UM IV - Round 7 Matchups! (1676 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.2 on 103 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2006-12-29 01:26:58 EST
The Holidays are almost over and that can only mean two things!
1 - You are 10 pounds heavier.
2 - UM IV is back!
That's right, it's time to finish this thing.
We're down to the nitty gritty my friends. We've managed to drag this competition, kickin and screamin, straight into the new year and what better way to bring in 2007 than with an ole fashioned literary tea bagging.
Round 7 titles will be up Noon January 2.
Deadline for stories is Noon January 9.
Voting Ends Noon January 12.
Good Luck to the last few remaining story - writer - contestant ... people.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-15 13:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe I'll make the post myself if he doesn't throw anything up by the end of the day.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-15 13:02:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly he killed himself following my EPIC win.
Because that's what I'm going to do when I get knocked out.
...Kill Jared....
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-15 11:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmmm
I sent the file to JMG last night as usual...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-15 00:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbayah
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-13 17:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-13 08:39:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
(1)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:02:04 (#)
Look Jack, if you're going to criticize people's works, would you at least do it in a way that isn't so abrasive?
Like I said before, thorpe and Sacrilicious both left me good constructive criticism, and it didn't come off as hostile at all.
That's my problem with how you've been acting. You're still doing what you've always done, it's just more mean-spirited nowadays.
(2)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:30:38 (#)
Hey Bubba.
Call back when anyone actually gives a shit to who you are.
Last I checked, you weren't named Jack, in UM, or even a decent writer.
So in other words, you have about as much intellectual input as Habeeb at the Louvre.
**************
Consider it dropped.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 17:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever. Just forget it. I just wanted Jack to be nicer and set an example, and I wanted Bubba to shut up cause it's none of his business. But that apparently makes me a whiny bitch, as always.
So just drop it. I'm done.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-13 09:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAC, has there been a round you HAVEN'T pissed and moaned about?
.........
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 08:39:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-27 19:25:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter, Bubba, don't get pissed at me. Get pissed at the guy who put that up there in the first place.
I just asked about it here, found out I was stupid for asking, and corrected myself. Jebus.
Go pick a fight with Apollo or Method, they're probably the ones who started it. I don't even have a credit card, I couldn't put shit on the Uberboard if I wanted to.
-----------------------------
I'm not picking a fight with anyone. All I'm pointing out is that you've been complaining since the beginning of this tournament. Stop trying to pretend that you were innocently asking about horse87 because it's completely transparent. And, no one accused you of putting those things on the uberboard, so where did you get that from?
You don't like the rules? You can't play by the rules? Don't enter. It's that simple.
........................
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:13:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-28 11:03:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-28 09:43:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
All tournament long I've practically been sucking Jack's cock, saying how much his vote matters cause he's the only semi-literate person here...and then you accuse me of what? Trying to get him disqualified? Believe me, the way you've come out of the woodwork to suddenly blast me, there's nothing I want more than for him to beat you.
Goddamn, you did the exact same thing I did, saw one little comment and made a world of judgment from it. 'Cept I don't think you're gonna correct yourself.
=========================
Here's a judgement for you: YOU'RE A DICKHEAD.
--------------------------
Indeed, Bob. Indeed. Glad to see that I'm not the only one here who thinks you're acting like a little snot-nosed asshole.
Hey, maybe if Jack beats me I'll pull a FunnyAsCancer and throw a hissy fit in an attempt to get the rules changed to suit me! Sound good?
Whether you realize it or not, you've been acting like a whiney little bitch this whole competition, and that is what my point was. I said nothing about you sucking Jack's cock, but if that's what you need to get you off when you masturbate, then far be it from me to tell you to stop.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-13 08:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Jack has you below, Cancer whine. I tried to be nice and point out that you
were being a whiny little shit, but you couldn't drop it. You lucked out getting as
far in this as you have, and your day of reckoning is at hand.
It's fine for you to toss insults at others, but even a mis-perceived one about you is
met with metaphorical foot stomping and hair-pulling temper tantrums. Little boy, isn't
it about time you grew up?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-13 08:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(1)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:02:04 (#)
Look Jack, if you're going to criticize people's works, would you at least do it in a way that isn't so abrasive?
Like I said before, thorpe and Sacrilicious both left me good constructive criticism, and it didn't come off as hostile at all.
That's my problem with how you've been acting. You're still doing what you've always done, it's just more mean-spirited nowadays.
(2)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:30:38 (#)
Hey Bubba.
Call back when anyone actually gives a shit to who you are.
Last I checked, you weren't named Jack, in UM, or even a decent writer.
So in other words, you have about as much intellectual input as Habeeb at the Louvre.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Bubba.
Call back when anyone actually gives a shit to who you are.
Last I checked, you weren't named Jack, in UM, or even a decent writer.
So in other words, you have about as much intellectual input as Habeeb at the Louvre.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Henry Aloysius Mahoney Christopher CHRIST!!
Call whine-1-1. Have them send a WAHHHHmbulance.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 03:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Look Jack, if you're going to criticize people's works, would you at least do it in a way that isn't so abrasive?
Like I said before, thorpe and Sacrilicious both left me good constructive criticism, and it didn't come off as hostile at all.
That's my problem with how you've been acting. You're still doing what you've always done, it's just more mean-spirited nowadays.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-13 02:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not notable enough to be on anybody's fucking asshole list :'(
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-13 02:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
people who take this shit too seriously below
jackyboy am I on your fucking asshole list?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-13 00:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 00:17:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly Jack, and this isn't coming off as a prompt, but do you honestly expect me to care about your internet "people who suck" list?
My point was originally that as this thing's gone on, you've gotten more and more pessimistically judgmental, and it's not becoming.
I don't know if it's stress or whatever, but in Round 1, you used to be a lot nicer. Nowadays it's all "God this sucks!" "They're posting this shit this far in!?"
We can't all be the fabulous Jack McCallum. Some of us actually have to work just to be noticed. It's not that easy.
--
Look kid, this is a writing CONTEST, not the usual uber circle jerk. You have to work hard to win instead of just being nice or popular. And believe me, I learned that the hard way. So just stop whining and write some good shit. The cream is supposed to rise to the top, no? Look at charminglybeef. The guy is a stealth weapon. No beefing, so to speak, no bullshit, just solid writing. I wouldn't be suprised if he won the whole thing and I'd be happy to see it, just like my fave from UMII, Domenad. I bitch because I find this contest a lot of fun and sometimes it results in some great reading and not the usual front page bandwagons and two paragraph garbage posts.
And I think a careful read through of comments left on stories so far in UMIV will find comment just as bad as mine, if not worse.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-13 00:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly Jack, and this isn't coming off as a prompt, but do you honestly expect me to care about your internet "people who suck" list?
My point was originally that as this thing's gone on, you've gotten more and more pessimistically judgmental, and it's not becoming.
I don't know if it's stress or whatever, but in Round 1, you used to be a lot nicer. Nowadays it's all "God this sucks!" "They're posting this shit this far in!?"
We can't all be the fabulous Jack McCallum. Some of us actually have to work just to be noticed. It's not that easy.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 23:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Keep this in mind, FAC.
If I didn't like you I would have called you a fucking asshole a long time ago.
My Fucking Asshole list is long and getting longer, but you aren't on it.
Yet.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:36:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
I read "BULLSHIT." as angry.
Maybe that's just me.
**********
Yeah, maybe it is just you. I read the BULLSHIT as:
"Nah, buddy, you're barking up the wrong tree. You misjudged what
I said."
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I read "BULLSHIT." as angry.
Maybe that's just me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-12 20:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 19:24:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
See, Stevie, even that review rocked my sox with bagels and lox.
And Jack, your raging response to my "settle down" comment just pretty much proved my point.
***************
An observation from an outsider:
FAC, I saw no raging in this response or in the first one. Jack told you that you started the
story and it sort of fell apart before it ended. Nowhere did he say it was a pile of shit.
Christ, kid, he even voted for your entry.
Maybe you're simply nervous because of the situation, but you are accusing Jack of things
he didn't do. You won this round. Concentrate your efforts on winning the next one, and
don't read things into a review that are not there.
In short. SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN!!!
:D
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-12 20:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anybody else wondering if the listed year on FAC's birth certificate begins with a 2?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-12 19:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:02:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw crap, and I know this is like my 10th comment in an hour, but I keep forgetting to ask this.
Now that there's four of us left, and Jack has no losses...
What happens if whoever faces him in Round 8 beats him? Then come Round 9, there will be three people with one loss.
--------------------------
If someone beats Jack next round they should get the bye and not have to face him twice in a row. Luckily this isn't a scenario we need to worry about.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 19:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See, Stevie, even that review rocked my sox with bagels and lox.
And Jack, your raging response to my "settle down" comment just pretty much proved my point.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-12 19:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:28:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
What Sac here is trying to say, Stevie, is that I'm utterly boned come Round 8.
-=-
My griffin is probably going to dump me sometime during the next round. I can feel it coming. That could either make me a sad-sack of hurt or it could inspire me into greatness as I hate that crazy bitch.
And if a title inspires me, I'm a rockstar. If I struggle with the title and can't focus on one idea then I'm the one who is the boner. And not a good kind either. I'm talking boners during grandma's birthday party when you're fourteen and your 6 year old cousin Evan punches you in the dick because he thinks it's a mouse. Bad boners. Bad, bad boners.
I ate too much candy and now my teeth hurt.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to thank Mr. Beef for writing something long and engaging. With some tightening it could have been one of the best so far.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:06:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
All right then, I was #1 in The Breakdown.
Not my best stuff, obviously, but special thanks to thorpe and Sacrilicious for giving in-depth feedback. Getting down to the wire like this, that's really important.
And Jack, no offense brother, you need to lighten the fuck up. I'm sorry that my shit isn't up to your high level of writing, but dude, implying that it's god-awful is just mean. You've pretty much already got this thing in the bag, don't finish it by being a douche.
--
BULLSHIT.
My review...
====
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
Author #2 pisses away a great title, author #1 takes an old concept (see Star Trek reruns and other old sci-fi) and instead on making it sharp and refreshing, just sort of dithers with it. And what's with that picture at the end #1?
#1 gets it by a hair. If I wasn't IN this contest I wouldn't have voted for either.
====
First, this isn't over until it is over, and nothing is guaranteed.
Second... MEAN? This is a writing contest. I did not insult you personally, and I pointed out the fact that your story had potential and when potential isn't realized that irks me worse than a plain old fashioned crappy story. Your premise HAS been used in sci-fi a lot of times, but fuck, look at my shit. I've gotten decent feedback on rehashed crap (Pandemic, anyone?) not because it was original but because I tweaked it in my own way. kaos king and Thecaes are two other guys who do this in an entertaining way.
You could had had a real gem here because it stated out great and I was hooked, but it just seemed to deflate as it went along.
And remember, if I thought it was complete shit I would have just said, 'This is complete shit.'
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:57:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly, Pent, I realized that even though it was in essence a forfeit, I was still in trouble. So thanks for making me sweat. Sorry it had to be like this.
--------------
It broke my heart to have to do that because I thought I had an awesome idea for a story. I was really, really pissed.
And when I saw that we were even close, I was confused. But hence, this is Uber, so I shouldn't have been.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you FAC "The pwnzorz" is just want I needed! I rock!
I am truly pleased to have made it this far. I probably should've been sent home three rounds ago. I can't wait to sit back and watch how all this turns out.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw crap, and I know this is like my 10th comment in an hour, but I keep forgetting to ask this.
Now that there's four of us left, and Jack has no losses...
What happens if whoever faces him in Round 8 beats him? Then come Round 9, there will be three people with one loss.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly, Pent, I realized that even though it was in essence a forfeit, I was still in trouble. So thanks for making me sweat. Sorry it had to be like this.
And Parlor, you are teh pwnzorz in every way. Cmon, man, top 7 in UM. Awesome. Don't believe the haters who put it down as meaningless. Because it's not true.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I started my story off seriously, but since I basically had zero time with a computer and had to take internet access (none at home yet and a blocked Uber at work) when I had it, I just rushed the ending so that I didn't have to forfeit.
Sorry guys.
Although I have to say, I thought my story was fucking hilarious the way it turned out.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Somebody compliment me before I cry.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What Sac here is trying to say, Stevie, is that I'm utterly boned come Round 8.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAC- Yours was a decent story- glad to give feedback.
I knew CB's was his, literally, by the first sentence. His and Stevie's were my favorites.
Stevie- your talent for bringing the funny is common uberknowledge, but your For Serious stuff like this always impresses the hell out of me. You have a real sort of ethereal quality to your fiction that I just love.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A bacon bit is stuck in my keyboard at my shift key. I have to keep holding it down or i'LL TYPE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.
Time to clean the kEYBOARD METHINKS.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was entry two of Old Souls. I loved my title but couldn't pull anything together until the last minute and I am ASS at proofreading my own stuff.
And since I already lost to Jack, whom am I facing and why?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:11:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:22:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the bye should count as Jack's loss.
--
I think you should have your eyeballs plucked out.
--
Don't worry. You can do that next round.
~~~
Actually, probably gonna be me, bro.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:11:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:22:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the bye should count as Jack's loss.
--
I think you should have your eyeballs plucked out.
--
Don't worry. You can do that next round.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All right then, I was #1 in The Breakdown.
Not my best stuff, obviously, but special thanks to thorpe and Sacrilicious for giving in-depth feedback. Getting down to the wire like this, that's really important.
And Jack, no offense brother, you need to lighten the fuck up. I'm sorry that my shit isn't up to your high level of writing, but dude, implying that it's god-awful is just mean. You've pretty much already got this thing in the bag, don't finish it by being a douche.
Oh, and JonnyX...wow. I wasn't aware UM was *your* baby. Last I checked, it was Razor who always got off his ass and put this all together. Comments like this:
"Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-09 12:56:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
wow - a double forfeit where both people posted entries.
Matchups like this make me sorry I got UberMadness started up again."
Make me question your competance as a judge.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-01-12 13:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have been fatally taken by the beef! My Stronghold failed me.
Congratulations to my opponent who wrote a kick ass clever story (may he rot in hell) and to the other victors! I heart UM.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's Eastern. I confirmed with a non-voter who now sees comments.
I actually had an easier time discerning each author in the last round than this one. But regardless..you took the time to write, we took the time to read and vote..it'd be nice to see a little bit of back and forth. I mean, since Jack got the bye, he can't do his usual coy dance around which entry is his like he enjoys so much..
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:45:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think entries 1 and 2 for all three stories are McCallum.
Except for the once that is mine.
I think one of them is mine.
Is one of them mine?
I'm thirsty.
Nite-nite.
--
This is what heppens when you overcook your beef, folks.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I always wait until at least 10am PST to reveal, just because I still don't know if it's noon EST time or noon BartBart time.
Besides, it's very, very possible to deduce who was in each match-up.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on kids- 'fess up.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the bye should count as Jack's loss.
--
I think you should have your eyeballs plucked out.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-11 21:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just have to say, that Youtube link on the Uberboard...wow.
I figured this was the most general area to comment on that.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the bye should count as Jack's loss.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Attention "clever" people:
Yes, this competition is still going on. Commenting on this in a snide fashion does not make you edgy, witty, or cool in any way. Repeatedly expressing this sentiment will not stop UM IV, it will only make you look like the other 40 people saying the exact same thing.
There are at least two more rounds to go, maybe three, if that whole "beating Jack twice" thing plays out. That's at least one more month.
I know it's hard, but if you ignore the shiny golden M, you won't have to worry about it anymore, and the next 4-6 weeks can go by without anymore apathy.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apathy abound.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-10 02:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wooo apathy!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-09 17:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Welp, reading it as it looks in Uberformat...
I'm disappointed in myself.
Dammit.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOO Good readin' a'comin'
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Less than 24 hours remain to get them stories in peoples!!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-02 21:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart says titles should be working now.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-02 16:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-01-02 16:03:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
scatological warfare?
--
That's what the Uberboard is for...
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-01-02 16:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
scatological warfare?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-02 15:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, Steve! I'm looking forward to this.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-02 15:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-02 15:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-02 13:00:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys see your titles yet?
------------------------
No. OMG WTF????
---
:-(
I got up for NOTHING.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-02 15:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-02 13:00:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys see your titles yet?
------------------------
No. OMG WTF????
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-02 13:00:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys see your titles yet?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:23:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:15:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this should be fucking fun, considering that I'll have nearly zero internet access over the next 2 weeks.
Yep, I could be a goner...and if I am, sorry guys. Some things just can't be helped.
--
*typical Pentameter eschatalogical warfare*
--------------
I wish I were joking, but I'm not. My husband and I just moved into our house and we won't have internet access until January 11th, and since Uber is blocked at work, I have to go to the library to check email and other stuff. And I hope the titles are up soon too.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:15:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this should be fucking fun, considering that I'll have nearly zero internet access over the next 2 weeks.
Yep, I could be a goner...and if I am, sorry guys. Some things just can't be helped.
--
*typical Pentameter eschatalogical warfare*
*hears sound of thousands of fingers typing "eschatology" into http://dictionary.reference.com/ and is kind enough to provide link because 2007 sees the dawn of a kinder, gentler Jack*
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-02 12:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this should be fucking fun, considering that I'll have nearly zero internet access over the next 2 weeks.
Yep, I could be a goner...and if I am, sorry guys. Some things just can't be helped.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-31 15:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I drink Faygo it's only a buck-ten
I'm a pour it on your tits when we fucking
Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2006-12-31 14:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-12-31 14:50:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why won't this fucking thing die already?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-30 22:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy, this will be fun.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-12-30 21:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still love you, UM.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 20:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this now qualifies as obsession...
Uberboard: Thinnest Skin/Easiest to Fuck With: Nancy_McCallum (I forgot: Most Alter Votes in UM)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-29 18:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-29 05:09:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Had a thought, and this is just me, feel free to disregard:
Say "fuck it" to the double-loss Swiss thing. It evens the playing field, and removes the following scenario: If Jack gets the bye, that means he'd have to lose in each of the final two rounds to lose the crown, so that's no good.
As far as the bye, just do the old "name on a slip of paper, in the hat" deal. Everyone can accept the random name draw, and it takes away the arguments/debate over who should rightfully get it.
But again, just an idea. You do whatever you feel is best.
**************
That's how the double loss thing works. Say Jack goes in to the final round undefeated. His opponent must beat Jack twice to win. Beat Jack? That sounds gay...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-29 17:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha (haah aah)
Don't cha
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-12-29 13:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why ruin a tradition?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 13:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That didn't take long...
HAR HAR IRONY http://www.ubersite.com/m/97214#2264369 Inflamed anus sez: Vote early and often !!!
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:51:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
2 things--
A.) If I had entered I would have been out long ago.
B.) See 'A'.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Any ideas yet who the inflamed anus is who appears obsessed with this year's UM?
WTF? http://www.ubersite.com/m/97211 Har Har Clusterfuck
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:10:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've also sent you a pair of my boxers (used) which I feel you have earned as well.
--
Ahahaha! You dumb bastard! I'm gonna make a killing on Ebay! Yeehaw!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:02:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:25:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
That was Pent's first loss Jack.
--
Oh. Right. Must have more coffee...
And for the record, I don't care about all this bye business.
Having said that, I think I've earned the fucker.
====================
Yes you have. I've also sent you a pair of my boxers (used) which I feel you have earned as well.
You know, there are several Latvian men who have offered me a hell of alot of some type of foreign currency for them via my website.
I hope you feel honored.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 12:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:25:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
That was Pent's first loss Jack.
--
Oh. Right. Must have more coffee...
And for the record, I don't care about all this bye business.
Having said that, I think I've earned the fucker.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:30:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:04:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
you gonna finish this series?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74764
========================
I've tried to write at least 50 times in the last month. I just can't.
------------------
</3
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:04:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
you gonna finish this series?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74764
========================
I've tried to write at least 50 times in the last month. I just can't.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:42:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is gay.
=============
You mean man who sticks rubber fist in my annus was gay?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was Pent's first loss Jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, don't take this the wrong way, P, you know I like your stuff, but here goes...
Since I beat Pentameter last round, shouldn't there only be six of us going head to head on three titles?
Granted, many of you may have picked up on my subtle hints indicating that I don't know Swiss Elimination Rules and Logic from nothing, so... wtf?
My name is Jack, and I'm a Snarkaholic.
HELLO, JACK!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-12-29 11:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you gonna finish this series?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74764
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-29 04:36:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark is Jack's alter, thus why he has the bye.
=============
Yeah, but that's old news.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is gay.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god- it's UM time again already?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-29 10:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's an UberMadness?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-12-29 06:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 UM
Happy Xmas and new year and that Snark!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-29 05:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jackie McCallum is Teh Devil...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-29 05:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Had a thought, and this is just me, feel free to disregard:
Say "fuck it" to the double-loss Swiss thing. It evens the playing field, and removes the following scenario: If Jack gets the bye, that means he'd have to lose in each of the final two rounds to lose the crown, so that's no good.
As far as the bye, just do the old "name on a slip of paper, in the hat" deal. Everyone can accept the random name draw, and it takes away the arguments/debate over who should rightfully get it.
But again, just an idea. You do whatever you feel is best.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-29 04:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark is Jack's alter, thus why he has the bye.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-29 03:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG JACK MCCALLUM CHEATS AND HE IS HERE BECAUSE OF ONE ALTER VOTE!!!
LOOK AT MY PROOF!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-12-29 03:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When the hell did I get eliminated?! This is clownshoes! Recount!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-29 03:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo quarter-finals.
Then semifinals.
Then finals.
THEN THE UBERMADNESS ALL-STAR GAME! WOOOOOO!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-29 02:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-28 22:50:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
i just can't imagine who's going to win
***
i'll give 5-1
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-29 02:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aaaaaaannnnnddddd...
Jack wins.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
steve FTW
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:52:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And now there's an unexplained gap between parlour vs beef and the rest of them. :P
I'm writing something atm, it's all going out with only quick spellcheck but I'm feeling good about it, seems to be coming out better than any writing I've done in years....not that that's saying much.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2 things--
A.) If I had entered I would have been out long ago.
B.) See 'A'.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know most logic is lost on me, but yours especially so Darko
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-29 01:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think stevie_says should get the bye, because he's the only one with a 57% total.