The Secret Uber Wars - pt 5 (1311 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: UberAssemble
Rating: 1.85 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-12-07 15:57:57 EST
Tales Of The Uberverse... http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/uberassemble
___________________________________________________________________________________
"God damn it to hell," swore Method simply, holding his wounded shoulder, "I hate you so much."
"Mutual," replied Commander Rad as he nursed a broken rib.
"Are you quite finished now?"
"I feel better, yes," said Rad.
"Fucking fool," muttered Method.
"Arrogant prick," said Rad loudly.
Method scowled, but said nothing else for a moment. Then, "Have you concocted anything resembling a plan?"
"Well, I thought I would let you run wildly through this maze and follow you for a bit."
"Have I told you I hated you in last five minutes?"
"Yes."
"Well, in that case," said Method, "We should come up with something substantially better."
"I've left small clues at the body's of both JMG and Big Mike. Hopefully one of my troops will discover them and be secretly alerted to my presence here."
"What good will that do?" asked Method.
"I'm hoping to somehow get in contact with Axolotl or TTOM, maybe Hadley if he's here, but I'm not..."
"Hadley's dead," stated Method.
"Fuck!"
"However, I saw a strange floating cyborg unit that appeared to have a large brain sprouting from its head."
"The McCallum?" asked Rad in awe.
Method just shrugged. " I assume. We should go, my alters sense something."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jonny X ran down the corridor, flew around the corner and slammed face first into a wall.
"Fuck!" exclaimed the ability leech, rubbing his nose.
He turned around in the small dead end, only to see a stone wall fall heavily from the ceiling down into place opposite him. He was now trapped in a ten foot by ten foot room, smooth gray stone surrounding him. Jonny X sighed and pondered this for a second until he heard a grinding noise. Looking around, he realized that the side walls were moving, closing in on him.
"Fucking fuck!"
He reached out with his power, trying to find anyone else in the vicinity that he could lock onto. Stretching his leeching ability to the limit, he found no one; there was nobody near him at all. The walls grew closer.
"Not fucking happening, no way!" yelled Jonny X.
He put his arms out, hands up to try and brace the walls, but they pressed in. Soon his elbows began to buckle and and he had to release or shatter his arms. He lashed out with his power, desperately seeking any ability to find, as his space grew dangerously small.
There was nothing.
He felt the pressure on his torso first, the buckling of his ribs. Organs shifted and started to rupture. Jonny X turned his head and yelled out one last curse as the walls pushed against his skull, cracking it and coating everything red.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Indoninja stepped around the corner and saw him.
ETS stopped in mid-stride and stared.
Without saying a word to each other, the two warriors removed their guns and tossed them to the side. Indoninja pulled his retractable staff out and threw it over to where ETS had flipped his machete. There would be no weapons in this fight.
A martial arts expert, Indoninja was an agent of the United States government, a Black Ops spook of the highest order. His mission was to preserve the conservative status quo at all costs. He had dispatched activists, informants and anarchists the world over, all in the name and glory of his beloved country.
A rogue survivalist, ETS represented everything that Indo stood against. A radical liberal, he sought change and reform no matter what the body count. He had been born with the mutant ability to instill fear and paranoia in small numbers, something he often did instead of straight out assassinations. His actions had caused some limited effects that Indo's employers had been battling against for years.
"You still have the implants that make you immune to my powers?" asked ETS getting into a fighter's stance.
"Care to test?" replied Indoninja, knowing the psychic backlash would drop his opponent.
"Excellent," replied ETS. "This is how it should be."
And they began...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
There wasn't much remaining of Average Dan. Forensic Girl had deduced that the precise shots had to be coming from either Scourge, Anansie or ETS. Mockidol could have made these shots, but since he was lying dead at her feet as well, that wrote him off the list. Pretty soon, her shooter would get a good hit in and that would be the end of her.
Then a sound came ripping out of the other side of the corridor, shortly followed by a scream at the far end.
"About time," said a voice.
Forensic Girl turned to see the Assassin of the Seas calmly strolling up behind her, his gun smoking from a recent shot.
"I've been chasing Anansie all about this place the entire time. Honor bound and all that, you know."
Forensic fumbled for her weapon, but Scourge brought his gun to bare on her. "No, my dear. I don't think so. Toss it down the hallway... slowly."
She did as he commanded, and looked up at him. "Now what?"
"It would seem the complex has decided to fight back, " explained Scourge. "My bionic hook hand was damaged. Now, I know you're a bit of a science wiz. Let's see if you can repair it. Oh, by the way... your life depends on it."
Forensic Girl sighed and got to her feet. She inspected the damaged appendage. It was hanging by some nural-cyber wires, the bio-mechanic synapses almost completely severed. Forensic frowned as she tinkered with the hook.
"I can probably fix it, but..."
"I don't really like that 'but' part there," said Scourge.
"I'll have to use some parts from my own bionic arm and it'll take a while. You better keep a fucking look out."
"Oh, I will darling," smile Scourge. "I will."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"No way!" exclaimed Inion De Trua.
"Seriously, it showed up asking for a pint o' ice cream. Mint chocolate chip, if I had it!" laughed Merlina.
"The Infernal Fallen have gotten very strange, indeed," giggled Inion.
"I'm tellin' ye, If I hadn't been so shocked, I probably would've..."
"A-ha!" shouted Shlongy as he rounded the corner. "Now you two broads just come to Shlongy and he'll take care of you... in his own special way!"
Merlina and Inion De Trua glanced at each other.
"Heret Kau, if you would please," ordered Inion.
A whirl of smoke spun into appearance between the women and the Crime Lord, Shlongy firing into the small tornado. The grayness evaporated and another woman stood there, tan-skinned and naked to her waist where a skirt of bones were linked together, barely covering her lower region. Her black hair was long and braided, it weaved around her and had tiny shells that tinkled tied in at the ends.
"Well there honey," said Shlongy, slightly lowering his weapon, "This is a nice little surprise! Three chicks for Shlongy to stick his..."
The new woman's eyes clouded over obsidian black and her jaw disengaged, lengthening like a snake's. Her arms cracked as they gathered a dozen new joints and stretched out with foot long black talons. They pierced the ribs of the Crime Lord just as a serpentine tongue, covered in saliva, came whipping out and flayed the skin from his face.
"Wha, what the fuck!" screamed Shlongy as he was quickly dragged to the woman's mouth.
Before he could say anything else, he was shoved alive into the slobbering orifice of the ancient deity, consumed whole. Within seconds, she transformed back into her previous beautiful form, turned to Inion and bowed. With her job completed, the woman vanished.
"Heret Kau?" asked Merlina, her arms folded across her chest. "Egyptian, right? I believe Old Kingdom."
"Yeah!" said Inion De Trua. "They love having something to do now."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The explosion knocked Snark back a few yards. The alien fell hard against the stone wall and swore loudly. Fucking mines, he should have been more careful. His body was numb from the shock, but he coughed as the smoke cleared. He waved it away to inspect his wounds.
To his horror, he saw that most of his left foot had been blown away.
Before the pain could set in, he focus his bio-electrical energy to his damaged limb and solidified a new foot. The hurt would come and he would absolutely have to seek medical attention when he got out of this, but...
If he got out of this.
Why did it matter? The humans had crippled him in their idiotic game. He had come to Earth an ambassador of peace, and what had happened? He had been forced to use his abilities in a non-stop war. They would never let him rest as long as he lived. He didn't deserve this agony and the humans didn't deserve his help.
A part of Snark raged against this line of thought, but he couldn't help it.
The Alien brought his hands up underneath his chin and thought about his home. Green skies and rain. He wondered if his gods would find him so far away. A small voice inside his head cried out to stop this madness, but Snark wouldn't listen. He whispered a prayer in his native tongue, then called forth a solid blade of energy to appear, plunging from his throat out the top of his head.
The Cyst Master stood on the far side of the hall, watching as the last of the smoke cleared. He witnessed the pale blue translucent blade slowly dissipate as Snark's bio-electrical energy ceased, the alien blood come rushing out of the now open wound. As much as he wanted to inspect the death closer, he knew his abilities had no strength over the mines in the floor. Instead, he just rubbed the growing erection through his pants and trotted away.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Forensic Girl had finished cannibalizing her own bionic arm to outfit Scourge's cyber hook. She pushed the wires back into place and screwed the fastening unit into place. Stepping back, she held out her hands in in expectation.
"Hmmm," responded Scourge. "The transmitters are a bit slow. However, the spin mechanism works better than before. You do fine work, my dear!"
"Thank you," said Forensic Girl.
"Look at you, covered in all that blood. I hope it's all Average Dan's and none of it's yours."
Forensic gave him a half-cocked smile.
"Yes, it's really too bad I have to kill you now," said Scourge with a little pity in his voice.
"I assumed as much," replied Forensic. "I should tell you some thing, though..."
"Go ahead, lass," said Scourge, cocking his weapon.
"I planted a psion-cyber explosive in your hand."
"Wha..." exclaimed Scourge as his arm and half his torso erupted in a denotation.
Forensic Girl sighed as she looked down at the remains of the assassin, wiping soot and fresh blood from her face.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The corridor opened up into a giant room and Axolotl closely followed by Hourman crept in. So far, they had skirted all major barriers and offensive capabilities, including an encounter with the madman Habeeb, thanks to the precognitive powers of Hourman. The few obstacles they had run into had been minor and swiftly dealt with by Axolotl's weapons.
"Hey, this is the room we started out in!" whispered the boy genius loudly to his companion.
"You sure?" asked Hourman. "It looked... smaller before."
Axolotl grimaced at Hourman and beckoned him to creep up behind. He gave a series of hand gestures signaling his desire for them to make their way along the wall to another door at the far end. Hourman nodded in understanding and prepared to move.
"Wait!" the precog called out suddenly as a hail of laser fire rained down directly in front of Axolotl.
The boy genius dove back and whipped out two hand held plasma pistols. Taking shots in the direction the opposing fire had come, he ran through the center of the great room towards the opposite wall. Axolotl rolled out of the way of a series of laser bursts and came up, guns ready.
"Stop! Everyone stop!" screamed Hourman, rushing out into the middle of the floor.
"What the fuck do you think..."
"Your next round of shots would have hit Crystle!" exclaimed Hourman.
Axolotl looked up to see Crystle being carried down from the balcony by a bizarre cyborg with no legs.
Axolotl blinked. "McCallum, is that you?"
"It is, young one," came the synthesized voice. "We are glad to see you."
"Ax!" cried Crystle, coming to embrace the boy genius. "We've actually been looking for you! We're so happy you're alive!"
"Crystle, McCallum... this is Hourman. One of the newer crew," said Axolotl.
"Hey," said Hourman.
"You said you were looking for me, what's up?"
"McCallum has some calculations to run past you. An idea about the complex," said Crystle.
"I've got some ideas about the complex as well," replied Axolotl, giving Hourman a sly grin.
"We need to track down more of the UberMen," said Crystle.
"No, that might be too suspicious," said Axolotl, thinking. "What we need, is to find Davros."
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
Professor Bart-Bart - Deity and creator of the Uberverse
Susie Derkins - Assistant to Bart and ability to psionically map information
Bickerstaff - The ultimate weapon of mankind
Istaros - Martial artist monk and speaker for Bickerstaff
___________________________________________
Razor - Demi-god with own agenda, brought back Method
Firefly - Demi-godess in union with Razor, brought back Rad
Commander Rad - Leader of the UberMen with enhanced senses
Method - KIng of alters who can call up shadow army
___________________________________________
01 - Tiger Lily - Nuclear fusion powered leg, energy manipulation
02 - Ghola - Petite ninja warrior, immune to psionics
03 - TTOM - Simian professor, enhanced intelligence, agility and strength
04 - Caulaincourt - Quebec Quartermaster, can mimic any fighting style
05 - McCallum - Mutant Brain powered cyborg, flight, energy manipulation, calculations
06 - Munkypants - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
07 - Scourge - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
08 - Forensic Girl - Scientific mercenary, analytical bionic arm
09 - Big Mike - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
10 - Apollo - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
11 - Axolotl - Super boy genius, marksman, limited invulnerability
12 - Brdn Nkd - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
13 - Sacrilicious - Ninja trained with power to psionically induce plague
14 - ETS - Survivalist with ability to create panic and paranoia
15 - Strwbry Fanatic - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
16 - Orgasmatron - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
17 - Crystle - Empathic sensitive, emotion control
18 - Average Dan - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
19 - Merlina - Occult sorceress with various spell casting powers
20 - Lisa - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
21 - Sicosemen - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
22 - Shlongy - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
23 - Indoninja - USA security agent, trained in martial arts
24 - Darko - Avatar of death, ability to weaken souls
25 - Stagger Lee - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
26 - Snark - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
27 - JMG - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
28 - Inion De Trua - Celtic sorceress with summoning abilities
29 - Habeeb - Psychotic with mutated physiology, can appear as others for short time
30 - The Cyst Master - Damaged advanced psionic enhancements
31 - Hadley - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
32 - Hourman - Has ability to see one minute into future at all times
33 - Mockidol - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
34 - Sphagnum - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
35 - Captain Thorns - DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!
36 - My Tee One - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
37 - Coley - Magical ability to transform into giant Orc
38 - Anansie - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
39 - Davros - Multi-applicable telepath, astral projection
40 - Johnny X - DEAD _ DEAD _ DEAD!!!
TWENTY-ONE DEAD, WHO WILL SURVIVE THE NEXT CHAPTER???
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-16 23:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:38:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:09:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I have a cameo appearance?
Let Inion summon me up and peck someone's eyes out or something.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That would be awesome.
"Inion, summon the GodChicken, quick."
A massive chicken appears, bathed in light, and destroys her enemies.
--------
i concur.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-01-04 21:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And THEN...?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-18 06:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Put your hands up if your not dead yet
*Raises hand with a sly grin*
This so ego stroking....i love it.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2006-12-15 09:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope my +2 will lead to a part 6 .
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-11 21:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for not killing me off yet.
:)
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2006-12-10 17:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
(and at least it won't be someone running down the best ever list to knock him off, or a dumb alter or retaliatory rating...those are worse than an accidental 0, at least in my book)
--------------------------
Huh?
First I'm an alter...
Now I'm a 'dumb' alter....?
Jeez...I just can't win!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my muthafuckin birthday!!!
+2's all around!!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA BITCHES I"M STILL ALIVE
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-08 19:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So Rad and Method are working together? Very interesting...
either that or I'm an idiot
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-08 07:52:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:28:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Still loving the indifferent manner in which the chatting girls are dispatching of their rivals.
~~~~~
Me too.. this is awesome. Written so well.
and I want a drawing too!!
---
We should just make our own. My, how depressing that would be.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell Yeah.
First mention.
Double Hell Yeah.
-Dave
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:09:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I have a cameo appearance?
Let Inion summon me up and peck someone's eyes out or something.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That would be awesome.
"Inion, summon the GodChicken, quick."
A massive chicken appears, bathed in light, and destroys her enemies.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man i willed de evolution in one of these before and now where am i?!?!?!
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I respect you for not writing yourself into this.
Also, I didn't know where else to put this for you to see it so you have my apologies.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96649
I think you would appreciate this and maybe have insight on where the fuck in my psyche it came from.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-12-08 11:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I have a cameo appearance?
Let Inion summon me up and peck someone's eyes out or something.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-12-08 10:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-08 07:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:28:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Still loving the indifferent manner in which the chatting girls are dispatching of their rivals.
~~~~~
Me too.. this is awesome. Written so well.
and I want a drawing too!!
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2006-12-08 05:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for shlongy being eaten alive !
and +2 for shlongy being eaten alive !
and +2 for shlongy being eaten alive !
and +2 for shlongy being eaten alive !
and did i mention +2 for shlongy being eaten alive ?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-08 04:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-08 03:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whoops-e-daisy
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-08 03:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
(and at least it won't be someone running down the best ever list to knock him off, or a dumb alter or retaliatory rating...those are worse than an accidental 0, at least in my book)
================
what are you trying to say?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-12-08 02:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I had a good run. Damn you scourge.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-07 20:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:54:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The fact Im mentioned only by name=+1
The fact that if I was a womanz Id totally hump you=+1
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:13:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY SUSIE YOU WERE IN A POST TODAY.
--------------------------------------
I saw that. At least I lived in this one *WEEPS*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY SUSIE YOU WERE IN A POST TODAY.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:20:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:15:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
to get my own drawing i need to provide more camwhores don't i?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yes, Katy.
Oh dear bloody Jaysis, yesyesyesyesyesyes...
----------------------------
I'd like a drawing too, but no more camwhores. Once was enough.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm doing my best to stifle my laughter here.. not getting good results!
One of the VP's just walked by and looked at me suspiciously...
And scourge.. I make you feel dirty?!?! *sob*
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:09:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
========
Uberian slip.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 19:04:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:21:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... now being girly is bad?
Besides, you should see what I can do to your mind.
--
Oh, it's already done, believe me.
I didn't get any work done today.
I kept thinking about cherry stems and Starbursts.
(+2 locked in... check!)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES Everybody's asploding!
On a mostly unrelated note, I think Mockidol should fucking post something. I miss that shit.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is it 'blow'?
because Crystle, you know i like you an awful lot - so please don't take this the wrong way - but he'd rather you blow something other than his mind I'd guess.
now i feel dirty. i'm sorry
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*SHOULD* not show...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:07:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
No way scourge would trust some broad like that.... Not if he was smart enough to kill me.
---
hadley speaks the truth.
obviously i didn't die in the blast and will come bckk to pillage and rape.
mccallum, sorry to say you're next. i fucked up and zeroed the last one and look where it landed me...DEAD_DEAD_DEAD
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(and at least it won't be someone running down the best ever list to knock him off, or a dumb alter or retaliatory rating...those are worse than an accidental 0, at least in my book)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... now being girly is bad?
Besides, you show see what I can do to your mind.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:09:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:03:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha... oh my....
but isn't the mind the most important sexual organ there is?
--
Jeez. What a girly thing to say.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bumpity-
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bump!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dumb
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the balls of Christ, I did it again.
Kaos, just ban me from entering your posts.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:03:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha... oh my....
but isn't the mind the most important sexual organ there is?
--
Jeez. What a girly thing to say.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-07 18:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha... oh my....
but isn't the mind the most important sexual organ there is?
Kaos.. you my McDonalds, man.... I'm lovin' it.
Oh.. and thanks for saving me, Hourman!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:43:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
You sick bastard.
I just realized you threw me together with Crystle... and I have no genitals!
NO GENITALS!
Just kill me now.
Or give me genitals.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good sir you have once again rocked me like a friggin bitchass hurricane. Rock on brotha.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my genitals are engorged with blood as I read this.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm hosting a sit-in on my post for anyone interested in a non-violent means of supporting Jack's request for genitals. We will change the world peacefully, and while enjoying plenty of punch and pie.
DON'T LET JACK DIE! SUPPORT JACK'S REQUEST FOR GENITALS!
SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!
SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!
SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!
SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You humans are all to violent for your own good and you all taste like MSG.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, no play for Jack!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Give me genitals
or give me death!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So 'genitals or death' Jumpin' Jack?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You sick bastard.
I just realized you threw me together with Crystle... and I have no genitals!
NO GENITALS!
Just kill me now.
Or give me genitals.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still loving the indifferent manner in which the chatting girls are dispatching of their rivals.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking A
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:15:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
to get my own drawing i need to provide more camwhores don't i?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yes, Katy.
Oh dear bloody Jaysis, yesyesyesyesyesyes...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't think i've rated these even though i read them.
i am an asshole.
these are awesome. to get my own drawing i need to provide more camwhores don't i?
:(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would so have gay sex with you.
Call me!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SEXY TIME EXPLOSION
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent characterizations
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No way scourge would trust some broad like that.... Not if he was smart enough to kill me.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck...i was hoping for a more glorious death
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DEAD_DEAD_DEAD!!!