The Hate Game (1632 hits)
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Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-12-05 10:11:18 EST
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Entry 1
Broad-shouldered state assemblyman Daniel Carson yelled over the two young boys in the back seat of his Lexus, "Knock it off or no Playstation 3 for Christmas!"The children, his sons Joey and Aiden, fell silent at once.
In the passenger seat, Daniel's redheaded wife Penny muttered, "Don't threaten them. Remember Dr. Wilson."
Daniel gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter, recalling Penny's obsession with the Dr. Julius Wilson book set on how to raise constructive children. How was Daniel raised? That's right. A belt to the back while bent over a chair. That's how his father, George Carson, ran the show.
Daniel was driving to see his father at that very moment.
**************************************
Sonia Carson helped Phil Dwyer, her fiancée, pack a large red duffel bag into the back of her sedan. After pushing it in and closing the rear passenger door, Phil turned to Sonia.
"You know, I won't take it personally if you don't want me there. I understand that now's a time when you'd probably want to be just around your family and I don't want to interfere with anything."
Sonia shook her head. "Oh sweetie, you're part of my family, now. I want you there and I want you to meet my parents. It's really important to me that Dad gets to meet you."
Phil looked down at his feet as he always did when Sonia complimented him.
"Besides," she continued, smiling with a trace of something sinister, "We bought two airline tickets. No sense in wasting one now, is there?"
Phil looked up at Sonia and shook his head. Why was she smiling like that?
**************************************
Victor Carson, the youngest of the three siblings, drummed his fingers on the slight ledge created by the city bus's window-side air vent. His other hand idly rubbed his face, which he hadn't shaved in days.
"I'd kill for a cigarette," he thought.
Glancing to his left, he read over the shoulder of the older woman who sat next to him, the one Victor had mentally labeled, "Seventh grade social studies teacher." She was reading Thomas Pynchon's Mason & Dixon.
Victor started whistling, "Dixie," remembering how he was the first child in his kindergarten class to learn how to whistle. He thought of the late summer afternoon when his father George had taught him how to do it.
The woman next to Victor frowned a little.
**************************************
George Carson sat in his wheelchair on the back deck of his home, a former farm near Brattleboro, Vermont. The gray hairs that fluttered across his face made him smile, reminding him of a younger face he had seen in a mirror long ago.
The screen door behind him opened and his wife, Willa, carried out a small metal tray with tea. She carefully brought it to her husband's side and bent down. He looked up at her, still smiling.
"Green?" he asked.
"Earl Gray," she replied.
"Good. Thank you."
He took the tea with a shaking hand and lowered the cup to his lap. He settled back in his chair and groaned, a fresh pain thundering through his leg and up to his groin. Willa bit her lower lip.
"Can I get you something?" she asked.
With a touch of mischief, George said, "A French whore."
Willa lightly rapped George's shoulder and she laughed the laugh of a wife whose husband was very likely to die within days, if not hours.
She ran her hand through his hair and said, "Aside from that, can I get you your painkillers?"
"No. They knock me out. I want to be awake when the kids get here."
**************************************
Daniel and his family arrived first. George had two chocolate lollipops on hand for his grandchildren and he held them out for them to take as he sat on the deck.
"Grandpa!" Joey and Aiden ran for the wheelchair-bound George but Daniel pulled them back sharply.
"Your grandpa's in a wheelchair and he's in a lot of pain! You don't go jumping on someone like that!"
Penny sidestepped her husband and bent down to kiss her father-in-law. "How are you feeling, George?"
George dropped the lollipops to his lap, gave Daniel a momentary angry glance, and then smiled at Penny. "Hello my darling. I'm doing just fine. Feeling a lot better today," he lied.
Daniel let the kids go. They grabbed the lollipops out of George's lap and hugged him. George looked up at his eldest son, and Daniel put his hand on his father's shoulder, perhaps a bit too roughly.
"How's it going, Dad? We're glad we're here."
"Me too, Danny. Come on in and get unpacked. We have the big guest room set up for you and a separate room for the boys."
Headlights illuminated the group in the twilight. It was a taxi, and Victor stepped out of it.
"Hey Pop!" Victor jogged over to the group and hugged his father.
"Oh, Vic . . ." the patriarch hugged Victor tightly. "I'm so glad you came."
"Wouldn't miss it," Victor said, then stood up and faced Daniel. "Hey bro. You're looking good."
Daniel nodded and shook his younger brother's hand. Penny kissed Victor on the cheek, and the two kids each wrapped their arms around Victor's legs.
"Give us a ride, Uncle Victor!"
"Kids," Daniel said, "Give Uncle Victor a break." At the same time, Daniel mentally added, "Because Victor's been on break his entire life."
Nervously, Victor asked, "Who else is here?"
Daniel said, "Sonia and Phil are coming in about an hour."
Victor asked, "Where's Ma?"
George said, "Inside, cooking—"
Willa opened the door and stepped out onto the patio. "Here I am! Oh! Look at how big you two are!"
Joey and Aiden ran to Willa.
The air had chilled and the family was inside the house when Sonia and Phil arrived from the airport an hour and a half later. Daniel had sent a town car to pick them up.
"Mom! Dad!" Sonia dropped her bag upon entering the house and hugged her mother tightly. She then followed suit with her father.
"How's my angel?" he asked.
"Oh Dad," Sonia said loudly, "How are you? Have you been eating enough? Oh my God! Everyone," she grabbed Phil's hand and pulled him into the middle of the living room. "Meet Phil Dwyer! Phil Dwyer, meet everyone!"
Willa hugged her future son-in-law and Phil shook hands all around. One person was absent from the living room since Sonia had arrived. It was Victor, who was masturbating in the upstairs bathroom as he listened to Phil's voice through the closed door.
When he finished, he ran the faucet, checked himself in the mirror, and walked downstairs. Sonia turned her head to see her little brother. The big smile on her face dimmed slightly. "Hi Victor," she began.
"Hey Sonia." He hugged her and greeted Phil.
"Dinnertime!" Willa announced, "I hope everyone likes broccoli and Brussels sprouts!"
Joey and Aiden grimaced and Willa smiled. "I'm only teasing. We're having chicken and beans!"
Joey and Aiden cheered, then started fighting over who was going to sit next to Victor.
**************************************
After dinner, most of the family returned to the living room. Penny gave the kids their portable video games to play in the sun room, and George sat alone with Daniel in the den.
"Well, this is it," George said finally, after several moments of silence in the dimly lit, wood-paneled room.
Daniel blinked. "This is what, Dad?"
"Don't play me, Danny. I know you've had a lot on your chest for years and years and years. I'll be lucky to last the night, so anything you've got to say to me, just go on and say it."
"Dad, are you trying to pick a fight—"
George slammed his hands on the wheelchair's armrests and Daniel jumped in surprise. "Damn it, Danny! I'm your only father, and I'm going to die! I'm going to die. I don't want to have bad blood between us before I go. I really mean it."
Daniel frowned and his eyes felt hot.
George coughed, cleared his throat, and lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Danny. I'm sorry for everything. I wanted a good relationship with my oldest son, and I know I ruined it. I don't want you to have so much anger after I'm gone. Anything you're feeling, I know I deserve. Just tell me so I can put things to rights. Tell me. Tell your dad."
Daniel blinked, desperately inviting anger to drown out any tears. Keeping a stiff upper lip when his father was concerned had become as natural as breathing. The scar on the small of his back throbbed slightly.
**************************************
"So Sonia," Willa asked, "How's business?"
Sonia crossed her legs and inched closer to Phil on the couch. "Well, I'm about to open a second Kali's Salon in Briarton. It's really exciting to actually start a chain store. I think I could be on to something really big."
"That's wonderful, dear! Now are you involved in the business on a daily basis or do you have manicurists and stylists who do all the work?"
"Ha! I'm in there full time! That place would fall apart without me. Even the smartest hairdressers I have couldn't cut their way out of a paper bag!"
Willa widened her eyes. "Oh dear! And how's work for you, Phil?"
Phil glanced at Victor, who had been alternately drinking cupfuls of wine and staring coldly in his direction since dinner. Phil said, "I'm between jobs right now. I do software programming."
Willa said, "Oh! Sounds technical. I'm probably the least technical person you'll ever meet, so you'll have to forgive my ignorance if I ask you too many questions about what you do."
Phil smiled and shook his head. "It's okay. I'm not doing too much at the moment, but I'll certainly be able to provide for your daughter."
"You sure it won't be the opposite?" Victor asked, downing another glass of wine. Everyone stared at him but he waved his words away. "I was just kidding. I'm sure you'll both provide for each other equally. For richer and poorer and all that."
Phil stood up and beckoned to Victor. "Hey, can I talk to you? Just out in the hall?"
Willa and Penny looked at Sonia who looked at Phil.
"Honey-—" Sonia began.
"Just for a minute," Phil said, staring at Victor.
Victor stood up shakily and nodded. "Sure, bro. Bro-in-law. In-bro. I'm all yours." He followed Phil to the hall.
Once there, Phil asked, "Is there a problem, friend?"
"Huh?"
"If there's a problem, then I want you to be straight with me. You've been staring daggers at me all night and I want to know what the problem is."
Victor blinked, then started laughing. He put his hand on Phil's shoulder. "Oh, man. I wasn't staring at you. I was staring at Sonia. Christ, man. I don't give a fuck about you. You're all right."
In the living room, Willa was talking to Penny. Sonia sat silently, her leg slightly shaking. Willa asked, "What are you up to, dear?"
Penny said, "Well, raising the kids, going to the gym, doing some volunteer work . . .a lot, really."
"Volunteer work? Oh, how nice. Where are you volunteering?"
"I'm running some clothing drives for the hungry."
Willa beamed. "Oh, that's so wonderful! And just in time for Christmas!"
Penny sipped from her wine glass. "It's fun enough. When I'm not there I'm usually out with Joey and Aiden at The Gap getting them some new shirt that everyone's wearing or a new video game that they just have to have . . .you know how it is, raising kids."
Willa nodded. "I certainly do."
Penny stood up. "Excuse me for a moment. I'm going to go check on the boys."
**************************************
George said, "I thought I was toughening you up. That's what my father did to me and my brothers."
"But you never did it to Sonia or Victor!" Daniel said, "I was the only one you came home to beat! It's fucked, Dad, and you fucked me up! Do you have any idea what that's done to my life?"
George sighed. "Danny, you have to move past this. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can do for you. I'll be dead in a little bit. Will that be enough?"
"It's shaped my entire life, Dad, like you were a fucking sculptor and now I've come out like this. I hate myself when I yell at my kids! Do you understand me? I hate it when I get so mad that I want to hit them! You know why? Because it reminds me of you! Swinging your fists about, like a fucking big man!"
Daniel stared swinging his arms around.
"Swing, swing, swing, swing at the little kid who looked up to you and only wanted his fucking father to act like a man instead of a piece of shit that beats his own flesh and blood to feel better about himself!"
George leaned back. "Danny, watch—"
Daniel came too close and connected one of his swings to George's face and George cried out, "Oh dear God!" as he crumpled down in his wheelchair.
Daniel stepped back, turning pale. A strange tingle spread down his neck. He looked at his hand, then up at his softly sobbing father. He thought about leaving the room.
He said, "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry that I'm no better than you."
George controlled his breathing. He remembered a time just before Sonia was born when a little boy in overalls came running out of the house.
"Dad! Dad!" the boy had said, "Mom said her water broke!"
George had paused perhaps a bit too long before springing into action, in wonderment of one child heralding the birth of another.
From his wheelchair, he choked out, "I love you, Danny."
"I know. I'd don't want you to die, Dad."
For the first time in decades, Daniel bent down and hugged his father.
**************************************
Joey looked up from his portable video game system and turned to Aiden, who was playing his on his own handheld.
"Hey Aiden."
"What?"
"Is Daddy gay?"
"I don't know," Aiden said, "What does gay mean?"
"I don't know either. Kyle told me yesterday that his mom said that Dad was gay."
Aiden said, "I don't know. How far are you in Star Wars?"
Joey wiped his nose. "I'm up to level two."
Aiden said, "I'm up to level three."
"I mean, level three! I'm up to level three, too!"
From where she stood at the threshold of the sun room, Penny turned and walked away.
**************************************
Sonia, barely able to walk in a straight line, pushed the videotape into the VCR and hit play. "Oh my God," she said, stumbling back to the couch, "The Goonies is like the coolest movie ever!"
Victor laughed, nearly spilling the beer from the bottle in his hand. "Holy shit Sonia, you are so fucking wasted."
She flopped back onto the couch. "I know!" she laughed, "It's been way too long since I've cut loose."
"Lucky you," Victor mused, "Hanging out on a Saturday night in an empty house with your little brother."
Sonia rolled her eyes. "You're not little. You're fifteen!"
"Sixteen."
"See? Not little!"
Sonia sang, "Not little," over and over in a squeaky voice until Victor turned the volume up on the movie.
Sonia glared. "Oh, I see how it is."
Victor smiled in reply.
A minute later, Sonia asked, "So, do you drink a lot?"
Victor said, "Hell yes. I swipe stuff from Mom and Dad's cabinet. There's stuff in there since their wedding!"
"Eew!" Sonia frowned.
Victor paused. "Isn't wine supposed to get better the older it is?"
Sonia shook her head. "Not if it's as old as Mom and Dad's wedding!" She laughed. "You drink a lot?"
"You just asked me that."
Sonia giggled. "I know! Everyone should just be drunk all the time! Without any of the, you know, liver-killing side effects. People just say what's on their mind and relax more. Seriously."
"You got that right," Victor agreed, swigging more beer.
Sonia watched her younger brother and asked, "So, how's high school?"
"It's okay. My best subject is math, and wouldn't you know it, that doesn't make me popular."
"For real? I suck at math, but it was always my favorite subject."
"Really?"
"Yeah. How are the girls treating you? You must have an army of admirers."
"Yeah right. They're more into themselves than anything. Maybe they're all lesbians." He took another drink.
"Ooh. That's not such a bad thing for guys, is it?" Sonia tilted her head.
Victor looked at Sonia. "They don't tape themselves in the shower for us, so I wouldn't know."
"Well, you have kissed a girl, haven't you?"
Victor rolled his eyes and turned back to the television.
Sonia asked, "Haven't you?" again.
Victor put his arm up on the back of the couch and turned to Sonia with a slight smile. "As if it's any of your business."
"Oh my God, you haven't! You've never kissed a girl!"
Victor groaned and turned back to the movie.
"Do you want to?"
Victor turned to Sonia, who was sitting closer than he remembered. He said, "Um . . .what?"
Sonia clasped Victor's hand in her own. Her breath smelled like alcohol and Victor couldn't help but inhale deeply. She said, "Vic, you're like my best friend. It won't be weird if I teach you how to kiss."
Victor tried to yank his hand away but Sonia held it fast. "Just relax," she began.
"What—? No! Sonia, I—"
"It's okay! We're not having sex or anything! It's just a kiss! Let me teach you how so that when it's your first time, you'll know what to do. Come on! Just forget that—"
"You're my sister! That's fucking fucked!" Victor tried to pull away again, only with less zeal than his prior attempt. Sonia's leg was pressing up against his own. Her breath tickled the little hairs above his lip. Her full lips, wide brown eyes, and long lashes seemed different than he had remembered . . .they seemed . . .
"Just . . .one . . .kiss . . ." Sonia leaned in, and Victor, unsure whether it was instinct, the booze, or the desire to not disappoint Sonia, opened his mouth and allowed her to kiss him for a moment.
He pulled away. "Okay, now that's—"
"Ugh!" Sonia wiped her mouth, "That's all wrong! You have to let me show you how to do it right!"
"Sonia, I—"
"Shh," she put her finger to his lips. "You have to trust me. Do you trust me, Victor?"
Of course he did.
**************************************
Sonia sat next to Victor, who had been sitting alone, smoking on the front porch. She idly swirled the wine in her glass and waited for him to say something. He didn't, so she began, "You lived the closest, but you probably visited them the least after you left home."
Victor didn't reply. He looked down at his feet.
Sonia said, "Victor, I want to put the past behind us."
Victor said nothing.
"Victor, please don't do this. I know we haven't talked about it since it happened, but we haven't really talked at all about anything since it happened, and that's not the life I wanted to have with my little brother."
"Oh no?" Victor asked, trying hard to sound coherent, "What was the life you wanted, Sonia? Do you—" He stopped himself.
"Do I what? Please talk to me."
Victor swallowed, stared into the sky, and spoke slowly. "Sonia, despite what happened, I still love you as my sister and I'm fine keeping things the way they are. I don't want to open anything up, especially tonight, and I don't want to say anything that I'm going to regret."
Sonia looked down, realizing that she had to fence carefully. "I don't want to never see you again. I want to talk about it," she said.
Victor tossed his cigarette away, stood up, and said, "I don't," and returned to the house.
He walked into the empty living room and Sonia followed close behind him.
"Victor, please—"
Victor, giving in, turned around and said, "God damn it, Sonia! Do you know that I've been fucking avoiding them for years because every time I come here, it's the only thing I think about? I see it when I wake up every morning! I see it when I shut my eyes every night! Every relationship I've ever had fucking goes up in smoke because that's how much it fucked me over!"
Sonia frowned, her eyes watering, feeling a sickening sensation in her stomach. "Victor—"
Phil walked in. "Hey, now what's—"
Victor silenced Phil with a stare, then smiled. "Now that the gang's all here, you might as well tell him," Victor said, "Tell your precious fucking Phil Dwyer what you did to me! You're so anxious to talk about it and get it out in the open!"
Phil didn't look to Sonia for an explanation, instead opting to advance on Victor. "If you talk to her that way one more—"
"Shut your nasal voice, you fuck!"
Phil swung a right hook and it caught Victor's face just to the left of his nose. Victor cried out and stumbled backward. Phil grabbed Sonia's hand and began to pull her out of the room. "Let's go, honey . . ."
Before they had reached the door, Victor yelled, "She fucked me! Your precious fucking fiancée fucked her little brother! Right in this room!"
Phil dropped Sonia's hand and advanced on Victor again. This time when he swung, Victor caught his fist firmly and twisted it outward.
"Aagh!" Phil cried out.
"If you ever put a hand on me again," Victor said, "I will murder you."
Sonia started crying.
Phil struggled to wrench his hand away. Victor continued, "I swear to God and sweet baby Jesus that I would rather go to prison and rot than let you lay a finger on me one more god damn time!"
Victor shoved Phil away and Phil fell backward. Victor stepped over him and left the room, walking past Sonia without looking at her. Sonia, bawling, leaned back against the wall and sank to the floor.
Phil pulled himself up and bent down to Sonia. He kissed her forehead and wiped her tears away.
"Oh, sweetie . . .what the hell was he thinking? Making up those horrible lies . . ."
Sonia sobbed and buried her face in her hands.
"They were lies, weren't they?"
**************************************
Penny climbed into the guest bed with Daniel.
"The kids asleep?" he asked.
"If by asleep you mean pretending to be tired and pulling out their Nintendos the instant I left the room, then yes."
Daniel chuckled. "Well, at least they're happy. It's good to be back home."
"Good. I'm glad," Penny said. "I'm going to turn the lights out. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, hun. I'm ready for bed."
Penny turned off the lights. A minute later, she asked the question she was waiting all day to ask.
"What are we going to do?"
Daniel didn't answer for several moments. "We'll weather it. For the kids—"
"I can't do that."
Again, Daniel paused before his reply. "Well, I mean, you said before that you'd work things out with me and no matter what happened, we'd stay together. We're a team and—"
"Daniel, I've given it a lot of thought, and I think it would be better if we just cut our losses and moved on with our lives."
"I—"
"I don't want anything messy. We have the prenup and we'll just end things quick and easy. That's best for the kids and best for us. I can take them off to my parents' in Fort Lauderdale where they won't even be touched by this—"
"Penny, they're my kids as much as yours, and if you think that this is just your decision to make—"
"You already made your decision!" Penny snapped, "You're a state assemblyman who paid a male prostitute to let you give him a fucking handjob! Across the street from a police station! On Monday, the media's going to get the story and your career, my life, the kids—it'll all be over! Everything! It's already leaked out, for God's sake! I heard the kids talking about it tonight."
"What did they say?"
"What does it matter? If you love them and if you respect me, then you'll let me take them to Florida. You can visit us when this has all blown over and—"
"Out of the question. I may have made a mistake but I'm still their god damn father."
"You can say whatever you want, but if this goes to court, you'll be lucky to ever see them again for the rest of your life and you know it."
Daniel was silent for a long time. Finally, he said, "I'm sorry, Penny. I'm sorry for everything. Let's come up with a compromise and work things out. I know we can do it."
Penny was asleep.
**************************************
Willa put her arm around George in bed. She started crying softly. George gently stroked his wife's hair.
"Now, now . . .don't be sad."
"I don't want you to go!" she choked, "It's too soon! It's too soon! Maybe the doctors were wrong and—"
"Honey, it's over. We can't—we can't."
Horrified, Willa said, "George, you can go to sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow! This could be it!"
George blinked thoughtfully in the darkness. "Then let's stay up and talk for a while. Would you like that?"
Willa nodded and held him tighter.
George began, "Do you remember Christmas 1975? The tree caught on fire?"
Willa laughed through her tears. "It was such a little fire but you had everyone leave the house and when Sonia cried for the cat you went back in and grabbed it for her even though you had no idea where it was hiding."
"She was a nice cat," George smiled, followed by a violent fit of coughing.
Willa asked, "Honey, are you—"
"I'm fine," George said, "I'm okay."
They were silent for a long time. Willa asked, "George?"
"Yeah?"
"How was it? Your life? Did it turn out well?"
George remembered growing up on a dairy farm in Minnesota, the early death of his sister, moving east for a factory job, meeting Willa at a ski resort, starting his own appliance repair business, having Daniel, Sonia, and Victor, retiring early, becoming sick . . .
He wondered if he was cheating death by flashing through his life before the final moment. He had always pictured death as a thick, velvety blanket that kept you warm but very, very dark.
He was about to answer, "Yes," when he heard someone coughing. It sounded like him, but he didn't feel himself coughing.
He saw Willa at the ski resort.
**************************************
Victor was the first one to run into the room.
"Oh God!" Willa cried, "I can't wake your father up!"
Victor leaned over his father's body and jostled him slightly by the shoulders. "Dad . . ."
He turned to his mother. "Call 911! Hurry!"
Willa picked up the phone and entered the number, her finger shaking violently.
George's eyes fluttered open.
"Dad! Oh my God! Dad! Can you hear me? Dad? George Carson? Can you hear me? George Carson?"
George narrowed his eyes as if trying to identify his son.
"Can you hear me?" Victor repeated, "George Carson! Can you hear me?"
George's lips moved but no words came out. Daniel came into the room and ran to his father's side. "Watch out," he gave Victor a push, "I know CPR."
Victor stepped back as Daniel administered CPR on his father. Sonia haltingly walked into the room moments later. Her eyes were red, her face was pale, and her head shook. She slumped against the doorframe.
Willa yelled into the phone, "Yes, my husband isn't waking up!"
"He isn't breathing," Daniel said.
"Oh God . . ." Sonia muttered, then sank down and vomited onto the floor.
"Come on, Dad," Daniel said and continued administering CPR.
"Yes," Willa said, "We're at 100 Claymore Lane in—okay. Please hurry!"
She hung up the phone, ran to Sonia's side, put her arm around her daughter, and helped her to her feet.
Daniel continued administering CPR. George had not moved or blinked in minutes.
"Dan," Victor said.
Daniel didn't answer.
"Dan," Victor haltingly repeated. "Dad's gone, Dan."
"Come on, damn it!" Daniel pounded on his father's chest. "Come on! Come on!"
Victor's voice cracked. "Dan, Dad's dead. Stop."
"Dad, come on . . ."
"Dan, that only works in movies. Dad's not coming back. He's gone."
Willa released Sonia and seemed to float to her husband's side. Daniel stepped back. With the back of her right hand, Willa caressed George's face, kissed him, and started to cry. Daniel took her in his arms. An ambulance siren blared in the distance.
Daniel, silently glad that his father had died before news of the forthcoming scandal broke, held his mother tightly. Sonia threw up again, her head pounding, hoping to faint. Victor bowed his head, wishing that Sonia wasn't there. He wondered where Phil was.
**************************************
"Where's Phil?" Victor asked at breakfast in the kitchen, as pleasantly as can be.
Sonia, huddled under a crimson crocheted quit, barely looked up from her oatmeal. "He had to leave."
"Ah," Victor replied, satisfied.
Next to him, Willa sat looking through an old photo album. She said nothing.
Daniel walked into the kitchen and sat down. He said, "Well, all the arrangements are made. Foundation Funeral Home, this coming Thursday. I called your friend Marie and she said she'd call everyone else."
"Thank you," Willa quietly replied, not looking up.
Victor asked, "Hey Dan, can I make you something? Oatmeal? Turkey sandwich?"
Daniel said, "Turkey sounds great. Thanks."
"Thank you," Victor continued, "For taking care of this for Mom. I wouldn't have any idea what to do. I mean it. Thanks."
"No problem."
Victor walked to the kitchen counter and made Daniel's sandwich.
**************************************
"Well Christ, if this isn't Hell on Earth," Willa imagined George telling her as she sat in the living room, a photo album on her lap and her family sitting silently around her. Bleeps and beeps from Joey and Aiden's video games occasionally punctuated the quiet.
"It's like you're all alone," George continued.
Willa looked up from the photo album. "Do you all remember Christmas 1975?"
Victor laughed. "I'll never forget Christmas '75. That was the year you and Dad got me the yellow tricycle with the tassels."
Daniel smiled. "That was Dad's last time dressing up like Santa."
"You baked those French pastries," Sonia recalled, "God, those were good."
"What say I bake some more right now?" Willa asked, "It'll do me good. I have a whole pantry of ingredients."
Daniel said, "You don't have to do that, Mom. You should probably just sit and relax—"
Willa stood up. "I want to. Keep talking. I'll be back."
"We'll come with you," Victor said, and the family followed Willa to the kitchen.
"Oh my God!" Victor said, turning to Daniel, "Do you remember me asking you if I could play with your Scooby Doo playset and you telling me no and then you never played with it?"
"Yeah!" Daniel laughed, "Whatever happened to that thing?"
Victor said, "It ended up in my room, where I played with it for a half-hour before Sonia came in and broke it."
"What?" Sonia asked, "I did no such thing!"
Willa mixed the flour, sugar, and eggs together as her children reminisced. She hadn't seen them talking together in such a manner for years. Were they doing it for her? Were they actually enjoying themselves?
She had a feeling that the Thursday funeral would be the second-to-last time they'd all be together in the same room. The last time, of course, would be her own memorial service.
Willa felt George close by.
She couldn't help but smile.
- VS -
Entry 2
I've been playing the hate game with myself for, I don't know, six years now? Sounds about right.It's relatively simple - I hate myself, I lash out at myself in some way, I hate myself more. Self destruction is an easy cycle to fall into, and then... well, the only way is down.
I've done the stereotypical things - cutting myself, trying to overdose, ropes around my neck that never quite got tight enough.
But there have been less dramatic demonstrations as well; treating my friends like crap, so they stay away when I need them most.
Staring at the blank page that needs to turn into a report so I can stay on my course, and opening a game of solitaire instead.
Stupid risks that will one day fuck me over, but I keep taking them because nothing's happened to me yet.
Binges until I feel like I'm falling apart physically as well as mentally.
I have weeks, months sometimes, when I'm normal, and I fight, fight so damn hard to pull myself together, pull myself away from the edge. And, occasionally, I'm blessed with really good luck; my boyfriend, the friends who've stuck with me through all the histrionics. But I gradually start slipping back again, undoing all my hard work with no effort at all. I just fall back into the same dank pit, and lose a little more ground on the way. Even when I find a way out again, there's the sense of disgust at my weakness, and the seed is planted for the next fall even as I climb.
Asking for help is out of the question - that might actually break the cycle, set me free from my self imposed misery. And I think there's a part of me that believes I deserve all this. There's a part of me, buried deep inside where I can't get at it to change it, that truly hates myself, and punishes me for existing.
So I keep playing the same, twisted game. Only problem is, I'm beginning to run out of moves.
Entry 1:
Anansie
august_sobriquet
Axolotl
bob
Bubba2341
CaptainThorns
charminglybeef
combatwombat
Crystle
Doodles
drgoatcabin
DrogoRoch
DudeThatsBOSH
FunnyAsCancer
ghola
GodChicken
Hiredugan
Hirilnara
horse87
HotWillie
hour_man
Ingsoc
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
JoeyG
justagirl27
maiorano84
mikethescottish
mr-bee
Natsukau
nrduncan
orph
ParlorTrick
peckerhead
Pentameter
PMN
richsghostdog
ripple
ScarfaceMN
sicosemen
Slighty_Obnoxious
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
St_Jimmy
Stagger_Lee
stardamage
stevie_says
supadupapupa
The_taste_of_Monkeys
TheUniter
TimetoDance
Tyrell
42 eligible votes (52 total) *
Entry 2:
_God
bigbabylons
darko
EchoBoxing
helbling
indoninja
joedaddy
JonnyX
Life101
littledan
phuzzygish
rad1101
rob_berg
Sacrilicious
Stogie
thecaes
15 eligible votes (16 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sakura (user info) at 2007-01-15 05:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
What the fuck.
Entry One is Probably the biggest mess of cliches I have ever experienced. And not in the good way.
Entry Two didn't even make sense.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you. Your work for the entire competition has been very emotional and heartfelt. I'd love to see any of your introspective works turned into a larger story. Drop me a line if/when you ever do such a thing.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-12-09 07:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JMG114, congratulations. I'm sorry that you had to go up against that - time and circumstances conspired against me, and I didn't want to directly forfeit. Sorry I couldn't give you a better match - Good luck in the rest of the competition; I don't think you'll need it.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2006-12-08 09:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#2 may have been short but it was well done.
#1 just pulled on my strings more, especially with the last part siblings talking about old times when they don't really like each other. Great stuff.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:18:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's interesting, but not surprising, that voters are assuming that entry 2 is an honest and true accounting instead of considering that it might be fiction (or so it appears from the comments that are being left behind).
I really think Entry 2 did a way better job of conveying the point of their story.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-08 02:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:55:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
Helbing-
George hated Daniel.
Daniel hates father.
Daniel hates his kids, but doesn't want to.
*************************
No he doesn't. He's just gay. So he probably hates his wife, or something. And George never hated Daniel. As I understood it.
Man, it must be annoying to be the author of one of these pieces and not be able to explain/defend yourself until voting is over.
It's interesting, but not surprising, that voters are assuming that entry 2 is an honest and true accounting instead of considering that it might be fiction (or so it appears from the comments that are being left behind).
I really think Entry 2 did a way better job of conveying the point of their story.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, man. Entry 2 was short, but #1 was just one cliche after another. None of it seemed very 'real' to me, everyone was just WAY too fucked up...and in predictable ways. Also, the dialogue didn't feel natural to me at all. There were also a couple of 'silly' moments, like when Dan accidentally punches his dad in the face because of his wildly flailing arms. Seriously, how does that happen? I think it would have been better if he lost his temper and actually smacked him one. Sorry, #1.
I thought Entry 2, though short, was pretty concise. In an efficient way, it did a good job of conveying the morbid hopelessness of a person filled with self-loathing.
Submitted by Tyrell (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TimetoDance (user info) at 2006-12-07 14:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-07 07:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-12-07 04:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did in a couple paragraphs what 1 couldn't.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-12-07 04:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet the author of #2 felt mighty clever after writing that hunk of crap.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 02:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-12-07 01:48:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-06 21:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-12-06 19:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
2 was gay and emo
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-06 18:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sigh
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-06 16:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1 was outstanding. Good call on the forfeit #2. Save yourself the effort.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-06 16:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-06 15:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just for the record I thought #2 was terrible as well, but just wasn't as painfully long, repetitive and predictable.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-12-06 14:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #1: I feel like I was just tricked into attending my family reunion.
Entry #2: I feel like I was just tricked into reading a myspace blog.
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-12-06 14:17:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-12-06 11:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mr-bee (user info) at 2006-12-06 04:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stogie (user info) at 2006-12-06 03:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-12-06 02:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fantastic, entry 1.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-12-06 02:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Author of Entry 2: Full marks for your candor and honesty. You're right; we all get exactly what we deserve and we all deserve what we get. It's a tough life and it may get worse before it gets better.
a couple ideas: Take life one day at a time; hell, take it one hour at a time if necessary. EXPERIENCE the pain, the negative emotions, bad times etc. for what they are. Realize that you will cycle out of all that into a better and more positive frame of mind.
also Baby Steps. When you did this post, it sounded like you were in a 'one step forward, 2 steps back' mode... not making any progress, things were dark and gloomy and depressing. Has anything changed for the better since then? Did you laugh out loud... at anything?
Lastly, I suggest some reading. There is pop psychology that can help in the short term but there are other books -- harder to read but may have the potential to turn things around for you. I don't pretend to know exactly how to help but I'd like to try. My e-mail address is listed on my 2nd or 3rd post; I know some authors and some books which just might be of help to you.
Take care... and take it easy. Try to get some enjoyment from life when and where you can.
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-12-06 00:01:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i can relate to the family drama. nice work.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-06 00:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was amusing, but it was sort of choppy and started to feel to me as if it were an exercise in "how much dysfunction can I write into one family." Decent tale, though, and I'm sure it will be considered the obvious choice by a lot of voters.
I'm sure a lot of people won't understand why some will vote for #2. I don't know..it just seemed so honest and maybe it's just the day I'm having but I actually appreciated it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-05 23:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-12-05 23:13:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
number one was actually quite good. It really drew me in and had a lot of twists.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-12-05 23:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
looked like it needed some help
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-05 22:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2006-12-05 19:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by _God (user info) at 2006-12-05 19:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-05 19:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-12-05 17:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubermadness isn't the place to have a fucking epiphany, entry #2.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-05 17:24:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing is better than a good, old-fashioned, broad-shouldered state assemblyman.
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2006-12-05 17:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 totally had my attention; very out there
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-05 17:09:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-05 17:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I voted for #2 because #1 was boring and way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way too long.
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-12-05 16:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ScarfaceMN (user info) at 2006-12-05 16:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-05 16:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
entertaining
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't the hate playa, the hate game!
"So I keep playing the same, twisted game. Only problem is, I'm beginning to run out of moves."
Author 2 was really hoping the SHEER POWER of that would blow me away.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I almost voted for number two.
Clearly lots of effort put into number one, and it was well written, but it was so long and unfocused and the brilliant ending that tied it all together just never really came.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm predicting a blowout. GO AUTHOR 2!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The reason I like two is because I don't believe it's true, but it screams honesty. To me that's great writing.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was actually well done.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 - short, sweet. emo-esque.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Helbing-
George hated Daniel.
Daniel hates father.
Daniel hates his kids, but doesn't want to.
Victor hates Sonia.
They're all playing a marvellous little game, where everybody's competing against each other. The main objective? Hate.
Kinda like how people refer to love as a game.
(This isn't me defending my own story, I can't write nearly that well. I would just hate to be #1, going..."wha...what the hell?")
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Like #2 even had a chance...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Running out of moves NEARLY got me to vote for 2
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by combatwombat (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't really believe that anyone put these two up against the other. The first was full of emotion and a little twisted at the same time. The first story was awesome. The second was pure shit. What the fuck was that supposed to be anyway? Boo hoo, you've done what we've all done to ourselves at one point or another. Life's rough, get a fucking helmet.
Submitted by helbling (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I will be honest here - were it not for the one thing I'm about to blather about, I'd have voted for #1. But I'm voting for #2.
Because this competition is about creating something to do with a title. That is the challenging part of it. It's coming up with something that's relevant. If you're not going to work to that, why enter? Why go to the bother of the competition when you could simply post your stuff on the main list under a more suited name? I do tend to vote on writing style, and originality (which both of thses fell down on a bit, if I'm honest), but relevance to the damn title is also a large factor, and I couldn't see any sign of it in #1. It was well written, I felt for a character on occasion, but, aside from those kids being really fucked up, I didn't see any connection to what you guys were given to focus on. I could be missing something entirely, but this is something that has annoyed me with a lot of entries in UM.
So, yeah, long story short, I'm voting #2.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good read both of you.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hiredugan (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:41:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
While it seemed a little long and forced, was still the better story. That is if you can call the whiny little emo blurb that was entry #2 a story.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'M NOT READING ALL THAT
Actually, I did. Nice.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was hard to get into #1, but it was well written, a lot of effort went into it, and was clearly the better piece.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus christ one was terrible, it was a like a godamn lifetime movie
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow. just wow.