Human Cloning (SPT) (785 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2006-12-07 12:40:27 EST
{Inspired by http://www.ubersite.com/m/96623}
Dave looked out the window, watching the snow settling gently to the street, and then sat down in front of the TV. He knew he should be out shoveling snow, but he figured he'd just try and borrow the snow blower from Dave next door, tomorrow morning. Or he could pay the kid down the block to do it. Little Dave always did a great job.
He had a few buddies coming over and had a few bags of snacks, a pizza warming in the oven, and over a dozen bottles of Miller on ice in a metal tub on the floor. The game was starting soon, and he was all set.
He turned on the TV and watched a few minutes of the news on DTV.
"And now a look at breaking stories from around the globe, brought to you by NewsDave, on Dave TV.
"Depending on the outcome of today's game in Los Angeles, either the Hootin' Hollerin' Daves or the Mudbelly Daves could be heading to the Dave Bowl next week to face the Daves of Destruction.
"An uprising of Daves in Syria has left over three hundred dead.
"The death toll continues to climb as the Dave flu sweeps across western Canada.
"The manned Mars launch is now a go, and in reflecting on his pending three month journey, astronaut Dave—"
The doorbell rang and Dave shouted, "Its open!"
It was Dave. "Got some extra brewskis, bro."
"Awesome," Dave replied. "Throw them in the tub."
Just as Dave was closing the door he heard a shout in the hall and let out a laugh.
It was Dave, and Dave was with him.
"Good timing, dude," Dave said.
"Yeah, no shit," Dave said.
"Man," Dave said, "Am I looking forward to this. This game is gonna kick ass."
"Grab a seat, guys," Dave said.
Dave pointed to the TV and laughed. "Oh man, they still searching for that thing?"
On TV the news anchor was saying, "...and so the search continues for the lost AutoClonoMatic. It was fifty years ago this week that a man named Dave contacted the media, informing them that he was going to activate his automated cloning machine in some remote region in hope of 'repopulating the planet with nothing but me.' While it can't be denied that there are a lot of people bearing the name Dave these days, most academics dismiss the arguably identical nature of these many Daves as mere coincidence. A physicist at Caltech has gone so far to suggest that we are all suffering a mass delusion and that the very idea of a cloning machine is ludicrous. We have more from reporter Dave—"
"Man, that's bullshit," Dave said. "All this Dave stuff can suck my rock hard cock."
"Whoa, man," Dave said, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. "Take it easy, huh? Dave is in the kitchen."
"Dave looked sheepish." Sorry Dave. Don't want to offend your better half."
"Oh, I think I'm getting used to it," Dave said, coming out of the kitchen with a platter of chips and a bowl of salsa. He gave Dave a kiss on the cheek. "Boys will be boys."
Dave watched Dave bend over and set down the platter and knew that Dave and Dave and Dave were checking out Dave's ass. Dave knew he was a lucky guy. His Dave was loving and supportive and worked hard to stay in shape so he was really hot, and in the bedroom he really knew how to handle a
OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH! I CAN'T CONTINUE THIS SHIT!
Fucking Maltese!
User Reviews
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Miller on ice? in 2053, I hope we are drinking better beer....
How about St. David (Belgian Strong Pale Ale) from Brasserie De La Touffe in Belgium http://www.frenchbeer.info/Wallonia/Brewery/Touffe.html
or
Davidson Brothers Smoked Porter (American Porter) from micro brewery in Glens Falls, NY http://www.davidsonbrothers.com/
or
Porthole Porter (by Dave Wendell) from Glacier Brewhouse in Anchorage, Alaska
or even
Harley Davidson Beer from SABMiller
I know...... not as easy (or recognized) beer; but just so you know (that I know) there are beers with Dave / David / Davidson that fit your story.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-08 03:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dave's not here
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, that's a lotta head.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*smirk*
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:12:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
this was bizarre. and confusing. and it made me picture shaun of the dead because of -Dave.
WHERE'S REDEMPTION ROAD ASSHOLE?!?!!?
******
Jack, I think she's tryin' to say something...
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S REDEMPTION ROAD ASSHOLE?!?!!?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was bizarre. and confusing. and it made me picture shaun of the dead because of -Dave.
WHERE'S REDEMPTION ROAD ASSHOLE?!?!!?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Malkovich?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:01:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:42:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
It was interesting until you got to them being a bunch of homos.
WTF?
--
In a world full of Daves, EVERYONE is a homo.
Why can't you see that?
----------------------------
And in a world not full of Daves, dave is still a homo.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Marklar, these marklars want to change your marklar. They don't want this Marklar or any of his marklars to live here because it's bad for their marklar. They use Marklar to try and force marklars to believe their marklar. If you let them stay here, they will build marklars and marklars. They will take all your marklars and replace them with their Marklar. These marklars have no good marklar to live on Marklar, so they must come here to Marklar. Please, let these marklars stay where they can grow and prosper without any marklars, marklars, or marklars."
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Me, me, me... Me too!
See also: "let's be Frank" a science fiction short story by Brian W. Aldiss
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 13:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:42:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
It was interesting until you got to them being a bunch of homos.
WTF?
--
In a world full of Daves, EVERYONE is a homo.
Why can't you see that?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:45:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I LAUGHED SO FUCKING HARD I SHIT MYSELF!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2006-12-07 12:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was interesting until you got to them being a bunch of homos.
WTF?