2006: A Retrospective (656 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.6 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by retrospect (View user info) at 2006-12-28 12:36:59 EST
Look, so much shit happened in 2006 it would be damn near impossible to include everything in this post. I mean, I could include it all but when you couple the attention span of the average reader with the fact that, much like a lot of you in social -situations, I'm sweaty and uncomfortable, it's just not feasible. My sweaty state is due to some burger King I ate the other day, though, not having social anxiety. I have just finally gotten over the projectile vomiting and diarrhea. No more BK in 07.
Hopefully, what made 2006 for you will be included. If not, fuck off and die.
In a year where Britney spears took sexy away by flashing her flubby vagina all over the place, luckily we had Justin Timberlake to bring it back. Don't get me wrong, during her "oops I did it again" days, I dreamed of seeing all of Britney just like any other guy. Unfortunately for me, that dream came true 4 years and 2 C-section scars later.
But, Justin Timberlake not only brought sexy back, he also was part of the only thing on SNL to ever make me laugh, "Dick in a Box."
Was 2006 a time of peace and love? HELL NO. We had Cheney shoot his boy in the face and Axl Rose punch Tommy Hilfiger in the nose. Rosie and the Donald threw some verbal punches via the media and that English dude kicked some major ass as the new Bond. Also a tree kicked Keith Richards ass pretty hard in Fiji.
Lance Bass came out of the closet and Tom Cruise went in on South Park.
James Frey stretched the truth a little bit in his book and Oprah scolded him like a child on her show and Dan Brown was found not guilty of plagiarizing. On the other hand, Chad Chamley, plagiarist extraordinaire, was tried and convicted of plagiarism and his name is tainted on google for all eternity.
Here's is a list of people whose last year was 2006...
Aaron Spelling (Donna Martin Graduates)
Don Knotts ( Andy Griffith show)
Steve Irwin (Crocodile Hunter)
Bruno Kirby ( City Slickers and tons of other roles)
Peter Boyle ( my dad always tells me that peter boyles character on Everybody Loves Raymond was just like my grandfather)
We had some great movies come out this year, The Departed was great Casino Royale, Cars, World Trade Center were just a few. Boart made some major headlines but I just don't think it was as funny as the segments on Da Ali G Show.
In keeping with the past few years, nothing of interest was produced in the music world.
Televison, however, put forth some great new shows. Heroes is unbelievably good and Always Sunny in Philadelphia is poised to be one of the greatest comedies ever made.
All in all, 2006 was a good year. The Dems took control of the House and I didn't die of E coli from that bad Burger King I ate.
Did I miss anything of importance?
User Reviews
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-03-06 16:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-03-06 16:10:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
APPARENTLY LEONARDO DICAPRIO GETS SHOT IN THE FACE WHEN HE LEAVES THE ELEVATOR. There, I've ruined The Departed for anyone who hasn't seen it just as a friend did to me last night.
Do you ever take a break from talking shit retro?
-0-0-0-0
where'd this come from you angry little mutant?
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-03-06 16:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
APPARENTLY LEONARDO DICAPRIO GETS SHOT IN THE FACE WHEN HE LEAVES THE ELEVATOR. There, I've ruined The Departed for anyone who hasn't seen it just as a friend did to me last night.
Do you ever take a break from talking shit retro?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-06 12:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The only good thing about 2006, is that it seems to be the end of you.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-12-29 18:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How I love people who base their religion around fear.
"Live your whole life in perfect boredom and a dastardly amount of temptation in your head and die. Then go to heaven (We can't say it exists, but it probably does, because God is a vengeful little bastard to those that had fun)"
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-12-28 23:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you forgot Pat "mr myagi, arnold, ohara" Morita, he died just after he did robot chicken (just like Don Knotts did) he kicked ass
...mental note...robot chicken although full of badass-kickery could very well be your kiss of death if you get the oppertunity to guest star
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2006-12-28 21:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Dick in a Box.
Ironic.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-28 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY! That guy has my picture on his sign!
That's it...Ima smite him!
*zzzaaapppp*
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 15:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
funny thing is i just finished reading FAST FOOD NATION. when i became nauseated, all i could think about was how ironic it would be to read that book, then the following day eat fastfood and die.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-28 15:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:00:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
I too got hit with the runs! McDonalds steak egg and cheese breakfast bagel did it to me. Hard. Lubelessly in the butt. I pooped black for two days after. It was terrible.
-----------------
for fuck's sake people, stop eating McDonalds. Is it that hard to see what shit it is. The only reason it could be considered "food" is that you can technically eat it.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-12-28 14:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My bad
[insert something about 2006 pop culture here]
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 14:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"did i miss anything of importance"
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 14:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its supposed to be kind of tongue in cheek. apology accepted
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-12-28 14:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears? How old are you? This is your perspective on the past year?
My sincere apologies if this was meant to be satire and I missed it.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 14:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
baby suri!!
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:54:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The number 1 thing that happened this year...Time Magazine made YOU the person of the year. That's right. YOU. Spelled Yu, she cuts up chickens (I think they're chickens) in the alley next to my apartment building. There's usually a fruitstand nearby selling casaba melons and every now and then a car chase.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope got raped?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
retaliatory +2
Submitted by combatwombat (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah... and KKKramer... definitely should have been thrown on there.
Submitted by combatwombat (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that whackjob Shirley Phelps Roeper (godhatesfags.com) should have gotten some kind of mention as being one of the worst things to happen in 2006 and President Bush with "the google" and "internets" would have made my list somewhere.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-12-28 13:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I too got hit with the runs! McDonalds steak egg and cheese breakfast bagel did it to me. Hard. Lubelessly in the butt. I pooped black for two days after. It was terrible.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how i remeber peter boyle but not james brown and ford is beyond me. its the e coli
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i still haven't seen britney's twat. possibly the only one i haven't seen.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
James Brown died
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i forgot the MJ trial too
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oops!
Submitted by docker (user info) at 2006-12-28 12:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ford died