Click here to return to the list of messages.

The Secret Uber Wars - pt 2 (1114 hits)

Category: None
Labels: UberAssemble

Rating: 1.92 on 64 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-12-04 15:08:28 EST

"This really isn't helping matters," sighed the demi-god Razor.

The King of Alters merely clenched his teeth in a snarl and continued pummeling the being before him with his fists.

"Method, this is very important. As I've explained, we need you to save the uberverse from Professor Bart-Bart's plan. I would think you would desire a measure of revenge, too."

"Oh, I do indeed, Razor," spoke Method as he stepped back and called forth a hundred alters. "This doesn't change the fact I want to kill you as well, you self-righteous fuck."

Razor lifted his head willingly to allow the hands of the shadowy beings to grasp at his throat as he said, "I'm a divine entity, Method. I don't breathe."

The alters dissipated, but the scowl on Method's face remained. He stormed down the hall, his fists clenched in a palatable rage. Razor watched with some little interest as the Super Villain slowly regained his composure, then strolled back with sly grin. The demi-god groaned inwardly, as he was positive the King of Alters had come up with some scheme.

"So," said Method pleasantly, "assassinate Bart and save the world. I can't communicate with any of the other 'guests' here, except for... heh, Rad. That about cover it?"

"Bart does have one guard, however. Two, actually," commented Razor.

"Irrelevant. There is no one I can not master," said Method dismissively.

"Ummm yes, perhaps you should know..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"It's fucking Bickerstaff!" exclaimed Rad.

"Well, and Istaros as well, of course," replied Firefly.

Rad rubbed his temples to work away the obvious upcoming headache.

"However, they have been summoned to keep the the forty players in battle, and force them down to one. While they might be present to protect Bart against those in his game, you and Method are outside anomalies. Razor and I believe they will not attempt to stop you."

"You believe..." sighed Rad.

"You yourself know how honorable the two are, Commander," added Firefly.

"Anything else I should be aware of?"

I don't believe so," said Firefly. "Now go, my friend. Save your world."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shlongy looked down at the gun in his hand again in wonder. It would seem he had got a slight upgrade in this stupid affair. He had taken some practice shots when he had appeared in the maze to test its abilities and he hadn't been disappointed. It was one of the cybernetic smart guns that his crime syndicate had been looking into right before he had been captured by the UberMen.

A self-charging clip of plasma energy was nice enough, but the gun itself had linked up to his DNA sequence and provided him with a number of added bonuses. His aim could be off as much as a few feet and the blast would redirect according to his thought patterns. Nothing too precise, but enough to count. Plus, it had been programed to only work for his unique genetic code.

As Shlongy was chuckling over his formidable weapon, he rounded a corner to see the speedster, Captain Thorns, examining something on the stone ceiling only yards away. The hero looked down in time to see a charge hit him square in the chest, knocking him back.

Shlongy ran up, blasting away at the hero, knowing that the Captain couldn't withstand the direct plasma energy for too long. Yet, before the crime boss could get a third shot in, Thorns had sped around and pulled the weapon from Shlongy's hand.

"I don't think you need this," said Captain Thorns.

"No!" screamed Shlongy. "Don't fire out all the rounds. I'll be defenseless!"

"While I won't be the one to kill you, at least you won't..." started Captain Thorns as he pull the trigger, the gun pointed straight up.

An explosive backfire rocked the hero into the wall, knocking him almost unconscious.

"Dipshit," laughed Shlongy as he retrieved his gun. "You're a little too fast and invulnerable for my tastes. I'll just leave you here."

Shlongy shot Captain Thorns in the head one last time just to fully knock him out before taking off down the hallway of the maze.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mockidol and Anansie continued firing at each other, each shot just barely missing its mark.

The Amazon Assassin had left her home in disgrace for being so petite, something that had left her with a vicious streak. Already a formidable warrior, her bionic implants allowed her to telekinetically affect the trajectory of an object already in motion. While bullets were usually too fast for her power, she was just waiting for the combat to get up close so she could unsheathe her blades.

Mocky was just pissed and hungover.

They chased each other through the complex, down hallways and around corners, taking shots when they could. A few bullets passed low through Mockidol's trench coat and some glanced off of the arm of Anansie's shoulder armor. Anansie spun close to the ground and launched a throwing dagger, unleashing her will to take it straight into Mockidol's leg. He didn't seem to notice as he fired a shot into her own calf.

"Fuck!" Anansie swore as she dove around a wall.

She pulled out a very small bottle and applied the liquid bandage. Anansie spun her hand gun, dropped the spent clip and reloaded. With one hand at her back ready to snag a blade, she side stepped the corridor...

... only to see Mockidol's body lying there, his head a mass of gore.

Before she could even register this scene in front of her, the Assassin of The Seas calmly walked out from behind the opposing wall.

"He was in my way," said Scourge politely.

"Too bad," commented Anansie.

"You do realize that I'm still quite upset with you, correct?" asked Scourge.

"That hit on Maltese was legit," said Anansie. "I just got there before you did."

"The young bird-man was my target."

"Hey, all's fair in love, war and contract killing," smiled Anansie.

Scourge sighed. "You do understand I'm going to murder you now?"

"Bring it," grinned the former Amazon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My Tee One tried to stand his ground, his hand to his abdomen where the giant green creature had slashed at him. He took a swing with his free hand, but his sense of balance was off. He fell to the left, where the monster brought a hard elbow down on his spine. My Tee One heard the cracking before he felt the pain. Even as he was falling, his cape was grabbed in a giant paw, and he was hurled back against the wall.

The force was like a bomb, and his ruptured stomach spilled open. As his now useless legs collapsed beneath him, he slid to sit in a growing pile of his own innards. His body shaking, he brought his head up to look at the monstrosity that had defeated him, only to see it transforming into a attractive young woman.

"Who..." muttered My Tee One feebly.

"Nothing personal, dude," said Coley as she wandered down the hall, leaving a hero to die.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Really?" asked Merlina.

"Yeah, I found most of the druidic summoning spells to be pretty potent," said Inion De Trua.

"More so than the ones found in the seventh book of the Summerian texts?" asked Merlina in amazement.

"Too many words," replied Inion.

"Have you ever tried Assyrian?" asked Merlina as the two sorceresses strolled down the corridor.

"Fuck, on purpose? No, have you?"

Merlina laughed. "I found it quite ridiculous myself, too."

As the two women giggled, Sicosemen leapt around the corner and drew upon his power. His arms and fists grew massive, ready to pulverize the two magic-wielders. He reared back to crumple them, when Merlina tossed some sand in his face.

"Wha, what the hell!" exclaimed Sicosemen.

"Noivilbo, Yawa Og Won," sighed Merlina.

And with that, the villain was sucked into a tiny black hole.

"What were we talking about, dear?" asked Merlina.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Brdn Nkd fell back against the wall.

"Your alien physiology makes you somewhat immune to my attacks," said Stagger Lee as he strutted up towards Nkd. "However, soon I'll find the correct synapse in your brain and turn on all the pain sensors in your body. I wonder what color you'll bleed?"

Nkd screamed as Stagger felt deeper into his mind, searching his brain for the right pathways to ignite. He knew it wouldn't be long. One shot, however risky...

"I... I bleed..." stuttered Nkd.

"What was that, my little extraterrestrial?" asked Stagger Lee, leaning down.

"I bleed red," growled Brdn Nkd as he teleported only a few inches, his hand now out stretched.

The alien had only seconds to see his victory, his forearm imbedded all the way through Stagger Lee's skull. Then the psionic backlash hit, searing all of the functions in Nkd's brain to a crisp. He shook once, the collapsed, taking the body of Stagger with him, the villain's head still attached to the hero's arm.

And, indeed, it was red blood that trickled from Brdn Nkd's nose as he lay dead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Commander Rad rushed down the hallway and spun around the corner just in time to see the littlest ninja plunge her katana into the throat of the Hate Monger. Sphagnum blinked in his direction, but could say nothing as he fell, Ghola already wrenching the sword out and taking his head with it. Rad crept back behind the corner before his UberMan could see him, and took off back as he came.

As much as he would of loved to speak to his former comrade, he remembered what Firefly had told him. Had he seen the battle going differently, he would have been hard pressed not to interfere. As it was, Sphagnum's psionic ability to instill negative emotions didn't affect Ghola - she had been trained to withstand all mental attacks by her Order. That, coupled with her bladed skills, make her a terrifying opponent.

Rad realized he couldn't concern himself with his troops. He had to hope their powers and training would see them through, just as his would. He had a mission, one that the UberMen had no knowledge of, yet they still depended on him. He couldn't let them down. Rad raced down the hall and came to a fork. Without breaking stride, he took the one that was illuminated and kept running.

As Commander Rad disappeared down the corridor, the King of Alters stepped out of the shadows of the other hall. Method allowed a small smile to play on his lips for a moment. Then he gathered up his cloak before he followed the leader of the UberMen at a casual pace.

_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Professor Bart-Bart - Deity and creator of the Uberverse
Susie Derkins - Assistant to Bart and ability to psionically map information
Bickerstaff - The ultimate weapon of mankind
Istaros - Martial artist monk and speaker for Bickerstaff
___________________________________________

Razor - Demi-god with own agenda, brought back Method
Firefly - Demi-godess in union with Razor, brought back Rad
Commander Rad - Leader of the UberMen with enhanced senses
Method - KIng of alters who can call up shadow army
___________________________________________

01 - Tiger Lily - Nuclear fusion powered leg, energy manipulation
02 - Ghola - Petite ninja warrior, immune to psionics
03 - TTOM - Simian professor, enhanced intelligence, agility and strength
04 - Caulaincourt - Quebec Quartermaster, can mimic any fighting style
05 - McCallum - Mutant Brain powered cyborg, flight, energy manipulation, calculations
06 - Munkypants - Magical animal shape-shifter due to clothing from fairy kingdom
07 - Scourge - Assassin of the seas, morphing hook hand, sniper
08 - Forensic Girl - Scientific mercenary, analytical bionic arm
09 - Big Mike - Hero of the past, immense strength, limited flight
10 - Apollo - Pyrokenetic manipulation and flight
11 - Axolotl - Super boy genius, marksman, limited invulnerability
12 - Brdn Nkd - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
13 - Sacrilicious - Ninja trained with power to psionically induce plague
14 - ETS - Survivalist with ability to create panic and paranoia
15 - Strwbry Fanatic - Scientist with psionic control over vegetation
16 - Orgasmatron - Robot war machine, scaled down to humanoid size
17 - Crystle - Empathic sensitive, emotion control
18 - Average Dan - Ability to change his body into other substances
19 - Merlina - Occult sorceress with various spell casting powers
20 - Lisa - Princess of Cuntslavia, mind control
21 - Sicosemen - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
22 - Shlongy - Crime lord, now with cybernetic gun
23 - Indoninja - USA security agent, trained in martial arts
24 - Darko - Avatar of death, ability to weaken souls
25 - Stagger Lee - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
26 - Snark - Alien with ability to turn bio-electric energy into physical matter
27 - JMG - Hybrid deity with strength, flight and limited invulnerability
28 - Inion De Trua - Celtic sorceress with summoning abilities
29 - Habeeb - Psychotic with mutated physiology, can appear as others for short time
30 - The Cyst Master - Damaged advanced psionic enhancements
31 - Hadley - Genetically created super human, with psionic blocks and invulnerability
32 - Hourman - Has ability to see one minute into future at all times
33 - Mockidol - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
34 - Sphagnum - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
35 - Captain Thorns - Super speed, flight, strength and limited invulnerability
36 - My Tee One - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
37 - Coley - Magical ability to transform into giant Orc
38 - Anansie - Trained warrior with slight projectile telekinetic
39 - Davros - Multi-applicable telepath, astral projection
40 - Johnny X - Can steal other's powers in close proximity

SIX DEAD, WHO WILL SURVIVE THE NEXT CHAPTER???

User Reviews

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-16 22:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-12-07 08:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-06 20:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Wait, this can't be over, did you randomly draw straws? Here's the deal, I can come back because as of now I'm in another dimension. I got red head nudy pics...

Good show.

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

at least I didn't die first...

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Sorry, Thorns...I thought you knew better than to fuck with Shlongy.

That goes for ALL of you.

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

*lish-gasm*

Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Amazing stuff Kaos, I can't wait for the rest of it.

Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I survived an episode, w00t.

-Dave

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-05 02:21:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

THERE IS NO PAIN YTOU ARE RECEDING

A DISTQANT SHIP SOMETHING ON THE HORIZON

YOU ARE ONLY COMING THROUGH IN WAVES

YOUR LIPS MOVE BUT i CANT HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-05 00:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-05 00:01:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

*coley-gasms*
===========
SWEEET
you have no idea how badly I needed that.
thanks, O-tron!
:D

*hoses off*

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-05 00:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

*coley-gasms*

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-04 23:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:02:00 (#)
Ranking: 2

Orgasmanansilicious-orgasm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:40:35 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:25:52 (#)
Ranking: 2

*uber-orgasm*

---

*orgasma-orgasm*
===============
Did I miss the orgasm truck?

:'(

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 23:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:14:47 (#)
Ranking: 2

Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:25:52 (#)
Ranking: 2

*uber-orgasm*

---

*orgasma-orgasm*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ya Loverboy. You wanna piece? Jump in I love ya.

---

Who am I to turn down some Usual Suspects love?

Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker.

Hand ME the keys, you fucking cocksucker.

HandmethekeysyoufuckincocksuckerOHWHATTHEFUCK?

GIMME THE KEYS YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER BLEARARAAURUAGUGAHAGHGH!

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-04 23:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:52:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Nicely done.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:25:52 (#)
Ranking: 2

*uber-orgasm*

---

*orgasma-orgasm*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ya Loverboy. You wanna piece? Jump in I love ya.

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:01:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Yesh!

Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-12-04 20:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

"He reared back to crumple them,"

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-04 19:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-04 19:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Nogasm

Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Good writing by the way.

Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I've been gone for a week or so and this was the first post I opened, only to discover I die... by COLEY!

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-04 18:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Orgasmanansilicious-orgasm

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

So sorry, MyTee...nothing personal, nothing personal at all...

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:25:52 (#)
Ranking: 2

*uber-orgasm*

---

*orgasma-orgasm*

Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Excellent. Keep it up!

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:40:05 (#)
Ranking: 2

*weeps for forgiveness*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:39:31 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm so sorry

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:39:16 (#)
Ranking: 2

OH HOLY CRAP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:32:17 (#)
Ranking: -2

"Noivilbo, Yawa Og Won," sighed Merlina.

HAHAHA

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't wanna fight scourge. I like him too much. Plus, there's that whole "he'll probably kill me" thing.

Ah fuck it. Bring it, cabin boy.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:25:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

*uber-orgasm*

Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-04 17:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

heh - very good.

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

cool stuff, I appreciate not being killed off at the beginning...

Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Aw, "I" already rated this.

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

IM A VERY NICE BOY, I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'VE PAINTED ME AS A SUPER VILLAIN, I'M VERY OFFENDED

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

"That hit on Maltese was legit,

People need to stop encouraging him to spend so much time here

I'll rate the post when I finish.

Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Even if I'm not mentioned, I still like it.

Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Kill me good or I'll fuck you off.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:12:01 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:59:46 (#)
Ranking: 2

Thank God I survived Part 2. It'd be awfully embarrassing to have to explain to St. Peter that I died at the hands of Herbert J. Shlongy.
___

This can be arranged. http://www.ubersite.com/m/95717
==================

Hahahaha, be my guest, AF!

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i always told mocki that i could kick his ass.

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

In your FACE, Sicosemen.

HAHAHA

Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:59:46 (#)
Ranking: 2

Thank God I survived Part 2. It'd be awfully embarrassing to have to explain to St. Peter that I died at the hands of Herbert J. Shlongy.
___

This can be arranged. http://www.ubersite.com/m/95717

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

YES!

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i'm going to +2 this before i even read it. i was waiting on this.

Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-04 16:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I can make beer dissapear. Is that a good power?

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Thank God I survived Part 2. It'd be awfully embarrassing to have to explain to St. Peter that I died at the hands of Herbert J. Shlongy.

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

comment

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

DEAD MOTHERFUCKER?! WHAT THE HELL MAN? I'M AN ALIEN? STAGGER'S FEEBLE POWERS ARE NOTHING!! NOTHING I TELL YOU!

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

and another...

(it shows how used to -2 ing I am at the moment..)

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

*weeps for forgiveness*

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm so sorry

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

OH HOLY CRAP

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Merlina gave a -2.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

I'm telling mom.

Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

WOO! This stuff is friggin terrific.

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

"Noivilbo, Yawa Og Won," sighed Merlina.

Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

It works on any Ayatollah! Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi ... Even
as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating
their power!

-- Homer Simpson
Two Bad Neighbors

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Never interrupt two women while they're chatting.

Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

YOU ARE GAY GET THE FUCK OUT

Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

"That hit on Maltese was legit," said Anansie. "I just got there before you did."

====

MY NAME WAS MENTIONED!!!1! AHGWOUEGONWEGNOWEUKJFBCNCIJEKHCIBO#QUBYCRNIWEK JCBHF*IUK#QJCHU#IK!!! *ejaculates*

Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Quick, spend the rest of today and all of tomorrow morning writing part 3!

I need to know what happens!

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

BEAST, CURSE YOU! BEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!