Honoring the Honorable Honorees that deserved to be Honored (476 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by whiskeyjack (View user info) at 2006-12-20 05:13:24 EST
In America (or Amurica if you're from where I am) we are generally a good lot when it comes to honouring(fuck you spellcheck it looks better with a "u") those who deserve it. We have multiple holidays for our veterans, every other car has some symbol showing support. We give out awards to teachers, doctors, policemen, firemen, and any who excels at anything or does some sort of service for the public.
However there is one group of brave young souls that go unsung. Ladies and gents of Uber I'm talking about wingmen. Well I'm here to bring attention to this brave group, and give them the honouring (yeah I'm using it as a verb fuck you) they so rightly deserve.
Now for all you mouth breathers and gas huffers out there I'll quickly explain exactly what entitles a "wingman". A wingman is a "dude" that goes along with a buddy at a bar, party, AA meeting, or box social and basically gives any support needed to his "bro" so that said "bro" might have a better chance at getting laid. This might include the wingman to do a number of things (like slip the roofie in the drink).
A) The wingman might have to talk/distract on a friend so the "bro" may have more one-on-one access to his target.
B) He might have to distract any drunk n' fugly girl hitting on "bro" giving his "bro" time to asscape (tehehe couldn't resist).
C) The greatest service the wingman must perform though is the act of self(penar)-sacrifice. There may be a time when he must hook up with some mule faced whale of a biznatch. Doing this brave act gives his "bro" almost assurance of getting his wang wet.
So its easy to see why wingmen are heroes. They may not put out fires, teach the future of a country, or kill bad people, but I sure wouldn't want to live in a world without them. And so I salute them(as I have nothing better to do because currently my life is as exciting as Rent without all the AIDS, that is to say there's nothing going on) and so does every "bro". For having to watch friends have shit game, and then going as far as to put yourself inside a she-beast. Not to mention all the strange itching the morning after. These men deserve a statue (one that sprays beer) or holiday. God speed gentlemen and don't forget to wrap that shit.
Keep it sexy Uber.
User Reviews
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-09 03:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nag Dammit
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-03-09 02:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
because you're awsome. *SNEEK +2 ATTACK!
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2006-12-21 08:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is being schizophrenic ok too?
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-21 08:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-12-20 18:39:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, because I REALLY want to make out with you!
**********************
Damn the world it WILL happen! And it will rock entire galaxies woman!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-12-21 00:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pay Iraqi Veterans to sort through my M&M's in the morning.
Then we smoke crack and beat up peoples pets.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-20 22:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JonnyX was killed yesterday when his hard drive exploded and he was buried underneath seven tons of untreated waste material he was planning to post next year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate here: http://216.220.97.17/
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-20 21:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...for me learning a new word.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2006-12-20 18:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's to all wingmen everywhere in Amurica.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-12-20 18:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, because I REALLY want to make out with you!
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-20 17:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've had to "jump on the grenade" plenty of times myself. It's good to be a bro to a bro.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-12-20 12:56:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
we used to purposely invite
that "outsider girl," the one
that looked good enough but still had
the crabs. Just so she could fend off
those pesky wingmen-types.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-12-20 12:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
search "bro rape" on youtube. Maybe then you will stop saying "bro".
I'd do it for you but I'm too lazy. Give darko credit.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-12-20 12:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to give this a +2 because I helped (or did, depending on how you look at it) inspire this post.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-12-20 07:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is like the NC-17 version of the Bud Light commercial.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-20 07:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't stop drinking or you'll have to get another handle.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2006-12-20 06:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Things that I learned from this post;
- Whisky_jack knows my bro
- my bro is awesome
- Beano12w243432 is lame
- I forgot what this post was about as i'm typing this review
- smiles are fun
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-12-20 06:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BEER MILKSHAKE!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-12-20 05:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com
Yeah
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-20 05:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more 'bro'
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-20 05:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Lord I managed to say "bro" 7 times in one post. I either kick major ass or need to stop drinking so often. On that note I'm proud at how I wrote this last night drunk. Fuck yeah I'm a functional drunk!