Hey Dr. Phil - I got one for ya' (SPT) (680 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.35 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by marginwalker (View user info) at 2007-01-04 15:38:04 EST
As we find ourselves amidst the throes of yet another shit post Thursday, I thought it a good time to pose to my fellow Uberers a "Dear Abby" flavored question, if you will.
With the vast amount of accessible pornography, on-line "dating" possibilities(VIA computer and cellphone), and subsequent sexual frills modern technology has provided at the click of a mouse - to what extent must we curb such indulgences when we find ourselves "tied down"?
Let me be clear - I'm not referring to pornographic websites. I mean, who doesn't hop on the free-nakedness highway every know and then. I'm referring to those more interactive in nature, geared towards establishing casual relationships.
For example: Is it acceptable to frequent Lavalife, Yahoo Personals, or other dating-oriented sites? It is acceptable ONLY if you do not engage in "conversations", or pursue interactions with individuals on such sites? Or is this a cyber "no-no" if one is currently committed?
This seems to be an issue for many couples I know, and I imagine some of you have encountered it within your own personal life.
With the gross amount of time I know many of us spend on here - or on-line period - flagrantly flitting away company time, I thought it would be an appropriate place to entertain such a question.
That being said - Discuss!
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-13 05:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally troll for babes online and im married
but Im a jerk so its okay
LOL at the comment below :)
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-05 23:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what you're saying is you have an ugly girlfriend and a boring sex life?
Good to know.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-05 13:44:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
With my recent experience with Gabbly - I went online to "chat" because I genuinely enjoy the limited exposure to divergent personalities - even (especially) ones as cantankerous and down-right bitchy as the folks lurking around this site. Being a giant fan of me, I use that kind of medium to provide myself endless hours of selfish mirth - not troll for babes.
I find on-line personalities to be tremendously interesting - some might argue it is a 'pure' form of communication due to its relative anonymity and virtual lack of accountability.
I think its good clean fun - of course I tend to conduct myself in a manner which is absolutely true to me - I'm equally smug and fond of myself in person. I may take the opportunity to say certain things that I wouldn't get the chance to say due to our advanced level of social decorum - but have no reservation repeating ANYthing I have typed out to any one of the retards I might have offended.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-05 13:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Relationships are complex (duh). So I figure, as such, there really is no set answer for what kind of stimuli a person needs, or what a partner is happy to deem socially benign. Trust and communication are (as always) the cornerstones to any successful relationship and so long as the persons involved are completely aware - then who is to say what is "right" and "wrong"?
Different Strokes, n' all.
With my recent experience with Gabbly - I went online to "chat" because I genuinely enjoy the limited exposure to divergent personalities - even (especially) ones as cantankerous and down-right bitchy as the folks lurking around this site. Being a giant fan of me, I use that kind of medium to provide myself endless hours of selfish mirth - not troll for babes.
I find on-line personalities to be tremendously interesting - some might argue it is a 'pure' form of communication due to its relative anonymity and virtual lack of accountability.
I think its good clean fun - of course I tend to conduct myself in a manner which is absolutely true to me - I'm equally smug and fond of myself in person. I may take the opportunity to say certain things that I wouldn't get the chance to say due to our advanced level of social decorum - but have no reservation repeating ANYthing I have typed out to any one of the retards I might have offended.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-05 13:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck = duly noted
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-05 13:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So these sites you mention. Do they like have real women on them? and and can I meet them?
Just wondering because I have this single friend you see. The 'I' above is merely a typo.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-05 13:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I go onto those sites just to laugh at the losers that I know and heckle them.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-01-05 11:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice work.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-05 08:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:38:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna have to say online relationships aren't ok. Going to those sites shows that you aren't fully committed to your other half and that you would be weak enough to enter a real relationship with another person.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-05 01:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
SAM seeks ASSPLAY with DBW. BBW OK. Transexuals not preferred, but will work. I can host. Reply with nude PIXX and results from latest STD test. If a woman, must have a C-section scar. Either way, must be hairy as hell.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna have to say online relationships aren't ok. Going to those sites shows that you aren't fully committed to your other half and that you would be weak enough to enter a real relationship with another person.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:35:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't want to be mean and just call this a clusterfuck of words, so here, have a snickers. That's peanuts and caramel. Put that in your mouth. enjoy that.
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That's precisely what it is, also precisely the point of today's theme.
Thanks for the attempt at sarcastic humour, though.
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:35:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't want to be mean and just call this a clusterfuck of words, so here, have a snickers. That's peanuts and caramel. Put that in your mouth. enjoy that.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-04 17:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-04 16:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-01-04 16:06:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
People talk on-line for two reasons, bored at work or to touch other people where they pee.
That is it.
If you are in a relationship and you are looking for people to "chat with" then the one you are with is too boring or too ugly.
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My thoughts as well.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-01-04 16:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People talk on-line for two reasons, bored at work or to touch other people where they pee.
That is it.
If you are in a relationship and you are looking for people to "chat with" then the one you are with is too boring or too ugly.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-04 16:05:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree, Sacrilicious, though most men I've talked to seem to approach the topic quite differently - with more nonchalance as far as such activities being considered as "unfaithful".
Personally, I'm with you. I'd rather my partner be perusing www.hardcorefisting.com than LavaLife. Obviously there's different intentions there.
Thanks!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-04 16:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You must have an ugly girlfriend if you can get your rocks off by chatting online with some other loser...
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-04 15:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge - you're completely right. But the bottom line is "intent" is easy to argue. Obviously one would argue it was merely pursuing common interests.
As a female, when I'm involved in a male (seriously) I stop using such sites to avoid this problem.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I've had (insecure) boyfriends who are bothered by plutonic exchanges b/w male friends and myself.
I've also dated men who sit in front of a computer all day, and e-mail other women to tell them how nice their asses are - which doesn't cut it for me.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-04 15:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pornography and dating sites (optimally) serve different purposes. I wouldn't really understand the draw for someone in a (happy) committed relationship toward dating sites when what the offer is a few photos and the possibility of new relationships. Dating profiles don't exactly show an honest cross-section of what one "might be missing." Those sites don't aim specifically toward cyber-relationships, right? If someone's looking for some sort of sexual release without meeting or getting personal, there are better places to look.
I'd understand someone's fetish or interest in forms of online sexual play before I'd forgive someone for visiting sites aimed at actual "dating".
As far as finding sexual gratification online (interactive, but not in-person, e.g. cybersex, phone sex, etc), I think this line is best drawn on a case by case basis. That said, I would not approve of my partner engaging in those activities if it wasn't discussed with me, to some degree.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-01-04 15:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a personal thing.
If you're there with the intent of meeting up with someone / engaging in sexual practices, and you think your partner would disapprove, then yes it should be frowned upon.
However, as an old colleague once said, "It's not cheating if they're in a different area code."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-04 15:44:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose the limitations should be based upon the intent of the individuals involved.
Is the intent simple interaction? I email people from this site and a couple others because we share interests or work on some little projects together. If I was swapping emails with somebody and they expressed a sexual intent, I'd cut it off.
What do I know, though? I feel like shit today and I'm not in a good mood.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-04 15:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to Ye Olde Dayting Personals - HUZZAH!