Vagina talk and a hideous camwhore!!! *puke*. Mutually exclusive from one another (3059 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.56 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Siren© (View user info) at 2006-12-08 22:39:46 EST
I'm at work, and if you know anything about my work, you know I am bored to tears this time of year. Hotel is pretty much empty, and I'm left here with my thoughts and one valet/ bellman guy.
We have to do something to pass the time. So, the result is pointless conversation fit for nobody but some potheads. Tonight's topic of conversation: The Asian vagina.
Legend has it (or, racial stereotypical myth has it) that Asian women have sideways vaginas. You know, like a dollar bill slot at a vending machine rather than up and down like a healthy and normal American vagina. I'm sure that all of you cultured and worldly people have heard this before. Some of you who are world travelers or who are in the military may have even experienced such a sexual delicacy. The conversation wasn't really about that, but rather about a question that this raised.
Maybe you fine educated people can help us out. The question is, where would the clitoris be located if there were such a thing as a sideways Asian vagina? Would it remain at the top, straight down from the belly button, or would it be sideways too, like this ------()
The dotted lines representing the line between the labia and the parentheses, the love nub.
My argument was for the latter. As far as I know, the sideways vagina is a myth. But if it was real, and sideways vagina land existed, the whole thing would be turned on its side. I can however see the other argument. That being, nature would take hold and it would be at the top for practical orgasmic reasons.
Ok, so that's it. Discuss.
Oh and looky! I got murried. Sucker...
You may all make bets on how long you think it will last.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and by the way, if the vagina were horizontal instead of vertical, it would have multiple clitorii (clih-tor-eye). One on each side.
Seriously, that would be the shit.
===
UM, YEAH IT WOULD.
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf is a clitoris??
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My sideways vagina has no clitoris.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and by the way, if the vagina were horizontal instead of vertical, it would have multiple clitorii (clih-tor-eye). One on each side.
Seriously, that would be the shit.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He should be playing the lottery daily after bagging you.
Lucky, lucky man.
You're gorgeous by the way, and you look so happy.
Nicely done. I hope you look that happy in twenty years. Seriously.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Third time's the charm!
Just kidding. You know you're my favorite bitter unwed single mother with kids from two different fathers.
But now you're not unwed anymore, darnit. Just don't suddenly become happy or anything.
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tsk-tsk. Double standards called and wants its sand back.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-04-05 10:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
we debated this point in the 3rd grade.
in the 12th grade i found out its false.
sorry to wreck it for the rest of you
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-04-05 09:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They would have 2. One on the left and one on the right.
That is why they like sex so much.
Congrats.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-05 09:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats, approximately 4 months too late.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-05 09:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you are a giant and a nerd!!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-20 12:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well then I guess it all works out. Silly picky wives.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-20 10:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-20 01:27:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only sort of an idiot, I got the joke but still thought I looked like someone. Besides myself. Whom you wish to be your third wife.
I'M SORRY I RUINED IT WITH MY STUPIDITY
Still want to marry me?
Too bad. I ain't marryin no one. :)
==========================================
For the best I'm sure... my current wife won't let me date...she's funny that way.... ;)
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-20 01:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only sort of an idiot, I got the joke but still thought I looked like someone. Besides myself. Whom you wish to be your third wife.
I'M SORRY I RUINED IT WITH MY STUPIDITY
Still want to marry me?
Too bad. I ain't marryin no one. :)
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-19 13:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well Coley, You look like...well... you. I've only been married twice... you would be 3, get it? I know...it's lame...
I'll crawl back under my rock now...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-19 12:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-19 12:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
She is hot... but alas, you are married. See, the line is supposed to go like this: Precision: "Coley, you look exactly like my third wife." Coley: "really? How many times have you been married?" Precision: "Twice."
----------
AHHHHHHHHAHAH
Clever. And I'm only sort-of married. Nothing like filling out divorce papers and christmas cards on the same day. Where's the wifely pics? I really do want to see who I supposedly look just like.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-19 12:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-18 21:01:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-18 13:23:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
on a side note...Coley looks EXACTLY like my 3rd wife...just so you know.
===
I demand pictoral proof.
rockfishrock.at.gmail.com
PS your 3rd wife was hot
==========================================================================
She is hot... but alas, you are married. See, the line is supposed to go like this: Precision: "Coley, you look exactly like my third wife." Coley: "really? How many times have you been married?" Precision: "Twice."
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-18 21:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-18 13:23:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
on a side note...Coley looks EXACTLY like my 3rd wife...just so you know.
===
I demand pictoral proof.
rockfishrock.at.gmail.com
PS your 3rd wife was hot!
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-12-18 13:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
on a side note...Coley looks EXACTLY like my 3rd wife...just so you know.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-12-18 13:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-12-12 03:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to shave for work, and your husband gets to have a 5 oclock shadow at his wedding. THIS IS BULLSHIT
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-12-12 00:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where is an Asian's clitoris? Is there something you're not telling us about your "honeymoon"? Hey, I'm not judging, whatever two or more adults feel like doing....
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:34:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hotel is pretty much empty, and I'm left here with my thoughts and one valet/ bellman guy.
-----
So you married the bellman? Pretty extreme response, don't you think?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-12-11 13:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look beautiful, Siren
he's a lucky guy
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-11 13:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-12-11 13:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it won't last long.
you're pretty ugly.
please don't reproduce.
please.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-12-11 09:49:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i'd fuck her.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-11 08:41:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:38:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
LOOK AT HER EAR!! SHE IS A VULCAN!
-------------------------------------
*spits out juice*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A serious congrats on the wedding, though, Siren! Just don't fuck it up and turn into a raging alcoholic like Shlongy.
Wait, what?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-12-11 07:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAMOUS harmonica players?
That's about as elusive as an intelligent native Floridian.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ask famous harmonica players about the sideways steeze. Girls with them seek out guys who know their way around a blowbox.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOOK AT HER EAR!! SHE IS A VULCAN!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Wed me or I will break your hand, dear."
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.. hidden sounds like he has sex *nearly* as much as Simon... you guys sure are some real hot chick magnets. phoar. I'm still tryin' to have sex with a caucasian.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-12-10 23:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've done a few asian broads. they're the same.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-12-10 22:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It'll probably last until you dump him. You look rather cute and he looks rather busted aka douchebag like. Then again it could just be a flattering picture.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-12-10 16:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Regular vaginas but irregular vocal response to sex.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-10 14:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just lovely...the marriage thing, not the vagina thing. Congratulations!
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Was going to be a +1, but I was too drunk to remember to rate. Hopefully, my horrible grasp of math is correct this time, and a +2 balances it out.
Actually, the +2 is deserved for making me remember all that tasty Asian pa-chach. Mmm... Hong Kong bitches...
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, doesn't it look like he's CRUSHING my hand? Jebus...
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like tall grass... that's hilarious.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sideways? No. Much tighter and tastier? Yes.
Even hairy Asian vajayjays are acceptable. The hair doesn't curl, so you can just push it aside like tall grass.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my muthafuckin birthday!!!
+2's all around!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:09:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
british teeth alert
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you. Asian don't have sideginas, you racist stoner.
I know this, trust me.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gorgeous
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-09 17:54:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
L'Chaim
------------------------------
LOL!
Did I just say LOL?
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats! Great pic you look so happy, and pretty!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-12-09 17:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
L'Chaim
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-09 16:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Vulcun ears.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This "picture" is just second rate photshop. She bought a dress and edited in a half zombie, half blob monster hybrid.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad Rad noticed the pointy ear. Wow.
This doesn't even look like you! All your pictures usually have you in glasses and looking somewhat miserable.
Awesome for you two, Siren...
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm an elf, Rad? Oh, the ear. Funny thing... my mom said I had very pointy ears as a baby. Hah.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I give you 18 months - tops....then, you'll be back, trolling Uber for your next husband.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-12-09 09:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about diagonals?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-09 08:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hadn't even read this.
terrible subject matter.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-09 08:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to know if the sideways vagina factor correlates in any way to the Asian Girl Porn Voice Pitch. It's so high.
Gorgeous picture. Congratulations.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-09 02:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what a gorgeous picture!
Congrats.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-09 01:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the record, you are absolutely beautiful.
and an elf
an absolutely beautiful elf.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-12-09 01:01:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
har-har you are a foureyes.
wait.
har-har you *were* a foureyes?
har-har you married a blind guy, when you're actually very pretty. Way to deal with your self-esteem issues....... and pretend you're a virgin by wearing white....
Slutty McOpenallhours.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-12-09 00:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
he has a small dick i'm sure
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf kuroneko_sama? Plus 2, for god's sake. Reminds you of a past love, and, even more, it's a marriage. God knows, I've had three, and I've enjoyed every one. Celebrate, for Christ's sake!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
filename
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you almost look like a girl i was seeing in highschool...
could you have a more whistful look in your eyes?... you're clearly far more lost in the moment than he is
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah...good...you are very nice-looking, and you look very happy. As for him, he looks happy too, but he looks like he has the potential to become extremely hairy. Is he Italian? That's okay if he is. I like Italians. But they are indeed hairy.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're cute, and this made me laugh
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:43:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations on you and the person you love deciding to engage in the only activity designed to make you both miserable for the rest of your lives.
im not bitter about anything.
===
HA
ME NEITHER
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, lungfish. He really hurt my feelings. I think I shall run away and cry myself to sleep tonight.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:53:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
YOURE FAT YOURE FUCKING FAT
wtf?...I think she's quite lovely. As for him...I'm not so sure.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-08 23:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck you....
in the throat.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha... Doodles.
yeah, Method... he got a haircut a few days before and it was a bit too short. It refuses to lay flat in the back.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOURE FAT YOURE FUCKING FAT
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first was an Asian girl...er...woman...I guess. Out of respect, I can't really comment on the sex...(but it was good). Congrats on the marriage, whoever you are. I'm probably supposed to know, but I don't. Congrats anyway.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations on you and the person you love deciding to engage in the only activity designed to make you both miserable for the rest of your lives.
im not bitter about anything.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:43:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It will only last until you see my penis.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you'd think he'd fucking comb his hair for his own wedding