Gifts I have had to act grateful to get except for that piece of pie (704 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.2 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by proofofpurchase (View user info) at 2006-12-21 10:41:01 EST
I am sure this has been done but I can't be bothered to look.
Spaghetti soap...circa 1978. A box of spaghetti shaped soap pieces that you were supposed to pitch into the tub to create lots of fun bubbles and get you squeaky clean. If you are only six year's old, don't notice the word soap and have lost your sense of taste/smell due to a nasty sinus infection your family may have to call poison control. Avon has gone on to become quite large despite this product.
Fun Candy - Pac Man shaped sweet tarts that came in a plastic maze glued to a piece of cardboard. You had to shake the damn thing to get the candy to go thru the maze to come out of a hole at the end...entirely too much work for mediocre candy roughly the size of a pencil eraser.
Vibrating pillow - ok, not so bad but it was covered in tan courdoroy fabric that was hard to clean, man.
A candy cane colored pillar candle with the following poem attached from my company secret Santa - "A minty candle for you to enjoy, from your secret Santa, whom you annoy." I never found out who it was.
Altoids - Says a lot without saying anything at all.
Tacky Christmas themed items such as earrings, t-shirts, mugs, and ornaments that since you have received them ON Christmas you must now wait another 337 days or so to unpack from storage to use again.
Prepackaged gift baskets of any sort. I truly believe everyone gets at least one of these each year from someone well-meaning, I am sure. I think we should have a collection point for these in each major city and then distribute them as care packages to those Sally Struthers type children that would appreciate a little I-don't-know-what-the-hell-it's-supposed-to-smell-like bath gel to use in their local watering hole, to go with their stale chips, candy, and nuclear proof preserved meats - much better than a handful of rice.
A coffee mug - I could almost appreciate this now but not at the age of 14. Especially if it has a bunch of cows grazing on it with one of them in the foreground smiling coupled with the saying, To Someone Outstanding in the Field. Fourteen is such an awkward age with self esteem - didn't know if I was being called fat or sarcastically stupid since I clearly wasn't a coffee drinker. Thank you Naomi Klembara, I will never forget you.
A piece of chocolate mousse pie, yummy. However my ass does not have the ability to taste and I got the feeling that wasn't being thought of when it was put onto my chair in 8th grade lunch the day before Christmas break. The plate had Merry Christmas written on it, I kid you not, which does in fact, make this a certifiable holiday gift.
Terry cloth t-shirt that has roller disco printed on the front with 1.5 pounds of glitter and hot-glued beads for special effect - I gave myself the equivalent of road rash whenever I moved but I was sparkly when hit with direct light.
Feel free to leave your own it's-the-thought-that-counts gift for everyone to be thankful that they weren't the one to receive....
User Reviews
Submitted by big_z_1980 (user info) at 2006-12-21 15:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have given up on getting gifts. i dont want them.
why? because everyone is clueless on what to get me. even if i tell them EXACTLY what i want. they fuck it up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-21 12:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who wants to give you ANY gifts, with that attitude.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-12-21 11:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to act like I like the clothes I get from relatives who have no clue about what I like to wear. V-neck sweaters, any other type of sweater, long sleeve anything, shirts with buttons on them, T-shirts that advertise things I don't own (I wiped my ass with a new Orange County Choppers t-shirt once - true story), socks, hats... Hate 'em, but I have to smile.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-21 11:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
two of a kind below, one of which is the ace of spades AKA negroid prime
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-21 11:01:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fag below.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-21 10:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thought i could smell something - when you going to bury the cunt?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-21 10:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nah, my mum isn't alive
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-21 10:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's because it's a different 'dad' every year throwing it up your slut mother.
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-21 10:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what kind of primitive nigger culture are we living in where other people get to decide what gifts to give the recipient, if the gift is for them then they should choose what it is, which guarantees what they receive will be appreciated. Every birthday and christmas for the past fifteen years my dad has given me either: sunglasses, or some piece of sporting equipment for a sport HE plays