holy christ, i wrote a poem (493 hits)
Category: SportsRating: -0.33 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by thecrystalship (View user info) at 2006-12-13 03:44:45 EST
the hope he had, the hope he bought
the hope, the bottle is what he sought
a desperate struggle it had brought
for in the bottle he was caught
no escape, no way out
tried every road, every route
left alone, and full of doubt
a curse, a cry, a scream, a shout
the last, the end was realized
that the bottle now despised
provided comfort for his prize
but took his life as compromise
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-12-18 12:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-13 15:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit...I "read" a holy shit.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-13 14:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pay more attention to the meter.
but i liked it.
would be +1, but im giving you another for balls.
poetry on uber...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-13 14:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for pissing everyionwe off
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2006-12-13 14:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I tend to find things more meaningful than most. This wasn't as awful as they say.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-13 11:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis
and woke up covered in goo.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-13 11:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see what happened here. I believe I have created the greatest literary work ever submitted to uber and everyone is just jealous. Yes, that has got to be it, because this is PURE PLATINUM.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-13 10:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't tell me...you just handed this in to your fifth grade teacher for your little writing assignment?
This is pure shit.
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-12-13 09:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
holy christ, it sucks!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-13 08:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Jeezum Crow, so did I. But mine's old.
"Quimsy and His Bag of Tricks"
Long have I yearned to be free of this stage life,
Minutes count down, slowly ticking, slowly ticking,
Marking off the moments 'fore I must ascend
To this, the plank-wood, decorated Hades of my life.
How oft' have I begged to be without prestige, spoil
or flash of fire?
Of thirty-sheet and poster board,
Of ironed cuff and whalebone wand?
Long ago I was something of a marksman,
And the people of my land, oh, how they looked up to me.
"Show us, Quimsy," they'd say,
"Show us how you make the arrows fly."
But that was before the tramp steamer,
The steely chains of my captors,
The glitz of the showstop life, and the corruption that Theatrica brings.
These fingers, how they used to grip the bow of sandalwood,
Pull tense rope, taut and gritting 'gainst the tips,
These eyes, better served for tracking deer,
Or picking up the distance of an approaching army back before the world was lost to powder, bomb and bullet.
I could have been a warrior, or a poet.
But look at me now:
Quimsy - Master of the Bag of Tricks.
Sitting in these stirrups and fingering myself
While the onlookers ooh and aah at my man pussy.
Why, Quimsy!
Why did you ever have to tell the gypsies you had a vagina???
And why did you show them how many oddities you could stuff inside of it,
Only then to remove them with your adept, capable fingers?
Why were you born with dangle AND gash?
Long-since taken from home,
Long-since accustomed to these wretched stirrups,
Now you are nothing but a shell of your former self!
"Stick your fingersticks in your love canal, Quimseroo!"
"Pull the apples out like you did earlier! My kid
didn't get to see it and now he's crying!"
"Do the thing with the thing!"
"I want to see you stick this bugle in you. Now."
My hands can do more than this, I know it,
But oh, how they make it easy for me to do as I'm told.
My eyes, far too capable for the showing,
Perceive they every flash of tooth, every drop of eye.
Oh, how the cheers and taunts fill my dreams like
fresh-from-the-gut feces filling a colostomy bag,
Or waiting, ready, willing mouth - dying and moist
with anticipation of a steaming torpedo dropping right
'tween its pinkish lips and onto its pulsing tongue.
Tongue stretched out and hungry for a taste of
yesterday's dinner.
Got a shoe you don't want to wear?
I'll stick it up my fleshflap.
Maybe some spare change you want to hear chime and
jingle in someone's snatch?
Give 'em here. Let me bounce for you.
Name it - I've done it all:
Jell-o mould, radar detector, tape dispenser,
sandwich, chinchilla, GO-Bot, fireworks, sand.
I hate the men who bring me their cell phones the most.
But only because I really have to work my cunt walls
to hit the buttons and place a crank call for them.
I'll be your pony and play your tricks,
For a dime, a nickel, or dollar per head.
But only because I don't want to be beaten by the gypsies.
Not again. Not ever again.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-12-13 07:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-12-13 05:31:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
There was girl from China
Who had a large.......
--
I thought it was:
"There once was a man from China,
Who wasn't a very good climber,
He fell on a rock
and cut of his cock,
And now he has a Vagina."
I could be wrong though
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-13 07:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I need my ratings higher...rating just to rate.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-12-13 07:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You did, didn't you
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-12-13 07:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Bubba's better.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-13 07:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-13 05:48:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who had an incredible feeling
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-13 05:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahahahahaah, you get a +1 for that
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V
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-12-13 05:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There was girl from China
Who had a large.......
I lost it
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it rhymes, it's a poem
dumb fuck, everyone knows that
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
He hit a rock and split his cock
and pissed all over the crew
I am on a roll.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no. you really didn't. this was poop.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah suck his cock.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-12-13 04:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-12-13 03:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-12-13 03:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Suck my cock.