Black In America! (PART !) (732 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.94 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Daniel Jaines (View user info) at 2007-01-07 14:40:54 EST
Yes under friends and face full readers I am back in AMERICA after a extenuated vacation down in the bowls of Hell, a MEXICAN PRISON!
Now I must tell you that my internal time will be limited these days because my love Jaylena is always doing bog writings on her favorite web sight called brownsista.com where I bet she is always trading tanning tips and she knows what she is doing too because for a girls as dark and lonely as she is her skin is as soft as slick and not dried out like most of the California women here who look like sample bags on the back of a Kawasaki Vulgar that has done a few cross country runs. Jaylena says I should read her brags but she is a tease and says she writhes under a pseudopod so I should try and guess which blob is hers and I will do that when I have time.
I am so happy to be homo and I am here to tell you all about it. TWO Christ masses ago I went down to Trio Juana with my upstanding friend Nobe (remember it is produced like the 'knowb' in Mobile Prize not like a jap name 'nobay.') and we were going to calibrate ourselves because my lovely Jaylena and her brothers were all going to some thing called Kansas some kind of Christ man celebration from forerunners. Anyhow she said that that the Rerun Al Sharpie was going to be there along with Jessie Jacks In (who the hell are these gays)? and even though I know Jaylena is a very lubricated modern woman I have to draw the lime somewhere and she said instead of arranging about it she would go to the Kansas celebration and Nobe and I could have fun south of the browser and we could still have New Year Eve together.
So I kissed her (I bet all her skinny lip friends infer her because she will never need any collegian injections in her big full lips and I love kissing them) and watched her walk away her big perfect tear end swinging back and fort and then Nobe and I hoped in the Mustard and drove south.
Again Nobe made me auger by saying that I am dating a Negro and I nearly threw him out of the car. I called him a cock supper and told him to lay off. Just because Jaylena and her brothers have tamed skin does not mean they are block people she likes the sun I said she is a California girl I said.
So we crossed the barter and did our usual things going to dinky shows and getting drunk and smoking lots of wad. I had sex with a little scenario who had two Virginias and I flipped a peso to decide what one to stick it in. Before he took his turn Nobe said that was chafing and I said don't be stupid it isn't chatting if Jaylena don't know about it.
We went to another bar and Nobe got a seat at a table because we were hungry and I went to the bar and got the shits and when I got to the table we found out it was a Mexican carry okay bar and some wetback was singing Bone in the USA. It was historical because of his heavy ascent and we were downing shots of treacle and Nobe was yelling fuck off cheese dick.
Then a massif beamer with a shared head and lots of ink got up and started singing a rap song and Nobe said what the hell is that shit?
I glistened and this is what I herd.
"And fade fools and bleak rules until we mayor
Blasé up, getting with holes through my pave."
I tolled him it was "Shortly Wanda Be A Thug" by Topic Shaker and Nobe said I listened to nigger music and I said that is total bull because every one nose that most rape music is really done by wheat guys and then to market the stuff they just put pictures of fake street-though bleak dudes on the covers of the CBs. Nobe assed why the hell they would do that and I said it was so the super rear italics of the white man could take avalanche of the ignominious negro and get rich fast.
I tore him that Jaylena's brothers let me in on the scare and that it was a huge secrete and when I was with them we listened to Torpid all the time.
Nobe said I was a gobble fool and shouted at the wetback to get off the stag. "Go wrap some tacos you taco-warper", he said.
The Mex dropped the microprobe and said something about Nobe's mother and tore off his shirt. He was full of taboos.
The salsa slingers at the next table shorted ,"EME ESE! And ran like hell.
The next thing I new we were completely serenaded by more irked Minivans and Nobe and I garbed some beer bottles and broke them off on the table and said"Lest get it on, cock stokers!"
To be continent. In the next part I will tell about prison and how Jorge la Rest (he would be Gorge the Beef in America) use to wrap a tortilla around his dick and what he did with the burrito mass grandly.
And yes, even tough this is a burrowed computer I have the atomic spill check on and I believe it is working fine so please no incontinence on my granary!
User Reviews
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2007-01-09 16:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"He was full of taboos."
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-09 15:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-01-09 09:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
when do we get part @
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-08 13:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you enjoyed your stay in La Mesa prison, one of the most God-forsaken places on Earth...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best shitty alter ever.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden, make the n00bs understand....
This is beautiful history.
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh la vache. that was funny.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-01-08 07:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-08 03:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to the bar and got the shits and when I got to the table we found out it was a Mexican carry okay bar and some wetback was singing Bone in the USA.
--
hahahaha this just made me laugh out loud. On a monday morning that is impressive thank you.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-08 00:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
your stuff from 2 years ago isn't bad
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-08 00:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it...
but:
"And yes, even tough this is a burrowed computer I have the atomic spill check on and I believe it is working fine so please no incontinence on my granary!"
...is pure fucking magic.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-01-08 00:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a tentative +2. If I find out these spelling and grammar and syntax errors aren't intentional, I will be pissed.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2007-01-07 22:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-07 20:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was aufle. moor speling and grimmer airs than i cann sahke a stick at. this was just bad, evin if yoo did poot the airs in thair on perpis...i downt cair hoo yoo arr, pleez staup powsting shet lik this, oar, at leest, right it in semy prauper engrish
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-07 20:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
this was AWFUL. more spelling and grammar errors than i can shake a stick at. this was just bad, even if you did put the errors in there on purpose....i dont care who you are, please stop posting shit like this, or, at least, write it in semi-proper english
"rape music" and 'carry okay' are the only thing that saved this from a minus two
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-07 18:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
looking forward to part @
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-07 18:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't get it. Don't care.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-01-07 16:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Must've been frightening to be serenaded by taco warpers with taboos.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-07 16:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I am so happy to be homo and I am here to tell you all about it."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-07 16:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Never enjoyed this assmuncher.
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin beautiful
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHHAHA it's YOU!
Glad you're back, oldie.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-01-07 15:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. I fucking love the typos. I find them entertaining and witty here, mostly because I assume it was purposeful. :D