Rants and Raves: My First Semester of College (970 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.43 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob thinks dogs rule. (View user info) at 2006-12-07 15:54:14 EST
So I just finished my first semester of college (except Finals aka everything), and I thought that I should reflect upon the past three and a half months.
1. I fucking hate all you bitches that flash some pseudo gangsta signs in photos. You're at Brown University; YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING GANGSTA. Chances are that you're from Long Island, New Jersey or Massachusetts. Oh yea, real fucking ghetto you bitches. You're father works at some fucking Wall Street Company and your mom is some CEO for some company or another. Fuck you.
2. I don't mind the smell of weed, but when you're fucking smoking at 4am and I'm trying to get some sleep before a test, I would appreciate it if you didn't fucking smoke, or if you must, MOVE AWAY FROM DIRECTLY OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
3. If you're going to smoke inside your dorm room, PLEASE DON'T FUCKING CAUSE THE FIRE ALARM TO GO OFF! I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN I'M AWAKEN BY A WEEEEEEAAAAAAA WEEEEEAAAAAA AT 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING! FUCK YOU!
4. I HATE HIPPIES. All you do is bitch and moan and then bitch some more, but are you willing to change anything? No, you fucking take Ghanaian drumming or Abstract poetry classes. Oh yea, you're going to be real influential later in life with your damn Ghanaian drumming classes. FUCK YOU ALL!
5. Who the fuck would try to rip the exit sign down from the fucking hallway? I DON'T GET IT! Some asshole tried to fucking pull down an exit sign and what did he do, HE FUCKING DESTROYED THE CEILING! FUCK YOU, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET INTO THIS SCHOOL DAMNIT?
6. STOP WITH THE FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. Holy shit, this is a big one. I mean, some guy was loitering outside a dorm building at 3am, a cop came up to him and asked for his I.D., HE REFUSED TO GIVE HIS I.D. Then, the cop asked him to remove himself from the property of the University. HE RERFUSED TO LEAVE. What does the cop do? He arrests the kid. What happens the next day? THERE'S A HUGE ASS PROTEST ABOUT THE KID BEING ASSAULTED BY THE COP. FUCK YOU BITCHES, THE COP WAS DOING HIS JOB!
7. WHY CANT MY COFFEE MACHINE MAKE COFFEE THAT'S AS GOOD AS DUNKIN DONUTS OR AU BON PAIN? Fuck you fucking $60 coffee machine that spews crap that's slightly better than Starbucks.
8. FUCK STARBUCKS. YOUR COFFEE TASTES REALLY FUCKING BITTER AND IT ALWAYS TASTES LIKE IT'S FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE POT. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE LINE UP THERE LIKE DAMNED SHEEP FOR SUCH OVERPRICED, SHITTY COFFEE?
9. WHY CAN'T DOMINOS MAKE A DECENT PIECE OF PIZZA? They deliver until 3am, and I'm like, "Wow, that's really great. I love pizza in the early morning." But then I fucking order pizza, AND IT TASTES LIKE SHIT. Thank God for their good Cheesy Bread or I would've starved.
10. Sleep. Fuck you sleep. WHY CAN'T I FALL ASLEEP? Why must it take me 2 fucking hours, every single night to fall asleep? I HATE YOU. YOU CAUSED ME TO GET A DAMNED 52 ON MY CHEM TEST (Which was actually a B).
11. Why must the old lady who cards working EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRY TO GET SOME BOOZE? EVERY DAMN TIME! I mean I go at noon one day, 3pm another day, 9pm another day, AND EVERY DAMN DAY ITS YOU! FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE OLD WITCH!
12. FUCK YOU ATHLETES WHO THINK YOU'RE THE SHIT BECAUSE YOU GOT INTO A GREAT SCHOOL WITHOUT HAVING TO WORK. DO YOU LIKE BEING THE STUPIDEST KIDS ON CAMPUS? FUCK YOU.
13. I GET IT, I GET IT: You're here, you're queer, I'm used to it, NOW STOP CHANTING IT BITCHES
(PS: So this isn't all negative, the actual educational aspect of the school is absolutely great, but then again, I'm taking real classes [Political Philosophy, International Politics, Neuroscience, Inorganic Chemistry]; I can't speak for the Ghanaian drumming, Birdwatching or Abstract Poetry classes.)
User Reviews
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
super duper
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-21 15:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2006-12-08 16:21:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! I HATE Starbucks! Those assholes don't even make a regular coffee. Isn't that the point? To have coffee? """
WOAH??
IS THIS 2001?
I HATE STARBUCKS TOOO!!!
And they do. You just ask for coffee of the day and you get a regular, black, coffee.
spastic.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-21 15:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont know loki, I have some good French Roast beans that seem really good.
could you imagine if I chose Duke loki, would you ever speak to me again?
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-12-20 09:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it's true about the coffee. My coffeemaker in college made pisspoor coffee, no matter what kind i put in it. it always sucked.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-20 09:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
7 - dunkin donuts sells coffee for you to make at home. it really is what you put in the machine that makes the coffee taste coffee.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-12-20 09:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ps. I think bad coffee is more a case of garbage in, garbage out than the coffee maker.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-12-20 09:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hated HATED the legacy kids. I'm sure you have them there, those are the kids who would never have gotten in to school there if their parents weren't alumni. Idiots the lot of them, but since they also have connections they got all the good jobs right out of college.
We had the loud, proud ghey pride kids. One time they decided to make it ghey jeans Friday and announced that anyone wearing jeans to class on this one particular day was sending the message that they were either ghey or at least accepting of the homosexual lifestyle. Fuck you, I'll wear what I want to.
at least you're not at Duke
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-08 19:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe Im weird but I just like coffee with some sugar. damn those $5 specialty drinks.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-08 19:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a regular coffee at starbucks. That's not what it's there for. Make friends with an upperclassman and stop bitching about the liquer store. I forgot about the other things I wanted to comment on and these things don't sound so bad so I switched from a -2 to a 0. Good work. Don't die next semester.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i love you too shlongy.
Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2006-12-08 16:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! I HATE Starbucks! Those assholes don't even make a regular coffee. Isn't that the point? To have coffee?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you were in college when I was in college, your bed would have been moved to the roof of the cafeteria, and all of your belongings would be thrown out of the fifth floor window of "Haffey Hall" ontop the communal lawn.
You would have lasted about three days in the dorms - or, roughly one day longer than the freshmen dorks who I really DID this stuff to 24 years ago.
Quit whining.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Dude Abides
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-08 09:41:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea what discussion you are talking about.
No noffense, but I can't see wanting to party with a guy who finishes a double in political theory and evolutionary biology.
___________________________
Yea...I just wont bring it up.
haha.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post makes you sound like a whiny bitch.
You're at an Ivy League school, you had to know that a lot of the time parents send their spoiled rich kids there for the status symbol.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-08 10:01:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
brat
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-08 09:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Indo, I wanted to thank you for the discussion in the post a few days ago. That was great stuff.
And I can stay away from that stuff, I think im doubling in political theory and evolutionary biology.
--------------------
No idea what discussion you are talking about.
No noffense, but I can't see wanting to party with a guy who finishes a double in political theory and evolutionary biology.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why not just write IM GAY in massive letters instead of that drivvel.
It's Uni for fecks sake! Get some memories, dont be a boring cunt like you are.
SCHWING.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-12-08 07:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get an apartment. You don't have to 'move out' of your dorm if your school requires noobs to live on-campus. Get an apartment and then you'll see that it's just as bad as the dorm. And it will help you with your PoliSci degree by giving you an early start on learning to have a roommate for the rest of your fucking life as you struggle to pay of your $250,000 student loans on $35,000 a year as a department assistant manager at Home Depot and...
Sorry. Sorry. I don't know you; I don't know that you'll end up like that. I hope you don't. My nephew's going to college soon and is still undecided on what courses to take that will enable him to achieve his five-year plan of a) dissolving corporate control of the world's resources, b) ending poverty and hunger, and c) developing free unlimited nonpolluting safe energy sources. Youthful idealism is one thing, blind stupidity is quite another.
Get used to it - there will always be a hippie next door. Good luck.
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:30:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SHINEBOX NEVA WENT TO UNI, BUT IF I DID I WOULD HAVE PISSED YOU OFF 2
FUCK DOMINOS
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was at uni, my halls of residence were built by a company who specialised in making women's prisons in New Zealand.
I want to learn Ghanian drumming now.
You do seem a bit pissy
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Be thankful you have that huge of a room. Before I leave, I'll take a picture of my "room." It will make yours look like a palace.
Other than that, I agree with you on every single fucking point.
Every single one.
Only instead of the exit sign...the guys downstairs ruined their phone, so they use the upstairs one. Which is three feet away from my room. Which means I have to answer the damn thing. EVERY FUCKING TIME. And since the guys downstairs are all from Kenya, the phone rings at 3:00 am. ALL THE DAMN TIME.
I've tried everything to get people to stop calling. Nothing works. So instead, I decided to take the phone off the wall.
It was screwed in pretty tight, so now there's a gaping hole in the wall. but that's okay, cause now the downstairs has a phone.
For the finale, at 3 pm every day (when the boys are sleeping, apparently they can't get used to the fucking time change), I call the phone. Har har, vengeance is mine. Wakes those fuckers right up.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Normally here's where I'd drop my -2 and a "Quit your goddamned whining, you rotten little shit" or something to that effect. But I like you, so have a 0 and a "whatever."
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:24:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike you north eastern rapist, get on MSN messenger NOW!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 stacking cubes. If you survived your first semester without them falling apart, you've done better than me.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:03:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate you and your kind.
i better you wear button down oxford shirts you repressed homosexual.
a career in politcs awaits you and everyone who is either a) a politician or b) wants to be a politician is automatically a cunt.
Cunt.
____________________
Damn Apollo, what's with the hate?
No I don't wear button down oxford shirts, I'm currently wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt. I've already ranted on multiple occasions about JAPs and those people so I think that went without saying.
=====================
whats wrong with JAPs?
I liked the bit about the cop.
the rest of it sounded like the rantings of a spoiled kid.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at Ghanaian drumming but also the fact that your dorm room looks EXACTLY Like the halls of residence at Glasgow Uni is creepy
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:18:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(Although George Bush? That doesn't make any sense at all. You must have me confused with someone else... but I didn't want to ruin the joke after you set it up so delicately.)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:57:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:42:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like bob.
...too many CAPS though.
--------
You mean you like TO bob. Your head up and down in George Bush's lap.
---
Only when I Neil.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:42:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like bob.
...too many CAPS though.
--------
You mean you like TO bob. Your head up and down in George Bush's lap.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:04:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
take english, learn to use words other than
fuck
fucking
fucker
fucking-shit
shit
damn
etc.... do you really go to an ivy league????
_________
Its called a rant. I don't need to use perfect grammar.
and yes, i do.
Submitted by cstick3 (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
take english, learn to use words other than
fuck
fucking
fucker
fucking-shit
shit
damn
etc.... do you really go to an ivy league????
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh, dorm shenanigans - I could fill the front page with stories - perhaps I should.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like bob.
...too many CAPS though.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with ya brother. I just finished my first semester. So +2 for that, the fact that I have that same ATHF poster, someone did basically the same thing to our exit sign, insomnia, and to going to a institute of higer education and finding out many of the people there are complete morons who probably put their shoes on the wrong feet most days.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:52:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Ivy League Intelligence" made me laugh.
The Ivy League schools have become the schools where all the spoiled, rich, east coast children extend their childhoods by an additional four years. It's been at least a good 50 years since they were the source of any real intelligence or cutting edge research.
It's a shame, but it is inevitable when schools focus more on pumping up endowments than education.
_________________________
Yea, theres a noticeable difference between the legacies (those who got in because their parents are rich and they went here too) and the kids that got in on their own merit.
Luckily, I think its starting to change back again.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Ivy League Intelligence" made me laugh.
The Ivy League schools have become the schools where all the spoiled, rich, east coast children extend their childhoods by an additional four years. It's been at least a good 50 years since they were the source of any real intelligence or cutting edge research.
It's a shame, but it is inevitable when schools focus more on pumping up endowments than education.
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate you and your kind.
i better you wear button down oxford shirts you repressed homosexual.
a career in politcs awaits you and everyone who is either a) a politician or b) wants to be a politician is automatically a cunt.
Cunt.
Submitted by rwhitz (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Captain, theres a liquor store thats a 2 minute walk from campus that pretty much makes its living from the university, and no one there cards except for this one old lady.
I wondered the same thing before I found out that the laws here are relatively weak about selling to minors.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Congrats on surviving your first semester of college. But the carding thing...why bother even trying if you're only 18 or 19? I doubt anyone with half a brain would want to risk their job by selling alcohol to a minor...
Anyhow, you made it through the first half, now just don't fuck up the second. Good luck with finals.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whats wrong with political theory apollo?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:07:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:04:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Political Philosophy, International Politics, Neuroscience, Inorganic Chemistry
you are going to discover drugs/binge drinking and switch to business.
_____________________
Hey Indo, I wanted to thank you for the discussion in the post a few days ago. That was great stuff.
And I can stay away from that stuff, I think im doubling in political theory and evolutionary biology. """
politcal theory!!
I KNEW IT
PROOF THAT THIS LITTLE FAGGOT IS A PRICK.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The unabomber started out a lot like you.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:06:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:04:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Political Philosophy, International Politics, Neuroscience, Inorganic Chemistry
you are going to discover drugs/binge drinking and switch to business.
_____________________
Hey Indo, I wanted to thank you for the discussion in the post a few days ago. That was great stuff.
And I can stay away from that stuff, I think im doubling in political theory and evolutionary biology.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:02:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
where is your roomate's stuff?
__________
On the other side of the room.
And no, I don't think I'm the one everyone hates, mostly because I use this site to vent my anger instead of at people in real life.
I think it helps.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:04:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Political Philosophy, International Politics, Neuroscience, Inorganic Chemistry
you are going to discover drugs/binge drinking and switch to business.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate you and your kind.
i better you wear button down oxford shirts you repressed homosexual.
a career in politcs awaits you and everyone who is either a) a politician or b) wants to be a politician is automatically a cunt.
Cunt.
____________________
Damn Apollo, what's with the hate?
No I don't wear button down oxford shirts, I'm currently wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt. I've already ranted on multiple occasions about JAPs and those people so I think that went without saying.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where is your roomate's stuff?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
prick
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:01:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet*
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow your the kid everyone hated on thier dorm freshman year.
STFU its college.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate you and your kind.
i better you wear button down oxford shirts you repressed homosexual.
a career in politcs awaits you and everyone who is either a) a politician or b) wants to be a politician is automatically a cunt.
Cunt.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like college has made you angry.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Every poster in a college dorm is automatically gay.
Unless it is guiness.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well you're an uptight prissy little prick aren't you?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow what neat posters. You must be a very neat and funny person because of the quirky comedy posters.
Can we be friends.