Dysfunctional Christmas -- I hate this fucking holiday (776 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SlowlyRotting (View user info) at 2006-12-26 17:46:50 EST
I don't know why I ever moved back here... I guess deep down, you'll always love your family, no matter how fucked up they are, but that doesn't mean I don't want to put a paper bag over my head and pull a Charlie Brown on these nuts.
1) Little Sister #1 - thinks she is gay. moved to Texas to be with new "partner". refuses to be around me because she believes I am psychotic and will kill her. (she's partly right, I am psychotic, but I wouldn't kill my own flesh & blood)
2) Little Sister #2 - currently in college. boyfriend is a pot smoking loser who is just dragging her down. i'm going to end up on an episode of COPS if he shows up at my mom's house this weekend while I'm over there watching Liddel vs. Ortiz 2.
3) Mom is a co-dependant lesbian who buys us lots of shit to make up for not being around.
4) Dad is married to Cruella De Ville. Except instead of killing puppies, she kills babies.
5) Dad's parents are super-Catholics who go to church 4 times a week. You have to walk around the Jesus & Mary statues just to get into the house. Then you have to watch out for the 12 cats.
6) Mom's mom is a drama queen and a closet Klanswoman. Mom's dad is an evil genius with a suspender fetish.
I won't even get into the in-laws.
All I want is to have one single family gathering where someone doesn't end up naked, bloody, or both.
God help me, my son is already taking after them....
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-12-27 08:46:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:27:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
bad news putting that picture up on HERE
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-12-27 02:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-27 01:36:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture isn't the kids fault.
After all people WERE throwing beads at him...
beads = auto clothing removal.
___________
not valid for guys.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-27 01:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture isn't the kids fault.
After all people WERE throwing beads at him...
beads = auto clothing removal.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-26 23:14:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't feel so good.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot to describe yourself as the "beer drinkin', shit kickin', king of the trailer park" shortly after admitting to buying the PPV of some UFC happy horseshit.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
kinda sounds like my family for the most part
by the way...
bad news putting that picture up on HERE
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more purple kool-aid
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-12-26 18:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man my family is friggin boring. I'm the most badass one in the whole boring as lot, and around them I have to tone it down. And if you want I could beat up your sis' loser boyfriend and give her some hawt luvin.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-12-26 17:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn
Submitted by beauxjizzle (user info) at 2006-12-26 17:48:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha you just downloaded kiddie pr0n