What Grinds JMG's Gears? (2969 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.67 on 82 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2006-12-04 10:47:59 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by ritzcrackerjax (user info) at 2007-03-06 23:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree they were built for a purpose, and I'd barely make it out of my driveway without an SUV here in Montana. But yeah, that does piss me off. All the people who live in "town" have SUV's and don't drive fuckin anywhere.
Submitted by Montucky (user info) at 2007-02-13 11:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny, but in defense of the SUVs, which I typically don't like, they are very practical here in Montana.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-13 11:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Congratulations, United Negro College Fund"
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hope you start posting again soon.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-01-09 18:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mildly amusing
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-01-05 22:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who cares! It's alcohol fun time!
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2007-01-05 21:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You continue to be an inspiration to us all.
Word, nigga.
-$500,000
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-12-13 21:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll refrain from analyzing this bit by bit, and tell you that although I don't agree with ALL the sentiments implied or expressed, this was mostly one funny piece of fucking work. Congrats.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-12-07 00:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2006-12-06 10:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
also here's a +2.
(getting hit with a triangular piece of chocolate: "toblerownd")
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2006-12-06 10:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what do you call it when you hit someone in the face with a club sandwich?
"provolownd"
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-12-05 21:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Although it should have been:
5 |\| 0 \/\/ |\| 3 |)
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-12-05 21:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at the SN0WN3D part. I like.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:55:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just have a few things to say in response to this Jewish propaganda...
A) Ariel Sharon looked like Darth Vader...with the mask off.
B) Michael Richards, Jimmy Carter, and Mel Gibson are my personal heros.
C) Fuck Microsoft...AND Apple. They are ALL vampires.
D) Judge Mathis is a stupid reggin...that's "nigger" spelled backwards...because he's a backward-ass reggin. (hahaha...no $500,000 fine here!)
E) Hate speech laws are the end of free speech. Freedom is as much about being able to voice displeasure with each other as it is to kiss each other's asses. Perhaps moreso.
F) When are you gonna get it... The Department of Homeland Security is our Gestapo. They create patsies and scapegoats so we will all remain afraid and turn to THEM to get the job done. It's called "problem/reaction/solution". We are being taken for a ride by the very people in whom we entrust the power to protect us. This is an old old trick and I suggest we all start opening our eyes. The Muslims are patsies. A certain group of people needs us to hate them because they need them out of the way. They will label anyone who speaks this truth an "anti-semite" as they have been doing for decades. What's worse...the public at large will buy it lock, stock, and barrel.
Furthermore...they need an excuse for why the stock market crashes in a few days, weeks, or months. Anyone been looking at the U.S. dollar lately? Lowest it's been in 15 years. It's almost worth exactly HALF that of the British Pound. Know why??? Let's just say it has something to do with the fact that British Empire is alive and well and has been ALL ALONG! We are now their strong-arm. We do the dirty work while they secretly - through our Federal Reserve Banking System - ciphen our wealth.
Anyone remember what I old you about how the international bankers create depressions artificially to rob the people of their wealth? Well, you're about to get a front row seat very soon, I suspect. Enjoy the show!
Here's a hint for ya... Put your money in silver and gold NOW. Don't wait.
Watch out for the English Rothchilds. They aren't through yet. NAFTA is coming, and sadly, so is the New World Order.
The sooner you all stop living in a dream world with your 2 minutes of entertainment and modern day silicon diversions the better off you'll be. """
i hope this is true.
this would kick ass.
<dreams of empire>
i was talking to filthy the other day via encrypted messages on ubersite and when the dollar goes above 2 to the pound we will demask and take over the strategic reasons of indiana and texas.
go british empire woo!
it may take us a while to get you cunts back for the revolutionary war but as we said at the time 'forsooth you traitors we'll be back'.
and we are.
all rothschilded up.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so true.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-12-05 01:46:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
People tell me I'm crazy, but I think Mace Windu looks alot like Samuel L. jackson.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-05 01:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-04 23:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by _God (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SN0WN3D!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll grind your gears anytime baby! Woo!
What? Yeah, that didn't even make sense to me.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:29:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
SUVs are just minivans for pussies who don't think minivans are cool.
Man up. Buy a fucking minivan.
---
...I drive a minivan...
<sobs>
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:04:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff JMG. I laughed like a little girl getting tickled by an army of elves.
------
holy shit!
nice post. jared being angy. i like that idea.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-12-04 20:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-12-04 20:26:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought that Ghadaffi looked like he could be Gene Simmons' brother.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:17:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lately I've been becoming irrationally angry at jewelry commercials. The Kay ones are the worst. I think it's the little stories they create just to sell whatever new little design they've made up is. I don't even mind that they made up some new design, what I get annoyed about is that they pretend that it has this deeper meaning. Take this year's little swirl of ever increasing sizes to show how your love has grown throughout the years.
Oh give me a fucking break.
I worked in jewelry when I was in college. I would have far more respect if they were honest in their ads:
==========================================
Let's face it, you put off shopping for weeks and weeks. Now it's do or die time and the mall closes in half an hour. You know that she is going to go over the limit you set for each other so fuck it, just go to the nearest jewelry store and throw money at the problem. What woman doesn't want jewelry?
ps. Make sure she has pierced ears before you buy earrings. You're supposed to notice that sort of thing.
==========================================
Now isn't that more honest and less irritating than some retarded little vignette?
She even blogs in OTHER peoples' posts.
Good fucking grief this broad complains a lot.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:46:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"JMG - would the use of the phrase "sand-nigger" also be subject to the fine, and would THAT fine go to the NAACP?"
I think that they pay YOU if you use that phrase, but I'll have JewToast check on the legals of that.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NAACP and UNCF = Same thing, really.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh great honk.
After reading the ETS comment, I feel the need to either bo buy a cave in Budapest or a rifle in Oklahoma. I'm not sure which.
Neither seems logical, but then again, the mini-rant isn't entirely either.
JMG - would the use of the phrase "sand-nigger" also be subject to the fine, and would THAT fine go to the NAACP?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just have a few things to say in response to this Jewish propaganda...
A) Ariel Sharon looked like Darth Vader...with the mask off.
B) Michael Richards, Jimmy Carter, and Mel Gibson are my personal heros.
C) Fuck Microsoft...AND Apple. They are ALL vampires.
D) Judge Mathis is a stupid reggin...that's "nigger" spelled backwards...because he's a backward-ass reggin. (hahaha...no $500,000 fine here!)
E) Hate speech laws are the end of free speech. Freedom is as much about being able to voice displeasure with each other as it is to kiss each other's asses. Perhaps moreso.
F) When are you gonna get it... The Department of Homeland Security is our Gestapo. They create patsies and scapegoats so we will all remain afraid and turn to THEM to get the job done. It's called "problem/reaction/solution". We are being taken for a ride by the very people in whom we entrust the power to protect us. This is an old old trick and I suggest we all start opening our eyes. The Muslims are patsies. A certain group of people needs us to hate them because they need them out of the way. They will label anyone who speaks this truth an "anti-semite" as they have been doing for decades. What's worse...the public at large will buy it lock, stock, and barrel.
Furthermore...they need an excuse for why the stock market crashes in a few days, weeks, or months. Anyone been looking at the U.S. dollar lately? Lowest it's been in 15 years. It's almost worth exactly HALF that of the British Pound. Know why??? Let's just say it has something to do with the fact that British Empire is alive and well and has been ALL ALONG! We are now their strong-arm. We do the dirty work while they secretly - through our Federal Reserve Banking System - ciphen our wealth.
Anyone remember what I old you about how the international bankers create depressions artificially to rob the people of their wealth? Well, you're about to get a front row seat very soon, I suspect. Enjoy the show!
Here's a hint for ya... Put your money in silver and gold NOW. Don't wait.
Watch out for the English Rothchilds. They aren't through yet. NAFTA is coming, and sadly, so is the New World Order.
The sooner you all stop living in a dream world with your 2 minutes of entertainment and modern day silicon diversions the better off you'll be.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like someone's upset because he's all out of corn slims, vegetable drops and treat sticks.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha Citibank_Jen.
Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
;)
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:35:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:14:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls + automotive talk = hot.
See below.
---------------
HAHA Hey baby, need a lube job?
I didn't have much of a choice, the boyfriend is a mechanic. I couldn't help but to pick up some knowledge after all that time.
---
I'm sure you'll make my engine run right.
Apollo, stick to convertibles. Anything with a roof would be too...restrictive...for you, I fear."""
hahaahahah you haven't done a 'head' joke for AGES.
time to retire the gag old boy.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What wasn't there to love?
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
applause
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:17:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lately I've been becoming irrationally angry at jewelry commercials. The Kay ones are the worst. I think it's the little stories they create just to sell whatever new little design they've made up is. I don't even mind that they made up some new design, what I get annoyed about is that they pretend that it has this deeper meaning. Take this year's little swirl of ever increasing sizes to show how your love has grown throughout the years.
Oh give me a fucking break.
I worked in jewelry when I was in college. I would have far more respect if they were honest in their ads:
==========================================
Let's face it, you put off shopping for weeks and weeks. Now it's do or die time and the mall closes in half an hour. You know that she is going to go over the limit you set for each other so fuck it, just go to the nearest jewelry store and throw money at the problem. What woman doesn't want jewelry?
ps. Make sure she has pierced ears before you buy earrings. You're supposed to notice that sort of thing.
==========================================
Now isn't that more honest and less irritating than some retarded little vignette?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you kidding? I just bought a Porsche Cayenne just so I could drive up McKinley!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna get me a $90,000.00 SUV and climb mountains too!
Just as soon as that check comes in from Mrs. Abacha...
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for the palpatine-comparrison
+1 for the ms-player lettering . You F***ing made me irfanview the damn thing !!!
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Word.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:35:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:14:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls + automotive talk = hot.
See below.
---------------
HAHA Hey baby, need a lube job?
I didn't have much of a choice, the boyfriend is a mechanic. I couldn't help but to pick up some knowledge after all that time.
---
I'm sure you'll make my engine run right.
Apollo, stick to convertibles. Anything with a roof would be too...restrictive...for you, I fear.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:24:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
SUVs. Shit. Every single one of them. ""
not true.
i would rape my grandmothers corpse for a porsche cayenne.
my next car is going to ba an audi Q7.
they are fucking lovely.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
according to your plan, Snoop Dogg will be providing a sizable endowment to the UNCF.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I SPIT ON YOUR FREEDOM!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:14:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls + automotive talk = hot.
See below.
---------------
HAHA Hey baby, need a lube job?
I didn't have much of a choice, the boyfriend is a mechanic. I couldn't help but to pick up some knowledge after all that time.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was delightful.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The MOTHER of the PWT family next door sounds like the Emperor.
Imagine Palpatine shambling around in fuzzy pink slippers and saying, "You got five dollars? Anybody got five dollars? I need cigarettes and I DON'T have and FUCKING MONEY." That's her.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:20:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gears of War has been grinding me recently.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:20:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Supposed to be a +2.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God fucking damn that rating thingy.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Indeed
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls + automotive talk = hot.
See below.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-04 12:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Most hate them because they simply can't afford them."
Not true. I hate them because 99.9% are driven by people who think it's their god-given right to completely disregard the following:
1. The basic rules of the road.
2. The basic laws of physics (vehicle with more overall mass = increased stopping distance: stop riding that poor Civic's ass in the right lane and pass him)
3. Common courtesy
4. The painted lines on the road dividing the lanes
5. Road conditions (I point and laugh at the SUVs in the ditch because they truly believe 4WD makes them invincible and impervious to snow and ice)
6. The fact that it's a truck and should ride like one. They complain about the ride quality, the car companies listen and put softer suspensions in them that break every 20,000km (non-greasable ball joints???)that they then piss and moan about having to pay for.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, JMG, I have never left you....in spirit.....or your closet.....hehe. No, I have just been in school for the past couple of years and most of my creative energy has been demolished (except for the little bit that I have been hiding away and using for my band). I just haven't really written anything creative in awhile and most of my blogging I do on myspace.....(sorry Bart) but I check in here every so often.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
babelfish
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:24:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
SUVs. Shit. Every single one of them.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SUV's are a necessity these days since american children keep getting fatter. There's just no way you're gonna fit three of those chubbos in the backseat of a Civic.
But +2 for INFIDELSDIE69
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff JMG. I laughed like a little girl getting tickled by an army of elves.
---------------------------------
Ah, Streetpunk. Come back to us!
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff JMG. I laughed like a little girl getting tickled by an army of elves.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard that the Negroes who were verbally assaulted were considering SUING Richards.
Welcome to fucking America.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SUVs are just minivans for pussies who don't think minivans are cool.
Man up. Buy a fucking minivan.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SUVs. Shit. Every single one of them.
Unless you're a farmer. If you want to wear the stupid hat and the green sleaveless jacket - be my guest and get a Landie.
Otherwise - stop taking your kids to school in a childkilling monstrosity of a vehicle because it makes you feel like a big girl.
4x4s are the breast enlargement of the noughties.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:22:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What's all this blabbering about?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Most hate them because they simply can't afford them."
You're right. I hate nuclear weapons for the same reason.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate people who hate SUVs. Most hate them because they simply can't afford them. But you just said SUV commercials, so....
I don't watch Star Wars, or whatever that guy is from.
This seemed rather whiny, but I like the word apoplexy. Now I have to go look it up.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:04:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Babelfish sucks the root.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:52:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nigger, niggerniggernigger. Niggernig nignignignigger.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha "I meant raze"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-04 10:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good