I don't have to try hard to make fun of the people I work with (928 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: -0.93 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <thedexdimension.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-12-22 16:35:50 EST
I work with idiots. Hell I'm an idiot too. We're all a bunch of fricking idiots!
I work on the cubicle plains where the walls are just short enough so we can only see each other's heads. We look like a bunch of fucking prairie dogs yacking all day on our cordless headsets. Only difference between me and the rest of these losers is I'm the one spinning in my chair.
This woman who sits across from me, her name is Missy, likes to talk about her family alot. By the way she's in her early to mid 50's I think, but she insists people call her Missy. Your name is Melissa! It even says so on your name plate! Anyways she's got like 45 different sons. Anytime anybody brings anything up about anyone she's got a story that relates to her son cuz he works at the place they were talking about. case in point: This other chick who sits behind me says she got a call from some prick saying he worked for Best Buy's Geek Squad saying she won a free Nintendo Wii. Melissa (you listenin bitch?!) pops her head up, "my oldest works at best buy want me to call him and check it out for you?!" Wait, wait, whoa, wait a second. I thought your oldest was in Norway on some sort of student exchange program? No that's the youngest. Then wasn't he the one who made his living in Alaska on the fishing boat? No that's the middle one. Oh so you actually have only 3 sons. But what about the one in the Marine's and the other 25 sorry son's a bitches (you) that work in various retail establishments? Not to mention the pirate, stand up comedian, bartender and janitor.
Look you don't have to try so hard to get people to like you. People never will. And by people I mean me. I'm not hateful. I just don't like liars. Now sit down. And lower your chair so I don't have to see your big ugly head.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-01-07 20:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IM ASHAMED U DIDNT SOMEHOW DIE IN 9-11 OR KATRINA
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
last word. bitch.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-28 15:12:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by docker (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:14:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:12:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:06:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because this was a giant bag of shit that was soaked in shit and then thrown into the shit canyon of the shittiest shit that was ever shit by a shitty shit-shit.
Shit.
Submitted by docker (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:12:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:06:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:06:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-12-23 11:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:15:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, son, when newty, of all people, asks if there was structure or a plot...
(its pretty clear shes an alter)
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*sigh* You guys are seriously obsessed with alters. Who's alter do you actually think I am anyway?
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-12-23 04:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-12-22 16:56:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Was there a plot? Was there any form of structure at all?!
____
Wow. Can't believe I'm agreeing with her.
However....one post a day is a simple rule to follow. First, when you post twice, you knock your first post off the front page. That way, not everyone gets to see it and -2 it. Secondly, when you post, you knock something else off the front page. Something probably better than this.
You have the potential. Much more so than me. Anyway, follow the silly little rules, don't rock the uber, and all will be...well, still shitty, but at least compliantly shitty.
Got it?
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Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-22 23:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-22 23:21:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm a noob, and I'm a noob. Now lets hear something original. And why am I seeing "one a day"? What's that all about? Is there a good reason for that? Or is that one of your "I'm a veteran cuz I've been on Ubersite for at least a year" narcisism? C'mon people, help a noob out.
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Don't post drunk. Reviewing drunk can be dangerous too. I'm helping you out.
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-22 23:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm a noob, and I'm a noob. Now lets hear something original. And why am I seeing "one a day"? What's that all about? Is there a good reason for that? Or is that one of your "I'm a veteran cuz I've been on Ubersite for at least a year" narcisism? C'mon people, help a noob out.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-12-22 21:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Might want to cut back on the meth
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-12-22 18:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your streak lasted all of one day, shitforbrains.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
one a day n00b
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just 'cause Siren is so nice.
And I'm a noob, too. Just don't post drunk. Bad things happen. Shit that seems funny or interesting or clever to you at the time...just ain't. Trust me.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm +2ing you because I think you could be good. Muster through the uberinitiation period, and you'll be fine. Follow the rules, but bite back when necessary.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, son, when newty, of all people, asks if there was structure or a plot...
(its pretty clear shes an alter)
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell Melissa she should have kept her legs closed a little more.
1 post per day n00b.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, my. You have +2'd your own post. Bad Überform. Always '0' youself unless you are acknowledging a mistake; then it's a -2. Ratings you make on your own post don't count, y'see.
The next thing you'll want to do is retaliate by -2ing several posts by everyone who -2s this post. We're used to it and it doesn't do anyting save make you look even more foolish.
Welcome to Über.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ghey
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-12-22 17:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-12-22 16:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was there a plot? Was there any form of structure at all?!
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-22 16:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should put that in a post. I actually felt relaxed. Until the last sentence.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-12-22 16:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am sitting by the pool. It's a bit cloudy, but it's 82 and the pool water is 85. I am on vacation, but I'm still at my house because I like it that much. I have a cold beer within reach and several more a short walk away. There is music playing and my wife, wearing her bikini, is making apple salad and talking on the 'phone. I am minutes away from firing up the grill for a couple excellent steaks. Despite all of these pleasantries, this post still sucks.