwise. I just write a shitload of bad stories.
_________________________________________________________
I'm glad to hear that's working out for you. Honestly.
Thanks.
And your stories aren't bad, piss ant. I came here from b@w and started reading all the grubermadness. My brain has osterized (blended) it all so much that I can't say if I remember you from posts or comments, but if you need a little ego boost, consider yourself boosted, you make me feel fuzzy.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
prediction: her next post, she admits she's a tricer--- lesbian.
Submitted by MadameDestrukt (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:33:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is well-written, as were some of your other posts.
The "bad blood" and relatives being born in years that ended in 9 is a pile
of crap. You said you liked to skate: Skate that shit off and get on with life.
________________________________________________
Crap it may be, but it is true crap. I like to harp on coincidences. Find a place that will let a 27 year old skate without escorting a child and I'll do my best.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom cashed in her chips when I was sixteen, after years of laboriously converting her liver to stone through the liberal application of booze. Her side of the family was pretty much insane, but that's where my storytelling / escapist / head in the clouds / head up my ass gene comes from, so it wasn't all bad. Instead of thinking of it as a crazy gene, I think of it as a coping gene. I don't drink or do drugs, prescribed or otherwise. I just write a shitload of bad stories.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:33:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is well-written, as were some of your other posts.
The "bad blood" and relatives being born in years that ended in 9 is a pile
of crap. You said you liked to skate: Skate that shit off and get on with life.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's now possible to create a child from two eggs"
Huh? Could you link to a source for that? I've not heard of such technology.
"We're meant to die out. We're bad blood."
+2 for recognizing that and acting accordingly! I wish others were as responsible and forward thinking as you. The ability to accurately self-evaluate is really quite rare. Well done.
By the way, is the chick on the left Tina Yothers?
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment